A Note to All Involved in Protecting Children

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A Note to All Involved in Protecting Children

Postby HeartBroken62 » Fri Sep 09, 2011 1:17 pm

Your job, it is one of many in our system that helps to punish those who abuse our children. What part of the intrinsic system within our society to bring justice for our abused children are you…Social worker, investigator, District Attorney, Judge, news media…etc.? It really doesn’t matter what part you are, but do you really do your job? Are you one of those who doesn’t care to make an honest effort to find truth? Are you one of those who believe if it comes before you, it must be true, so pretend to make an effort and punish them now? Or are you one of the rare ones that wants to know the truth and make sure before you prosecute someone, you are completely convinced by evidence that your course is the right one? I ask you, this because when you send a person to prison for this type of crime, you are sending them into an environment where they WILL be beaten, harassed, and possibly even raped…gang raped. Can you sleep, look yourself in the mirror, and talk to God with a clear conscience, knowing that you have, to the best of your ability, checked all possible avenues and rechecked them because you care about whether you are persecuting a true criminal or an innocent person? Are you given proper resources to do your job right? Are you given adequate time to do a thorough investigation of all sides to make a sound determination or pushed to get to the next case because there are so many that you don’t have time to spare on truth?

These are probably some of the hardest cases to be involved in (they would be for me) because of the emotional nature involved. We (who love children) instinctively want to persecute anyone who is accused of abusing a child because they are so very precious and defenseless and of course, they never, ever lie (not even for someone they love or to make themselves seem more like someone they love)…somebody has to be there to protect them! At the cost of physically and, most importantly, emotionally damaging a person of innocence, we tend to go into autopilot with our own emotions regarding these claims so we will inevitably only look for proof it happened and send them away (trying to have a clear conscience because we just “SAVED A CHILD”). We don’t even look to see if there is the possibility that a parent (or other family member) has been through the same thing and justice has never come for them. Could they be trying to seek justice in an off-hand manner? We don’t look to see if there are unresolved issues in their past that could have turned a simple statement into a nightmare because of fear. We don’t look to see if there is a history between the people involved that might have brought about a turn to seek revenge not even related to the case at hand but still just as important (to see how the subconscious mind can play tricks on all of us). Dealing with the inner workings of family issues is not an easy thing at all. (As parents and grandparents, we hopefully learn this and use it to “get to the bottom” of those sibling quarrels.) Who do you listen to? Somewhere in all the garbage that comes out, the truth is hiding. Problem is, we don’t know these people, and so we don’t know who is telling the truth. Hence, we side on the side of the child automatically before we ever get the facts. This seems to be the way our system handles these cases…GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT!! Not the way our system of justice is supposed to run…Innocent until proven Guilty. I know, sometimes, it is just hard to truly think this way when someone is before you accused of hurting one of our most precious little children.

There is a case right now, where 3 beautiful little lives are being ripped apart. This is not happening because of what was supposedly done to one of them, but because the mother has past issues and will never let them learn to live without these issues being in their little faces over and over and over and over and over through the years to come. They are in danger of being emotionally torn apart for the rest of their lives because of something that happened to their mother (twice) when she was a child herself and she has been extremely damaged emotionally. Why? Because when the first incident happened, the mother told and none she told believed her. Her faith in those who were supposed to be there to protect her was broken. When the second incident happened, she blocked it out and didn’t tell. She doesn’t remember what happened in detail, only that the person involved (a cousin, this time, who had lived with her and her broken family for many years in her childhood and adult life) was standing over her in the middle of the night and that he (to this day) gives her “the creeps”. Last year he went to the local police, confessed in detail to what he did and she was given the opportunity to hear the details and prosecute…she did not want either because she didn’t want to know the details (can’t say I blame her) nor hurt her family (further). At this time, she told all she was okay and there was no need to prosecute. Since this time, she has been running from it in her mind. She has repeatedly tried to drink her problems away and self medicate any way she could find. For the world, she puts up a face of “I am okay and a great Mother” while behind the scenes, she medicates, denies, and talks of many things in front of her children that are damaging then blames it on others. She is extremely delicate mentally and can’t handle the least bit of constructive criticism meant to encourage and help her…it is always twisted into someone trying to tell her what is wrong with her. It is a very sad situation indeed.

The person being accused of wrong doing to her child is someone that she and her husband have had a jealousy in regards to for years. They think this person has had a “free ride” with her husband’s and his parents for many years (the “free ride” consisted of the accused being required to maintain a job and pay his way) and don’t think they have ever done anything for them (even though their wedding was basically paid for, planned and held in the parent’s backyard; they have been given 2 cars through the years; lived in the parent’s home repeatedly for extended periods of between 6 months to over a year at a time {sometimes without paying what they should} and many other forms of help through the years). At the time these accusations came up, all of them had been asked to leave the home by the first week in June, 2011. The mother and her children had made arrangements to go stay with a half-brother of her’s after the oldest was out of school for the summer (it’s always a move to another family member’s home for “bailing out” instead of to their own place that they have worked hard to save up for), the father was talking about turning himself in for warrants (which did not work out that way, but he is incarcerated now anyway) and the accused had no real definitive plans. Once again, they were watching him being “babied” and he would be allowed to stay when they were being asked to leave…what they didn’t know was that the terms for all of them were non-negotiable at the time and the accused was being forced to leave too (but because of the accusations the accused has been allowed to stay, but still required to pay their own way).

How do I know so much about this case? Because I am one of the intrinsic inner-workings of this family that has watched this scenario unfolding for years, never knowing, it would eventually end in total family destruction. I never dreamed welcoming a troubled individual into my family, because of my son’s choice, and trying to be a supportive person in that life, would cost all that is dear…our granddaughters, our sons, our family unity. I never dreamed that her hatred and distrust of all around her would spill out towards the family that welcomed her and tried to let her know she had found a safe haven and harbor in an unkind world. Had I had a crystal ball all those years ago, I would have done everything to talk my son out of bringing her baggage into our family circle, at the risk of alienating him in the beginning of their relationship, but I believe in helping those in need, if I can…I believed I could be a friend (I often encouraged her to seek professional help but money always stood in the way), an ear, a help to a very confused and abused young lady when she seemed to feel she had no one in the world who cared. I believed God would use my family and I to show her what it really means to Love others. I believed all would be okay and she would eventually be able to let the past go…WRONG!!!!!

Now, I believe, because of a mother’s past, a grave injustice is about to take place. I believe my granddaughters will grow up being psychologically manipulated into becoming as confused as their mother and may even turn to drinking and drugs as their parents have done. I believe they are headed toward a lifetime of emotional misery based on replaying any past, real or imagined, injustice that ever crosses their doorstep over and over and over and over and over again. I believe they will witness their mother’s drinking to the point of inebriation or drugging to the point of emotional amplification, in front of them, repeatedly, while she vents about anything she perceives as a “wrong doing” directed at her or her little family. I believe those precious babies will be taught it is okay to lie as long as it gains something for them in some way, no matter whom it might hurt. I believe an innocent accused (believing the truth will somehow magically appear) will be damaged further because no one cares enough to dig deeply into the inner workings of the family in question to truly see how such an accusation could have ever worked it’s way into it and whether there is really truth to it.

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