Family CPS callers

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AllForThisSite
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Family CPS callers

Postby AllForThisSite » Thu Dec 01, 2005 4:09 am

For those of you who've dealt with CPS because of a family member calling them on you out of spite or intimidation, how have you dealt with that? Do you still speak to that family member? Are you forced to be around them during the holidays and play nice for everyone else's sake?
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DontBiteMyNose
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Postby DontBiteMyNose » Thu Dec 01, 2005 6:24 am

I wrote ours off completely. I'm almost 40 and don't have to be around anyone I don't want to.

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Dazeemay
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Postby Dazeemay » Thu Dec 01, 2005 6:40 am

Our granddaughters wrote their uncle and aunt off. They are not my side of the family. We trusted the uncle, but he sure showed his true colors throughout our time dealing with cps.

However, your situation is quite a bit different.

For the children's sake I would be civil to them, but I would definitely let them know that you are only being civil for the child/ren's sakes and it doesn't change anything between you and them.
**********************************
This is not legal advice;hopefully wisdom

To put it in simple terms…when the authorities ARE the perpetrators and the perpetrators ARE the authorities, there is no earthly justice or recourse, at the end of the day (unless the American people wake up).

Therefore, those who have achieved the highest levels of power seek to ‘enjoy’ the most grievous and extreme injustices. For many of those in the highest circles of power, the greatest statement of power is to perpetrate the greatest possible injustice…the savage, brutal traumatization and abuse of an innocent child.
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Frustrated
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Postby Frustrated » Thu Dec 01, 2005 10:29 am

Yes, My ex-Husband always calls in to scare me, intimidate me. I NEVER SPOKE to Him directly since 7 to 8 Years. NOT ONE WORD. I use my Lawyer to speak with his Lawyer. That was about it.

BUT for my Kid's sake, they still love their Daddy, so I let the Commuication open, in the time of the Holidays. Their Daddy does not believe in Christmas and all that, since he believes in Jeovah's Witness, but he is not even baptized into it. He just follows it to show off his ego. Anyhow, they have NOT spoken for 2 years, BUT recently, they had re-started commuication together last week. First time ever since 2 years. He popped up, saying he was busy moving to another place, and things like that. He did not have the time to talk to the Kids. He just thinks of himself. He also has not paid one cent of Child Support in 2 years, and now it is $1,000 in Child Support Arrears. I don't hawk at him for it, but I asked him nicely to pay the Child Support so I can still give the Kids Sport Activities for them to do, it cost money to buy the equipments, and it cost money to feed them. I had to pay everything out of my own Pockets. I don't let him get me all upset and angry. I just move on, to the best ability I know how which is to LIVE, to have a Happy Family and all the Memories that I have with my Children. I love them with all my Heart. They are MY LIFE!

My Ex-husband uses CPS to wreck that Bond and CPS knows it. CPS knows my ex-husband well as he calls so many times, and there are other times they just let it go because CPS checks at the School and see that my Kids are just fine and healthy.

If he goes too far, I would surely get upset, and will sue him for Harrassement. Period.

I don't speak to him, ever...and that is Life. We all move on with our Lives, and do things we do every day, and try to be Happy. I do hope he does not call again, because if he does, I am suing him for Harrassement. That's it. It is the last Straw I will take.
Last edited by Frustrated on Thu Dec 01, 2005 2:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Gary Shaw
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Postby Gary Shaw » Thu Dec 01, 2005 1:33 pm

In my opinion they fell off the edge of the world. I just hope they end up in hell. All talk, but I do not have anything to do with them nor do I plan to.

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Re: Family CPS callers

Postby Momoffor » Thu Dec 01, 2005 8:29 pm

AllForThisSite wrote:Do you still speak to that family member? Are you forced to be around them during the holidays and play nice for everyone else's sake?


My in-laws have done it to me in the past. I wrote them off and have nothing to do with them. But the ones that did it to me got theirs in the end ...it all came back on them 10 fold sometime later.

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Postby Katy » Mon Dec 05, 2005 4:45 am

My sis did not call CPS bit wrote a scathing letter about me packed with lies to CPS. Not one nice thing! I haven't spoken to her in 2 years.

Regardless of how my child feels about her aunt (she is only 6 years old) I have to stay away from my vindictive sister for MY mental health! And if I don't have mental health, my daughter cannot either. My girl can pursue a relationship with with that side of the family once she turns 18. Until then I protect us both by staying the hell away!

My mom always told me to ignore bad behavior- it is the best way to extinguish it. Without ammo my sis has no way of taking the truth and twisting it into halfway believable lies- she can only make up lies that are incredible (and only CPS seems to believe them)! I hope time and my good friends will let the truth come out.

I realize it is hard to decide what to do, but if you feel they are a therat to your family then they are to be ignored. They are not family! Family loves you no matter what and tries to be helpful! And sometimes good friends are twice the family you found yourself born into. The biology of it was not your choice. I chose NO MORE ABUSIVE SISTER!!!!!! :twisted: And it hurts daily, but its the best choice for me and my gal:).

Hope all goes well with you! Katy

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scarfyrre
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Postby scarfyrre » Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:41 am

Trying to get a child removed with false accusations is unforgivable from a family member. I can't fault anyone that cut ties with that relative.

Anyone, stranger or relative, that would do something like that to a family has some important wire broken. That's just sadistic.

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Postby Frustrated » Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:26 am

I agree. It is unforgivable, and it is sure hard to forgive some one that breaks the Family Bond. A Mother and a Child Bond. When someone breaks that bond, the burden of proof is onto him or her.

I will never forgive my Ex husband for what he had done. I don't forgive my Neighbours for what they have done, by calling. I DON'T TALK to them! One day, they asked for Sugar or whatever, even asked me to watch their Kids. I said NO!

Guess what? They called CPS for that! Pure Sadistic, yes most definetely! But you know what? Who ever that was Sadistic, has severe mental problems, and it would go back to them 10 fold, twice as worse. It is the guilty conscience they will be having for rest of their Lives.

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Postby tempest » Wed Dec 07, 2005 10:38 am

I got the CPS files and found out my ex-husband's mom called to report us. We have been cleared of all charges which were "unfounded." I'm still in shock though that someone could be so evil. I'm trying to decide whether to write her off or not and if I do, how to explain to my sons.

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Frustrated
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Postby Frustrated » Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:02 pm

We usually don't tell our Children what goes on behind closed doors. We have the right to write whomever off, because they can cause some negativity. I would not want any Negativity to bring down to my Children. I want my Children to have a Positive out look, rather seeing it as "Ugly". They already know that CPS are "Ugly" and why the need to put them more through pain and anguish? I merely just don't tell them, till they get older or they asks a question. I just don't bring it up. If they noticed something is "amiss", they will ask the question. If they never asked a question, then good for you. :wink:

Move on with our Lives, is all we can do right now. We have a Future to look ahead of us and we all hope it will be a positive outlook. :D

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Postby tempest » Wed Dec 07, 2005 6:22 pm

I tried to keep the children out of it but their dad (my ex) is the one who keeps dragging them through this. HE makes it ugly. It's only natural to want to speak up to defend myself. For example, when Verizon shut the phone down for a few hours, he said to my son, "Oh I thought your mom was doing something bad...."

And yes the gramma who did the false accusations asks him "Why doesn't your mom let us talk more often or why doesn't your mom email me?" :evil:

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Postby AllForThisSite » Wed Dec 07, 2005 8:05 pm

My MIL wants me to request copies of my CPS file because she wants to know who's been responsible for making these phone calls against me and my husband. We pretty much know who's been responsible by putting two and two together but she wants solid proof. I told her there is no point in even looking at those files if she intends to do nothing about it. She says to me, "Well once I know who is for sure doing the calling, that will be the one I deal with and the one we know to be careful around." I said, "Careful around hell! I don't want that person no where near my kids OR me for that matter. If you think I'll forgive and forget you've got me pegged for a fool. If you recognize the seriousness of this situation at all you'd see that these people picked up the phone out of spite and pure meanness to call the people they damn well know are responsible for taking children away from parents. I don't find that a damn bit forgiveable or the lest bit funny I don't care how many times they say they're sorry." She agreed with me but not so much as I'd like. She looks at the situation like this: "That person might have called them but they didn't succeed at what they set out to do." I see it as this: "If the assholes don't succeed, they'll try and try again....until they do." I don't want to give them that chance. Now she wants me to get my records so she can see who called and she will surely see that 2 of her sisters, a niece, a nephew's ex-wife, and her brother's wife have called on us. If she thinks I am going to live here while she lets them parade in and out of her home and her driveway she's in for a rude awakening. I will buy a house somewhere else that way the only one's parading in and out will be the one's I allow. My husband's entire family is guilty of calling CPS on each other and it started with my husband's uncles wife. She lived in a trailor park and wreaked havoc everywhere she went because she is a mental case.....literally. She'd go from one house to the next repeating what she'd heard from the last house she visited; knew everybody's business and STAYED in everybody's business. People got mad at her and called CPS on her and not without good reason. She stayed doped up on pot and everybody knew it. So she was in the realms of losing her children when my husband's uncle met her. He tried to work with her to keep those kids but she flat told him they were her's and if she wanted a father for her kids she'd kick him out and move her ex-old man back in with her. So he shut up and stayed out of it. After she lost her kids, she started going through the family calling CPS on everybody who pissed her off that had kids. They learned how it worked...make a call, remain anonymous, sit back and watch the drama. Now the only members that have their kids are me and my husband and one other person. CPS has taken 10 kids away from this family and only 3 remain. Now if my MIL wants to stop the bullshit, she needs to actually do something with the names on that casefile and sitting back "being careful" has nothing to do with it.
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scarfyrre
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Postby scarfyrre » Thu Dec 08, 2005 8:27 am

Even if you did get your files, the information about the person that called wouldn't be included. CPS is supposed to keep reporters anonymous, and they only need to give you what they thing you need from your files.

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Frustrated
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Postby Frustrated » Thu Dec 08, 2005 9:51 am

Yes, they are not supposed to tell you who called. But I have a Trick up mysleeve, how to get her to answer in a tough position. I would tell her **** name, and see if she would catch the bait. She would either say yes or no. I keep bringing up this name ****** calls on me, next door, and she either nods or yes or no....I keep brining it up name ***** then she acknowledge, and nods. Bingo! They often folds under pressure. Get it? They would refuse to name who the Caller was, but if you keep on pressuring the name and they have to answer you yes or no. Right? They are not going to sit there stone faced and say "No comments". They are easily fold under pressure, just like they do on us. They are easily fold under distraction. For example, KIds running around the room, and she was distracted, and trying to talk to you, and you keep bringing up name ***** and she said "yes". Ha! got her. :wink:

By Law, and by their Manual, they are not supposed to disclose who the person called. But they do under aggravating circumstances, under pressure, they do respond. I have had about 6 workers total, in about 5 years, that does not include Counsellors or CPS Doctors. About 3 of them folded on me and answered Yes, and nodded yes. About 3 others, they had no comments or they sat there stoned faced and not replying to your Question. On the other Hand, Counsellors are totally different things, they do tell you who the Caller was. :roll: Because I would tell them, this ***** did this to me. She said "yeah... I see..." "Awful", "forget about him"> You see? CPS Workers and Counsellors do answer in a different perspective. And they cannot handle pressure. I do know this for a fact, because I have tried this procedure on them just like they did on us. They folded.

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kdddav
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Postby kdddav » Thu Dec 08, 2005 11:46 am

Only a court order can get those full files released, however, there is a loophole if it ever goes to criminal court, which youras wont do if unfounded.

Just for future reference.

In Criminal court, you will have access to the files CPS are using against you, because it's called "Full Disclosure" and if they deny it, they lose the trial the second they try to withhold anything. But you have to open the files with your attorney present, it's then you'll know who called. Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes they even have a transcript of the call because all of them are recorded.

You know who called on you. They don't exist anymore. If that person shows up at places for family functions, treat em like a stranger and keep your kids clear of em. If he/she asks you anything, say, "I don't talk to strangers." and leave.

If he/she shows up at your house, ask them to leave or you'll call the cops for trespassing. If they remain for even 2 seconds asking why, or what, pick up the phone, 911 their butts.

You will come to realise your kids are more important than any family members stupid enough to be calling CPS. And if the rest of the family says your wrong, just ignore them. Trust me, it's going to bother them more to know one of their own put you through hell and how well you know it, than you shutting them out becuase you want no more to do with CPS Agents.

Even if your world shrinks down to you and your kids only, you'll be far happier keeping them than going to court with half your family backing you up trying to stop TPR.
"The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth becomes the greatest enemy of the State." —Dr. Joseph M. Goebbels, Hitler’s Propaganda Minister

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Postby AllForThisSite » Thu Dec 08, 2005 1:27 pm

My MIL and I came up with the plan to start telling people we had the paperwork and even make up what appeared to look like real paperwork to flash around to see what would get said. We figured the one that started acting the guiltiest and the one who made the most fuss was our egg.
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You can't run with the big dogs if you pee like a puppy!

tempest
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Postby tempest » Thu Dec 08, 2005 3:18 pm

scarfyrre wrote:Even if you did get your files, the information about the person that called wouldn't be included. CPS is supposed to keep reporters anonymous, and they only need to give you what they thing you need from your files.


Ah but see, I threatened with a court order based on IL law under harassment. I used the form letter too and I got the files with the reporter's name (ex-MIL) including all the lies she reported.

"If the assholes don't succeed, they'll try and try again....until they do." I don't want to give them that chance.


I completely agree. I talked to my OB today who said I don't need the emotional distress (no one does) and that I ought to let Amherst Schools know that an employee of theirs is making false allegations. Sounds like a good idea.....

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AllForThisSite
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Postby AllForThisSite » Fri Dec 09, 2005 1:46 pm

What's really sad is my husband's cousin and his wife just split up. They were both living in Florida with their 3 kids but he came back home. She called us wanting to know if we thought it would be a good idea for her to move back here, too, so that the kids would be closer to their family and their father. I told her if she wanted to keep her kids that the best thing she could do was wait until they were 14 which is the age most kids seem to age out of CPS care. I know how this family is and the first time they want to cause her trouble it will be with CPS. She then admits to me that the whole reason her and her ex-husband moved to Florida after having the twins was to avoid allowing this family to successfully remove 2 more kids. I told her to stay where she is if she wants to beat the cycle.
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You can't run with the big dogs if you pee like a puppy!

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Frustrated
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Postby Frustrated » Fri Dec 09, 2005 7:04 pm

Yeah, but Florida is also pretty bad down there as well. She would be better off going into a different State that is not visited by CPS that often.

I did research on Canada, and boy, the numbers do tell a tale. I found that in smaller Provinces, they are called States in your Country, but anyways Provinces, the smaller ones, the numbers are less, where they take kids into Foster Care, compared to the bigger Provinces where the most Businesses are at, like Toronto, that is the most Businesses are located, and that is where the most Children are taken away. Most Cities are Toronto, Vancouver, Ottawa. The smaller ones, not too bad as visited by CPS. It is interesting though, that over all in Canada, there are 70,000 Children in the Care of the Government (Foster Care) where there are 1,000 Kids in each Provinces are being adopted out annually. Guess what their CPS Net Expenditures are?

$1.174 BILLION in Net Expenditures for CPS between the Year 2004 to 2005.

That is ALOT!

I am def. writing off my Ex Husband, because he told my Kids he is up to something, planning some schemes, and he is planning to make me suffer some more. I knew what he is talking about, he is calling CPS again. He told the Kids he is not seeing the Kids For Christmas Visitation, but he was Smiling, and told the Kids, but I am not telling you what it is for a Surprise.

Good Grief, NOT AGAIN!!!

I know what you mean about disgrunteled Relatives, Friends, Neighbours and it would be a good idea to write them off completely, because they are going to cause more problems and trouble down the road, again and again....that is something I do not want to go through again.


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