Diagnosed with PTSD and severe depression

How does one recover from trauma and PTSD? This area is for people who have been attacked by CPS and are having a hard time getting over it.

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Joined: Wed May 16, 2012 5:38 pm

Diagnosed with PTSD and severe depression

Postby Ace » Wed Sep 17, 2014 4:43 pm

My babies have been taken from me twice, and now they are adopting them out to a couple of gay men in San Diego, CA. MY SWEET BABIES!!! I have since been diagnosed with PTSD and severe depression. My babies were taken from me over a year ago. I used to cry all of the time, and when we were together, my wife and I used to cry together. Neither of us EVER used drugs, drank or smoked anything when we were together. I have now been sober for over 20 years. However, because of CPS, instead of the peace and serenity that I had before CPS, and with the help of my 12-step work over the years, I now have panic and depression. I used to sleep, even when I was ill. Now, with the CPS case still looming, and with my precious babies, aged 2, 5 and 6 already, ILLEGALLY adopted out, most nights are like last night. I looked a pictures and short videos of my sweet babies and cried all night. I MISS THEM SO MUCH THAT I CANNOT STAND IT! My son used to come to my bed every night while I was asleep. I would awake every morning with my incredibly sweet, sensitive son tucked up under my arm, sound asleep. I still look for him almost every time that I wake up. Then I cry some more. It is terrifying to wait for the next court date, because I already know what they are going to do. They are going to terminate my parental rights, and "approve" an adoption that has already happened--illegally, of course, but what can I do? My life is basically over. Without my babies I don't have much of a reason to go on. I have never thought of suicide as a solution, but then I always had hope, before. Now that I feel hopeless, I feel an urge creeping up on me to do something about this endless torment. I am still trying to involve the ACLU, find a lawyer who will work for the just cause of it, etc. But my hopes are fading as the court date gets closer. It is like awaiting my own execution. I am sick with fear. I am so lonely that I almost welcome a more permanent solution. MY BABIES!!! All that my ex and I ever did was to love them. Unfortunately, I was ill with a disease that no doctor could find, so I couldn't work or even get out of bed a lot of times...and that is when I wasn't in the hospital. Fortunately, my new doctor discovered what was wrong. I had no immune system due to an almost complete lack of vitamin D. My wife had to take care of all four of us, so she couldn't work. And so, the real problem is that I was very ill and, as such, we were very poor. Now, CPS has found a couple of gay men who have lots of money. That's it. That's their justification for destroying my family. Even though I am now on the mend, and my wife is back in my house. We aren't "together," but we live in the same place again. I should also add that my wife left me because we fought ALL OF THE TIME after the babies were taken for the second time. Mostly, my wife resented having to take care of me all the time. I understood this, and two weeks after she left me, I was already through the depression of that trauma. However, she left me TEN DAYS BEFORE OUR COURT DATE!!! We were scheduled to get our babies back. My wife just couldn't take it any more, no matter what it did to the case. Well, when we went into court in ten days, the judge postponed our case for one month. A month later, all of the people who had recommended that we get our babies back were now saying that we would NEVER be good parents, and that we could NEVER change. my question is this: HOW DOES MY WIFE LEAVING ME MAKE ME A BAD FATHER?! No one has ever been able, or even tried, to explain that one to me. And how does "more money" equal "better parents?" My babies are angels. I am the only one whom they would mind just because they wanted to. In foster care my sweet, sensitive then-THREE-YEAR-OLD SON (now five) started INJURING HIMSELF!!! He NEVER did this when he was with me, only with foster parents. I cried all the harder every night after I found that out. And it shattered my heart when I found out where he learned to do that. When the babies were taken for the first time, they were put with a foster family that abused them. My son would come to visits with LARGE SCABS AND ABRASIONS AROUND HIS THROAT!!! Not only were those foster parents never charged with anything, but CPS threatened to stop our visits if we looked our babies over for scabs, scratches and scars, of which there were plenty! And the reason why we became suspicious was because despite the fact that it was in the desert during the middle of the summer, they had our babies dressed in head-to-toe clothing, even making my poor baby boy wear a Nehru-style SHIRT IN THE HEAT TO COVER ALL OF THE SCABS!!! After we called the police numerous times, the babies were FINALLY moved to a different foster home, but it was too late. My sweet little boy must have connected pain with foster homes, because after that he started injuring HIMSELF and admitting to it. *SOB* My POOR, SWEET BABIES!!! Bless their tortured little souls! I can't write anymore. I am crying too hard. More, later...

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Joined: Tue Jul 08, 2014 9:16 am

Re: Diagnosed with PTSD and severe depression

Postby WornDownMom » Sat Sep 27, 2014 3:14 am

HI there. As a mom of a daughter who is my only angel who is getting adopted and who ALSO has severe PTSD due to CPS and severe depression and who also has an illness and who is also facing marital trouble because of it all, my heart goes out to you. Being a single dad does NOT make you a bad father and neither does being poor. But our society thinks that way. 7 years as a single mom taught me that. I also didn't have a lot of money and I was single and I was met with a lot of cps and hostility and false allegations and criticism, just for being a pretty single mom.
What you and I have to do is re evaluate our lives now. I know you miss your precious babies. I miss mine, too. BUt the thing is, if our lives are going to be a constant barrage of cps (like mine has) then maybe it IS best for our children to be adopted.

Are all of your children getting adopted? Listen I know you may be religiously or morally opposed to gays but they are actually wonderful people and make great parents, and your kids will love California its a great place for kids. I am from there. My 10 year old half brother lives in CA and they have good schools and this couple is rich? Your kids will miss you but they will have a good life. Just be grateful OK? I have had many gay friends and they are good people, I promise your kids will be OK. Just be grateful that they are getting out of the system! Thats great!!

I think about suicide every day too. But would your kids want that? NO! They wont be kids forever, they will grow up! Stay for THEM.

I know that there is really nothing you can do and it is hard to feel so helpless but you need to think about your life differently now, because of the way it has gone. Your kids need you and want you, but if people are going to harass you like this then it may be better if they get adopted but NOT BECAUSE OF YOU! Ok do you understand that. Take care of yourself. What state are you in? I am in FL.

I have been diagnosed with these things also. Try EMDR ask a therapist. I got it for about $20 a session. It will help you.

Prepare yourself for adoption because it sounds like that's all you can do. I would probably pack away the videos and things of your kids for now. Just take care of yourself. Realize that you cannot help your kids if you cannot take care of yourself. Remember don't you wanna get them a nice car when theyre adults? They will be back in your life!

Go do things you like to do OK? This does NOT mean that you are selfish or forgetting about your kids, it means that you love them and are hurting SO MUCH that you just CANT HANDLE it right NOW. Get stronger and build up your energy so you can handle it.

You need to come to peace with this adoption. There is a rich couple who want some precious little angels? That is wonderful, they are saving your kids.

Also know that couples who lose kids usually split up. This adoption is causing problems in my marriage too.

There is a great factsheet at https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/impactobio/index/cfm called Impact of Adoption on Birth Parents. Read it; it will help you!

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Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 11:57 am

Re: Diagnosed with PTSD and severe depression

Postby noroses4u2c » Sat Apr 04, 2015 1:23 pm

I also have moderate to severe PTSD due to what they did to me. It's perfectly normal to experience this after such trauma, but it never feels normal to us.
My child was abducted by the government. They demanded a ransom (the case plan). I paid the ransom and my child was kept anyway. It isn't much different from stranger abduction except that the government uses its power to make the abduction legal and unpunishable.

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Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2016 2:34 am

Re: Diagnosed with PTSD and severe depression

Postby eyes0421 » Wed May 24, 2017 11:32 am

Never Settle.
Never Give Up!
What we do now is setting the example for our legacy. As adults our choices & how we choose to deal with the consequences of those choices make will have an effect on our children. We all are choosing to lead by setting the example. Depending on what is best for each individuals situation as parents it is our responsibility and blessing to have that first effect on our kids. We are our children's first teachers, mentors, inspiration, or muses.

Since our world comes from a diverse background of different cultures, beliefs, values, traditions, morals and standards it is a parent's right to be the one who makes the choices of what to teach our kids. Most of us parents love and would die for our children in a heartbeat. We know and love our children and with all of our hearts. As parents we should have the right to make the choices of what to teach, how to teach, and prioritize those teachings to tailor each child's individual best interest in mind.
What when where and How we choose to educate, protect, and make sacrifices for our cultural beliefs now, will be honored and passed on Generations. Or until our Legacy discovers something better. Growth and abundance is what we want for our children especially during times we can not be there. Whatever beautiful, unique, individual, cultural background you may come from, and who you are at your core have the gift of free will to choose to take a stand for what we believe is righteous. Our Legacy will continue to honor our teachings because of our power of faith and the prosperity that comes from what we've taught them. Remember everybody is different. No two people on this Earth have walked in the exact same Footprints as the other. Different is flexible. There is no right or wrong way. As adults (parents or not) it is our responsibility to give our children the opportunity of education. We all choose to either lead our children down a righteous​ path or teach them to appreciate what they've been given. It's up to us now to make a difference for them later. Have courage. Stay strong.

Something to think about:
Imagine living with your children during the time that Jesus Christ was crucified on the cross.....what would you do to teach our children? Not to get involved only protect their own lives or stand up for what you know in your heart is righteous?

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