HELP! Non-custodial parent and step dad

[lovelife1121]

Ok.... I will try to make this story as short as possible, "try" is the key word. I mother of 3 beautiful children 1 girl and 2 boys ended up in a desperate attempt to help my daughter when confronted with possible molestation by a friend of my ex husband (the custodial parent) was forced to call CPS in an effort to have my daughter's voice be heard after finding the police to be of no help and my ex stating "Oh, well that happened a long time ago". It sadly turned out that my daughter was also being raped by a different man whom my ex also knew and my daughter tried to tell him about that as well. Well now the tables have turned onto me somehow because my current husband has a violent criminal past history and so CPS will not place my kids with us. I am now also finding out that CPS is showing favor to my ex because he is the custodial parent. What do I do now in addition to just jumping through the hoops? I do not feel that my children should be placed back in his home, SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ! P.S. - CA case

[Eljay]

Let me get this right.... your daughter has been raped by one man and possibly molested by another. She can articulate this and identify the perpetrators. The police have been told this and do nothing? What police dept is this and do either of these guys work for them?

[lovelife1121]

No one knew about the rape but the police were not much help in investigating further the molester or arresting him until CPS stepped in. If anyone can PLEASE give me any advice this custodial parent favoritism is killing me.

[Eljay]

I'm really ignorant to the whole custody thing, be it joint, custodial, legal, partial, non-custodial, or whatever. I don't think any of that matters for you though... CPS is NEVER going to place a child with a convicted violent offender and you seem to know that, so you would rather have your children placed in foster care, away from both of you? Is that what you're looking to achieve?

CPS looks for "low hanging fruit" of abuse, neglect or failure to protect. If he knew of the molestation and/or rape, didn't report it, didn't seek help once he knew (either medical or psychological), put her back in a situation where it could happen again, then that's what they will go after. What is your ex's perspective on the molestation/rape?

[lovelife1121]

For one I am NOT looking for them to stay with ANY foster ANYTHING. My husband has NEVER been a threat to my children that is my point I have been married to him for six years. CPS doesn't even seam to be making an issue out of my EX husband's VERY poor decisions anymore now their all focused on my current husbands PAST history eventhough we have both been clean for almost a decade and he is a changed man. I need some ideas PLEASE.

[Eljay]

Just so you know, CPS's perspective is likely going to be that YOU are the one making bad decisions because you're married to a violent offender. I had several caseworkers say that they usually don't see mothers protecting their children, that they put their husbands/boyfriends first so their guard will be up.

What were your ex's actions that put your daughter at risk? By trying to get the kids removed from their father, you are putting them at risk of going into foster care (unless there is a family member that can take them). I know we're not talking about false accusations, but read this... it might give you a perspective on the process/situation:

http://www.fathersmanifesto.net/armin.htm

[lovelife1121]

Well I'm NOT giving up, that's what a good mom is suppose to do protect her children and never give up on them.