BEATEN DOWN AND BARELY HANGING ON

[raemom]

Today was my day in court. Five weeks of spending 5 hours 6 days aweek away from my home and away from my new husband.

Cps closed their case. No saftey plan needed, no nothing. They showed up to testify and specifically told the judge the only thing my husband did wrong was bite her toes (even though it was in my presence).

Hospital staff showed and said I was cooperative when my daughter was brought in for exam. They testified, absolutely no signs of bite marks and no signs of sexual abuse, which my daughter never accused of anyway, but my husband keeps getting labeled as a "molester".

I thought this was over. The judge said he wanted the reports, and he got it. The b.d got to testify again and really went deep into lies this time. I called him a liar and almost got thrown out. BUT I havent been heard at all since the beginning of these trials. Not once has me or my husband been able to testify on our behalf.

The judge would not allow our supeaona witness testify or his becaue they were blood relatives. They have a ton of information to give to this case.

In chamber, with my the lawyers and the judge present only, the Judge said he thought my husband was a "creep"! How could he possibly do this and not be a predijuce judge as order by law and oath?

Now I have to worry that he has an opinion of my husband due to the b.d. testimony that I have to worry about.

Here it is. It was 6:30, a holiday weekend and he wanted the hell out of there so he continued the case. His docket was full until December 20 which means 5 more weeks. The only good news is that I get 2 sleepovers a night. I get to see my daughter every day of the week. I get to see her sweet innocent face asleep finally and I am going to watch her sleep allnight and let it comfort me.

She is still not allowed to be around my new husband and I was warned by the judge like I didnt get that from already. I guess I am going to have to rent another house for a couple of months.

This doesnt have anything to do with CPS anymore, so I may not post here anymore. But a warining to all that if your ex goes in and makes claims that your husband is a molester with no proof or allegation from the child it can turn into a custody case like it did mine. I have raised her on my own with no help from him for 6 six years. Finiancially either. The judge doesnt want to hear about that, just wants to hear about my husband.

Good luck to you all in your own nightmares. Its is 4:30 am and there is not relief in site for now.

New step-families, do not ever let your your husband tuck her kids into bed and tell them they love them. Do not leave them alone together much, especially if you have a b.d who is out for revenge. Please, dont ever let them play together such as biting toes or wrestling around. Just dont do it ever.

Sincerely,

Lisa Picozzi
A proud mother with a broken heart

[mouse50595]

for some reason, you story caught my eye and i actually read all the way though it, something i have been struggling for months for...do not let them put you off...it has been over a year since i have been to court...i know what it is like to have a new husband and have to keep jumping hoops for d.h.s....i have a friend here that is almost going through the same thing...her mother called dhs and pinned him as molesting his daughter, they cant prove it but they cant unprove it either...so the grandma got temp. custody of the daughter and my friend has her son but the father cant be anywhere around either of them...he has quit drinking, he didnt touch his child...but to unprove it is hard, and i dont know if i have any ideas to how to do it unless u can get the person that turned you in on tape saying that they made it up...i do hope that your daughter gets returned home to you...i know it is hard, but try to look ahead to all the time that you will have with your new family...melissa

[sabrina]

To Raemom,
You wrote, This doesn't have anything to do with CPS anymore, so I may not post again".
This have everything to do with CPS. They walked into you life, falsely accused your husband and subjected your family to a living nightmare.
We need all the support we can get. Far too many parents drop off our lists, never to be heard from again, once their child/children have been returned.
You now have information you can offer to the next unsuspecting parent who finds themself in this unbelievable situation. Most parents feel so alone, they have no place to go, nowhere to turn. Please stay with us and be there for them. Please continue to post, stay involved and help us fight this out of control system. Our strenght lies in numbers. It lies with innocent parents willing to do what ever it takes to expose the evil empire.
My only underage child was seized by CPS 13 years ago and was in state custody for 3 months. At the time, I thought 3 months was all eternity. Today he is a wonderful husband and father but I can never forget the unbearable pain and agony we went through. I need to do what it takes to make sure no other innocent family suffers the way we did.
Recently, 3 beautiful children were returned to their mother due to our endless efforts but still it's nowhere near enough.
Again, please reconsider and help us reach our goal.
My best to all, Clare

[sedwards]

hey hon dont give up the fight . And yes the love to target new familes or even ones that have been together they seem to me not to really like the family stuture at all . They tried alot with me . I was not allowed around my husband , and then they said if i was with my fiancee i couldnt have my children . And he had never done anythign . but i fought them tooth and nail . they has pulled up an old police report on my finacee which is now my husband and said he was violent.But he was never charged with a crime so they couldnt use it.And as far as the hearsay they went on that is a violation of your 6th amendamnet . they cant base a case on hearsay without proof.. Dont give up your fight . and as far as presnting your side of the case you need to do the paperwork to present your side of the case .If you would like i can give you a site to join courtwatchers and that could help you also . If you haveany questions or need any help let me know ... Just dont give up that is what they all want is all of us to give up our fight. Dont

[iowafamily]

It's been nine months of continuances for us. We're caught between two court systems with DHS goading both. My husband's criminal trial is about a month off now if they don't continue it again. We can't do anything in juvenile court until criminal is done. At times, I feel like we are walking zombies. Our hearts are broken, yet we do the best we can to keep each other's spirits up. We have managed to get both of our kids in a good placement with relatives (at first they put them with abusive, alcoholic relatives even though we protested intensely). It is now to the point that we are willing to give guardianship to the relatives who have them now in order to at least get DHS out of our kids' lives. Our whole purpose in life has become finding a way to change this system.

[raemom]

Hi everyone. Thank you for the encouragement given of my last post.

I was really feeling down. I was up all night and feeling sorry for myself and for my little girl.

I wont leave the site. This site has been great. Even though CPS cleared my husband, I know that I may be able to help someone who comes here looking for anything, anything at all to help them.

I do have a question. In an earlier post I mentioned that my ex is a bouncer for clubs. Child Advocate found him literally across the street bouncing for a strip club. He is now dating one of the strippers. I know this because of my daughter for one, and I followed them both go to work together in the same car.

Now, the horrible Grandma has left back to Texas. My daughter (who is 6) tells me that the stripper girlfriend is staying with her at nights while her dad is bouncing and that she is going to find a different job. By the way, my daughter has no idea that she is a stripper, or what a stripper does for a living and I have no intention of telling her).

I have a problem with this. It is not only bad enough that a stranger is caring for your child, but that a stripper and the word "crack head" go together. I am worried that she may be a drug user but of course I have no idea. I pray not, and it sounds great that she is going to get another job according to my daughter. However, I have legitimate reason for concern.

Can I motion the Judge in our matter to order drug testing? I have no problem doing it either. Does anyone think he would consider it since the girls a stripper and a stranger to my daughter and to me? My daughter only starting mentioning her maybe two weeks ago. This Judge is so hateful, I am scared that he may think I am just grasping at straws to make the two of them look bad. I dont. I just want to know if this stipper is going to take care of my sweet girl.

I wish you guys knew her, my daughter. She is the sweetest thing. She is surrounded by all the grown up ugliness, I hope it does not affect her terrribly.

Thanks to all

[sedwards]

What i would do is put that in the objections and corrections form. That you feel for the best interest of the child that the girlfriend that is caring for you daughter during all of this be drug tested. And as far as that goes the father also . And they can order it . Can you make them but to suggest it there is certain things you can ask for in the objections are they drug testing you , The reason i ask is i know they do test alot of the parents going thru this but not the ones thet plave the children with . And alot of the time they are the ones using .. Just wondering sedwards

[good dad]

You would have no problem getting the court to drug test the 'ex and girlfriend (yourself included). I'm totally shocked they haven't ordered it already..

[sedwards]

That is not always the case good dad. They drug tested me everytwo weeks for a while then monthly and i never done drugs. But husband which is x now after ebing released from jail and being on drugs they wouldnt test him or hid girlfriend which he ahd met in jail and were gonna place the children with him . So each case is different . And i have found alot of times if yo uhave a woman worker and your x is a charmer they dont ask them to do anything .. sad but true ..

[good dad]

getting the court to drug test

I didn't mention a caseworker.....I mean't ask the judge and the court will order it...

If raemom stated to the judge that her ex' is a bouncer at a strip club and he was dating one of the dancers and CPS placed your daughter in their care with no drug tests and she wanted "piece of mind" that her child was not around drugs usage, because that lifestyle and drug use go hand-in-hand..

A judge would probably be shocked that CPS hadn't done it already and wouldn't hesitate to grant their request..And chew CPS's asses if their tests comeback positive...

[sedwards]

This is so true .its amzing that yo uhave to ask them to test the other one that they place them with though now that amazes me. Hey and not all dancers do drugs.Some even drank coffee all nite

[good dad]

Hey and not all dancers do drugs.Some even drank coffee all nite

I don't doubt it .....But what is the judges first thought going to be? She drinks coffee all night or takes her clothes off to support her drug habit???

[sedwards]

i guess that goes in every profession there are a few honest good ones . They dont stay long though .