Going to trial, really depressed

[Marina07]

Bad news today. Despite my exboyfriend's lawyer trying to get the case dismissed, it's going to trial at family court.....in march, for 2 days! The DA chose not to prosecute, they don't feel that there is enough evidence. The only thing they have is what my daughter has said, and the "expert" witness, so just DSS is taking this to trial. It's not going to be criminal court though, which is the only good news.

My exboyfriend is heartbroken, and I could really use some advice, words of wisdom. It's already been 3 months for him without his kids, having to see them only twice a week for a couple hours, and their grandmother is destroying them. She refuses to let them see me, and I was like a mom to the two of them because their mom is in jail. She is doing everything in her power to try and get custody of them. The kid's mom is in jail, and will be there for at least another 3 years, and the grandmother was more of a mother than she was. The grandmother printed out some things from my myspace, trying to say my exboyfriend and I were seeing eachother and I was bringing my daughter to see him. It took me two months to change my page and get all the pictures of us off because I don't use myspace much. My daughter has not seen him once, and this is somebody she considers to be her daddy, it kills me to hear her saying she misses him, and when can she see him.

And, for anyone who has been reading my situation, my exboyfriend's lawyer noticed something in the police report. My daughter kept saying it happened in the bathroom upstairs. My exboyfriend doesn't HAVE a bathroom upstairs, but my parents do. I am almost wondering if my dad may have abused her now, it seems he is doing everything he can to take the blame off him and put it on my exboyfriend. He's calling him a pervert, trying to get on her absent father's good side telling him that my exboyfriend did this, and he needs to go after him too, the list goes on. My dad is not a good person, and I feel so upset that I trusted him for even a second!! This whole thing is a mess, I don't know how we're going to get through the next 3 months. My exboyfriend can't even afford counseling because he's still paying for his kids tuition to school, which is around $650/month, plus paying for his lawyer. I feel like this is never going to end, and there's been so much diappointment that I can't see a happy end at this point.

The worst part is, it turns out the person doing my daughter's sexual abuse evaluation is known for saying a child is abused no matter what. Her testimony has been thrown out more times than it's been used.

My life is falling apart because I was too stupid and naive to realize they wouldn't be looking for the truth, they'd be looking to get somebody.

[mommyx3b]

I am so sorry. I have read your story. Just hang in there, and focus on your daughter. Pehaps a restraing order against your dad would be a step in the right direction.It would show you want to protect your daughter, and help get them to focus on hin instead of your ex.

[katgotsteve]

Marina
to be honest, it would suprise me if they didnt take it to family court. it becomes a matter of them covering their butts. if they take it to court and do not have any evidence, then it is the judge who through it out and they are not to blame if something bad happens. in my case it was the judge that kept it alive and all cps tried to do is pacify me until the court order lapsed.
the hearing he is having should be an ajudicatory hearing, it is a equal to a guilt/innocent hearing in criminal court only difference is evidence level.
here is what helped my family when we went to court
1. a psychosexual exam for your ex
2. an evaluation from an expert other than the cps expert
3. a clean bill of health from you psychologist for your daughter and you
this can drag on for years, in my case i made alot of noise to any agency that would listen, i was sending out 60 letters a month, getting advice from judges in other jurdictions, contacting different family organizations in my state, going above everyone's head at dfacs, contacting the governor and first lady, i even wrote letters to the other county dfacs offices and got advice from them. the local dfacs office hated to even hear my name when i finished with them. it has been over 4 months now, the only contact they have had with me is to apoligize for the ordeal and say they hope to never see or hear from again.
hang in there, he has time to prepare. i am not one for pushing the limits, but you may want to contact him and offer some of this advice, even if it is through a third party. you may contact his attorney and leave a message and tell him a few things about your father or if you do not want to drag the past with your father up, you may just call and tell him what you feel about it.
please know this is just advice and i am not trying to push anything on you, i just hate to have some one live through false allegations. it is devestating to the mind and soul and so many people end up suffering.

[Marina07]

All this advice helps so much. This is exactly what his lawyer suggested, getting advice from others who have been wrongfully accused, or has dealt with CPS and DSS.

All my daughter's medical history will go to my ex's lawyer, including her psychologist saying that she does not believe she was sexually abused, and that there is no psychologist who would be able to determine if she was. The "psychologist" doing her evaluation isn't even licensed, so I know that will come into play too. She introduced herself to me as a psychologist, but you need a license to actually BE a psychologist.

I've emailed some lawyers, psychologists, and social workers who are 100% against my daughter's evaluator's methods for determining sexual abuse, and are more than willing to help our case. I also put my ex's lawyer in touch with a local psychologist, who is licensed, and is against this evaluators methods. Another psychologist I talked to was wondering why other possibilities, other than just my ex abusing her, were not looked into for what my daughter said. And everyone is already aware that my dad is a psycho, every lawyer involved, and even my daughter's law guardian. And she did say one weird thing about him.

I will probably be meeting with my ex's lawyer with my own lawyer sometime in the near future. My lawyer made it clear in court that I had thought CPS was looking for the truth, when instead, I'm being dragged through endless interviews involving my daughter, and that I am very concerned about the evaluator they are using. From reading about this evaluator, it seems that some of the interviewing techniques she uses have often been called more damaging than any abuse. Great! I really am angry with CPS and DSS, but I am fighting, and finding answers. If my ex ends up being found guilty of anything, our family will be torn apart forever, and that is almost too scary to even think about.

[debbiescalese]

Something to consider if this psychologist is unlicesened she must be working under somebody called a "supervised psychologist" you can complian to that person. If she is unlicesened and not supervised yet treating patients that is against the law. that is like if I said to you so your having gull bladder problems, I have a degree in bio and took loads of anatomy classes, let me cut you open and take it out for you! I'm clearly not qualified or licesned to do that so it is practicing medicine with out a licesence way illegal! You can press charges for practicing with out a licsence.

[Marina07]

She doesn't have a supervisor, she works as a professor at a college, and she is in private practice. Her career is that of an expert witness and interviewer of children, particularly young children.

I actually want to press charges if she is indeed not licensed. And I checked the board of education, and my psychologist is on there, my daughter's psychologist is on there, but not her, in fact, I couldn't find a license for her in anything. And YET, I was told by investigators that she was the evaluating psychologist so I was mislead, and my daughter was talked to about something very sensitive. I am BEYOND angry, and I don't know how I will hold myself together if she decides to finish her validation on my daughter. I have no say, either, if she decides to go forward with the validation, but I am requesting my daughter's law guardian and my own lawyer to be present. She has gotten away with this on some pretty big cases, and talks like she knows her stuff, so people didn't question her when she said she was a psychologist. It wasn't until these cases were appealed was her credentials brought up, and her testimony thrown out.

[debbiescalese]

Here are 2 things I did with the evaluator in my daughters case first I googled "WV board of psychologists" that shot me to the board website. I read everything on there and found out what the WV code was that covered licesening it was printed right on the site. Then I read that. You need to almost build a case against her. If she is not licesened call the board and tell them the problem they are usually very helpful especally when they find out somebody is representing themself as a "professional" when in fact they are not. They will tell you how to proceed. When I called them to get the license number of the quack that did my daughters they gave me the number told me that she had a previous complaint what it was when it was that there were others involved that no action was taken then when I explained my situation the sent me the paper work to file a complaint and suggested that I provide them with further info cause it sounded like something they needed to look into.

[Marina07]

Thanks, I went to the NY state board of education. On the site they had a number or email to get in touch with someone about filing a formal complaint when someone is claiming to be a psychologist but is not. I even went to a site that lists psychologists, and she is not on there, but various other psychologists, including my own, were.

My only question is, how does she get away with this!? How can an unlicensed psychologist interview children over and over again. Is it just that nobody catches on!?

The only thing that worries me is that is says that there is an excemption to the rule when dealing with govt agencies, I'm assuming they are talking about dfcs, cps, dss. But I emailed them, and will call again during regular business hours.

[debbiescalese]

They probably know that this woman is practicing without a licesence and nobody has attempted to stop her or filed a formal complaint. There was a woman in NJ she was licesenced and she was having young children say taht they were sexually abused when in fact they were not. For over 20 years people knew this woman was doing this and nobody said anything about it till somebody filed a law suit against her. Same deal with my daughters evaluator. Every social worker I've come in contact with and a few therapists have said to me they don't trust her reports and usually require another to varify what she has reported because they find her work off. Yet this woman only has one complaint that happened in 2000 and no action was taken and it was a seperate issue not the one that keeps happening over and over. Why? because if nobody complains it can't be investigated and lets face it most people who deal with cps are poor and uneducated they don't know to go on the computer and find the complaint form. They just complain to others who can't do anything like family and friends but make no attempt to fix things. When somebody comes along and does do the work to file a complaint cps gets ticked and doesn't know how to deal with you cause your not the typical client so they label you as working against them and make you look bad. So if you stick up for yourself and do the right thing your a difficult client and they can't work with you, or if you lay down and take it up the butt so to speak your a bad parent who doesn't care and abuses and neglects your children. Either way your screwed just by having them knock on the door. So at least go out fighting at least then you have half a chance.

I'll find the psychologists name in NJ that got busted for fraud for you so you can look into that and see what the parents did there maybe it will help.

[debbiescalese]

The woman's name is Marsha Kleinman.
Here is a link to one of the news stories there is more on the internet about her google "Marsha Kleinman play therapist"

http://www.dailybusinessreview.com/news ... s_id=45292

[Marina07]

The greatest thing is, there is nothing they could possibly have on me. And I think that's the problem with my ex too, we're both squeaky clean, so they are trying to find anything they possibly can against us, and are coming up empty handed. And the worst part for them, we both have college degrees, and I have a degree in psychology to boot, so I know how interviews are supposed to be conducted, and this was done very poorly. Talking to me before my daughter was their first mistake, most investigators are extremely biased when they talk to the parent of the alleged victim first. They will then question the child until they say what the parent says they had said. The second thing was, I asked about video camera's during the interview, they said they wouldn't video tape. During her last interview, I pretended to be lost, and wandered into different rooms and found the camera room and even caught the investigator looking over the interview! They still claim they have no such video tapes, but I saw them.

His ex-wife's mom sent them my myspace page, which had a picture of my daughter with my dog, that I had given to my ex after I moved into my apartment and couldn't keep her. She tried to claim I was bringing my daughter over to see him. She ended up looking really stupid when I told everyone the picture was taken the day I bought the puppy, and it was at the pet store. And I had given him the dog when I moved into the apartment, and thought that it might be a nice pet for his kids....considering everything they are going through. Him and I can talk all we want, as long as my daughter is nowhere near him, so they had nothing once again.

I am definitely filing a formal complaint, my lawyer is no help, a public appointed one, so I am taking a lot into my own hands. My child is being exposed to questioning that is horrible. I would give this woman's name, but I don't want to do that here, if someone wants to pm me privately, I'd share it. But the second you search her name, her faulty techniques are brought up. She basically asks children the same question over and over until they give the answer she is looking for, and then she rewards them by going on to the next question. And she told me she had NO knowledge of any abuse or even who abused her, but I saw the questions she asked, she knew, she knew it all.