CPS Nightmare

[Charlotte]

My daughter is 8 and my son is 7. I'm a single mom. My daughter has had behavioral problems since she was 5. She's abusive to her brother, lies constantly and hurts the family pets. My parents have her visit and indulge her as much as possible. After many fights with her brother, I cancelled a trip with her grandparents as punishment. That night she called her grandmother, snuck out of the house telling everyone that I "punched her in the nose." Despite my son telling Grandma that this didn't happen, Grandma refused to bring daughter home. She thinks it's best that my daughter live there for awhile. I stay calm for a couple weeks, then email Grandma that I will be picking my daughter up from school that Friday because I have an appointment with a child psychologist. The following day CPS shows up at my house. She had just been to my children's school. My daughter alleges that I force her to look at penises on my laptop. I whip her with a crop everyday. I'm drunk everyday. I lock her in her room every night. I told the woman that I've never shown her pornography. Yes, I have smacked her with a crop, but haven't in months as it had no effect on my daughter. I'm not drunk everyday and I don't lock her in her room. The only thing that I could substantially disprove was the lock, being on the INSIDE of my daughter's room. The CPS woman is supposedly going to call me this week with the name of a therapist. She says that my daughter is afraid to come home. After her allegations, I don't think I want her to come home EVER.

My questions: Do I have to see the state paid therapist? I'd rather see one of my own choosing.

My son has denied everything that my daughter has said, yet it's given no weight. I tried to explain to the woman that this was all about my daughter not wanting to follow the rules and live at her grandparents where she's completely spoiled. She told me "Children don't lie about abuse." I can emphatically say, YES, YES THEY DO!

I am so angry at my parents for putting this nightmare into motion. I'm also so disappointed in my daughter. I realize that she has psychological problems but I never expected her to be so cold-blooded.

Any input will be appreciated!

[kdddav'swife]

Do you mean like a riding crop? That was a BIG mistake to admit to that (if you did). CPS can take that and make it look like you are the worst parent in the world. Do not get me wrong. All of us on this board have suffered with false allegations and you are definatley not the first where the child did the accusing. This girl needs serious psychological help and we wish you all the good luck in the world in getting it for her and in freeing yourself from this CPS mess. If you can afford it I would also seek counseling for yourself. Do not go to anyone CPS "recamends".They are not bound by the same laws of confidentiality as your private doctor would be.

[kdddav'swife]

I believe that you can seek out your own counseling. We did this for our daughter durring our third investigation. The investigator tried to suggest that we use their counselor but we refused her offer and told her that we got our own.

[Dan Sullivan]

Yes, I have smacked her with a crop,

What did the CW say about this?

She told me "Children don't lie about abuse."

This is a crock and if the CW really believes it she should be fired.

CW's know grandparents start crap like this to get kids away from their parents.

Why did you allow your daughter to stay with them for weeks?

Best, Dan

[Charlotte]

Why did you allow your daughter to stay with them for weeks?

I asked for her back the next day and my mother said it would be better if she stayed until the end of the month. Short of bringing the police, there was nothing I could do.

Yes, I have hit her leg with a crop on one or two occassions. I'm not a parent who readily lays hands on their child, but I was at my wits end with my daughter. She has scratched my sons face, permanently scarring him, while going for his eyes. She has tried to choke him. She has cut his hair off. She has tried to drown him on many occassions. She once purposely slammed his hand in a car door. She has told him repeatedly that she wished he was dead and that he is stupid. This abuse is not limited to my son. She's so violent with the family cat that I must put the poor thing in another room to keep it safe. Right before this episode she told me she thought of cutting the cat's ears off with her scissors. Obviously she needs therapy and I'm out of my element.

I guess I want to know if CPS can come after my son who has denied any abuse and is happy at home?

After research, I believe there is a strong possibility that my daughter is a sociopath. I know I lack the resources to provide care for her. Can I make my parents guardians or do I have to terminate my parental rights?

I'm sure most of you think I'm a cold-hearted bitch, but I've been living this for three years now. My son, who gets the brunt of her abuse, does not want her back. The past two weeks have honestly been the happiest we have had together. It may be horrible, but a friend of mine who knows her joked that she hopes my parents live long enough to keep her through her teenage years.

I don't think the social workers at CPS have any idea how to deal with children like this. After my experience, I've found websites dedicated to this kind of conscienceless child. A common trait is false allegations.

[Lorrie Shaw]

I would never say that you are a b with an itch, God only knows how much damage your daughter has caused. If your son has been abused by her, you may want to consider getting him some help to deal with it. Please forgive me if you have already mentioned doing that, I mean no disrespect. I do not know where you live but there is an excellent Doctor in Atlanta that could help you out. If you would like her name and address, please pm or email me and I will be glad to send you her information. I am at a loss as to how to help you, Dazeemay or even Good Dad are great resources for that. I will try and do some research on my own and see what I can come up with.

God Bless You,

Lorrie

[Dazeemay]

http://forum.fightcps.com/viewtopic.php?t=1103

Here is a link to explaining doing your own guardianship. It is a safety net to keep cps from taking your child/ren.

I know your mother would not be the one to do this with, but if you have other grandparent/s then they would be your best bet or relatives without children.

If cps comes for the child/ren you will tell than that you will have to take them to their guardians because they are under legal guardianship. They might just back down and leave you alone. They know that they would have to fight the guardianship and serve papers on the guardians, for what? The guardians are not the ones being falsely accused.

Can I make my parents guardians or do I have to terminate my parental rights?

You can do this very easily without the courts and you do not have to terminate your rights as a parent.

Our daughter, my husband and myself, did a court one because she recognizes being a single parent if something happened to her we would take care of the children and not have to fight for them.

Your daughter could have a unknown physcial disorder that could cause her actions. Do not be quick to judge her or hate her. Yes, she is making your lives miserable and this would be the best solution for her and you.

The grandparents will be calling you if it continues with them after the honeymoon is over and she shows her true colors.

[lizzy7823]

OH MY GOD...ANOTHER CASEWORKER THAT SAYS "CHILDREN DON'T LIE ABOUT ABUSE", EH?
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL!!!!!!!
I can top that one....I remember this DCFS caseworker telling me: (and I quote this as being 100% exactly her words....) "Children cannot be brainwashed"......
She was referring to my at the time 3 and 4 year old stepchildren who made abuse allegations against my husband (their BF).
Well, actually they didn't make the allegations, their grandmother (my husband's ex mother in law) made the allegations, ironically after we began a custody battle against her. My hubby's ex-wife was involved in heroin and crack use with her low life boyfriend and DCFS took the kids away from her and gave them to her mother pending the investigation. This was 3 years ago. WE stepped up for custody and all hell broke loose. The first investigation was unfounded, meaning no evidence of abuse was found. Gramma didn't like that and had another investigation started. This time gramma requested a friend she knew that worked at DCFS and got her friend to "indicate" my hubby for abuse against his kids.
AND here was the kicker....In the first investigation, his kids were interrogated and said NOTHING happened to them, that daddy never hurt them or touched them. PERIOD.
In the 2nd investigation, (this one was 3 months later) these kids are SAYING ALL SORTS OF THINGS....THEY KNOW WHAT SEXUAL ORGANS ARE, WHERE THEY ARE, THE NAMES OF THEM, ETC, ETC.... You get the point.
Mind you, in the first investigation, his 4 year old daughter was asked to show where a "weiner" is on an anatomically correct doll. She pointed to the shoulder!!
But boy, 3 months later, after being secluded with gramma all this time.....she was asked again and by this time, I gotta tell ya, the kid knew more than I knew!!!!
The point is, it was so OBVIOUS that she was coached.
I saw the video tape interviews and you could see it...she was answering questions before the interviewer asked them...ya know what I mean?
And I can still hear that DCFS investigator telling me that children cannot be brainwashed.
WHAT???? I asked her if they believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny. She said of course they do. I said, "Why? cuz SOMEONE TOLD THEM THAT WAS TRUE?"
She told me that was not the same thing. Okay it isn't but it is along the same lines. Children that small, babies, CAN be led to say and believe things that are not true. Obviously.
Its like, I dont know French. But if someone told me to repeat a phrase in French, I could do it, I just wouldn't know what I was saying. Just like my stepkids. I know my husband never touched them.
And here's another thing to show you how DCFS works.....ALL OF MY KIDS (the kids that live with us) were questioned and ALL SAID THAT MY HUSBAND NEVER TOUCHED THEM OR THEIR STEP SIBLING EVER.
Well, at the time my daughter was 5, and that was 1 year older than his daughter.
DCFS FORCED A PELVIC EXAM ON MY 5 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER.
Even though she was interrogated for hours the day before and made NO disclosures whatsoever. Hell, she looked at these people like they had lobsters crawling out of their ears when she was asked if her stepdad ever "touched her privates".....She told them no way. And she made no uncertain terms about it.
THe next day I was told to bring her down to THIER doctor for a pelvic exam. I refused of course, and was told they would take protective custody of her away from me.
I went to the doctor and met with DCFS and by this time called a lawyer who told me to get it in writing that they would take protective custody if I refused to cooperate with the exam.
I wish I could show this to you guys but I don't know how to copy that to this site.
So all in all, the doc found nothing wrong with her, as I already knew but she was still put through the humiliation of a pelvic exam at FIVE YEARS OLD.
It's kind of ironic, DCFS accused my husband of molestation, and said I couldn't protect my children from a sexual predator, when in fact it was DCFS that MOLESTED MY DAUGHTER IN FRONT OF MY EYES AND I WAS POWERLESS TO STOP THEM.

I still just shake my head with disgust at that one.....
ANd today? 3 years later? well lets see....his kids are still with the gramma and grampa (oh btw....grampa was accused of impregnating his own daughter when she was 16, and she was forced into an abortion BECAUSE her mother was so sure that the father did it....but of course nobody will believe us, WE'RE the sickos, don't ya know...lol)His ex-wife is still using daily, my children and the 2 we have together all live with me, and he is STILL not allowed home til he is cleared.
Nice, huh?
Our lives ruined over a custody battle.
His kids living with a grandfather who was thought to have impregnated their mother years ago.
And that DCFS investigator still working for the system, telling people "children cannot be brainwashed...."

WHEW!!!! Sorry so long but DARN that felt good to get out after stewing about it for so long.....

lizzy

[lizzy7823]

OH MY GOD...ANOTHER CASEWORKER THAT SAYS "CHILDREN DON'T LIE ABOUT ABUSE", EH?
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL!!!!!!!
I can top that one....I remember this DCFS caseworker telling me: (and I quote this as being 100% exactly her words....) "Children cannot be brainwashed"......
She was referring to my at the time 3 and 4 year old stepchildren who made abuse allegations against my husband (their BF).
Well, actually they didn't make the allegations, their grandmother (my husband's ex mother in law) made the allegations, ironically after we began a custody battle against her. My hubby's ex-wife was involved in heroin and crack use with her low life boyfriend and DCFS took the kids away from her and gave them to her mother pending the investigation. This was 3 years ago. WE stepped up for custody and all hell broke loose. The first investigation was unfounded, meaning no evidence of abuse was found. Gramma didn't like that and had another investigation started. This time gramma requested a friend she knew that worked at DCFS and got her friend to "indicate" my hubby for abuse against his kids.
AND here was the kicker....In the first investigation, his kids were interrogated and said NOTHING happened to them, that daddy never hurt them or touched them. PERIOD.
In the 2nd investigation, (this one was 3 months later) these kids are SAYING ALL SORTS OF THINGS....THEY KNOW WHAT SEXUAL ORGANS ARE, WHERE THEY ARE, THE NAMES OF THEM, ETC, ETC.... You get the point.
Mind you, in the first investigation, his 4 year old daughter was asked to show where a "weiner" is on an anatomically correct doll. She pointed to the shoulder!!
But boy, 3 months later, after being secluded with gramma all this time.....she was asked again and by this time, I gotta tell ya, the kid knew more than I knew!!!!
The point is, it was so OBVIOUS that she was coached.
I saw the video tape interviews and you could see it...she was answering questions before the interviewer asked them...ya know what I mean?
And I can still hear that DCFS investigator telling me that children cannot be brainwashed.
WHAT???? I asked her if they believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny. She said of course they do. I said, "Why? cuz SOMEONE TOLD THEM THAT WAS TRUE?"
She told me that was not the same thing. Okay it isn't but it is along the same lines. Children that small, babies, CAN be led to say and believe things that are not true. Obviously.
Its like, I dont know French. But if someone told me to repeat a phrase in French, I could do it, I just wouldn't know what I was saying. Just like my stepkids. I know my husband never touched them.
And here's another thing to show you how DCFS works.....ALL OF MY KIDS (the kids that live with us) were questioned and ALL SAID THAT MY HUSBAND NEVER TOUCHED THEM OR THEIR STEP SIBLING EVER.
Well, at the time my daughter was 5, and that was 1 year older than his daughter.
DCFS FORCED A PELVIC EXAM ON MY 5 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER.
Even though she was interrogated for hours the day before and made NO disclosures whatsoever. Hell, she looked at these people like they had lobsters crawling out of their ears when she was asked if her stepdad ever "touched her privates".....She told them no way. And she made no uncertain terms about it.
THe next day I was told to bring her down to THIER doctor for a pelvic exam. I refused of course, and was told they would take protective custody of her away from me.
I went to the doctor and met with DCFS and by this time called a lawyer who told me to get it in writing that they would take protective custody if I refused to cooperate with the exam.
I wish I could show this to you guys but I don't know how to copy that to this site.
So all in all, the doc found nothing wrong with her, as I already knew but she was still put through the humiliation of a pelvic exam at FIVE YEARS OLD.
It's kind of ironic, DCFS accused my husband of molestation, and said I couldn't protect my children from a sexual predator, when in fact it was DCFS that MOLESTED MY DAUGHTER IN FRONT OF MY EYES AND I WAS POWERLESS TO STOP THEM.

I still just shake my head with disgust at that one.....
ANd today? 3 years later? well lets see....his kids are still with the gramma and grampa (oh btw....grampa was accused of impregnating his own daughter when she was 16, and she was forced into an abortion BECAUSE her mother was so sure that the father did it....but of course nobody will believe us, WE'RE the sickos, don't ya know...lol)His ex-wife is still using daily, my children and the 2 we have together all live with me, and he is STILL not allowed home til he is cleared.
Nice, huh?
Our lives ruined over a custody battle.
His kids living with a grandfather who was thought to have impregnated their mother years ago.
And that DCFS investigator still working for the system, telling people "children cannot be brainwashed...."

WHEW!!!! Sorry so long but DARN that felt good to get out after stewing about it for so long.....

lizzy

[Dan Sullivan]

OH MY GOD...ANOTHER CASEWORKER THAT SAYS "CHILDREN DON'T LIE ABOUT ABUSE", EH?
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL!!!!!!!
I can top that one....I remember this DCFS caseworker telling me: (and I quote this as being 100% exactly her words....) "Children cannot be brainwashed"......

Obviously she's never seen a television commercial.

[scarfyrre]

When that hack counselor accused my husband of having oral sex orgies with the neighbors, in my house, with my son, while I ate chocolate in the backyard, I thought to myself "Ok, even the most radical activist can't believe that one."

Was I wrong.

Not only was it believed, but they even tried to get my son to say that. Bless his heart, he couldn't lie if he tried, and out of 15 interviews (11 forensic), they couldn't get a thing out of him. One b*tch lied to him and said if he told the truth, then he could go home. He told her the truth and he went right back to foster care for another 4 months.

I did a ton of research on sexual abuse, and once I waded through all the propaganda, I found something out. Small children, with no knowledge of sex, really can't lie very well about false abuse. Eventually they can be led, but even then they'll go back and forth. Their little minds can't grasp the concept, UNLESS it's actually happened. A lie is still a lie (or a fib if it's another person making the child tell stories), and it will never be consistent like the truth.

So, technically, a child can't lie *well* about false abuse. A good forensic interviewer can tell when a child is lying, but these child savers all have one idea in mind: all parents are abusers. Sadly, the uninformed believe them.

One thing I plan on really pushing hard, besides the regulation of these 'sexual treatment clinics', is that all interviews with children must be video or audio taped. Every single one of them. Heck, charge the parents for it, but it must be done. Thank the stars the first interview was taped with my son. It clearly shows her leading him, clearly shows he's scared as heck, and clearly shows she couldn't get him to lie.

I will get a law passed about taping all interviews even if it takes until I'm older and even more grey. Just one more tick in the changes of family services.

[Charlotte]

I'm sure my mother has brainwashed and coached my daughter. I can't see her using the word "penises" when she usually uses a more juvenile term when referring to her brother's anatomy. But I've recently found out that this had been brewing even before my daughter left. I found a letter she had written to her grandmother. It sounded as if she was reporting to my mother. It's odd that CPS seems to have disappeared. The CW was supposed to call me with referrals for counseling. But so far, nothing.

Does it ever come into play the economic status of the parties involved? My parents are extremely wealthy and unfortunately, I am not. For some time now my mother has wanted more and more time with my daughter. She'd insisted on overnights, even weekends and long trips. My mother is a vapid, empty woman who has loads of money and no hobbies. Because my daughter was so abusive to her brother, I let her go. It was a relief for us to have her out of the house. I didn't realize she was literally being stolen right from under my nose. I see my mother, in her little Lexus, picking up my daughter from school and it really hurts. My daughter is equal to a Chiuaua in my mother's eyes. A new accessory. By being involved in my daughter's life, my twice face-lifted mother can appear "young" again. Next year my son will be attending a different school because I can not deal with seeing that hag again.

I'm so crushed and wounded by the fact that 1) My daughter could even say those things about me and 2) She's moved on without a second thought to us. I feel as if I'm greiving a death, which I suppose I am.

I'll never forgive my parents or my daughter. I think they used CPS as a tool to scare me into doing nothing about their kidnapping. It worked. I'm not going to risk my son for a child that doesn't even want to be with me. I hope she won't wonder when she's 16 and my mother is 82 whether she made a mistake.

I suppose I'll be charged with abandonment and they will get custody. I've called and left messages but no one's called me back. Before anyone says I should get a lawyer, why would I? I'd spend thousand for a child that obviously does not want to be here. She has long disparaged our little house and preffered to do her playdates at Grandma's estate. Bottom line, my daughter wants to live with her wealthy grandparents and does not want to come home to our middle class existence. If she did, I have no doubt, at the first sign of her displeasure she would be reporting me for something. She's played the game and won. I really feel as though I'm experienceing her death. I don't think I'll ever see her again and if years pass I doubt I'll want to.

[lizzy7823]

When that hack counselor accused my husband of having oral sex orgies with the neighbors, in my house, with my son, while I ate chocolate in the backyard, I thought to myself "Ok, even the most radical activist can't believe that one."

Was I wrong.

Not only was it believed, but they even tried to get my son to say that. Bless his heart, he couldn't lie if he tried, and out of 15 interviews (11 forensic), they couldn't get a thing out of him. One b*tch lied to him and said if he told the truth, then he could go home. He told her the truth and he went right back to foster care for another 4 months.

I did a ton of research on sexual abuse, and once I waded through all the propaganda, I found something out. Small children, with no knowledge of sex, really can't lie very well about false abuse. Eventually they can be led, but even then they'll go back and forth. Their little minds can't grasp the concept, UNLESS it's actually happened. A lie is still a lie (or a fib if it's another person making the child tell stories), and it will never be consistent like the truth.

So, technically, a child can't lie *well* about false abuse. A good forensic interviewer can tell when a child is lying, but these child savers all have one idea in mind: all parents are abusers. Sadly, the uninformed believe them.

One thing I plan on really pushing hard, besides the regulation of these 'sexual treatment clinics', is that all interviews with children must be video or audio taped. Every single one of them. Heck, charge the parents for it, but it must be done. Thank the stars the first interview was taped with my son. It clearly shows her leading him, clearly shows he's scared as heck, and clearly shows she couldn't get him to lie.

I will get a law passed about taping all interviews even if it takes until I'm older and even more grey. Just one more tick in the changes of family services.

i absolutely agree....and his kids DID keep going back and forth, very inconsistent, and called him by his first name during the interviews.
and the worst part is like I said, they are living with someone who possibly impregnated his own daughter.
His kids are so messed up right now, its sad.
IF they were molested, it was probably the BM's boyfriend, the one who the kids were so afraid of.
I remember WE called DCFS back in March of 2003 because my stepdaughter BEGGED us not to make her go back to her mother and mother's boyfriend's house.
I remember how that terrified little girl grabbed my husband's leg and implored him not to make her go back there, saying.."please let me stay here daddy, I will be good if you don't make me go back"
I also remember her saying "Billy (boyfriend) hurts me"
That is why we called DCFS in the 1st place and you know what?
THEY DID NOTHING.
BM's mother was contacted first by her investigator friend letting her know that a hotline call was made on her daughter, so by the time an investigator came out to BM's home, the kids were like little robots, saying "Billy is nice, Billy doesn't hurt us..."
Yet the next time WE saw the kids, it was the same thing all over again...."don't make me go back there, please!!!!"
Both kids screamed all the way home to their mother's house.
It was ridiculous.
My husband's ex-wife came into my work one day last year and TOLD ME HER MOTHER WAS BRAINWASHING THE KIDS.
Told me in front of witnesses and I had the surveillance tape showing her in there talking to me in front of witnesses and our lawyer told us we couldn't use it at trial because it was HEARSAY.
She also told me that she knows my husband didn't do anything to the kids but she can't go against her mother and risk being "cut off financially".
Well, of course.....how else would she be able to buy her heroin if mommy got angry with her and gave her no more money?!!
There is also SO much more to this story but its like I said, you probably wouldn't believe it cuz it was SO ridiculous and corrupt and just plain wrong what happened to us.

[lizzy7823]

OH MY GOD...ANOTHER CASEWORKER THAT SAYS "CHILDREN DON'T LIE ABOUT ABUSE", EH?
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL!!!!!!!
I can top that one....I remember this DCFS caseworker telling me: (and I quote this as being 100% exactly her words....) "Children cannot be brainwashed"......

Obviously she's never seen a television commercial.

LOL....Dan, you really made me laugh with that one, and I havent been much in the laughing mood lately...I know this isn't the board for this type of subject, but right now I am posting this from a hospital computer....Last Wednseday, March 15th, I took my 9 year old son to the E.R. because I thought he had the flu. It turned out I was wrong....he has leukemia. We were taken by ambulance to a hospital in Chicago where we have been since last Wednesday.
He just started his chemo and is doing good so far, and he is being braver than my husband and I, that's for sure.
So since I can't sleep much because I am so worried, I found this board on CPS and it's been keeping my mind off of my worries.
And since we ourselves went through such a nightmare, I felt this was a good place to vent and to offer other people advice.
It sure does occupy my mind so I don't worry so much about my son, and the long road ahead for all of us.

And hey...We are definitely in need of alot of prayers right now, so if anyone has a few minutes...please pray for my son, and for our family.

Thanks,

lizzy

[lizzy7823]

I'm sure my mother has brainwashed and coached my daughter. I can't see her using the word "penises" when she usually uses a more juvenile term when referring to her brother's anatomy. But I've recently found out that this had been brewing even before my daughter left. I found a letter she had written to her grandmother. It sounded as if she was reporting to my mother. It's odd that CPS seems to have disappeared. The CW was supposed to call me with referrals for counseling. But so far, nothing.

Does it ever come into play the economic status of the parties involved? My parents are extremely wealthy and unfortunately, I am not. For some time now my mother has wanted more and more time with my daughter. She'd insisted on overnights, even weekends and long trips. My mother is a vapid, empty woman who has loads of money and no hobbies. Because my daughter was so abusive to her brother, I let her go. It was a relief for us to have her out of the house. I didn't realize she was literally being stolen right from under my nose. I see my mother, in her little Lexus, picking up my daughter from school and it really hurts. My daughter is equal to a Chiuaua in my mother's eyes. A new accessory. By being involved in my daughter's life, my twice face-lifted mother can appear "young" again. Next year my son will be attending a different school because I can not deal with seeing that hag again.

I'm so crushed and wounded by the fact that 1) My daughter could even say those things about me and 2) She's moved on without a second thought to us. I feel as if I'm greiving a death, which I suppose I am.

I'll never forgive my parents or my daughter. I think they used CPS as a tool to scare me into doing nothing about their kidnapping. It worked. I'm not going to risk my son for a child that doesn't even want to be with me. I hope she won't wonder when she's 16 and my mother is 82 whether she made a mistake.

I

suppose I'll be charged with abandonment and they will get custody

. I've called and left messages but no one's called me back. Before anyone says I should get a lawyer, why would I? I'd spend thousand for a child that obviously does not want to be here. She has long disparaged our little house and preffered to do her playdates at Grandma's estate.

Bottom line, my daughter wants to live with her wealthy grandparents and does not want to come home to our middle class existence.

If she did, I have no doubt, at the first sign of her displeasure she would be reporting me for something. She's played the game and won. I really feel as though I'm experienceing her death. I don't think I'll ever see her again and if years pass I doubt I'll want to.

Okay....PLEASE don't feel like I am trying to be mean to you in any way because I'm not.
But, it really sounds to me like you are looking for someone to tell you its OKAY to just let your mom have her, like you are looking for some kind of absolution if you let her go.
honey, you say you feel like you are experiencing her death?
NO!!! You don't even know what that feels like until someone tells you that your child has leukemia, like I was told last week about my son.
YOUR CHILD IS NOT DEAD OR DYING AND I SAY FIGHT FOR HER.
Get her into some kind of counseling for her anger problems and keep her away from your mother, who is obviously a contributor to your daughter's behavior.
Let your daughter know YOU are the boss, not her and not grandma.
How old is she? 9? Same as my son.
I'm not trying to be harsh to you and I hope alot of people don't jump on me for saying this to you its just very hard for me to hear a mother say she feels like she is mourning her HEALTHY CHILD LIKE THE CHILD IS DEAD when my child is fighting for his life right now.
Your daughter is a brat, that's for sure but she is still your child.
Don't be so fast to let her go.
Again, I really am not trying to hurt you just trying to get you to snap out of it and FIGHT!!!
AND no more "mourning her death" talk, alright?

Its not right to say that about your healthy child, ever.

lizzy

[Dazeemay]

I suppose I'll be charged with abandonment and they will get custody

You don't want that because then it leaves your son wide open for cps to take him because of that abandonment charge.

If you want you can do the guardianship form and send it to your mother and father in the mail.

You can do this one https://www.legaldocs.com/docs/child_1.mv

and state in it, "This grant of authority is effective as of....date..., and shall remain in effect until terminated by the undersigned parent or guardian."
Or you may not chose to say that. It is something you have to decide.

No decision leaves one in a turmoil.

[Charlotte]

I'm sure many of you can't understand because from what I've read the charges made against you have been made by outsiders. The charges against me have been made by my own child. For her to accuse me of these thing carries a huge amount of weight. So it is different and I do feel there's nothing I can do.

Thanks for the Guardianship advice, Dazeemay. I will look into it.

Lizzy what would you suggest I do? I could call the police to remove her from my parents' house. They would then call CPS and my daughter, no doubt, would say she was being abused. This time, CPS would remove my son as well, despite the fact that he has said my daughter has lied. I would have an even bigger mess. I can't afford an attorney.

So seriously Lizzy please give me advice. I'm interested in hearing how YOU would handle this.

That's what I came here for, advice and to be able to vent. Not absolution.

[Lorrie Shaw]

AMEN CHARLOTTE!!!!

And to Lizzy,

My prayers are with you hon, my baby brother also has leukemia, so I know what worries you are under, my prayers are with you.

Lorrie

[Frustrated]

CPS says that: "Children don't lie about the Abuse and they are not brainwashed?"

That is a big fat lie and they know it.

My Children resorted to lying so many times they cannot even remember what they said 4 years ago. They made it up so that they thought they would bring Dad and I back together.

They were taught by CPS how to call with their personal card, if they don't like the rules, CPS are the ones to call. That is brainwashing to you.

Even Psch. Doctors admit that Children often lie about the abuse so they can bring their divorced parents back together. That is all the trouble they would risk just to get them back together. CPS, unfortunately does not believe that fact. I agree with Dan Sullivan, the CPS don't watch anything and does not learn anything, they just work, lie, steal, and get funds. That's it. CPS Doctors are paid to lie to go in favor of CPS, always.... Why do you suppose all of them were diagnosed with ADD< ADHD< ODD< Bipolar and other Disorders. What for? That is to cover up their (suppposition of lies about the abuse, and they knew it, so they make these up to cover these tracks up) and put them in the reports. These Whacko CPS Doctors who seems to know everything are terribly wrong because my other Doctors said "yes they do often lie about the abuse for aggravating reasons such as divorced parents, loss, peer pressure, and such." They even admitted that fact on other reports, but they are distancing themselves away from these CPS Doctors, because they are "funded" and by the Government.

Well, I got news for you, The Government lies too, always with these half truths anyways just to prove their "cause" or "point". So that they can release Funds for no apparent reasons but for themselves.

[Zookie]

I'm just curious.....was your daughter recieving counseling for all of her behaviors? Some of them seem pretty extreme. And why was she acting like? Do you have any clue? I'm just curious because I am a child therapist.....and she's awfully young for those types of behaviors.....has she been abused ever? (Not by you.....but do you suspect abuse from others.....her behavior is consistent with sexual abuse.....not saying that's what happened to her, just saying it's consistent).

[Frustrated]

"Her behaviour seems consistent with Sexual Abuse"...

That is something I have heard so many times out of the mouths of CPS Workers and CPS Doctors.

[Lorrie Shaw]

ZOOKIE was only asking, it does seem that the child has had some type of problem, be it sexual abuse and or seen it somewhere, not by no means from her mother nor her husband. Just because someone says something like that, there is no reason to cliam thats what CPS says all the time, yes they are the scum of the earth, but since every one has an opinion, maybe there is something to it. JUST MY OPINION< of course.



Lorrie

[Zookie]

The problem is it is consistent.....does not mean it happened.....and actually would be damaging to her if she was "treated" for sexual abuse and it never happened. But if you think back.....can you think of any opportunity someone would have had to harm her or what was happening during the time her behavior began getting really bad?

[Frustrated]

Yes, Opinions by the CPS are just dangerous, because it is not a fact, it is not proven evidence. They would go on founded cases almost with no evidence, just their opinions.

We are allowed to have opinions, and it is our own, but CPS does not respect that. They want their own say. That is why it is important to have the Child evaluated by your own Family Doctor or a Specialist, because these CPS Doctors will be so frivilous and would claim sexual abuse whereas it might not be. I have heard one Girl that was taken to Foster Care, and CPS claimed she was sexually abused, and she was only 13, and she said, No it didn't happen. CPS did not believe her, and made the Case stick on her, under Sexual Abuse. This Poor Girl was adopted out and she has sucidical thoughts, because CPS don't believe her. She keep insisting that it did not happen. CPS claimed that she is in denial. She cried herself in bed, and she lost her Family because of CPS' thoughts she was sexually abused, where she was in fact NOT sexually abused.

CPS loves Sexual Abuse Cases, because it brings more Funds, ALOT of money. But if the Child was indeed sexually abused, then you need to get YOUR OWN HELP. Get your own private therapist, Counsellor, your OWN doctors to take a look at your Child. Don't let the CPS Doctors do the examination, because they will make up false claims of sexual abuse whereas it might NOT be? CPS would do anything to pass the buck.

[Lorrie Shaw]

Point missed!


Lorrie