scandelous case!

[desireesmommy]

Hello i am new to the site and i keep reading posts to compare or seekadvice and nothing compares. I am a single mother turning 20 this april, i have a 2 yr old precious baby that was removed from my custody Valevtines day of 2011. what happend was i came home from work on night and my daughter was in the care of the bf (not daddy) and i noticed she had bruises on her. i didnt think much. the following morning i was attemping to put a sweater on her because it was cold and she got fussy and yanked her arm down immediantly........ i felt her arm and noticed tightness in her upper arm. i told him to keep a eye on her and that i was going to schedule a docotr appt for her on my first break at work. i wasnt able to get her in to her primary till the next day at 430pm. so i proceeded. at this time im 19 yrs old this was the first time i ever lived alone with my child i raised her when i lived with my mom and i recently moved out of her house 2 months prior. the docotrs office didnt let me leave and i began to panic as i was introuced to 2 sherriffs as the documented what happened and proceeded to transport my child and i to the station to meet with the ER CPS wrker. we were then trasported to a local childrens hospital and after several hours discovered my 15mnth old at the time had a broken arm with multiple bodily bruises. this breaks my heart just to type i was mortified when i seen this my poor baby and my dumass didnt think much of the time because she wasnt fussy. this became an immediate investigation i was told on top of all this she picked up MRSA at the hospital in her nose? WTF! then im told by a team of doctors that my story doesnt match her injuries?! WTFFFF i was telling what i was told what happend. my bf told me a book shelf used as a shoe shelf had fallen on my 25lb child causing the spiral fracture to her arm. of course i gave his info and said miute by minute tha i recalled. i had a immeditate court hearing and was never offered court services to begin with but because htere was marajuana in my system and previous police calls between myself and my childs father i knew the classes i had to take and i jumped into them ASAP.. being in "love" i was in denial that this man hurt my child he taught her how to walk she called him daddy so for about 7 months i stuck with my classes a refused to believ that he did not harm her. because of this in september both of us were charged with felony willfull harm and child endangerment. 4 yrs probaton and 144 days of comm service and his was the same but included 52weeks of child endangerment. so i snapped out of my little wanna be fairy tell because every time i went to court i dug my self in a bigger hole by thinking i knew my ways around the system bullshit everytime i went to court they didnt wnt to see my certificates my clean tests because i didnt have a safe enviroment. my mother which was a safe enviroment relapsed on methand was in county jail for 5 days and to protect my ass i had to report htat here i am AGAIN living with the bf mother because i didnt have no where to go mind u this is 9 mnths of my child being in foster care. every on e of my visits my child look bigger and i miss her with all my heart and i wish i wasnt so stubborn to begin with. ive completed vicitms to domestic violence, parenting, and about to graduate a year long substance abuse family preservation program. evry visit my daughter runs up to tells me she loves me and it breaks my heart to know my immature ass let her down. we have a irreplacable bond! i now live in a sober living home seperate from ALL my past and i take all i can to her visits new clothes diapers toys and food. to read my last CPS report to discover that CPS is a setup to begin with. it doesnt matter if i was learning how to leave a abusive relationship and desaling witha addiction and that im a completly changed person now there recommended termination of parental rights with a closed adoption meaning i might never see my child again!WTF my whole family is living on the other side of the state and i have NO ONE out here to help my i feel like a dog trying to chase its tell ive completed these services with out being askedi left the bf but i left him late in my case which really affected it but they still twisted my report putting nothing positive about my visits putting that she slaps me and gets mad at me wen in reality she throws a fit a screams wen its time to leave and asks if she can come home with my i will load a pic of us and i need all advice i know ive messed up but i have no priors on anything not even previous cps calls and i dont want to loosemy child forever over one idiot i chose to leave late!

mommy n baby.jpg (14.53 KiB) Viewed 3238 times

this is my beatiful little girl i cant explain the depression i go threw knowing all that i might loose i still attend my familly preservation classes and expect to graduate in march from the program and my atty is filling against the adpotion but if anyone can help it means the WORLD!

[good dad]

Hi desireesmommy

Welcome to the site

because of this in september both of us were charged with felony willfull harm and child endangerment. 4 yrs probaton and 144 days of comm service

Was this in Criminal court? If so, Did you plead guilty or were you found guilty by a jury?
Are you still working?

When is your next court date?

Tim

[LindaJM]

It sounds like you're on the right track now. Don't relapse!! Gather your evidence that you've complied with all service plan requirements. Get as much in writing as possible to show that you're doing what was asked... this can be used as evidence in court.

[monkette31]

yes, what's the name of the next court date and when is it? What state / county are you in? How old is your daughter?...im in southern cal, usually they first Terminate Re-unification AND then there is a mandatory 120 days between that termination and the Termination of Parental Rights. between this time, visits can still occur....so you do have LOTS OF TIME TO STAY AND REMAIN CLEAN AND SOBER!...and it does matter.....

[family_man]

Your current living arrangement is what CPS seems to be complaining about right now. You made the following two statements about that:

i now live in a sober living home seperate from ALL my past

i had to report htat here i am AGAIN living with the bf mother because i didnt have no where to go

Are you still living with your ex-bf's mother? If so, that won't be perceived by CPS to be a stable living arrangement, since that mother is not related to your daughter. It won't be long before that mother kicks you out. I think what is needed the most is for you to establish your own place to live, and the means to maintain it and the support your daughter. If you've already done this, and you have written evidence that you completed everything on your court-ordered case plan, then you shouldn't be terminated. You should have an attorney to represent you at your TPR trial. If you can't afford one, an attorney will be assigned by the court. What does your attorney say about the upcoming TPR trial?

My whole family is living on the other side of the state and i have NO ONE out here to help

If you can't afford your own place, why don't you propose to move in with a willing family member on the other side of the state? This might convince CPS that you have a viable plan to suuport your daughter. Maybe a family member would even be willing to adopt your daughter, so that CPS could close this case. Once done, that family member could let you see your daughter, and down the road maybe you could get custody back. Note that if your parental rights are involuntarily terminated at a TPR trial, this becomes grounds to terminate your relationship with any future children you might have. So if you allow a family member to adopt, be sure it's recorded as a voluntary TPR.

[monkette31]

Sober livings are a good place...there are some really bad sober livings too. I'm assuming you are involved with the 12 step programs of alcholics/narcotics anonymous?

[Eljay]

One thing to consider is how you interact with them. Many social workers/caseworkers want to feel like they are saving lives (some actually are) but they took their jobs because they seriously believe that through their efforts, they will rescue children from horrible parents, save parents from drugs and jail, and more. You know that you made mistakes and I'm glad that you've come to realize it and taken the steps necessary to get your daughter back. It is very difficult to view the CPS caseworker in a positive light when he/she is the one person KEEPING you away from your baby! However... in your case, you're not dealing with false accusations so much as maybe a little overzealous caseworker, dragging this out. Did you ever want to be a movie star? Well, here's your chance to do a little acting... be grateful to the caseworker. Act as though you've had an epiphany about how badly things could have turned out had they not intervened. Thank him/her for helping you get the resources to be a better parent. Give a few hugs, shed a few tears. I believe it will get you closer to your daughter, faster than fighting them.

It's hard... it was SOOOOOOO hard for me to be kind to the caseworker who had to come for monthly check-ups. I saw him as an intrusion in our lives and wanted to take every piece of paper he gave me and shove it up his *ahem* briefcase. My husband was saying, "aww... be nice... he's just doing his job... people are probably mean to him all the time... he's not going away any time soon so just chill.... " Grrrrrrrrr. I didn't want to, but I was nice. It worked for us... he even tried to help us close our case early and gave us the tools to do it.

Another thing, there was a LOT of "THEY do things this way" from several of the people we dealt with. Everybody claimed to have very little power or authority and they claimed that things were out of their control. One of our therapists wrote "No FLU is necessary" wherein "flu" meant "follow-up." He told me that "they" would be sure to not accept the form the way the doctor wrote it and he took care of getting it corrected. So... be nice. It sucks to be in your position, but it's going to be the best card you can play to get them to work towards reunification. At least, that's MY opinion.

[desireesmommy]

TO ALL:

my next court hearing is recommended terination of parental rights and select perminate placement. i am located in riverisde county in inland empire southern california. yes it was a plea in criminal court because i could not afford my private attorney no longer to go to trial. i take one year of sobriety on feb 11 through the family preservation program and narcotics anonomous as well as alocholics anonomous. ive been here in this sober living home going on my 4th month and it has given me confidence because i know i have abadonment issues from my child hood. my attorney is planning to try and shoot for a motion 388 the same day as my hearing for termination of parental rights, request a bonding hearing, and possible apppeal this judge to the pella court which is above the juvenille court. i understand that the fact that i left the ex late in my case and moving into a sober living 7mnths later doesnt not make my case a easy fight but im willing to go however far i need to for my child i dont know what else to do anymore ive completed all my classes and im STILL facing loosing my child talk about depression!

[desireesmommy]

i cannot move up north it will violate my felony probation until i finish my community service days and anyways im not leaving without my child! she is located in moreno valley ca which is 15 min away from me..

[monkette31]

Can you try and get about 20-30 letters of referral from program people? to bring to court? I don't know, but I tend to believe some judges know about 12 step programs and believe in those processes...

What does "filing against the adoption" mean? Does that mean he is going to appeal the case or file notice of intent to appeal should the court go along with cps plans and put her up for adoption?

When exactly is your court date? just trying to see a time frame. When did they terminate your re-unification? date? Are you still visiting her?

[desireesmommy]

i was never offered reunification services, i dont have any visits scheduled i just have a court date. if the judge rules to set a closed adoption meaning my parental rights are terminated then i will have my attorney appeal the ruling for a adoption which stops the adoption process and the court above the juvinelle court will hear my case..

[Eljay]

Let me clarify... you are currently living in a sober living treatment home? If so, this means you have not secured your own living arrangements, right? I would assume that you *cannot* have a child move into the sober living house, right? (I wouldn't, even if I could!) So...... assuming that one of the requirements for reunification is that you be able to maintain a home for a child - a basic necessity - has not been met, could that possibly by why they haven't even offered reunification? Is there anyone else in your family who could foster her, to at least keep her out of the hands of strangers?

[family_man]

They're probably thinking this child has been in foster care long enough, and that she now needs permanency. They probably figure that your rehabilitation is going to take too long. I'm not agreeing with this, I'm just saying that's what they're thinking.

I like the fact that your attorney is going to oppose the TPR. I hope he takes every legal action he can to prevent it. However, if it looks hopeless, the Plan B of adoption by a family member might be a better option for you. Family members by law have an inside track on kinship adoptions. If you're on good terms with them, they'd let you see your daughter, take care of her, and maybe even regain custody of her at some point. It also wouldn't stop you from keeping future children you might have. Many babies have been taken from their mothers in the maternity room, simply because of a prior TPR.

If adoption by a family member is a possibility, you could propose that to CPS as an "alternative goal" for them to pursue. They would have to conduct a home study of the family proposing to adopt. Then if you win your TPR trial, you could keep your child. Otherwise, the adoption goes forward. It's just an alternative I'm suggesting, because involuntary TPR is a pretty terrible outcome for you.

[monkette31]

What is the date of this TPR hearing? Have you seen the baby at all? When was the last visit?

You may not know that you did have Re-unification services at a certain point. By law, in California, they are supposed to provide them for children under three for a period of 6 mos. If they took her Valentines day, the clock on re-unification starts when they detain the baby....so re-unification probably ended by law sometime in August. If DPSS told you to do something, stay sober, meetings and you had visits with baby then this was probably your re-unification period...then they probably terminated re-unification but during this in the mean time, visits are supposed to and can continue...

You really should start getting those letters from program people, it can only help. There is also a case I read online where the woman actually developed and implemented her own "treatment plan" while waiting for her TPR hearing, getting your meeting signatures, even if no longer required would also help. Have you also had any drug/alcohol tests at the sober living. I realize some sober livings are just crack homes but here in San Fernando Valley there are also some really good ones that even rival inpatient treatment. You can maybe also ask for a letter from the sober living home owner as well. What about your sponsor?

[desireesmommy]

i live ina sobriety womans home through the YWCA and CPS and children friendly. its completly safe envireoment. im already completing my treatment program and been clean for a year now on feb 11th. yes they want to keep her in the foster home verses my family but i dnt agree with it i think she should stay in the family! i dont agree with the way the foster parents are trying to raise her. they taught her only spanish she does not speak english and i dont speak spanish and she freaks out to diaper changes according to my aunt because she gets her unsuppervised visits. CPS has twisted my report by stating that my aunt said that i thought this case was a joke and that my daughter gets mad at me and slaps me in the face and she has nightmares after seeing me which is NOT true..every time i see her she cries to come home. she runs up to me and says "mommy" from a distance.. my daughter is my pride and joy and my attorneys dont like how my case was technically "set up" fromt he begining. they required i complete evertyhting within 6mnths because she under the age of 3 but then refer me to a year long substance treatment program?

[desireesmommy]

i have letters from all my program managers, have ALL clean tests that they have been testing me, i even have a letter from the judge next door to mine who is my comissioner from my drug court. i have letters from my family and friends and all my certificates for completiing parenting, victims of domestic violence, and progress certificates in my substance program as well as a safety plan for if im ever in a harmful relationship again.

[monkette31]

I think you can file a 388 petition for a hearing where you can show your circumstances have changed, you have stable housing willing to accept child, you have your meetings, certificates and all...they can modify visitation orders and plans. Has anyone told you about a 388 motion?

I was reading another case where the lawyer is going to file a 388 hearing on the same day of the TPR hearing.

[desireesmommy]

thats exactly what my attorney is doing but i have a judge and cps workers that are pro-adoption.

[Eljay]

Be careful if they ask you to do an on-the-spot drug test. We've heard from several clean people that they supposed tested dirty on the test handed to them by a CPS worker, or mouth swab admin by a CPS worker, but tested clean at an independent lab the same day. If they ask, tell them you'll be happy to do one in a real lab.

[desireesmommy]

ive seriously been clean im randomly tested in my substance program as well as the sober living home the only dirty test they have on me is the first time i seen the cps worker a year ago at the hospital a year ago. and i only had marajuana in my system.

[dabrock61attnet]

From my experience not all social workers are slime, but many are and they are trained to believe once they get a call there has to be something wrong. Not taking into account when the same people keep calling, their friends keep calling same accusations with no burden of proof. Only hearsay. I do understand they have to check things out as there are children being abused. Be cooperative, but don not give them your life story, only what is related to the accusations. If in doubt ask questions why do you ....& get back to them. They are wolves in sheep clothing, appearing to be on your side all the while brewing false asscuations to hold against you. I am one of the people that was given an instant drug screen in court and it stated that I had THC in my system. Do not agree to a drug screen unless it is peformed at a reputable lab, observed & sent in for confirmation. I am clean and subject to ramdom drug screens of which I have NEVER failed. I agreed to the one in court thinking ok again, no problem this should clear up matters. I have never been on drugs, but I have a few friends that did. It can be tough, you change your surroundings, friends, get involved with hobbies you like It can change your life for the better. I've seen it happen. I am proud of you for staying clean. Don't give up the fight, they will make things seem hopeless, but this is YOUR child that has never been abused or neglected and needs her loving mom. Do not let anyone make you feel you are worthless. We all make mistakes in life, that makes us HUMAN and hindsight is 20/20. I am so glad you found this site and wish you the best. You seem to be a beautiful person.

[desireesmommy]

THANK YOU!yes i barley turning 20 this year and i can say this whole case was a wake up call and somethign i NEVER want to experience again. buti can only imagine what my life would be like if othing would have happend? how lost i would have been.. i was told by my sponsor that God doesnt give you anything that you cant handle and its true i made it to this point when in the begining i was over whelmed and that wasnt the end of it!