i don't know whether to call CPS
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sara030blu
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i don't know whether to call CPS
I know a couple that have custody of their younger brother (16 yr old) well they smoke pot in front of the children and allow their 16 yr old brother to smoke and drink on a casual basis. After reading all the negatives about CPS you guys have me wondering. Any input would be apreciated.
CPS is NOT an agency that protects children and provides services to families in need of services. When they steal children from homes and the family court does not abide by constitional law and does not afford due process to both the guilty and innocent and then toss children in a dangerous and completely broken foster care system, the children are often better off staying in homes that are not so perfect.
My opinion in this case, just based on what you posted? Stay out of it, CPS is not a better place for these children and more likely, a much worse place.
My opinion in this case, just based on what you posted? Stay out of it, CPS is not a better place for these children and more likely, a much worse place.
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DontBiteMyNose
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Frustrated
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I have seen so many Foster Children coming to my house telling me stories about Foster Care Homes, and how they dislike it there....they are worse off than they were originally were in their own homes.
Their Behaviors has been erratically acting out, they get sick more...they get in trouble more...they often run away...they often go into somewhere where Foster Mother/Parents DOES NOT HAVE A CLUE where they are....they go into parties, having sex with somebody else in some one else's homes...they are more in rebellious stage than previously in their homes.
Foster Care System are not a good place for these misplaced Children...there is no attention, there is no love...but don't get me wrong, there are good Foster Parents, but there are very very few of them left out there, and you just don't know if they are being placed with the good ones. They are often placed in most terrible places, and they get whipped. I have heard stories of them telling me that they were spanked, they were whipped with a Towel, they were belted, they were told to be slaves of their homes to clean their house, do what they are told.
These Teenagers act out more worse in Foster Care than the smaller Children, but those of smaller Children often get more sicker there than in their own homes.
How old are these Children? If they are Teenagers, it would be best to stay out of it. There are lots of Teenagers out there are smoking pot and drinking because of dyfunctional Families. But when once they are placed in Foster Care, it is much more worse and they act out more and commit more crimes. I have seen Foster Teenagers commit at least 6 crimes in there than before. Crimes would stem from Mischief, Robbery, Theft, Break and Entering, and most famous Vanadalism.
Our Schools were vanadalized just not long ago, it was two weeks ago and it was done (vandalized) by Foster Teeangers.
He is 16 yrs old and most likely CPS won't step in with older Kids, just smaller Children. I have experiences with Teenagers that smoke with Pot and Drinking....cause my Step son is 18 yrs old and he rebels more if you tell him something, and would threaten to put him in Foster Care, he would act out more...and once you leave him alone, he would mellow out and would stay out of trouble. There is a Balancing System and you just got to do what is right, Love of the Family, or having Rebellious ones in the System all over the place?
I would keep it in one Family rather than seperating them and they would be seperated in Foster Care, they won't be together. The 16 yrs old, would be moving out not before too long, and he will be on his own. His own Decisions is up to him. All we can do is to give them Guidance and hope all things will work out in the End.
Their Behaviors has been erratically acting out, they get sick more...they get in trouble more...they often run away...they often go into somewhere where Foster Mother/Parents DOES NOT HAVE A CLUE where they are....they go into parties, having sex with somebody else in some one else's homes...they are more in rebellious stage than previously in their homes.
Foster Care System are not a good place for these misplaced Children...there is no attention, there is no love...but don't get me wrong, there are good Foster Parents, but there are very very few of them left out there, and you just don't know if they are being placed with the good ones. They are often placed in most terrible places, and they get whipped. I have heard stories of them telling me that they were spanked, they were whipped with a Towel, they were belted, they were told to be slaves of their homes to clean their house, do what they are told.
These Teenagers act out more worse in Foster Care than the smaller Children, but those of smaller Children often get more sicker there than in their own homes.
How old are these Children? If they are Teenagers, it would be best to stay out of it. There are lots of Teenagers out there are smoking pot and drinking because of dyfunctional Families. But when once they are placed in Foster Care, it is much more worse and they act out more and commit more crimes. I have seen Foster Teenagers commit at least 6 crimes in there than before. Crimes would stem from Mischief, Robbery, Theft, Break and Entering, and most famous Vanadalism.
Our Schools were vanadalized just not long ago, it was two weeks ago and it was done (vandalized) by Foster Teeangers.
He is 16 yrs old and most likely CPS won't step in with older Kids, just smaller Children. I have experiences with Teenagers that smoke with Pot and Drinking....cause my Step son is 18 yrs old and he rebels more if you tell him something, and would threaten to put him in Foster Care, he would act out more...and once you leave him alone, he would mellow out and would stay out of trouble. There is a Balancing System and you just got to do what is right, Love of the Family, or having Rebellious ones in the System all over the place?
I would keep it in one Family rather than seperating them and they would be seperated in Foster Care, they won't be together. The 16 yrs old, would be moving out not before too long, and he will be on his own. His own Decisions is up to him. All we can do is to give them Guidance and hope all things will work out in the End.
It is easy to steal from poor people. But don't do it. And don't take advantage of those poor people in court. The Lord is on their side. He supports them and he will take things away from any person that takes from them.~ Proverbs 22:22
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DesertSkye
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I certainly don't condone what they are doing in front of him or allowing him to do
but, frustrate dis right
to call CPS would betaking him from the frying pan and throwing him into the fire...in CPS hands...more like the "PIT OF HELL"
and if he is 16 and doing that...even if they weren't
he is more than likely to do it anyway somewhere else
If you have any contact with him you might just tell them
be careful because obviously its illegal and they will be held responsible not only for themsleves but for him
if you talk to them tell them how bad CPS is and if he or they get caught
how bad it could be for all of them
that might open their eyes some
but, frustrate dis right
to call CPS would betaking him from the frying pan and throwing him into the fire...in CPS hands...more like the "PIT OF HELL"
and if he is 16 and doing that...even if they weren't
he is more than likely to do it anyway somewhere else
If you have any contact with him you might just tell them
be careful because obviously its illegal and they will be held responsible not only for themsleves but for him
if you talk to them tell them how bad CPS is and if he or they get caught
how bad it could be for all of them
that might open their eyes some
A wretched soul, bruised with adversity,
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
But were we burdened with like weight of pain,
As much or more we should ourselves complain.
William Shakespeare
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
But were we burdened with like weight of pain,
As much or more we should ourselves complain.
William Shakespeare
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Frustrated
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- Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 11:15 am
- Location: Canada
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That's right...I have seen lots of Teenagers doing it "elsewhere", mostly in the Slums.
I have a Foster Girl about 14 yrs old coming over here, saying that she stays with her Foster Mom and she asks if she can go out with her Friends, and guess what? She is out with a 40 yrs old Man, and she is having a Sex with him, and was drinking Alcohol, and she said she had bad headache, since she had a "hangover". She lied to her Foster Mother to get what she wants.
Now, I personally knew her Birth Mother as she just lives down the block from me....she comes over to visit her Real Mother, and she does it again, she goes around and smoking Ciagarettes, and stuff. I even caught her in the back yard smoking Cigarettes. I told her and scolded her, and she just said "oh well".
This Girl I personally knew for 7 years since we live in the same Neighbourhood as this is a very small Close Knit Town...we look out for each other, even though if we are not related to each other but the Whole Town is related to each other. LOL Anyways, what I am trying to tell you that this Girl I have known for long time, while she was living with her Birth Mother, she never did all of those things....and her Mother had a problem with her because she is turning a Teen, and she is rebelling, and her Mother had enough of her, and just called CPS on her, and gave her up to CPS, and ever since she was in Foster Care, with her Foster Mom, she got worse behaviorally. She is now smoking pot, smoking Cigs, drinking...having Sex with Adult Men, probably unprotected. She said she hates the Foster Care home, as it is pretty strict and she must do what she is told, and she said she felt like a Slave there....but then again, she gets what she wants, she is out there doing it, and more dramatically so. Her Foster Mother could not control her because of her rebellious stage.
Here she tells me she wishes she is back home with her Real Mom.......and she wished she would take back that day, but it is now too late. She is supposed to go back home soon, but CPS is making it impossible for her to do so. Guess what? Her Sister still lives with her Real Mom and she is not even in Foster Care and her younger Sister is Diabetic, and they feel that she should stay with her Birth Mom because of her Health, and CPS fears that if she was taken away, that her Health will diminish due to her Diabetes. So...she stays with her Mom while her Older Sister stays with Foster Mother. This is a typical every day Family to you, always seperated and all over the place...and this one is not the only Family we are having around here, we have lots LIKE THESE....almost in the thousands...with severe problems.
The Front Page of CPS says it all....it breaks Families apart, and it will give Children irreplacable emotional and psch. problems in the long term relationships and generations to come. Yes it is true. We are looking at 50 years of Problems like these....most Children who turns Adults, will have lots of Emotional and Mental Problems and will be calling lots of help like Therapy, Counselling and Prescription Drugs like Anti-depressant pills. But you and I know well enough, that they will resort to Hard Core Drugs, and Drinking....Because CPS put them there. They did not only help these Children, but they have damaged the only Family they know, and damaged their well beings, their emotional welfare, and mental state LONG TERM.
I have a Foster Girl about 14 yrs old coming over here, saying that she stays with her Foster Mom and she asks if she can go out with her Friends, and guess what? She is out with a 40 yrs old Man, and she is having a Sex with him, and was drinking Alcohol, and she said she had bad headache, since she had a "hangover". She lied to her Foster Mother to get what she wants.
Now, I personally knew her Birth Mother as she just lives down the block from me....she comes over to visit her Real Mother, and she does it again, she goes around and smoking Ciagarettes, and stuff. I even caught her in the back yard smoking Cigarettes. I told her and scolded her, and she just said "oh well".
This Girl I personally knew for 7 years since we live in the same Neighbourhood as this is a very small Close Knit Town...we look out for each other, even though if we are not related to each other but the Whole Town is related to each other. LOL Anyways, what I am trying to tell you that this Girl I have known for long time, while she was living with her Birth Mother, she never did all of those things....and her Mother had a problem with her because she is turning a Teen, and she is rebelling, and her Mother had enough of her, and just called CPS on her, and gave her up to CPS, and ever since she was in Foster Care, with her Foster Mom, she got worse behaviorally. She is now smoking pot, smoking Cigs, drinking...having Sex with Adult Men, probably unprotected. She said she hates the Foster Care home, as it is pretty strict and she must do what she is told, and she said she felt like a Slave there....but then again, she gets what she wants, she is out there doing it, and more dramatically so. Her Foster Mother could not control her because of her rebellious stage.
Here she tells me she wishes she is back home with her Real Mom.......and she wished she would take back that day, but it is now too late. She is supposed to go back home soon, but CPS is making it impossible for her to do so. Guess what? Her Sister still lives with her Real Mom and she is not even in Foster Care and her younger Sister is Diabetic, and they feel that she should stay with her Birth Mom because of her Health, and CPS fears that if she was taken away, that her Health will diminish due to her Diabetes. So...she stays with her Mom while her Older Sister stays with Foster Mother. This is a typical every day Family to you, always seperated and all over the place...and this one is not the only Family we are having around here, we have lots LIKE THESE....almost in the thousands...with severe problems.
The Front Page of CPS says it all....it breaks Families apart, and it will give Children irreplacable emotional and psch. problems in the long term relationships and generations to come. Yes it is true. We are looking at 50 years of Problems like these....most Children who turns Adults, will have lots of Emotional and Mental Problems and will be calling lots of help like Therapy, Counselling and Prescription Drugs like Anti-depressant pills. But you and I know well enough, that they will resort to Hard Core Drugs, and Drinking....Because CPS put them there. They did not only help these Children, but they have damaged the only Family they know, and damaged their well beings, their emotional welfare, and mental state LONG TERM.
It is easy to steal from poor people. But don't do it. And don't take advantage of those poor people in court. The Lord is on their side. He supports them and he will take things away from any person that takes from them.~ Proverbs 22:22
Re: i don't know whether to call CPS
sara030blu wrote:I know a couple that have custody of their younger brother (16 yr old) well they smoke pot in front of the children and allow their 16 yr old brother to smoke and drink on a casual basis.
CPS wont get involved in most cases when the children are over the age of 14 because they arent adoptable and by the time they start swooping in, the kid ages out before the TPR and adoption process can be completed. So to say the dont give a shat would be a proper assumption.
As far as the drinking, It depends on what the state law is for drinking. The state that I grew up in, it was up to the parents discretion after a certain age.
As far as the issues at hand. Even though I dont condone pot or giving booze to someone under age, If they arent beating the snot out of him, are starving him to death, or making him sleep with the dogs, leave it be. Its not really abuse in my eyes, just not something I would do or condone, and there is no point in pissing off people, and having CPS invade their lives over something so tedious. As Desert said, at that age, if he is doing it, he would be doing it there or somewhere else anyhow.
Its better to just mind your own business unless you know for a fact and beyond a resonable doubt that the kids life is in immenate danger.
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Frustrated
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Worse Case Scenario:
16 Yrs old being in Foster Care...
He can run away from there....
Runs into Drug Dealer, and asks for Drugs for himself...
Runs into wrong groups of Friends...
Gets in Trouble....
Then gets in trouble with the Law....
Gets Charged...with a Crime....
then back at Square one, doing it all over again....
If he stays in there with his Dyfunctional Family, he won't do all of these....some one else buys the drugs...and he stays put.
Most likely he will move out on his own...becoming an Adult....
Possibly improving himself...
Who knows?
Best to tell the Caregiver's the possiblity of being burned by Cops and CPS coming thru the Door and make more problems for them....not just him but the rest of the Family.
Then once they get charged....and they will be released and they do everything all over again....
It is a Cycle that goes over and over...it never stops there.
The only way that Cops can stop it is to stop the Drug Pusher's and Drug Dealer's...
There are worse Drugs out there like Ecastsy, Heroin, and Cocaine, the hard stuff...
If you push him so far into farther hole, he would seek more harder drugs to drown out his pain...
Find out why they are in pain, maybe a loss of a Parent?
Since the Caregiver's are Brother's and Sisters? No parents?
They have lost alot and death in a Family is much worse and to put them into more pain, is unbearable.
Tell them to get some Help on their own...before they will get themselves in Cops' hands...
I have seen alot like these out there...the ones that stay in a Family versus being in Foster Care, and which one is worst off?
The ones that were placed in Foster Care were worst off than originally said before.
16 Yrs old being in Foster Care...
He can run away from there....
Runs into Drug Dealer, and asks for Drugs for himself...
Runs into wrong groups of Friends...
Gets in Trouble....
Then gets in trouble with the Law....
Gets Charged...with a Crime....
then back at Square one, doing it all over again....
If he stays in there with his Dyfunctional Family, he won't do all of these....some one else buys the drugs...and he stays put.
Most likely he will move out on his own...becoming an Adult....
Possibly improving himself...
Who knows?
Best to tell the Caregiver's the possiblity of being burned by Cops and CPS coming thru the Door and make more problems for them....not just him but the rest of the Family.
Then once they get charged....and they will be released and they do everything all over again....
It is a Cycle that goes over and over...it never stops there.
The only way that Cops can stop it is to stop the Drug Pusher's and Drug Dealer's...
There are worse Drugs out there like Ecastsy, Heroin, and Cocaine, the hard stuff...
If you push him so far into farther hole, he would seek more harder drugs to drown out his pain...
Find out why they are in pain, maybe a loss of a Parent?
Since the Caregiver's are Brother's and Sisters? No parents?
They have lost alot and death in a Family is much worse and to put them into more pain, is unbearable.
Tell them to get some Help on their own...before they will get themselves in Cops' hands...
I have seen alot like these out there...the ones that stay in a Family versus being in Foster Care, and which one is worst off?
The ones that were placed in Foster Care were worst off than originally said before.
It is easy to steal from poor people. But don't do it. And don't take advantage of those poor people in court. The Lord is on their side. He supports them and he will take things away from any person that takes from them.~ Proverbs 22:22
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sara030blu
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wow! I was expecting mixed reactions. I still don't approve of their smoking pot in front of the children because second hand cig. smoke is dangerous I have no idea what marijuana second hand smoke will do. But I do beleive it's better than getting beaten by foster parents.
I just thought it would give them a wake up call since not just myself but many others have told them how awful it is for the children.
Would they immediately take the children away? I know of a couple that were accused of smoking meth in the household, CPS were called and they were just sent to drug counseling. I just don't know what else to do .
I just thought it would give them a wake up call since not just myself but many others have told them how awful it is for the children.
Would they immediately take the children away? I know of a couple that were accused of smoking meth in the household, CPS were called and they were just sent to drug counseling. I just don't know what else to do .
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DesertSkye
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to do
Walk away thats the best thing you cando
If it helps think of it this way
IF he is doing it somewhere else he could endanger himself or others
he is at home not in danger
and no I don't condone it
but don't throw him from the frying pan into the fire
You will have worse things to have to live with that might happen to him...it will ruin his life more than you can imagine
and when he has kids
he will be on file and they will come after his kids
we see it on here all the time
kids who have been in foster care etc
when they grow up
CPS comes after them
it never ends
its not so simple as oh they just had to go to drug counseling
and I can bet those other people you mentioned CPS is not out of their lives
It just gives them access to them now those people have a file and you can almost bet they are constantly being watched
If it helps think of it this way
IF he is doing it somewhere else he could endanger himself or others
he is at home not in danger
and no I don't condone it
but don't throw him from the frying pan into the fire
You will have worse things to have to live with that might happen to him...it will ruin his life more than you can imagine
and when he has kids
he will be on file and they will come after his kids
we see it on here all the time
kids who have been in foster care etc
when they grow up
CPS comes after them
it never ends
its not so simple as oh they just had to go to drug counseling
and I can bet those other people you mentioned CPS is not out of their lives
It just gives them access to them now those people have a file and you can almost bet they are constantly being watched
A wretched soul, bruised with adversity,
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
But were we burdened with like weight of pain,
As much or more we should ourselves complain.
William Shakespeare
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
But were we burdened with like weight of pain,
As much or more we should ourselves complain.
William Shakespeare
The rule of thumb I live by is I would never call CPS no matter what, under any circumstances. There is nothing about these people that's professional or competent. If I feel a child is in serious danger of harm (and I mean serious, not maybe), I will call the police, at least they are trained, not that I trust the police either. Anything else and it's not my business, regardless of my own feelings about what I think is proper parenting behavior.
We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty. We must remember always that accusation is not proof and that conviction depends upon evidence and due process of law. Edward R. Murrow
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