Don't have time for this

[AllForThisSite]

My Aunt and I have not been on speaking terms in months, and she stopped by last week unannounced hoping I would talk to her so that we could resolve things between us. When she knocked on the door and I saw who it was, I just went about my business and didn't bother to go to the door. She left pretty ticked off that I was home and didn't answer the door and welcome her in, so in retaliation for my not answering the door, she called CPS and told them this:

1. I don't cook for my kids
2. My house is not clean
3. I have a cat in the house
4. She thinks my husband and I are on drugs
5. My oldest son sleeps in the livingroom on a palette in the floor because there is a pile of clothes on his bed
6. My 4-year-old daughter does not have her own bed, nor does she have her own bedroom
7. My husband leaves at 8PM at night and doesn't return home until 2AM
8. I've lost a lot of weight
9. Our home has broken windows
10. Our door is hanging on by the hinges
11. I sleep all day
12. I have drug-dealers coming in and out of my house
13. Our friends come in and out of my house all day and night and we party all night

The social worker that came out here told us that the only thing she was concerned about was this:

1. Cleanliness of the home
2. Checking to make sure the windows in our home were not broken
3. Having us take a drug-test to prove we are not doing drugs (and she wanted us to name off the medications my husband and I are taking that are prescribed, including over-the-counter meds because she says it's for the drug-test. We didn't tell her anything other than: "telling our personal medical information is an invasion of privacy and the HIPPA law protects a person's medical information, including MEDICATIONS.
4. She's also concerned about my daughter not having her own room because we live in a 2 bedroom mobile home.

My husband told her that he was not going to dispute, let alone open our lives for an investigation over "hearsay," and that he would consult an attorney before either of us or our children would speak to her again.

When CPS was here 15 months ago because my ex-husband tried to accuse my husband of being on drugs, CPS tried the whole drug-test thing and my husband told them he wouldn't take it without CPS obtaining a court order. When he told the CPS worker that, they never mentioned him taking a drug-test again, but they did refer our case over to another worker calling it "CASE MANAGEMENT" and it just extended the investigation on us from 30 days to 4 months. This time we told the CPS worker the same thing about the drug-test: "not without a court order."

My husband told the CPS worker to leave our home "4" times and neither time did she bother to leave until I told her: "He's asked you to leave 4 times and after the second time it's considered illegal trespass." The worker got up and left after that but added, "I'll be in touch with you Monday." My husband told her, "If you hear from me at all it will be after I talk to my attorney," and she said "If I don't hear from you Monday, I'll be back to visit with you all again," and she left. While she was here she even tried to get us to let her go to the school and question my son and I told her it was illegal for her to do that without my husband or myself or our attorney being present. She seemed to scratch the idea, but I don't trust that she won't try it. I don't know why she needs to talk to our son anyway.

I do not want to go through this crap again. I am not about to prove, dispute, or sort through what's true or what's a lie just because I don't want a relationship with my Aunt anymore and she got mad and called CPS with a crap-filled story. We learned on this site last time, and have learned from police officers in our family since then, that we do not have to submit to these investigations at all and that we have the right to tell these CPS people to leave our property and not come back, and there is nothing they can do about it. We've been told that we don't have to allow them in our house or even talk to them, and that they can't take our kids because we refuse to let them investigate.

Even though we've been told by police officers in our family that we don't have to let them in or talk to them or allow CPS to investigate, I still worry that if we don't cooperate that we might be in for even more problems or they might try to take our kids from us until we do what they say. Any comforting words anyone? Can anyone offer any other great information we should know based on what was called-in and reported in our case?

Thanks!!

AllForThisSite

[Frustrated]

Hi there, it s been a long time since I have heard from you. Thought they would leave you alone for good. But anyone that has previous cases with them, it would be endless.

I do feel for you, and will keep you and your family in my prayers. I am also going through another wringer as well, 8th case all because of my Parents. We are not on talking terms either. They called my hubby just because they "don't like him". That is all what it is. I was forced to make a report by my parents, as they threatened me to do so, or in their own words "I will cut you off of my Will and you get nothing and you will never get my support ever again." I said "okay..." then I told them to leave and never speak to them ever again. That was the end of it. I endured verbal abuse from my own parents. I had to choose and I know that my hubby is the right one because my Parents are pretty mean to me.

Anyhow, you and me, here once again. It will be endless. Until my Kids turns 16, they will leave us alone. So about 9 more years to go with more persecution and harrassment with these ruthless and rude CPS People.

What's new? eh?

[good dad]

Any comforting words anyone? Can anyone offer any other great information we should know based on what was called-in and reported in our case?

I'm sure they will go to the schools and pull them out and question them..If they are in public school they, legally, can.

Print off the cards at this site and if CPS shows up at school, all they have to do is hand them to the investigator, tell them to not say a word to the worker, just hand them the card and smile.

http://home.sc.rr.com/nbhsa/reversemiranda.htm

If CPS isn't there on Monday, they probably will be there Tuesday.
They don't like being told to get out and will go behind your back just to tick you off or dig something up..

Good luck

[AllForThisSite]

Hi Frustrated and Good Dad.

We are just tired of opening up our home and our lives to prove or disprove allegations that have been made against us.

Funny FRUSTRATED that you should say you feel like you have to wait until your kids are 16 before you are left alone by CPS because I made the statement last time to our worker that it would be until our children were 18 that the calls stopped for us. That is the reason we are not giving in this time.

...There is nothing in the case report that constitutes abuse or neglect of any kind, and I see no point in continuing to allow our family to go through this abuse of being investigated because somebody is mad at us and this is how they play "GET BACK."

Saying that "I don't cook" does not conclude the same thing as "I don't feed my kids." The statement "I don't cook" is an open statement that can be determined by our own reception of what we've heard to mean:

"I don't know how to cook," or
"I microwave my food instead of *cook* it on my stove," or
"If I can get out of cooking, I'll eat sandwiches all week to do it,"

But it doesn't constitute the absolute, without a doubt, definition and meaning of: "the kids are not being fed." Seems like the caller would have said "the kids are not being fed" if that was the case.

Now if the social worker wants to believe in HER mind that "I don't cook" means "I don't feed my kids" then she is making up her own mind as to the meaning of what the caller said when she made that statement, therefore, has no right to be here because the rest of the report is crap and has nothing to do with my kids what-so-ever, but moreover about my actions and lifestyle as an adult. ...And Adult Social Services isn't going to knock on my door over a report like that either.

As for suspected drug-use... Me peeing in a cup or offering one of my veins for a blood specimen doesn't prove or disprove whether or not I do drugs. I could go to Wal-mart and buy some over-the-counter medication, or drink loads of water, or cut off all drug-use and pass a blood or urine test; but it doesn't mean because I pass the test that I'm not using drugs. Seeing me use drugs, finding drug paraphernalia, having a history of drug-use, constitutes positively without question that I use drugs--not a drug test.

My Aunt was very desperate and obviously grabbing at straws to perk the eyebrow of the CPS Intake worker or else there wouldn't have been so much crap on the report about us. She must have thrown the "suspected drug-use" thing in there, and/or the "nasty house" thing in there, because the rest of what she had to say didn't validate the Intake worker sending a CPS agent to our home. Yes, Intake workers will tell callers that what they've reported doesn't validate their reason to investigate a family if what they've reported doesn't meet the investigative criteria. I think that is wrong for the Intake worker to do because they just open up the door for the caller to lie and say other things if what they've already said isn't going to get the needle buried under their rivals skin for 30 to 45 days.

The last CPS worker that was here told us the following when we were talking about crazy things people call-in to CPS: "what report don't we get that includes the parent or guardian having a nasty house.... that's one of the first things callers will say, ranking right up there with how they assume the parent or guardian is on drugs."

So these CPS agents know that a nasty house and suspected drug-use are the 2 things people will say just to get the ball rolling to harass somebody for fun and retaliation, and being that they know that, I'm not going to submit to that petty crap. The report doesn't say I beat my kids, that I don't feed them, that I don't supervise them, nor does it say that I send them into public filthy and stinking, so we don't see a need to prove or disprove why I've lost weight, if we are on drugs, if we keep a nasty house, or why my husband leaves at 8pm to return at 2am, or that because two of friends happen to be black and they visit us that it makes them drug-dealers. It's stupid.

Are they going to drug-test our black friends to see if they are on drugs? If they are on drugs, is that my fault? Are they going to set-up a serveillance team outside of our black friends' houses to see if they have any drug activity going on? If my black friends ARE drug dealers, does it mean that I KNOW they deal drugs?

For all CPS knows, these 2 black people that have come to my home could be here laying carpet, doing carpentry work, looking at my home stereo equipment because they are interested in buying it. Since when is it a crime to have black friends? Since when are black people not allowed to visit the home of white people? All I can is that my Aunt and CPS better hope that they haven't landed themselves a nice discrimination lawsuit.

AllForThisSite

[Frustrated]

Oh I know....I am TIRED of this too, in fact it is harrassment. They say all kinds of things saying that my Kids "WITNESSED" something but they were at School when this went down! She said to me "But the Children witnessed it". I said how is that possible if they were at school? Then she goes on changing venues saying that they are witnessing OVER THE YEARS.
Ohhh yah...that's the pattern they are looking for. Why would they wait one year and discuss the case now? Why not discuss the case with me LAST YEAR? She probably would say "oh i wasn't notified properly and now I was notified by the police just now."

Why would they come back for little pesty disagreement between me and my hubby about our martial affairs? Not our relationship is their business. Are they married with us? No. Are the Children abused or negelcted? No. Did they witness something? NO.
Many couples disagree once in a while about money, life, home, and whatnots. Since when they don't disagree? Oh yes I just remembered, they are SO PERFECT! So they never get a minus dollars off their bank accounts or never skipped a loan payment or bounced the check? Since when they are so perfect when it comes to their life and work? They are always perfect, no matter what. They seem to think we are poor and not so perfect that we need to be fixed in THEIR OWN WAY and THEIR IDEAS. "oh you better do this lifestyle like mine, and you will be better off."

Like my Grandmother used to say, "Everyone has their own problems, it is the kinds that bites in their butt so they have to learn their mistakes and move on."
These CPS people would make sure you don't move on by bothering you over and over...Oh this is not right, do this one my way...So are they our parents now?

Just endless harrassment. That's why I stress to document, document, and cc. to everyone to make sure they can't lie their way out of it.

[Frustrated]

Oh I forgot to mention that my Lawyer had told me to do:
If the person that you don't want at your house, you can call the Police saying you have "UNWANTED" PERSONS at your house and they are trespassing on your property and you want them off your private property.

My Lawyers said it can be anybody you want, including CPS People. Just say "UNWANTED PERSONS" and they will come and check what's up? and they can make CPS People leave the property.

Something you woulda have done to your Aunt. When she comes again, call the police and tell her to get lost.
I would write a letter telling her that you are cutting off ties with her permanently.
I just did that with several relatives who called on me. They are going to regret they ever did the call on that day to you.

[AllForThisSite]

Hi Frustrated.

You sound like you are going through the same junk my husband's cousin is going through. I just found out last night from my mother-in-law that while she was visiting with her nephew (hubby's cousin) that he told her that he and his wife had just been reported to CPS too AND his sister got reported. So the 3 of us all got reported the SAME DAY!! Whether it was by the same person or not, we don't know that yet; but we all 3 had a CPS worker in our house on the same day with matching reports against us.

Because of what he and his wife told my MIL about what was going on with them, she told him about the thing going on with us and CPS. Her nephew told her that the CPS people here were at his house every single week for 6 months, and they were saying that their visits were a representation of how many calls they were getting against him and his wife. After 6 months of the junk, he goes directly to the CPS office and asks to speak to the supervisor to find out what he can do to make the harassment stop. The supervisor told him to move to another county and maybe that might end the calls for him and his family.

They moved 2 months ago and the CPS workers in that county have been at his door every-single-day with a new report--just like they were doing when he lived in this county. He said the worker down there in the new county told him, "We are getting calls EVERYDAY against you and your wife for beating the kids, not feeding the kids, and having a nasty house; I mean EVERYday there is a new call against you guys. Is there anyway that you can move to put a stop to whomever might be doing this to you all?"

It's sad when CPS asks you to move, but it's also stupid that they continue to keep knocking on your door everyday or every other day with reports they know aren't even true because they were just there the day before talking to you.

Anyways... This happens to be one of those fortunate times for us in that we know who called CPS, so we have room to take legal action against the person who did this to us.

My husband's Aunt ran into my Aunt and my step-Uncle at the grocery store Friday and my Aunt admitted to my husband's Aunt that she called CPS on us because "somebody needed to change my attitude and knock me off my high horse." What a hell of a thing to say!!!

Not only that, but when my grandfather called me Saturday, he told me that my Aunt called him and asked him to call CPS on me and he said he told her to "mind her own damn business" and that he "didn't believe my husband or I would do anything bad against our kids" like the things she was saying we did. He also told her QUOTE:

"If I thought my grand-daughter wasn't being a good mother, I don't need to call no-damn-body..., I'd go tell her what I thought about the way she was raising them kids."

My grandfather said she told him: "Well if you don't, I'm going to. Maybe a good scare is what she needs to realize that she needs her family around her."

I'd love to get my grandfather over here if and when the CPS worker comes back here just so she can hear that this is retaliation and spite work, and nothing else. Then again.., I don't really even think that it would matter if my Aunt showed up here in person and told the CPS worker that it was all a fat lie on her part to get back at me because these CPS workers are all like: "It doesn't matter if it's true or not, we have to be here 30 days." JERKS!

AllForThisSite

[Frustrated]

Whoa, unbelievable. I know it is endless harrassment. Even if we move, it follows us. Better just stay put and fight these people out. The more we fight harder, and smarter, the more effective it would be. I would document their lies and repeat their lies back to them. I would take their words and confirm their lies back to them.

For example:

"You had stated to me on the phone on March 1st, that you said you had visited my kids and that everything was good." or "you had stated in your email that you said that my Children had witnessed something on Feb. 4th, 2006."

You know, make them confirm that indeed they said that.

They would tell you "Oh I never said that." but too bad it is all on document paper which I have now. They can't take back the words. Then they would change it around trying to put in more reasons to harrass us. They know they don't have any concrete evidence or proof to do so. Even a Court order would not be granted because their evidence is weak at best.

Document their lies and make sure other person knows it too. Mail it back to her Supervisor or her Director which I did.

Now I heard the Supervisor of that Agency just up and quit, now she is currently working in the Foster Care System.

[florida999]

it must be horrible when it is your own family that does this to you.

those type of relatives your probably better off not having them in you lives.

in regards to the not cooking. I dont cook either, my husband does all the cooking. can I cook-yes. I just hate it. when my husband and I separated for a few months a couple years back my freezer was stocked with tv dinners. maybe not the healthist way to go, but my daughter ate every day.

[Frustrated]

I can cook, just lazy. I can cook 35 lbs turkey if I wanted to. It's the prepration that sucks. The problem is that we got too much food, than exactly the opposite.

AS LONG THE KIDS ARE BEING FED, that's all it matters.

I remember my next door neighbour was checked for food, and CPS Worker told her:

"Eggs, Bread, Peanut Butter, Ham, Milk" ARE GOOD ENOUGH! That's what CPS Worker told her. I cannot imagine just living on these, but rather eat more than that. I can't imagine this CPS Worker checked her cupboards and told her that these ingredients are required and that's good enough. Where's the proper nutrients?

Anyways, as long the Kids eat something, that's all it matters, on an everyday basis.

[Frustrated]

The problem with relatives are similar to mine, and what I do is just divorce them and do not talk, and move on. Yes it is better off in the long run, and the more they don't know about your situation in your home or the situations, they can't call CPS and say this or that...unless if they can hit jackpot.

I know it is horrible that relatives do to you and me, I don't understand why, but then again, I do know the source of this. This world has gone bonkers, messed up if you will and people are ruining themselves for the worst, they would attack each other even down to relatives. The Love there isn't there, and that's the problem. All we need is Love and Understanding, this would never had happened in the first place.

[AllForThisSite]

The CPS worker hasn't been back here since my husband told her to leave and not come back. It's been a week now, but I'm not saying that I believe we won't see her again; there's no doubt in my mind that she'll be back.., eventually.

Every time I hear what sounds like a vehicle coming down the road, roaring up our driveway, or a bump that sounds like a car door closing, my heart sinks, thinking it might be her again, or someone else CPS has sent out to "try his or her luck" at convincing us to let them into our lives.

I don't expect this thing to go away this easy.... We just carry on with our lives around here right now as if we can expect a strange knock at the door anytime. Trust me..., we ARE open to expect just about anything right now.

AllForThisSite

[Frustrated]

Car driving up roaring, and bumps due to our pot holes, dogs a-coming barking, children crying, and door shut loudly, pitter patter of her shoes slips on ice, catches her breath, walks up and...

WENT TO THE WRONG DOOR! Then she proceeds to our door, knocks instead of ringing our door bell , looks through our window, "oh for christ sakes, it is her again- heart skips faster and beating faster.....", opens the door, "what?" Can I come in the house?
"No".
"She looks expersperated and tries to explain her reason for being there".

"I am here to discuss the allegations against you for blah blah from a phone call to our agency"

And you know the rest.

I know this too well, and yes, it does consume you and it is stressful. Anyone who has cases with them, always would feel this way and it will always stay with them for a long time. We would rest easier when the Kids are older and we will have a sigh of relief. The sad thing is, that we may have to wait for 10 more years of this crap. Too stressful for our health and they just don't care.