Court- working towards reunification

[Stitchwitch D]

We had court today.

Since our landlord won't fix things, we're not paying rent so we can use the money for a new place. We're looking, but we might be staying with friends for a bit.

Because of this, it really wasn't an option to get the kids back immediately. We need to find clean, safe, stable housing, and get moved in. My husband was hoping the kids could go to his mom's, but CPS shot that down. On the bright side, the reason the judge gave for not putting them with their Nana was that she felt keeping them in local foster care was more conductive for reunification. She said that if they were going to be in care long-term, she'd consider it, but that she hopes we'll get our kids back soon.

The main things we need to do are psych evals, getting a new place to live, keep it clean, continue counseling and show up for visitations so they can see if we can adequately supervise our kids.

I'm nervous about the psych evals, I've heard that most parents are found to have some kind of "personality disorder", although I've also heard that the MMPA was designed in Minnesota in the 1950's, so if you think like a typical Minnesotan in the 1950's, you'll do well. I'm from Minnesota, so maybe I have an advantage.

I'm nervous about the cleaning too, because my father is a neat-freak with OCD and I'm worried I'll have to start thinking like him in order to keep the house clean enough for them, and I don't want to be like him. They keep telling me they don't expect perfection, but then they say my best efforts are barely adequate. When we get the new place, I might leave anything we don't use everyday in storage until CPS is out of our lives.

We have a family team meeting next week, I'm hoping more will be resolved then.

[lostintranslation]

With the psych eval, just watch for the times where you are asked the same question, several times, just worded differently. Those questions are there to trip people up (for various reasons). If the evaluator wants to do inkblots with you, tell him that you have researched inkblots. Legally, the inkblots can not be given at that point. Research them now before the evals so you won't be lying at the eval. Then, you can also say, on card number such and such, if I say it looks like .....then I'm normal but if I say it looks like this, then I'm a sexual defiant. Evaluators can NOT give you the test after you say something like this. We got lucky with our evaluator. He doesn't use inkblots at all anymore because as he said, 'they are not accurate and innocent people get screwed all the time because of their answers on the inkblots'. Even the evaluator cps had didn't use inkblots anymore.

Your case seems to be moving along nicely. I know it's not fast enough but if all they are worried about at this time, is you getting a place, maintain it, and the evals, you are definitely on the right track to a speedy reunification. Check your local social service to see if they offer assistance with the initial downpayment on an apartment. See if your caseworker will request discretionary funds for the initial downpayment on your new home. Once you are in the system, so to speak, use the monies available to families with kids in care, to get them out of care asap. I know it's hard to ask THEM for help but by law, they are required to provide the help as long as you are doing what needs to be done to be reunified with your children. And obviously, you are. I bet the judge was thinking to herself, 'hurry up and get this new place so i dont have to see you again' or something along those lines. It sounds like the judge was routing for you.

Good luck

[rlfroo]

Stitch,

I have a web site for you to help you with your home organization. WWW.flylady.net. I have shared this with many parents and I can't tell you how much it has helped them. I wish you the best in all of this. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to get your kids back, you will be in my prayers

[lostintranslation]

I LOVE flylady.com. I have sent many people there and it has helped them!! rlfroo...do you run it ?