Our Story

[rakhel]

we not only got pictures but video with a dated newspaper.
Lawyer says let them keep screwing up the visits. It will help the motion he and my husband's lawyer are going to file before the court in Aug. make note of every bruise, scrap and scab on anyone, as well as drop off and pick up times and whether or not a child attends the visits.
This agency knows the ship is going down and they are trying their damnedest to stay afloat. The ACS worker attended our parent-to-parent meeting/transitional meeting/child visit, and admitted to the new agency that there are no safety violations(again, contradicting the SCO worker's reports).

[MaggieC]

Rakhel,

What would I have suggested? I would have suggested that you and your husband get a grip on things. Either you are a plant or a sorry sort posting here as now you have had your sixth child, this poor child with spina bifida-or so you say.

You do not want help, that is , help in being free of CPS, rather you want to be dependents upon the system.

I offered you pro bono legal help in conjunction with your 18 B attorneys and your response was inane.

I truly doubt that your situation is real and should it be, well, then, there is no hope for you.

[j_mi23]

My husband fell with my 6 week old daughter on the footboard of our be and she got hurt so we took her directly to the ER, they accused him of child cruelty, instantly was arrested and left me at the hospital with my baby that was hurting from the fall and my 2 other babie. CPS took my two other kids from me and claimed i am a threat to them as well because i don't believe my husband did this intentionally. Claiming these injuries are non accidental and because i dont believe it is non accidental, i am a threat to my kids as well. I know my husband and i knw he did not intentionally hurt my daughter. Anyone could back that up, he is a great father and it was a complete accident that he fell with her. CPS took us to court and made so much false allegations on their report and requested a no contact order for me and my husband, my husbands criminal charges were dropped and judge granted me supervised visitation with the kids with a cps present. They have only let me see the kids once since court dat so 1 in 12 days and now all of a sudden they are trying to petition again that i hve a no contact order with the kids.. what is going on? I did nothing wrong andthey are taking my babies away from me.. What do i do especially when my attorney appointed to me is telling me to leave my huband, seperate... It hurts somuch being away from my kids and they are so young... An advice? Opinions? anyone else going through the same thing?

[noroses4u2c]

My husband fell with my 6 week old daughter on the footboard of our be and she got hurt so we took her directly to the ER, they accused him of child cruelty, instantly was arrested and left me at the hospital with my baby that was hurting from the fall and my 2 other babie. CPS took my two other kids from me and claimed i am a threat to them as well because i don't believe my husband did this intentionally. Claiming these injuries are non accidental and because i dont believe it is non accidental, i am a threat to my kids as well. I know my husband and i knw he did not intentionally hurt my daughter. Anyone could back that up, he is a great father and it was a complete accident that he fell with her. CPS took us to court and made so much false allegations on their report and requested a no contact order for me and my husband, my husbands criminal charges were dropped and judge granted me supervised visitation with the kids with a cps present. They have only let me see the kids once since court dat so 1 in 12 days and now all of a sudden they are trying to petition again that i hve a no contact order with the kids.. what is going on? I did nothing wrong andthey are taking my babies away from me.. What do i do especially when my attorney appointed to me is telling me to leave my huband, seperate... It hurts somuch being away from my kids and they are so young... An advice? Opinions? anyone else going through the same thing?

Hon, you'd be better off making a new thread posting so people can see this better.

Whatever you do, do not stipulate to anything. And do not sign anything for the caseworkers. And you really need to get a private attorney if you at all can. And find a good one. The court appointed ones work for them instead of you. They will talk you into stipulating to charges using lies if necessary. Don't fall for it.

I know of other mothers who had to separate from their husbands in order to get their kids back. Then, once they had their kids back and the case was closed, they moved with the kids and reunited with their husbands elsewhere. If you do something like this, don't tell anyone that's what you plan to do. Loose lips sink ships. That phrase is totally true.

And CPS workers will twist what you say into lies to hurt your case. You cannot trust any of them. You cannot reason with them. They are on a mission to keep parents away from their children and that's all that matters to them.

I hope you get your babies back.

[j_mi23]

Thank you, all we can do is pray and try to find a great attorney, research and educate myself so these buttholes don't try and ruin my family.

[MaggieC]

More for Rakhel.

Living in NYC is difficult for the middle class and even for the upper middle class. You and your husband are living on the outer banks of the outer borough of Staten Island, that can't be pleasant when neither of you are working.

I don't mean to be harsh or cruel but it seems to me that you and your husband don't seem to get it. Your children are state wards and they will probably remain so as well as any subsequent children born to you.

I admire your grit but you are missing the big picture here.

In my very humble lay opinion, if you want your children back, in my humble opinion, you might seek to work with your 18B attorney to transfer the case to your home state where you have a family support network.

That, in my opinion, is the only way you might have your children returned to you.

Godspeed to you.

[rakhel]

Maggie
We have attempted that route. It is not an option. Everything you have suggested, and don't get me wrong, I appreciate your help, has not helped.The judge will not sign off on it. The only thing we can hope for is that the motion that will be presented by our lawyers, will be a motion to remove the first agency from our case.

We know the agency is attempting a TPR right now. They are telling us visits are on one day, calling us the day before and changing the schedule only to have the supervisor tell us the visits weren't changed. So, we show up for a visit and sit there for an hour waiting on the kids, only to have a foster mother tell us there was no visit. The caseworker canceled it. They are scheduling home visits on days that we have visits. they are 3 months late for an SPR, and are only scheduling one because our next permanency court date is the first week of next month. They are trying to say we are not complying while making it impossible to comply, with them or the other agency in our lives.

Our caseworker has already been given a 10 day "vacation" because there are two separate verifiable reports that contradict her's. the agency knows they have not provided reasonable efforts to reunite our family and they are fighting hard. While it doesn't look like it, they are not fighting hard than we are. There is more going on here than what I have said.

[LindaJM]

Just a note: Maggie is no longer part of this forum as she requested to disconnect.

[rakhel]

A lot has happened in the last year. And we have had a lot of small victories in this battle and have almost won the war.

Short and sweet. We are within months of Final Discharge for three of the children, the teenager has requested to remain in foster care, and the baby is within months of having overnights leading to Final Discharge.

As for our victories
The GAL requested a Court ordered Psych eval and when the foster parents refused to cooperate(as we knew they would)she requested that the order drop the order, which the judge did.
My lawyer demanded that we get 8hr day visits for a month, then overnights. The judge and all the lawyers signed off on this order. It took two months, but we got our over nights.
Just this month, we got conditional discharge. We have been informed by the first agency that if things go well, which they will, the agency will request final discharge in Nov.

We are still working on getting overnights with the youngest but they are insight. We were originally given, by the court, 6 hours, we got five. Then when the court order came down, she tried to split the eight in half. Failed miserably. Because not only were they 8hr day visits, they were unsupervised, community visits(something she wasn't will to sign off on, but had no choice )
Then out of the middle of nowhere, we get a new caseworker, and the Director of Medically Fragile is now making the decisions as to how our case goes(don't know if this is the case for everyone).
Now we have two 8hr day visits. The director wants us to wait until school starts and we get settled into a routine, then she will let the baby come home for overnights. I am hoping that she rushes through this phase so that she can say they have trial discharge in Nov.

Fingers crossed

[Eljay]

Two years of hell, all for a slightly dirty floor. Yikes. Soooo sorry to see you going through all of this, but so glad things are wrapping up!

Why is it that they can rip children out of the home in a hot second, but must "transition" them back to their family over the course of months????

[noroses4u2c]

I hope you get your babies back.

[rakhel]

I am glad to have the three back and I understand the need for transition.
I am TIRED. Going from being a parent to not being a parent is emotionally exhausting. However, going from not being a parent to being a parent is physically exhausting. Especially after two years. I got all three back in one fell swoop, and trying to get them all used to our rules and us getting used to their personalities and everyone getting used to a whole new schedule is exhausting, A happy exhausting but still exhausting.
The baby is with another agency and having the word of the director that he is coming back to us(and I plan to hold her to it), is promising. So I am looking at a full house within the next 6 months
Our hell is almost over.

[monkette31]

I hope for the worst for those people, for you.

[LindaJM]

I'm so happy to know your children are returning to you! What amazing results; you hung in there and put up with so much injustice for so long, but the kids will get to grow up with their parents and each other. Thanks so much for letting us know everything is working out in your favor!!!

[rakhel]

I may have jumped the gun.
All kids in our care are up to date medically; the caseworkers have been making their required visits; and those that should be in school are, or will be within the next week. The first agency has stated point-blank that they will be asking for final discharge next month, and the second agency has said all we need is a second crib for the baby to start weekend over nights.
We have heard no complaints from anyone about anything.
Everything is looking good.
Then the shoe falls.

A call from ACS. This new guy wants to do a home visit and discuss guardianship of the three in our care!
We have call the agency in charge of the 3. They are as surprised as we are and stated that it is a new investigation. Our lawyers are stumped and state that there is no "Guardianship petition" on file for our case..
We don't know what the fuck is going on, except that it may the the one daughter still pissed that she isn't getting her way by keeping the kids from us. and if that's the case, I don't know how I can handle that.

[Eljay]

Sounds like the guy is acting without authority... I'd call the police and have him arrested for attempted kidnapping! Silly overreaction, I know, but is it all that unreasonable to think he might be a con artist looking to waltz out with your children and/or legal documentation to own them?

[rakhel]

Sounds like the guy is acting without authority... I'd call the police and have him arrested for attempted kidnapping! Silly overreaction, I know, but is it all that unreasonable to think he might be a con artist looking to waltz out with your children and/or legal documentation to own them?

Thank you!! I kinda needed that.
WE have already determined that if this is a new case then we will assert rights we wish we knew about when this all started. The kids are happy and as about as healthy as their individual conditions will allow.
And until we determine otherwise and maybe not even then, if the second oldest was behind this "new investigation," she is no longer welcomed in my house. I will meet her in public and may even take her siblings to meet her. But if I can't trust her not to call CPS, then that is it.

[Eljay]

And until we determine otherwise and maybe not even then, if the second oldest was behind this "new investigation," she is no longer welcomed in my house. I will meet her in public and may even take her siblings to meet her. But if I can't trust her not to call CPS, then that is it.

Absolutely. And if she filed a false child abuse report, that's a crime. Do make sure to have the police follow up/investigate any such crime. Police seem to be very "wet-noodle" on those investigations and not likely to pursue charges, but at least having them investigate might scare her from doing it again. Just know that even though CPS will usually provide anonymity for people who call in reports, the police do NOT have that same policy. If said person called in on an 800/toll free line, there WILL be a record of the phone call & number!

[rakhel]

He actually had the nerve to show up tonight with another person. My husband and I weren't home, but our 20 year old was. She told them that we weren't home. She didn't know what time we would be home and to leave. If they had any further questions, they needed to talk to their(our) lawyers. They asked who she was. She refused to tell them and wouldn't give them a reason as to why when they asked.
She called us, we were out shopping for uniforms for one of the kids, and we came home immediately. No one from ACS was here when we got back. But we did get another phone call from ACS. It was a different person. My husband told them that if they wanted to talk to us, that they needed to talk to our lawyers, and if they wanted to see the kids, they need a court order. The new guy claimed he was just trying to get some information, but hubby shut him down. (which is funny and scary at the same time), and hung up on him.
The second guy called back. Hubby said, "this is your first and only notification. Cease and desist making harassing calls to this number." and hung up again.

WE would run if we weren't so close to the original case being closed and we still had a kid in care.

[Eljay]

This is all baffling.... they supposedly get a new call/referral, start a new investigation, and *IMMEDIATELY* right off the bat say that they want to discuss guardianship??????? Even before *STARTING* an investigation?????? Talk about a rush to judgment! I hope your lawyer asks them to explain that!

[rakhel]

our case is two and a half years old. Well past the AAFLA or whatever it is. I have been with the same lawyer for this entire case and he was new to the game himself, at the time. So he has learned a lot over the course of this long battle. In other words, he has learned to grow a pair, as well as how to use them.
With the agency seeking final discharge next month, I can only think of two things.
1. this is a last ditch effort by ACS to prove they were right all along, or
2 this is a last ditch effort by my daughter to prove she was right about her stepfather all along.

Either way, it is frustrating, to say the least. After years of fighting and complying and arguing and manipulating, to have them attempt to "start" a new investigation and to talk about guardianship?

I almost want to cry again, but refuse to power they think they have..

[monkette31]

They are child thieves, plain and simple. Sounds like this guy is looking for his quota, easy pickings. Please keep us updated.

[rakhel]

I am hot. I am so pissed I could spit.
Cps came over. showed mild concern because of the allegations. Red vaginal area suggesting sexual abuse and unsophisticated guardianship.
The 2 year old gets chronic diaper rashes*medical documentation to prove as much) and the 4 year old still isn't potty trained and doesn't tell us when she has gone, so she will occasionally get red as well. The "unsophisticated" meant something about not having proper toys. HE wrote down that I had docs and saw plenty of toys, and left.
Then SUV showed up. They insisted that if we took the child in question to the hospital, the four year old, and prove that it wasn't what the allegations suggested, then that would be the end of it. That was when they verified who made the report.
My 19 year old, out of absolute spite and hatred, subjected her 4 year old sister to a bodily examine . 3 doctors were watching while I changed a dirty pull-up, so close to her butt their noses were almost touching. Meanwhile, my daughter was yelling and screaming and bucking. They said that they didn't see any scarring or tearing.
Then the nice trip to the police department, where they and ACS tried to convince me to have my husband leave the apartment for the night.
First I told them that he could barely climb the stairs, much less to what they wanted him to do and that if he were forced to leave, he would be sleeping on the trains. After they kept insisting, I reminded them that we do have a 2 1/2 year old case. That we have kids in our home. That if the foster agencies had felt that if there was any safety concerns, that the our kids would never have been returned to us. Which kind of left them stuck.
They drove my and my daughter home, with my husband still in the house.
I am not happy at all. I let them know I was not happy and I will remain unhappy until they stop knocking on my door.!

[Eljay]

So, we are cutting off all contact with the 19 yr old now, right? I mean, what in the hell was she doing looking at the 4-yr old's private parts???? Does she still live at home? Can you put her stuff out on the street? In a trash bag, of course.... you wouldn't want to be insensitive.

[rakhel]

she went into foster care when the rest of them did. When she turned 18 she decided to remain there. She was only visiting on the off weekend. the last time she was here was Columbus day weekend.
My daughter is seriously messed up. I don't know what she was thinking but that is not the daughter I attempted to raise. I knew she had mental issues, but still, she's my daughter. I will still find it hard to cut her off completely, but I can restrict the amount of time and influence she has on her siblings. In fact, the foster agency is in approval of this move.

But as for what went on today. We got taken to CAC(children's advocacy centre). The 6 year old had to go too. They asked the same questions of me today that the ACS guy asked yesterday/ I told them what I had been told. I was never so angry. I was so angry, I was sick to my stomach.
My 6 was examined for the first time and the 4 year old a second in less than 24 hrs. Only to be told that everyone is satisfied with the answers from the 6 year old, the reactions they received from the 4 year old and the finds of NOTHING for them to say that there is no need to continue investigating.

I want to dance a victory dance, but can't find it in me. My 4 year old was violated twice and my 6 year old once.
My husband is looking for a lawyer to sue. They used the words of a mentally deranged individual to traumatize my children.