Another Headache...

[tnradmom]

The person doing teh assessment is one of DCS's goons. We can't pay for the assessment and it is court ordered in teh case involving my stepson. We have fully cooperated this whole time with DCS and it ahs done nothing but hurt. Now my step son is telling me that the foster mom told him I hit him all the time. His full blooded sister said she doesn't want him to come home because when he was home it was crazy and stressful. My 2 yo won't let him touch any of the toys on visitation and even chased him out of the room.

My 3yo is developing anxiety type behaviors after he sees his half brother. J's sister has nightmares when she has been exposed to him. The other two girls don't care.

My stepson has attachment issues. They have severed any bond that was there. They have turned him against our family values and make fun of God and church to him. They have called us liars and said that the assessment that was done on him was distorted.

I know nobody can tell me what to do. I suppose ultimately my question is....

Can the results of the clinical assessment be used to take the 5 kids that are still at home with us? There is no physical evidence showing any abuse with them. They are all in church and we are involved in the community. I just need to know legally can they take the kids if we do the assessment.

[Roni Shawn]

I feel that each child has their own temperment, and it depends on the kind of discipline; what will work for that specific child. I had child temperment training, and that is one thing that I did learn from them. And really, its common sense. We ALL know that we cant beat our children within an inch of their llife--we dont want to hurt them nor do we want to go to JAIL! LOL. But a good whoopin on the hiney wouldnt hurt them a bit. As long as that specific form of discipline works for that child. (I feel like I was just rambling--was I? LOL)

[tnradmom]

I agree completely. I have two that all I gotta do is look at them sternly and they will act as if I beat them within an inch of their live. Then I have two that it wouldn't matter is they were almost dead from a whoopin, they would still smart off and misbehaving. Then there are two that a spanking works.

The sad thing is that the way lobbyists have gotten laws pushed through it makes it illegal to parent our children. That and they do it secretly and most parents do know what is and isn't legal when it comes to rearing our kids.

I won't spank any more. Not because I think it's wrong but because I know CPS and DCS will be watching until my kids are much older. At least until Feb 09.

[Roni Shawn]

I hear ya. My sister would NEVER spank her boys (and they are turd muffins). And they KNEW why: Because "if mom spanks us, we can call CPS on her and get taken away! So she will NEVEr spank us!" If the child/ren get wind of that, they use it to manipulate us. OY them lkil buggers are smart, arent they?!

[Frustrated]

That's because CPS told them "how to" evade mommy's rules at School, they handed the Children cards of hotline numbers to call them if they "don't like something", CALL THEM!!! If Kids don't like doing the chores, and gets away with it, they call CPS. If they don't like the rules, they call CPS. It is learning "How to's" get away with it. Children are learning about it and really fast.

But...what they don't get is the truth, that they will be taken away if that were to happen. They did not get the other side of the truth. They found out the hard way. And tries to retract it, and by then, it would be too late.
Kids gets snookered by its own people, "trust me, I am your friend" or "I can help you". Kids found out the hard way and regretted it ever since.

Kids should know the truth, and its consquences if they were to call CPS, they would think twice of what happens if they don't want to do the chores, or don't want to follow the rules, or simply wants to get away with curfew time, that they would be placed in Foster Care or with other Relatives that has more stricter rules than Mom's. Now they are crying about it and should have listened to mom. These are the teenagers I talked to who were placed in Foster Care and she didn't like it too much. All because she called on her mom. She pleaded to go back to her mom, and it took her about 9 months before she finally went back to her mom. Ever since, she was nice to her Mom and follow her rules this time.

[tnradmom]

hehe... kids should know the truth yep... they should. Sad thing there is in a case like mine my girls smart off to the CM in defense of me. That is why we are under scrutiny... it's not because we are abusing the kids it's because my kids stand up for what they believe is right. Which my two girls don't think any of this is right. MY sd doesn't have the arrogance to stand up, but she doesn't agree with it all the same.

And thus. personality clashes with DCS/CPS or police detectives is not a good thing. They will come after you harder.

[mom2boys]

My 4/5 year old completly remembers the day the lady walked up and asked him ' are you afraid of your mommy' (he said NO!)...he now knows that during a tantrum he can get attention, so its been a strange situation since it happened last year. He does not understand all that went on ...(the little ones never do)...but having his mommy approached by 3 county police officers and questioned (and crying histerically) sure was shock for him. I DREAD the day we are out and he wants a toy etc...and starts screaming...then says 'im afraid of my....'gag'....<sigh>

Damb them for 'intervening' when my son had a tantrum and was screaming- I told him to schuch and tapped his cheek!! damb the social worker teenybopper and her trainee!!!!

[tnradmom]

Ever since the day CPS stepped in to our lives my 2yo baby that has developmental delays and is a heart baby stopped talking. He is now 26.5 months old and has 5 regular words. At 16-18 months he was between 15-20 words. In fact, the delays didn't show up until CPS pulled their crap. If one doctor or therapist will go on record and say that his delay may be from this crap... Oh I will ream them.

Anyhow... in our case I can't talk about it because of what the lawyer is trying to get done right now. I really feel bad about it too... but we have to do it.