Why do they even come here now?

[noroses4u2c]

I found out about one woman he killed soon after we were married. He had written out how he had killed her on some paper and I found it. He was pretty irate that I found it.

Had I been more knowledgable back then I'd have made a photocopy and snuck it back where I found it. I was still a kid though and was pretty clueless.

My daughter is a lot smarter than I was in a lot of ways. Of course, I tried teaching her the stuff I learned the hard way hoping that she wouldn't have to experience that stuff.

[noroses4u2c]

I got the report back from the foster care review board. Of course there was nothing but glowing things to say about him. Nothing good was said about me. They claimed it was obvious I was guilty of emotional abuse because I was badmouthing the father to her (but I never did!), but they never once mentioned all the multiple documented times he badmouthed me to her.

They said that I had met all my case goals but then said I failed expectations. If you do all that is demanded of you, how can you fail to meet expectations?? Either you did something or you didn't!

They praised him literally with exclaimation points.

They pointed out that I was on disability in a way that you knew they thought they looked their noses down on it.

Really ticked.

There was never any 'evidence' that I abused my daughter. It was just the word of people who also claimed my daughter was failing school when she wasn't.

[brookeycookie]

Dislike.

And what's the foster care review board? I hear people talk about it, but haven't dealt with it in my case. Is it similar to the child abuse and neglect review board?

[noroses4u2c]

I have never understood it exactly, but it is basically rigged in the direction of CPS.

[brookeycookie]

After looking it up and reading a bit, it seems alot like CASA and FST. Yuck....

[noroses4u2c]

The worker is now claiming she's been by here numerous times and I won't open the door. Other than the incident in the OP, they have not been by here to my knowledge. The worker is demanding I sign a paper stating I want no more services. Um, I never got any services. All I did was having my daughter stolen and my character assassinated. Who wants that type of service? And I sure am not going to sign anything of theirs. Nope!

[Eljay]

Are you putting your response to these allegations in writing? At least in a letter to the head of CPS, if not the court?

[noroses4u2c]

The worker told this to my lawyer.

[noroses4u2c]

I found out yesterday that my brother was indeed involved behind my daughter calling on me. He admitted it to my mother. My mother took up for him over it.

Now I have definitely lost my mother too. I have no family at all anymore.

But my daughter and brother were both behind the original lies told about me.

How am I to handle this? My daughter had told me that she had not said that stuff. I know she regrets doing it, but she still helped do this.

[Eljay]

I found out yesterday that my brother was indeed involved behind my daughter calling on me. He admitted it to my mother. My mother took up for him over it.

Now I have definitely lost my mother too. I have no family at all anymore.

But my daughter and brother were both behind the original lies told about me.

How am I to handle this? My daughter had told me that she had not said that stuff. I know she regrets doing it, but she still helped do this.

Does your brother know how abusive your ex is/was? Does he realize the risk he's put his niece in?

There are members of our family who have been outcast for good reason... it happens. You can't pick your family. Find some new friends in a new place and wait patiently for your daughter to come of age... I know she'll come around! She sounds too smart to be brainwashed!

[noroses4u2c]

My brother knows how he is, but my brother is not very decent either. He served time for raping someone and his ex gf accussed him of rape also. I didn't ever want my daughter around him unless someone else was present. I don't trust him.

All they cared about is that she was my daughter and that she is 'black'. Most of my family wanted me to abort her when I was pregnant with her. I refused to do so and never considered it.

My brother had been undermining my relationship with her for years. He had even been telling her I had been giving her chores to do because I just wanted her to be my slave and that was the only reason I had her. She told me about it later and does not even ask about him anymore. I think she is very angry at him and still trying to process it all.

When I grew up, kids had chores. I considered it something important for her to learn responsibility. To everyone else it seems to be child abuse.

I miss when my daughter was able to sneak and call me. They have restrictions on her now since December. She isn't even allowed on the internet at school. None of her friends have heard from her.

I feel lost with nowhere to go. I don't know what to do anymore. My whole life was taking care of my daughter.

[Eljay]

You've got to work on a getting prepared for her return. You know she'll be back. She'll figure out a way.

Chores are SOOOOOOOOO completely normal, nay... NECESSARY for normal childhood! Could you imagine sending an 18 yr old into the world who didn't know how to push a broom, wash a dish, make a meal? Well, if you're fabulously wealthy, that's okay, but here in the real world, it's neglectful to NOT have them do chores!

[noroses4u2c]

You've got to work on a getting prepared for her return. You know she'll be back. She'll figure out a way.

Chores are SOOOOOOOOO completely normal, nay... NECESSARY for normal childhood! Could you imagine sending an 18 yr old into the world who didn't know how to push a broom, wash a dish, make a meal? Well, if you're fabulously wealthy, that's okay, but here in the real world, it's neglectful to NOT have them do chores!

My family told her that I only had her do chores because she is black and I saw her as my slave. It is so crazy.

[monkette31]

i'm more of a brown myself, depends on the season. In the summer I turn a golden brown if outdoors and in the winter, slightly pasty. I bet you will hear from her soon!

[Eljay]

My family told her that I only had her do chores because she is black and I saw her as my slave. It is so crazy.

Well, in that case, I guess I have white slaves! Well, not quite, one white, one light brown (same parents, different traits!).

[monkette31]

oh yeah?...well I got me some little american indian children slaves! those are the best!...

[noroses4u2c]

And the government was using the fact I expected her to do chores to help prove I was a racist.

But my daughter was expected to do chores in the foster home.

[Eljay]

And the government was using the fact I expected her to do chores to help prove I was a racist.

Are you effing kidding me????? How in the world did they state that in the petition?

And.... Since when do racists have no parental rights??? Even those people from PA who named their son "Adolph Hitler" only lost the kids due to their domestic violence history. Just kidding, sort of, but how could they possibly go there?

But my daughter was expected to do chores in the foster home.

You have seen this guy, right? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU

[monkette31]

i don't even have to click that link to know it's that guy in texas with the notebook right? great one!

[noroses4u2c]

And the government was using the fact I expected her to do chores to help prove I was a racist.

Are you effing kidding me????? How in the world did they state that in the petition?

And.... Since when do racists have no parental rights??? Even those people from PA who named their son "Adolph Hitler" only lost the kids due to their domestic violence history. Just kidding, sort of, but how could they possibly go there?

But my daughter was expected to do chores in the foster home.

You have seen this guy, right? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU

They didn't put it in the petition to remove her. They used that in verbal arguments against me both in court and the foster care review board hearings to argue why I shouldn't have her back.

The head of the foster care review board meeting did submit a document about two months prior to the home visits starting that my daughter was enjoying home visits with her mother and talking about how my daughter needed therapy to deal with her "cultural issues" (since I am white and could not possibly raise a black child properly). They referred to my daughter as black all the time and ignored that she was half white. The foster parents even had her out in the sun as much as possible to darken her skin so she'd look more black.

One of the workers even said my daughter should be in a black home to preserve her black culture and was insinuating that I was abusing her by not raising her in a black home. Since I am not black, it is impossible for me to raise her in a black home. It was therefore, by their arguments, impossible for me to raise her without abusing her.

Their arguments can be used to remove any bi-racial child from any white mother since the white mothers could never stop being white.

[brookeycookie]

Good Gawd, they're frickn* satin and hitler all rolled up. Sorry, that just made my head explode.







(* fixed it for ya. Eljay)

[brookeycookie]

Ugh, sorry for the F-bomb. And the spelling error. I was typing with my head exploding and couldn't see.

[Eljay]

BTW, Tommy Jordan, the dad in the aforementioned video, posted a response to Dr. Phil's negative commentary on Tommy's parenting:

http://8minutesoffame.com/response-to-dr-phil/

Anyway, Dr Phil then agrees with Mr Lauer and says “Just because their parents humiliated him publicly; doesn’t make it right for him to do it. What we want to do is carry forward the legacies that are good, not the legacies where our parents made mistakes.”

What gives you the self-righteous audacity to assume my mother and father made mistakes raising me, or that any mother and father who spanks their kids, or publicly reprimands their kids, are making mistakes? I’m extremely proud of the fact that my parents raised me to say Ma’am to every lady I meet, Sir to every man I deal with, regardless of age, to stand when a lady comes to the dinner table, to take my hat off when I walk into a building, to open a door for any lady, young or old.

I say “yes ma’am” to my 15 year old daughter and “yes,sir” to my eight year old son because it was ingrained into me from the time I could form words! Do you know how they got that through the thick head of a teenager when that teenager was me? My mother verbally corrected me most of the time, or called me down for it, but my father (and man I can still feel it today, twenty year later) had this unique ability to simply flick me on the back of the head with his finger in such a manner as to make me think my bell had just thoroughly been rung! It left no long-lasting neurological damage (or maybe that’s why I stutter?) and had no effects to the negative except that when I forgot to open the door for a lady I instinctively cringed waiting for it to land… ooh I hated that. But you know what? I learned quickly and effectively and neither of them had to “hurt” me or “emotionally damage” me to get it through my rather-thick skull.

[Eljay]

Wow noroses... just unreal! And that had NOTHING to do with your case, obviously!!!!!!! Following that logic, every child should be raised by black parents because clearly, skin color is the most important factor in raising healthy, normal children!

Ughhhhhh!

[noroses4u2c]

Wow noroses... just unreal! And that had NOTHING to do with your case, obviously!!!!!!! Following that logic, every child should be raised by black parents because clearly, skin color is the most important factor in raising healthy, normal children!

Ughhhhhh!

Yeah, and every time I pointed out the racist stuff they were doing, they would twist it as more evidence of my 'racism' and more proof that she needed to be in a black home.