Better off w/ a diagnosis for our kid? (prevention )

[CPSptsd]

I wasn't sure where to put this, and it pertains to how to best protect ourselves in the future from unwanted / unwarranted CPS intrusion.

We are moving out of state next year. Currently, our child is in a school where we don't worry TOO much about CPS calls (of course you never know), because the principal knows us, our older kids attended the same school, and we have a 10 year history overall there that we hope would result in them speaking to us before every making a call. At least, that is our HOPE. No guarantees anywhere.

Plus, we are personal friends with the school nurse, another plus, since she usually hears or is asked about potential CPS calls/reports for the most part, she is usually consulted, and she is cautious in this regard (having had her own battles with CPS when her kids were young, and a CPS issue with her grandchild that was frivolous).

Okay so my point; our child has behavioral issues directly related to CPS interference. The CPS involvement caused her to be gone from our home for a year, neglected, abused, and traumatized. We have various issues with her and I think that if we were to pursue it, she could / would be diagnosed with a few different things, categorizing her as special needs and special education qualified.

UP until this point we have not pursued any kinds of "labels" in this manner because we are so terrified of encountering a foolish therapist or other mental health worker who will misunderstand something and make a report. We are and have been hoping to help her as much as possible on our own.

However, I have been wondering lately if having a child with a "diagnosis" makes things any better when it comes to avoiding reports in the future. I mean, if your kids is diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, for example, aren't "they" less likely to report to CPS when the child is behaving oddly or badly?

This is a concern because we will be moving out of state and away from those who are familiar with her and her history and her issues and I am terrified about how to deal with a new school. Homeschooling her isn't really an option.

[mamalion]

I think a label will help others to understand in general.

if your seeking help for her at the same time for such label even the better for CPS

[Beatthescammers]

Yes. Get a diagnosis. Ask your pediatrician/psychologist for a letter regarding this before you move in case there is any trouble at the new school. Tell you child to NEVER go into the guidance counselor's office without a parent present and that they should NOT speak to any CPS worker if she/he shows up at the new school. Role play this at home before it happens for real.

[family_man]

I'm in the same situation with one of my sons, who was wrongly institutionalized by CPS for 2 1/2 years. During this time, he received virtually NO education, so he is way behind his peers academically, not to mention emotionally. This would cause extreme emotional stress, if he were to be placed in a regular middle school environment.

We did move out of state even before our CPS case was closed. (We knew we couldn't stay where we were.) We had to go through the ICPC process. Initially, we placed our son in a very expensive private school for special-needs children. We later got him evaluated for special education in the local public school. He qualified on the basis of "emotional disturbance" and other medical conditions, due to his ADD and history of seizures.

So far this has worked out very well -- better even than the private school. He's in a self-contained classroom with 4 other students. They give him the special attention he needs. When he has an emotional outburst, they do sometimes suspend him, but it is deemed to be a manifestation of his disability, so they don't send him to a disciplinary school. We're in constant communication with the teachers, so they know we're doing everything we can for his welfare. Also, he's savvy enough to be very careful what he says to guidance counselors and social workers.

So I would agree with the other posters. Get your child evaluated.

[CPSptsd]

Thanks y'all!

We have been so on the fence. Her primary problems look like some form of Reactive Attachment Disorder. One of the hallmark features of this problem is "crazy lying" and it is common for kids with this issue to lie and say they have been abused, not fed, whatever. She will lie no matter what; if you catch her with a marker and she has drawn all over the wall, and she is staring at you with marker in hand, she will swear to you that she didn't mark up the wall!

With her it is not much of a problem but there are still little things... in fact, if we believed the "little things" she says take place at school, we would have sued the school already or pulled her out. However, every time we have a talk with the school there is always a perfectly logical explanation and whatever she has told us is always a twisting of reality. For example, she recently missed a day of school because we were attending the memorial of friends who were murdered (29 year old mom and 10 year old girl, another child CPS didn't help, but that's off topic)...

Eight year old comes home telling us that the teacher is going to make her write 3 paragraphs about the memorial and why she was absent. I am livid!!! For a few minutes. Then I calm down and realize there must be more to this. Turns out the teacher is having her write paragraphs for an incident on the playground where she and another child were fighting (verbally). They both have to write letters of apology and write about why what they did was wrong.
But had we taken her on her word, we'd be raising heck with the school for making her write about the death of our friends.

Other times she tells us she wasn't allowed to finish her lunch, wasn't taught the math lesson. Whatever. And last year she had the school nurse in a hissy because she was telling everyone in her class that she had lice... and she did NOT have lice! So you see what I mean about having to take what she says with a grain of salt. I just know that others who have just met her won't know that.

Anyway our difficulty has been in locating a therapist who can help with her very specific issues, not be "snowed" by her charm, and who isn't going to run to CPS for something that was just misunderstood... but thanks for y'alls responses. I am looking hard at finding an appropriate professional here to evaluate and diagnose her. We are also considering applying for disability for her; she should qualify and payments would help pay for specialized therapy because many of the experts in this field don't take much in the way of insurance... or if private school WAS needed it could help with that too.

So we're going to go for it; she needs more help than we can provide, we've been trying to "love it out of her" and trying to parent her like a healthy child just hasn't worked.

[Beatthescammers]

The confusion over the teacher's assignment might be related to a central auditory processing disorder. With this disorder, the child incorrectly interprets interactions/instructions. Perhaps the teacher needs to write down her requests so your child can correctly respond. Gather some information about central auditory processing disorders and see if these symptoms fit your child:
http://www.ldanatl.org/aboutld/parents/ ... entral.asp

Here are some of the common behaviors displayed by children who have Central Auditory Processing Disorders:

Don’t respond to speech in a consistent fashion

Frequently ask for words to be repeated

Difficulty following speech in noisy surroundings

Frequently misunderstand what is said

Difficulty following long directions

Poor memory for verbal information

(There may come a point where you need to teach your child that if she is compelled to lie and can't control it, then she should tell positive lies. For example: Instead of lying about lice to get extra attention, a lie about owning a beautiful, shimmery race horse that she can ride anytime she wants will get an equal amount of attention and won't get her into serious trouble with CPS, the school administration, or the police. Yes, lying is wrong and shouldn't be encouraged, but with RAD kids, lying frequently can't be controlled, so teach them to tell positive lies that will not get them placed into foster care or jail. As a psych nurse, I worked with a RAD patient who sought attention with stories that she had been raped, but she had never been raped (she experienced neglect as a child, but not sexual abuse). With lots of encouragement, she finally learned to lie about positive things instead and hopefully, she will someday learn to completely control her compulsion to lie .)