Sharing Something Important To Be Aware of

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Missingher
Posts: 36
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:32 am

Sharing Something Important To Be Aware of

Postby Missingher » Thu Feb 26, 2009 6:40 pm

This is exactly what happened to me....






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Home > Get Informed > Custody and Abuse > Case Preparation and Strategy

Published on February 26, 2009 by Arlaine Rockey, Attorney At Law

Custody Cases: Protecting Children From Child Abuse
by Arlaine Rockey, Attorney At Law





Why Aren’t the Children Protected?

When allegations of child sexual abuse arise during a custody case, unfortunately, the professionals who are involved often look first to question the motives and veracity of the protective parent rather than to what they can do to protect the child. Most people think that making allegations of sexual abuse is a sure way for the protective parent to win the custody case. Nothing could be further from the truth.

There is a backlash in full force in our legal system against protective parents. “Protective parents” are those acting to protect their children from abuse, be it physical or sexual. Protective parents are, much more often than not, mothers. The Fathers Rights Movement has been built on the myth that evil mothers have lodged false allegations of sexual or physical abuse or domestic violence against millions of fathers just to deprive and alienate them from their children.

All states have laws that make it mandatory that people who suspect child abuse or neglect must report it to Child Protective Services (CPS). CPS then must investigate. If there is a custody case ongoing, it is customary for CPS to be highly skeptical of sexual abuse allegations. Perhaps worried about being pawns, CPS generally just doesn’t want to get involved. This aversion, unless there is clear medical evidence of or the child’’s clear disclosure of sexual abuse, often manifests itself in the allegations being unsubstantiated, which makes the CPS investigator a nice witness for the abuser.
Thousands, if not millions, of dollars have been paid to psychologists all over this country who perform court-ordered custody evaluations that label protective parents, sometimes slyly using the key words without the title, as perpetrators of Richard Gardner’’s bogus Parental Alienation Syndrome ("PAS"), and who even misdiagnose them with real mental problems like Borderline Personality Disorder or Munchausen’s Syndrome. These custody evaluations, and their recommendations, are used to force protective parents into unfavorable custody settlements or to fully divest them of custody, doing the unthinkable, giving custody to the abuser.

Misled or desperate protective parents too often consent to the court appointment of a Guardian ad litem (“GAL”), often an attorney, for the children. It sounds like a great idea. Give the children their own attorney who will investigate the case and advocate for the children’s best interests. However, all too frequently these attorneys, often well-meaning volunteers, are not experienced in handling cases involving abuse or domestic violence. When faced with abusers who are well-spoken and financially secure wearers of suits and ties, GALs, much like judges, find it hard to believe that these professionals could possibly be abusers. Too many mothers in their desperation to protect their children act a little crazy. They generally make a lot less money than their ex-husbands, which also apparently means they offer less security for their children. If the GALs do not believe the abuse allegations, these protective parents are at risk of having the GAL recommend that the fathers get custody.

Like the custody evaluations, GAL recommendations also are used to force protective parents into unfavorable custody settlements or to fully divest them of custody, again, doing the unthinkable, giving custody to the abuser.

This reality sounds unbelievable, even crazy, but it is happening all over this country. Why is it happening? Some people swear that judges and lawyers are being paid under the table to take children from protective parents. Others say that federal child support enforcement money, used in part to give legal advice to fathers, is being misused to influence and possibly pay lawyers and judges, maybe even psychologists, who help fathers win custody. Perhaps the reason is a lack of training of judges, lawyers, GALs, psychologists, and Child Protective Services workers about how to investigate sexual abuse allegations and about the characteristics of the abused and the abusers. Maybe it is because sexual abuse is so despicable, that people just do not want to believe it really happens. Whatever the reasons, protective parents fighting to protect their children now are stuck with this reality, and the best thing they can do is try to find an attorney highly experienced with these issues and navigate the minefield.

Navigating the Minefield[2]

I tell my clients that they cannot afford to risk more problems by being an activist to change the world during their custody cases. After the case is over, there will be plenty of time to do the important work of organizing coalitions, seeking publicity about damaging judges and unjust outcomes, and trying to change the law and the reality. Right now, while seeking a support group is a good idea, they, and you, need to focus on what you can do to maximize the chances for success in your custody case.

Custody cases involving sexual abuse allegations become very expensive. Although there is a chance, if you prevail in your custody case, that the opposing party might be ordered to pay or reimburse your attorney’s fees, generally you are going to have to advance your litigation costs, and possibly risk having to pay attorney’s fees to the opposing party should you lose. Not only do you have to pay for an attorney, unless you are lucky enough to find a legal aid attorney to take your case, you also will have to pay for other costs such as expert witnesses, psychological evaluations, copies of medical records, and depositions. Underlying everything suggested in this article is the supposition that you can find the money to pay all litigation costs either yourself or through your family, friends, credit cards or loans.

Your goal is to protect your child or children[3] from being sexually abused. In a custody case, this translates into the abuser hopefully at least getting supervised visitation if not therapeutic visitation or none at all for a while. The sooner you can get a court order limiting the abusers access to the child the better. Most states have laws allowing the Court to enter an emergency temporary custody order to protect the child from abuse, and also there is usually the option to apply for a domestic violence temporary restraining order to protect the child from sexual abuse. Deciding which immediate option to use should be discussed, as with all the other possibilities mentioned in this article, with your attorney. It is best to go to Court as soon as possible for a temporary order either stopping visitation or making it supervised until the sexual abuse allegations can be investigated by CPS, doctors, and a forensic psychologist.

Chronological History

To prepare for your case you should create a detailed chronological history of all of the things that have occurred that might be evidence of sexual abuse to give to your attorney.[4] This history should include anything that might be relevant to the possible sexual abuse, such as:

Sexual acting out with a sibling or another child or adult.
Use of a toy or object in a sexual manner
Repeated irritation around private parts
Disclosures (child telling you or someone else about the abuse)
Venereal disease, yeast infections, urinary tract infections
Dates of visits or time spent alone, including at night, with the alleged abuser
Complaints of pain urinating or using bathroom
Enuresis or encopresis after being potty trained
Self-mutilation (cutting, hair pulling etc.)
Discharge from vagina or in underwear
Blood or tears around vagina or anus
Night terrors
Saying or doing things that show a more advanced knowledge of sex
Masterbation (although most masterbating in children is normal behavior
Abuser shows child favoritism, gives child gifts
Also write down other relevant information such as:

List of all people who have access to the child (possible abusers)
List of all witnesses who might have heard or have seen the child say or do something unusual, and all caretakers, with their names, addresses and telephone numbers
Make chronological history of any physical abuse of child, siblings, or yourself from abuser.
Write about abuser’’s history, including any history of being abused, of any other people in his family who were abused or abusers, any criminal record, history of alcohol or drug abuse, names and addresses of his former wives or girlfriends.
Use of child pornography by the abuser.
Document, Document, Document

Throughout your case, you need to document, document, document. Take photos of any injuries and of anything else you can document, for example, the child dressed by abuser in provocative, or age-inappropriate clothing. Keep all physical evidence, which is anything you can touch, such as soiled underwear (put it in a ziplock bag), objects child has used sexually, provocative or nude photographs that the abuser has taken of the child, pictures the child has drawn that seem sexual, and stories or letters the child has written that are relevant.[5] Request all medical records from your child’’s pediatrician

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debbiescalese
Posts: 460
Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2007 4:55 am
Location: WV

Postby debbiescalese » Sun Mar 01, 2009 10:49 am

Let me tell you why this happens. Because some woman who DO have Boarderline PD and are nuts DO claim sexual abuse just simply to gain custody. Some woman DO claim sexual abuse when there isn't any and use cps and the court system to cause problems for the ex and interfere with parenting plans. It has happened SO MUCH that courts are realizing it. NO not all of these cases are made up but a good bit are. Otherwise normal parents become freaks when an ex gets 50/50 becuase they don't want to share the child. They are now forced to look at the parent making the complaint to figure out IS this kid being abused or is this mom just being a b*ch? In our case after they took 2 1/2 years to figure it out the damage was done. In the ex wife's sister's case who pulled something simular the kid is so messed up she has seisurs with no known cause becuase of the stress her mother put her through just to find out she wasn't sexually abused at all. So if it wasn't for people like dh's ex doing this just to get the kid and a support check when it really happens the kids would be protected. So attack the mom's making it up not the court system for double checking before they distroy some lifes.

Missingher
Posts: 36
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:32 am

Postby Missingher » Sun Mar 01, 2009 11:22 am

I DO blame the court system and CPS because they did not double check in my case. ALL admitted they didnt even read the Drs report from the Emergancy room OR speak to him OR spoke to the 2 Special Victims Unit officers OR read their report.

So I am to blame the Moms that are quilty? NO... I blame the system for not investigating FIRST.
CPS is the ones that caused it ALL...


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