CPS Nightmare

[muskateers1girl]

Hi everyone, im new to this site and i would love to hear all responses anyone might have for me. On November 26, 2011 i came home from work and saw a bruise on my youngest son's cheek and another small bruise on his chest. I asked my husband what had happened and he didn't know hiw our son got the bruises. We argued about it and i was upset. Next morning i called my mother in law sent her pictures of the bruises and my father in law told me to call CPS and that if i didn't call he would call them. So i got off the phone and called CPS hotline. I told them about the bruises abd the response my husband had given me. I also said that i was calling because my inlaws threaten to call if i didn't call. To make long story short a CPS Caseworker came by our house December 2, 2011 at 12pm. He questioned me and my husband, questioned our oldest son, he saw that the boys were fine, sent us to get drug test done. We did and both of us were negative. On December 3,2011 at 2am another CPS CASESWORKER knocks on our door and there's 2 cops by his side. He was there to remove our boys. It's now been a month and 10 days no arrest has been made and no charges filed.

[family_man]

From what you said in your post (and didn't say), I assume that your child is too young to tell you how he got the bruises, correct? I also assume that you had left him in the care of your husband while your were at work, and that when you got home, he didn't know what happened. Correct?

If this is how it happened, then the only real mystery why you would want to advertise this accident to your in-laws and to CPS. What good did you expect to come out of it? Did you expect CPS to come in and somehow make your home safer? They have virtually no funding to actually make families safer. The only "service" they always have plenty of money for is foster and adoption placement. Unless you know the bruises were intentionally inflicted, you should have cared for him as best as you could until they cleared on their own.

Anyway, the damage is done and you're in their system now. You and your husband are now assumed to be guilty of child abuse by CPS. For the "safety" of your child, they will make you jump through lots of hoops for about a year, before they will once again allow you to have unsupervised visits. Expect child support, parenting classes, psych evals, counseling, anger management, etc. After another six months or so after that for monitoring, they might get out of your lives.

You could argue that child abuse didn't occur. However, since you took pictures (another mistake), and depending on how severe the bruises were, you probably won't convince a judge you were innocent. Sorry for the bad news, but I'm doing my best to tell you what I think will happen. Some of the things I write here are for the benefit of other parents who discover accidental bruises on their children.

[Daruma]

Hi, and welcome to the forum. People might be able to be more helpful if you don't mind answering a few questions.

How old are your kids? I take it the one with the bruises wasn't old enough to explain how he got them.

Why did your FIL want you to call CPS? Does your husband have a history of anger or violence? I'm guessing that he does, since your first instinct was to blame him for the bruises instead of assuming they were just an accident.

Have you been given a case plan? Have you signed anything yet? (If you haven't signed anything, I strongly suggest that you not do so until you've had a chance to familiarize yourself with some of the information on this website about your rights and the entire dependency process. EDIT TO ADD: At this stage of the game, going along with a case plan seems inevitable. However, I would still recommend that you familiarize yourself with the CPS/depedency system first, so you're careful not to sign something you'll regret, if you have any choice.)

[Eljay]

What surprises me is that they took both/all of your kids from MOM! You clearly acted to protect, didn't brush aside the issue, sought help and called CPS. As family_man pointed out, they're only going to get the big bucks rolling in when they put the kids in foster care, but you, mom, have to fight to get the boys back home with you. Dad can move out and live with his parents or the kids could be placed with family members, but foster care is horrible! Of course, you didn't say they're in foster care, but didn't state they were with relatives. Are they in foster care?

Did they actually have a warrant? Were you notified of a dependency hearing? Have you been to court yet?

[muskateers1girl]

My boys are 4 1/2 yrs old, 3 yr old and my almost 2 yr old. I honestly don't know why my FIL would tell me to call but i've never been involved with the law and it scared me when he threaten to call them. I was mad at my husband that day and seeing the bruises on my youngest made my anger worse. I wish i wouldn't have called my inlaws and would've calm down before doing things out of anger. Now we have to deal with the fact that our kids are elsewhere and they're not really being protected. I just want this nightmare to be over soon and to have my family back together.

[muskateers1girl]

When CPS showed up in the middle of the night to remove them my husband told them that he would leave but for them to please not take them and let them stay home with me. We begged but didn't matter they still took them. Yes, they're all in foster homes. My oldest is not placed with the 2 youngest. CPS is taking their sweet time to check family members backgrounds. We've had our first court hearing December 15th, 2011 and our next court date is next week, January 19th. My biggest concern right now is that our oldest son keeps saying that he's being mistreated and nothing is being done to get him out of where he's at. I've called family advocacy center and told them what my son is telling us and called our lawyers and told them as well but no one seems to care. Nothing is being done and im frustrated that i can't help him :'( All this is driving me crazy.

[Eljay]

Do you have a copy of the CPS detention petition from the 12/15 hearing? If so, what did they allege against YOU and how can you fight it to get the boys back? That's what you need to focus on. You need to do a corrections/objections (see fightcps.com homepage for more) and then ask that the kids be placed back home with you.

Also, did you call your child's attorney/GAL to tell them he's being abused? Don't call it 'mistreatment' ... if they are going to hypercategorize everything, then play by the same rules... he's being verbally abused or neglected or whatever. Also make sure that you communicate everything in writing and include copies of your letters w/your hearing on the 19th. Write a letter stating "on this date, boy1 told me this/that. On this date, I called you, you, you, etc.. As of date, my son has not been removed from the abusive situation. My expectation is ____"

The genuinely abusive parents just get shuffled along through the system, never speaking up and defending themselves for fear of being found out. You have every right to speak up and get your story out there.

[family_man]

This is another example of why the entire CPS system needs reform. Parents should be considered innocent until proven guilty, not the other way around. There are far more cases of accidental injury than intentional abuse (which is how it is defined.) Yet, when no clear cause of the injury is known, CPS leaps to the conclusion someone is guilty of abuse, breaks the family apart, and causes far more trauma to the children than the original accident.

This is how CPS typically operates. Both parents are considered to be guilty if it is unclear how or when the injury occurred. Now if the father were to come forward and admit to abuse, then CPS would probably let the children come back and live with you, the mother. But that would open the door to possible criminal prosecution of the father, and would make it more difficult for him to ever be reunited, so don't do it. Maybe if the two of you could come up with a plausible scenario for how the accident happened, it would convice CPS or the judge that it was truly accidental and not abuse. I'm not too optimistic though, since at these initial hearings, the parents rarely get to speak.

[muskateers1girl]

Well everyone, yesterday before our visit with the boys our case manager called me to tell me that my son was taken to the hospital January 12, 2012 at night because he had cut his finger and had to get stitches, 4 stitches on his left thumb. I asked how it happened and she had no answer for us at the time. I told her i wanted my son out of that home and place somewhere else. This happened to my oldest son. It's not the first time he gets hurt in the home he's in and im not sitting back waiting to see what else is next. All my case manager said was "kids will be kids and you can't expect them not to have any bruises, cuts, or bumps" not an excuse for what happened to him. Under our care he was never taken to the hospital for any stitches or serious injuries. Seems like our case manager is defending the foster parent and all we want is our son out of there before something else happens. We tried contacting his guidence ad litem but he told us he couldn't talk to us and that our lawyers had to contact him. We tried reaching our lawyers and no luck so in desperation we left a voicemail for the judge that will be seeing us on January 19th, 2012 and miraculously my lawyer emails me asking me what was going on. I had to do something and im not gonna stop until my son gets removed from the lady he's with.

[Eljay]

All my case manager said was "kids will be kids and you can't expect them not to have any bruises, cuts, or bumps" not an excuse for what happened to him.

Un-friggin-believable. Soooo.... by HER logic, then there is NOTHING wrong with the bruises that started all of this! You need to transcribe what she said and send it to the judge and her supervisor via certified mail, because by that logic, he might as well be at home getting normal everyday bruises!

[Daruma]

All my case manager said was "kids will be kids and you can't expect them not to have any bruises, cuts, or bumps"

This is a good reason to either record as much of your communication as possible (within the limits of state and federal law) or to do it by email. That way you always have a record of stuff like this. And please don't forget your case notebook.

[muskateers1girl]

I try and document everything that's happening and everythingmy case manager tells me. I also print out all the emails i sent and receive just for our protection. And i always take the notes and emails with me whenever we have to go to court. Can anyone answer a question for me? If CPS put that their plan and goal is to reunify the family by June 3, 2012 does it usually happen or does it take longer than that? My husband will be done with his classes March 21st and I'll be done with mine on April 5th.

[monkette31]

They might give your children back at the 6 mos. hearing, as long as you bow down to them, admit you abused your child or failed to protect your child and go along with the system, which includes finishing the caseplan and only if your caseworker can't find a way to keep them longer.

I'm sorry you and your children have to go through this. You didn't know CPS is a snake pit...cps will do anything to keep your children longer, I know, they shouldn't have been taken in the first place, but now you know, this CPS agencies across the nation are nothing but child stealing socialist agencies.

[monkette31]

that's why I'm here, cause they are scum that need to be eradicated....i also know what it's like to witness the abuse that foster homes do. If you feel the need to report the abuse, call their own hotline child abuse line and report the injury. This MIGHT do something, it might make them pissed at you because CPS thinks they are the god almighty, nothing that they do is wrong.

Out here in Southern California, DCFS recently enacted a policy whereas ANY CHILD CURRENTLY IN FOSTER CARE, are now UNREPORTABLE to child abuse hotline. Instead of initiating an INVESTIGATION of abuse, they simply report whatever to the case carrying caseworker, which we all know from experience, NOTHING is ever done....so CPS allows children in their care to be abused. FOSTER children are not protected and unreportable.

You can also call the community care licensing board (that's what it's called out here) to report it. These are the people that investigate and license foster homes, completely separate from CPS, at least out here. What state/county you in? might be able to dig up the link for you.

[family_man]

It's good that they gave you a date for reunification. Usually they don't do that, and keep stringing you along. Also note that "reunify" and "return of custody" are two different things. Reunification means letting your children live with you again, while your family is being closely monitored by CPS. If you slip up in any little way in their eyes, it's back to foster care.

[muskateers1girl]

Does anyone know what reason or excuse does CPS need to have in order to cut my children's hair? All of our 3 boys have beautiful curly hair and our case manager keeps asking us to agree to cut their hair. Yesterday she asked again and we told her NO, she said that she would give it couple more tries then she would bring the subject up to the board. What reason does she need to give the board in order for her to get an order to cut their hair. I hope that laziness is not count as an excuse.

[good dad]

It maybe the workers way of showing how "uncooperative" you are with the agency.... You can't even work out hair cuts for the kids... I'm not saying you should but caseworkers find some little thing that worked in one case and begin applying it to every case as a way to show parents in a bad way..

Caseworkers are creatures of habit, they have a pattern...

[family_man]

A haircut is such a little thing, in my opinion, that it's not worth the battle. Save your ammunition for the abuse they may be receiving in foster care, or for the potentially harmful psychotropic medications CPS may force on your children. Those are battles worth fighting.

[monkette31]

I heard from one set of foster parents that they are trained NOT to cut the kids hair...but they end up cutting their hair anyway without any repercussions. all my protests about it were ignored or just plain sluffed off. Most of the time when they want to cut it, it is to make it easier for themselves.

They'll probably make something up like they have lice and had to do it. If they have to spend any more than one minute caring for their hair, they will cut it off.

[muskateers1girl]

Does anyone know of a good defense lawyer in Arizona?

[Eljay]

Go to the homepage: http://www.fightcps.com and look for the "lawyers" link on the right side. On that page, press "ctrl + F" to activate the find feature, then type in "arizona" and use the arrow keys to find the referrals left by others.

[muskateers1girl]

I have an update on our case, the case plan currently is they want to take away my husbands parental rights completely , the plan for me is family reunification concurrent with severance of parental rights as well , in order for me to receive my children back i'm being told by cps that i must divorce him and move out or he move out and be done completely yet it has not been court ordered for me to do such a thing, last week we were told that my husband could not be in the delivery room once our baby girl is born in april , and we were under the impression that this is what the judge wanted as well , yet when we went to court the judge stated that how we decide to handle that is up to us and she has no say in that , pretty much telling us that we were being lied to by cps and our lawyers , i understand that court given attorneys are somewhat friends with the cps lawyers as well and cps themselves , my concern is if i stay with my husband and fight with him to keep from having his rights canceled they will want to do the same for me , there primary motive for doing so is due to his past , yet when they ask me if anything has ever happened to the kids before this incident and the answer is no , to take away his rights over his past i think is wrong , they want me to divorce him and pretty much raise the kids without there father , i have three boys and a little girl on the way , all with him , I advised the judge that i would divorce him and move out and the next day the cps case worker called wanting to be my best friend and trying to be supportive when she was never that way to begin with. Everyone states that there gonna try and build there case even more on him through me , i want to stand and fight with my husband because i know he is a good father and our children need him as well as me , am i wrong in thinking that this is just one of the cps games to get us separated and turn us against one another in court. Any advice would help alot. I'm also told that if both of our rights are canceled and they are put up for adoption they look at family first as far as adoption goes. Is this true? Should i fight cps or should i go along with it and divorce him and let him fight his case alone.

[monkette31]

If you don't want to divorce your husband, then don't! Were you thinking of divorcing him prior to all this happening? Also, what past history does your husband have that is making cps so adamant in destroying your family?

http://www.squidoo.com/divorce-separati ... rvices-cps

Also, if you are asking or depending on cps telling you what to do, they are never going to help you, stop listening to them, I believe that your legal plans should be kept between you and the lawyers, too often I see cps clients referring and asking the social workers about plans, etcetera, only to get the absolute worst advice from them or at minimum, they use their clients loose mouths to solidify their screwed up reports.

[muskateers1girl]

In 2000 my husband had a son who passed from shaken baby syndrome , yet while with that woman she had left 1 week into the child being born , when the child was two months old she returned , for some reason that day she left and went to store and left the child with my husband and the child stopped breathing, my husband dialed 911, after autopsy report it showed the child had been consistently beaten since birth, but yet since my husband was the last one with him automatically the fingers are pointed at him. He then had a daughter with the same woman a year later , a little girl , same scenario , she got upset and left with the child , and returned this time when the child was approximately 4 mths old , same thing , she left for the store and child stopped breathing, after autopsy she was found with fluid in her lungs and was pronounced death from pneumonia , but since each of our three boys has been born nothing remotely close to these things has happened , i know him and he is a good man, husband and father. And if i felt he was a threat to our children i would'nt have married him nor had going on our 4th child with him. My husband did not get charged in either case , yet he is the one there blaming and that is there sole reason there stating for wanting to terminate his parental rights. I was not with him at that time so i cant speak for what went on but i do know him now and how he is with the children we have and i see no issues. I understand there concern with his past but to terminate his rights based on it is wrong especially considering our son had a bruise that everyday toddlers get and we could not explain. Yet when at visits we see similar if not worse bruises and we never get explanations on it. Im finding more info leaning towards that now that they want to terminate his rights that they are going to and planning on building a case on him through me. And they wont let me go stay with my parents and there reasoning is that they are undocumented. But when i think about it so am i. Whats going to happen when they terminate his rights and i'm undocumented. Is it a plan for them to get him out the picture cause he is the US citizen and im not. Im completely confused. I want to stand and fight with my husband but im afraid of the consequences if i do. Im told if i stand by him they will come after me just as hard. There stating that im not protecting the children by being with him. And my response to that is they don't need protecting from him , he is there father and has never hurt them or mistreated them. They constantly ask for him now that our visits are split. If a parent was neglecting a child and that parent went around that child it would clearly show.

[noroses4u2c]

Your primary focus needs to be getting your child back. If you manage to do this (most parents are never given their children back), as soon as the case is closed move out of the state with your child. Do not let your in-laws know where you moved at all.

You need to research what happened in your husband's past on your own and get information about it.

Don't give any information to CPS workers. They don't like returning to children to any parent usually. They will smile up in your face talking about reunification while working up reports to prevent it from happening. You cannot trust a thing that comes out of their mouths.