Can someone link me? *HELP*

[Homeschoolmom7]

Today is the day! CPS has an appt. to come over to interview everyone at 11am...I've never felt more sick
Question...Not long ago I ran across a link (I believe) for a little statement on a card that you could print out. It basically is given to your child and when CPS takes them for questioning they will read it and it says something along the line of "My name is _________ and I will only consent to answering your questions with my parents present" Or something like that..
1) Does this really work if presented to CPS by the child?
2) Can someone link me please?

[Eljay]

Honey.... I think you're overreacting. They've got to complete their investigation. People who abuse their kids do NOT want the kids talking to strangers, especially investigators, because the kids might confess that mom/dad are abusing them. If a parent is there in the room, giving them the stink eye, intimidating them, then they are not going to tell the truth. Keep in mind that there are REAL abused kids and the parents are going to do EVERYTHING to keep the kids away from investigators and/or prevent them from being interviewed alone. How is CPS going to discern YOU from abusive parents who are threatening/intimidating/brainwashing their kids? You do NOT want to look like that because CPS will just get a court order to take the kids for an interview and they'll make up the rest for the court order to teach you a lesson.

What you WANT to do, is manage their probing. Best case, you want to have a conversation with the SW saying that you understand their need to interview, but they must understand your need to protect. Ask if you can sit some distance BEHIND your child so that they can see you are not giving any visual signals to your child to control their responses. However, you WILL be there to (1) record the interview and (2) manage the CPS employee in terms of asking questions that only relate to the investigation at hand and/or VERY specific questions about REAL ABUSE or REAL NEGLECT. Can they ask the child whether daddy touches their private parts? SURE! But wait... "we don't say 'private parts' or any such euphemisms in this house so please phrase your question using anatomically correct terms so that there is NO confusion." Then you should get.... "Okay, does daddy touch your penis?"

Remember the comedian Paula Poundstone? She said that they used to call her private parts, "Christmas" and whoa, wasn't it scary when it came time to "open their Christmas presents." LOL (oh, I hope that was just part of her routine, and not REAL!)

In our case, at the initial interviews, we had a police officer in the room with the kid & social worker. I suggest that you do the same! If you can't get the police officer there, and they won't let you sit in, then have a family friend there. I don't let my kids go into closed rooms with strangers, EVER. I told my kids to tell the ABSOLUTE TRUTH. They *WILL* ask the kids if mom/dad told them what to say. You don't want to look like you are brainwashing them or controlling them (they will find some psych term for that and move on it). Instead, have a responsible adult there to control CPS.

[Homeschoolmom7]

Honey.... I think you're overreacting. They've got to complete their investigation. People who abuse their kids do NOT want the kids talking to strangers, especially investigators, because the kids might confess that mom/dad are abusing them. If a parent is there in the room, giving them the stink eye, intimidating them, then they are not going to tell the truth. Keep in mind that there are REAL abused kids and the parents are going to do EVERYTHING to keep the kids away from investigators and/or prevent them from being interviewed alone. How is CPS going to discern YOU from abusive parents who are threatening/intimidating/brainwashing their kids? You do NOT want to look like that because CPS will just get a court order to take the kids for an interview and they'll make up the rest for the court order to teach you a lesson.

What you WANT to do, is manage their probing. Best case, you want to have a conversation with the SW saying that you understand their need to interview, but they must understand your need to protect. Ask if you can sit some distance BEHIND your child so that they can see you are not giving any visual signals to your child to control their responses. However, you WILL be there to (1) record the interview and (2) manage the CPS employee in terms of asking questions that only relate to the investigation at hand and/or VERY specific questions about REAL ABUSE or REAL NEGLECT. Can they ask the child whether daddy touches their private parts? SURE! But wait... "we don't say 'private parts' or any such euphemisms in this house so please phrase your question using anatomically correct terms so that there is NO confusion." Then you should get.... "Okay, does daddy touch your penis?"

Remember the comedian Paula Poundstone? She said that they used to call her private parts, "Christmas" and whoa, wasn't it scary when it came time to "open their Christmas presents." LOL (oh, I hope that was just part of her routine, and not REAL!)

In our case, at the initial interviews, we had a police officer in the room with the kid & social worker. I suggest that you do the same! If you can't get the police officer there, and they won't let you sit in, then have a family friend there. I don't let my kids go into closed rooms with strangers, EVER. I told my kids to tell the ABSOLUTE TRUTH. They *WILL* ask the kids if mom/dad told them what to say. You don't want to look like you are brainwashing them or controlling them (they will find some psych term for that and move on it). Instead, have a responsible adult there to control CPS.

I am just reading this now and luckily...this is exactly what I did! I explained to the SW that she was welcome to take my kids for questioning but our family friend was going to tape the whole thing. My kids were told "it's ok" and were led into the kitchen. I stayed behind the living room wall with my other kids not in the 'interview' chair. My husband did come into the room toward the end but was a good 15 feet away, blocked by a cabinet. I'm sure I am over reacting, but I'd love to be pleasantly surprised by a good outcome:)

[fatherofthree]

Today is the day! CPS has an appt. to come over to interview everyone at 11am...I've never felt more sick
Question...Not long ago I ran across a link (I believe) for a little statement on a card that you could print out. It basically is given to your child and when CPS takes them for questioning they will read it and it says something along the line of "My name is _________ and I will only consent to answering your questions with my parents present" Or something like that..
1) Does this really work if presented to CPS by the child?
2) Can someone link me please?

You actually do not have to allow any interview. You can also be present, or have an attorney present if you so desire. Recording is also a good thing.

However, if there is enough evidence in a serious case, they will get a court order and transport the children to a child advocacy center to be interviewed.

[Homeschoolmom7]

Today is the day! CPS has an appt. to come over to interview everyone at 11am...I've never felt more sick
Question...Not long ago I ran across a link (I believe) for a little statement on a card that you could print out. It basically is given to your child and when CPS takes them for questioning they will read it and it says something along the line of "My name is _________ and I will only consent to answering your questions with my parents present" Or something like that..
1) Does this really work if presented to CPS by the child?
2) Can someone link me please?

You actually do not have to allow any interview. You can also be present, or have an attorney present if you so desire. Recording is also a good thing.

However, if there is enough evidence in a serious case, they will get a court order and transport the children to a child advocacy center to be interviewed.

There isn't enough evidence at this point....well actually at this point there isn't anything! Every one of my kids dispelled my husband as the 'slapper' and made it clear that their grandma actually was the one that had hit my son. The thing is...I never know what the limit is. I'd be happy not to allow a single interview, but I'm always afraid they will swoop in and take my kids if I don't allow it. I never know if the case is mild enough to bypass safely. Ive only ever called their bluff once and that case is apparently dismissed as unfounded...so maybe it does work! And yes, we video taped the whole thing!

[Eljay]

[quote="Homeschoolmom7"I'd be happy not to allow a single interview, but I'm always afraid they will swoop in and take my kids if I don't allow it. I never know if the case is mild enough to bypass safely. Ive only ever called their bluff once and that case is apparently dismissed as unfounded...so maybe it does work! And yes, we video taped the whole thing![/quote]

Without any evidence/investigation, they would first have to get a warrant to allow for the investigation, whether it be entry into your home and/or interviews with you, dad, kids, etc. Once they investigate, they would then get the warrant to take custody.

How did you feel about the social worker? Did she seem reasonable?

[Homeschoolmom7]

Without any evidence/investigation, they would first have to get a warrant to allow for the investigation, whether it be entry into your home and/or interviews with you, dad, kids, etc. Once they investigate, they would then get the warrant to take custody.

How did you feel about the social worker? Did she seem reasonable?

And this is why I generally haven't ever stopped them at my front porch, refusing entry and interviews. I'd rather be semi cooperative than push it too far and prompt a warrant. At least within my home I have a level of control over the interview and whole "feel" of the meeting.
As for the SW...I'm still not sure about her. She's most definitely more level headed (or perhaps just slimy enough to appear so) than our last SW in November (who was easily the worst I've seen firsthand). She seemed genuinely impressed and complemented my husband and myself on our efforts to improve the safety of our youngest kids with additional child gates, locks and alarms. She was much less belittling than a few I've come across but I found her questions that she asked my kids VERY leading. Luckily our friend that held the video recorder was quite keen on picking up her 'leading' activity and stepped in a time or two to simply tell the kids not to answer and to add that the question asked was completely irrelevant and wouldn't be answered. Overall, her approach was kinder and she had a much more approachable attitude, but I suppose we'll see if I get confirmation that my 1st case has been successfully closed as well as my new one (that she insisted would be as well).

[monkette31]

Well, this is great, they went away! Be wary of follow up calls intended to dig up more information. It sure sounds to me like they got a supervisor investigator this time. I just don't appreciate the way they tried to gestapo move into your house last week, all the pounding, police cars, man that had me very worried....!