My 11 month old baby got taken away

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salman501
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My 11 month old baby got taken away

Postby salman501 » Tue Jul 15, 2008 2:51 pm

My 11 month infant got his humerus bone in his right elbow fractured over 4th July weekend. We took him to the hospital. They suspected child abuse because he also had some bruises on his thighs from me pinching him playfully. This led to slight purple bruising.

CPS monsters think that I must have cause his injury too. I might play rough with him sometimes but I will never knowingly cause any injury on my child.

My wife's lawyer is recommending her to move out and try to get custody of our son, while this case goes on. As of now she has unsupervised visit and I have supervised visits.

Any advice for me, how to handle the case?
Thanks

Momoffor
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Postby Momoffor » Tue Jul 15, 2008 8:51 pm

How did your 11 mth old break his elbow?

salman501
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Postby salman501 » Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:45 am

No clue. Both me and my wife don't have a clue how it happened. We suspect it might have happened in the car seat, but it is pure speculation. That's why he got taken away, since we didn't have an explanation. I am charged with Child Abuse and my wife with neglect to stop it.

salman501
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Postby salman501 » Thu Jul 17, 2008 10:04 am

My wife's lawyer wants her to separate from me, to get custody of child. Is this advisable? Please help

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katgotsteve
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Location: Georgia

Postby katgotsteve » Thu Jul 17, 2008 3:34 pm

there are alot of factors to weigh in about this. some have to do with the location where you are at, the reputation of the county, if any children have died recently because of abuse.
also it is based on your criminal history. do you have a history of domestic or assualt charges? your age will also play into. also, i have to piont this out, how come your wife isnt being accused of the damage. we all know that women can also be charged with it.
my advice would be to tread lightly right now.
they can make you move out and if they do they can keep you out without criminal charges for a year or longer. if there are criminal charges and you are convicted, you may loose all rights to your child and only have supervised visitation.
again i stress tread lightly around them and educate yourself. you can not come across as a hothead or they will use that against you.

salman501
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Postby salman501 » Thu Jul 17, 2008 4:09 pm

Hi,
Thanks for the response. I am in San Diego CA. I don't have any criminal or abuse history at all. I am 32 years of age. They are accusing my wife of neglect while I abused the kid somehow. The reason I came under fire, is because I play a little rough with my kid, and accidentally causes bruises on his legs from pinching , and somehow he injured his arm while his bruises were there. My wife told the police that I play rough with the kid, but I would never abuse her or the kid.CPS social worker from hospital intercepted the kid on parental abuse charges.

Please advise based on the above responses

Marina
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Postby Marina » Thu Jul 17, 2008 4:37 pm

.

Was there a particular incident, or did it just seem to happen at no particular time?


http://www.fixcas.com/journal/Cavendish.htm

5th paragraph

"Denise and Nigel Clarkson, who had lost both their daughters after one sustained an unexplained injury, and who fought like tigers to get them back. Through the Eaton Foundation, which they founded, I met American doctors and radiologists who were challenging many of the assumptions made by British doctors who were diagnosing abuse from so-called “shaken baby syndrome” and certain tiny bone fractures."



This article is quoted on many family rights websites but I couldn't find more so far.

.

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katgotsteve
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Postby katgotsteve » Fri Jul 18, 2008 3:33 am

do you have other children?
why i ask that is they will base it on a history, with no other children they cant establish a pattern of abuse nor can you establish there is no abuse. each state often works differently. In Georgia where i am from, juvenille court orders work like this. if your wife gets the child back and you are ordered to stay away with only supervised visitation, this will continue at least one year from the time the child was taken becuase court orders are only issued for a year to year basis. at the end of a year they will have to show just cause to continue. now for right now there is a process that is suppose to be going on.
once the child is removed a 72 hr hearing is setup, this hearing is set for the judge to decide if there is just cause to keep the child in care until an ajudicatory hearing can take place which in normally two weeks after the 72 hr hearing. the ajudicatory hearing is a quasicivil hearing which is equal to finding you guilty or not guilty but with less evidence and hearsay is allowed. in most cases the investigation is not even complete by then, they just make alot of allegation and what ifs. if your child is deemed to be deprived, meaning some sort of harm or neglect could fall to this child if he/she stay in your custody, you do not get a second chance. you have to accept services and jump through all the hoops.
here is what i did and it worked for me.
my husband was accused by my 12 y/o mentally ill niece of molesting her. though they had no physical evidence and the eye witnesses who the child said watched as it happened did not back up the statements and the child recanted when called on many details. we were both found guilty in our ajudicatory hearing. after the hearing i then petitioned to get my daughter and my 8 y/o niece back. i gained custody back and then my husband had to jump through hoops. i was not asked to take a psychological, but my husband was asked to psychosexual. the test consisted of several test. one test call a Child Abuse Potential (CAP) was one of them. this test is used to determine if you will abuse your child, here is the catcher, if you answer the question putting yourself in a good light, meaning you say you wont abuse your child, it says you are lie, but if you put yourself in a bad light it will take it at face value. so becuase my husband stated he wouldnt beat the child or he didnt believe in corporal punishment, therefore he is lieing and will abuse his children. another test was the Adult-Adolescent Parenting Inventory (AAPI-2) it said that my husband lacked empathy for children and could not bond with them due to lack of emotion. All i am trying to point out to you is this, no matter how good a dad you are, how much you care, there are always ways for them to turn it around. if you have a low iq, they say you are more likely to commit abuse. this not at fact, in fact people with low iqs often commit less abuse and if they are the abuser they are less likely be lie about it. they turn statistics around to be used against you. if the caseworker, says you are agressive towards her, that goes against you. so you have to be careful, now your wife doesnt have to be. once she gets the kids back, your wife can push things.
another thing about juvenille law is, that you can move out of the jurisidiction, normally out of state and the order is not enforceable until that jurisdiction has a court order and if after a year no court order is issued the case is dropped, but if you move back and another case is brought against you then you are screwed becuase they will use the past instance against you. they will try to show that you will not cooperate or complete services. so best advice is just to get smart and handle them.
also, you need to know policy associate with a physical abuse case. the best way to find this is to find the manual the state uses. normally that can be found by googling the name of the agency + the state + cps policy, ie georiga department of family and children services cps policy.
the best advice i have for you is educate yourself and do not plea out. let them present the case to a judge and see if they do. sometimes they back down with the possibility of having to prove the case to a court. i am not sure if california has preponderance or clear and convincing standards for juvenille you may wan to look at that too. you also need to investigate your son's injuries, for example of it is a factor caused by twisting the arm, so medical records need to be got. have your lawyer file a motion of discovery for all records related to your son and make sure you get the records from your son's doctor to show there is no abuse.
remember to be smart not angry when dealing with them and call them on the mistakes. also be prepared for the changing of workers and having to start over each time....hang in there.

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katgotsteve
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Postby katgotsteve » Fri Jul 18, 2008 4:35 am

another thing you need to know is your wife's lawyer will throw you under the bus...she will paint you guilty to make her case to get the kids back to your wife and anything that she says will be part of the permenant record, so be prepared. that will mean anytime you go in front of the judge he will remember it or go back to previous testimony and read it. you also have to get a lawyer to stand up and tell what needs to be told. dont let them get things on record without some sort of contesting. and you and your wife have to be proactive not reactive. some times the attorney for cps will try to provoke you to get a reaction and use it against you. and please prepare you testimony and be completely honest with your attorney so there are no suprises. also have lots of character witnesses, if you go to church bring in your church friends, but stay clear of friends with a history in cps or with the law.

salman501
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Postby salman501 » Sat Jul 19, 2008 10:22 am

Thanks a lot for the feedback. Given where the situation stands, how long should I estimate to get my kid back. Our court hearing is scheduled for August 4. Do we have a chance of getting the kid back quicker together as a couple, or separating and have the mom get custody followed by reunification with dad.

I know my wife's lawyer already tried to get the kid united with my wife and to separate us. Please specifically advise on this. I have a private lawyer, and I will be discussing the issue with him at length next week.

Much Thanks

salman501
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Joined: Sun Jul 13, 2008 8:13 pm

Postby salman501 » Sat Jul 19, 2008 10:26 am

Also I forgot to mention, he is our only kid. First kid we had after 5 years of marriage. I have a Masters degree in Computer Science. so I think I have decent IQ.

Marina
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Postby Marina » Sat Jul 19, 2008 10:33 am

.

Is the child in foster care or relative care?

.

salman501
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Postby salman501 » Sat Jul 19, 2008 12:45 pm

Child was moved yesterday to relative care(my wife's father), after being held in CPS custody for 12 days.

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katgotsteve
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Postby katgotsteve » Sat Jul 19, 2008 12:45 pm

there is no way of telling. the best person to ask about the couple or single thing is a lawyer representing both you and your wife. talk to them and run scenarios by them. you have to find someone though who knows how to play with them and you have to play with them too. if you in fact are innocent, let them play their scenario for you and then you fall back with the truth.
i would reccommend reading the story by poster FINN. he has lived through a tough ordeal and some of his posts may help you. no one hear can tell you that if you do this you will win or lose, all cases are different and all caseworkers are different. what happens with cps is that you are judged on opinion by the caseworker, supervisor, attorney etc. they enforce their opinion an "policy" on you. so all i can really offer you is good luck...and if you need to talk pleas pm, i am normally a great listener and i be there to bounce ideas off.

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Stitchwitch D
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Postby Stitchwitch D » Sun Jul 27, 2008 6:28 am

If you can afford a real lawyer, then you'll probably get your child back. You might have to spend a lot of money, but at least you have a good chance, because a real lawyer who is getting paid by you will make an effort.

I did a quick google news search for child abuse in San Diego, and there were a couple cases that were sentenced in the last few days- a fatal OD, and a woman who tried to drown her toddler. That's not good for you, because when kids die, case workers get panicky and don't want to risk their careers by returning kids to parents who might possibly hurt them.

Oh, and trying to get you and your wife to seperate is a classic dirty trick. Here's the dirty tricks list: http://www.massoutrage.com/dssdirtytricks.htm
I'd also recommend reading Richard Wexler's Wounded Innocents and following his blog: http://www.nccpr.blogspot.com/

You've fallen down a very weird rabbit hole into a world that most people know almost nothing about, and you need to understand how it works to get your family back to normal life.

salman501
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Joined: Sun Jul 13, 2008 8:13 pm

Postby salman501 » Wed Aug 06, 2008 8:25 am

We have a pre-trial meeting set for Aug 28. I am having a difficult time dealing with being separated from my baby. This is by far the most horrible experience in my life. I just dont have any courage to hang in there to finish this

FINN
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Location: Indian

Postby FINN » Wed Aug 06, 2008 4:19 pm

salman

You better find the courage. It's your family, reputation and freedom you are fighting for.

PS. How long before people fear going to the doctor? it seems that these things start with parents doing the right thing.

MaggieC

Postby MaggieC » Wed Aug 06, 2008 4:41 pm

You WILL find the courage and the fortitude becuase you must. Take each day slowly. Think before you react. Gather a support group and research research research.

You can do this.

momoftwo79
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Re: My 11 month old baby got taken away

Postby momoftwo79 » Wed Aug 06, 2008 5:04 pm

Salman, hang in there! I know exactly what you're going through. My 2 year old son and breastfeeding baby girl got taken away from me on July 20 after I called 911 since I thought someone broke into my house.

I am having a hard time being separated from my kids too. Before this, I have never been apart from my kids except to have my son stay with a friend when I gave birth to my baby girl. She has never been away from me until now and it's just so hard for me. I put my career and school (halfway through my master's degree) on hold so that I can be a stay at home mom so that I don't miss those precious firsts, like my baby girl's first steps that she took the day before they took her away from me.

It hurts in every way, just as if someone ripped your heart out and you want to give up because it hurts so bad, but you simply can't. Every time I get frustrated, every time I hurt, I tell myself to stay strong. If not for myself, then for my kids.

They're not going to give us back our kids if we're an emotional wreck, so we have to pull ourselves together and at least look like we have it all together even though we might be falling apart and screaming and crying on the inside.

When I'm at home and looking at the empty crib and toddler bed, and the once loved toys that now sit unplayed with and lonely, that's when I cry, when no one is around, but I try to put on a brave face when dealing with CPS and the rest of them.

Never give up because our children need us. They need us to be strong, they need us to fight for them since they can't fight for themselves. We need to rescue them from this messed up system. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me since I am in the same situation as you. I hope and pray that everyone is reunited with their children soon...

salman501
Posts: 30
Joined: Sun Jul 13, 2008 8:13 pm

Postby salman501 » Sat Aug 09, 2008 10:02 pm

Thanks for all your support. As per my lawyer's advice I am going to move out, so my wife's lawyer can try to get the baby home with her.

Does anyone know how long will it take to get us reunited again? When will baby be coming home to my wife. We were told we have only 6 months to make solid progress on the case.

I/We were charged with.

1. Me causing abuse, my wife neglecting to stop that from happening.
2. Child has an unexplained fracture and they think it is abuse.

We have a trial conference coming up. Hoping that lawyer can mitigate or lessen the charges


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