Couldnt cope

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Momoffor
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Couldnt cope

Postby Momoffor » Sun Dec 19, 2010 7:02 pm

Today is a very sad day. My cousin recently had her kids removed by CPS a second time this year and already wasnt mentally stable. This was the reason that cps had taken them this time around to begin with. She had threatened suicide and a friend who was with her called the police who in turn called CPS.

CPS threatened that if she had done nothing by Dec 26th court date they were pushing for TPR. She had not done anything required by CPS thus far and today she followed through and committed suicide. She felt that it was just too much. Her kids were all she had and she was losing them.

Do I blame CPS entirely. Somewhat. I told them after they took those kids the first time she needed more help before they gave them back and they gave them back on a silver platter a week after I told them not to. Told me it was my job as family to help her. But I do know that the kids will be in a better situation. CPS has been doing nothing but divide and conquer since they took the kids while family members were trying to get custody of them and instead put the kids in foster care and gave us a million excuses why we couldnt have them. They refused family member visitation the whole 9. I am terrified that they are going to tell those kids what she has done.

She was 25 years old.

Momoffor
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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby Momoffor » Sun Dec 19, 2010 9:22 pm

tigress1167 wrote:why didnt someone in the family take these kids while she had custody of them? I am guessing noone got a "guardianship protection plan" in place to keep the children with a family member and together....


We tried she wouldnt allow it. Those were HER babies. Dont get me wrong. There needed to be something done. She was a terrible mother, but they didnt do anything to help her at all at any point. When the police had been called back in Sept, when the kids were removed, she had held a knife to her throat in front of the kids and threatened to slit her throat. When the kids were bad, she would tell them that she was just going to give them back to social services if they didnt stop. But when she was doing the knife ordeal, she was put into a state run facility that social services runs for mental treatment. She was kept for 5 days and then released with a ton of meds and the family was told that she was just fine.

Its all around a bad situation and so sad. I am so angry at all of it right now.

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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby Momoffor » Sun Dec 19, 2010 9:25 pm

Oh and the 'friend' is a known crack head and her children had been taken away from her, plus the situation that was going on, it did warrant the police being called. It would not have been better for the 'friend' to take the kids. The family tried but CPS wouldnt allow it, they never returned my phone calls or other family members either.

There was not an easy answer to keep it from happening. Yes, the kids should have been removed, but placed with family where they belong and were wanted. She just gave up and felt life was too hard.

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LindaJM
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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby LindaJM » Sun Dec 19, 2010 9:50 pm

I am so very sorry, Momoffor, this is such a terrible tragedy... and my heart goes out to your family. This poor mother... how she must have suffered...
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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby Momoffor » Sun Dec 19, 2010 11:33 pm

Fl,

They didnt say what they wanted us to do. I warned that the kids werent safe. She wouldnt intentionally physically harm them, but they would wind up hurt. Before they ever took the kids away, I would bring them to my house, feed them, bathe them, play with them, pay attention to them!, do their laundry, take them on trips because I knew they didnt get ANY of that at home. Her oldest son is my little buddy and his eyes would light up every time he saw me!.

When the kids were taken the first time, My brother and sister in law bought her kids beds, bedding, bought a washer and dryer for the kids, paid the rent since it was behind, paid the utilities, bought a vacuum and any and everything else that was needed for the house to get the kids back. I bought the kids clothes and toys. If social services said she had to pay X amount of a fine for whatever, my brother paid it. My brother and sister in law took in her daughter the first time the kids were taken, paid her daycare, paid for everything.

There honestly wasnt anything else we could have done short of taking the kids away physically. Social services told me it was our job as family to make sure the kids were being taken care of and doing all of the things we were already doing. Hell they were living in their van at the walmart parking lot when I first moved here. I took in my aunt, cousin and her 4 kids and let them stay for several weeks until an apartment became available for them. My cousin got mad at me at one point because I kept telling her to feed her kids, bathe them or whatnot. And took them to stay in a known deplorable crack house with no utilities that had been busted for meth lab
Last edited by Momoffor on Tue Jan 18, 2011 11:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Momoffor
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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby Momoffor » Sun Dec 19, 2010 11:35 pm

And thanks for the thoughts. Please just direct them to the kids tho. =) .....I have been refraining from posting anything since the kids were removed because I knew my cousin came to this site off and on.

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TDD84
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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby TDD84 » Mon Dec 20, 2010 5:10 am

I'm so sorry :(
I've not yet gotten entangled in CPS myself. I perceive, however, that the threat is very real. I prefer to prepare now, which is why I am here.
If I seem ignorant, it's probably because I am. If I make a stupid remark, it's likely because I don't understand how I'm coming across. Just smack me and set me straight.

Momoffor
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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby Momoffor » Mon Dec 20, 2010 3:17 pm

today social services told my aunt that the older kids would be told and would be able to attend services. I just hope they say she was very sick and died because of it instead of the cold hard truth.

There are 4 kids involved. with 3 different fathers. The oldest boys aunt had been trying to get approved as foster care giver to take in all 4 kids previously with social services making her jump through hoops, lie to her about court dates ect and at one point before the inspection was told that her house wasnt safe for all 4 kids. Her home study still has not been approved even though they had gone to the house over 2 months ago for the inspection. Even though last year when the kids were removed, she was approved to take in her nephew the same day.

The second child has an unknown father so there are no paternal rights to terminate.

The twins who will be 2 next month, bio father was married and wanted nothing to do with those kids from day 1.

Social services said today that the aunt could probably take her nephew once the home study is approved. But not the others. They said they are still trying to get a hold of the twins bio father (AKA terminate his rights), and the second child 'is a different story all together since she no longer has a parent at all'. We fear they are going to break the kids up. They were removed from their home and denied their family that wants them, their mother just checked out, and now they are going to be separated.

I cant take in all 4 of those kids otherwise I would. I have tried to get a hold of social services from the get go with no phone calls ever being returned, and then they went and told the judge that no family members were able to take the kids in. (I would have taken the twins, my brother and his wife would have taken the little girl, and the aunt would have taken her nephew.) That was at the emergency removal hearing that we are pretty sure never happened to begin with. The aunt had checked the court docket and it was not listed on Monday when it should have taken place, and checked with the court clerk and it was confirmed that it had not been done. On Tuesday morning the aunt went to the court house and filed for custody. That afternoon she got a call and was told that the petition could not be filed after all since social services had already filed for and gotten custody on Monday.

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LindaJM
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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby LindaJM » Mon Dec 27, 2010 12:46 pm

Seems like something's wrong here. Are they going to try to adopt these children out when mom's rights weren't terminated and the children still have relatives who want to take care of them? Can you all get a lawyer to represent the entire family?

Would an Administrative Hearing help? Seems like a regular family court hearing would settle things, but if they won't let the aunt file, how can you get in? Honestly, I don't see how they can keep a family member from filing for a hearing. :roll:

I think you need a lawyer so these children won't have to stay in foster care.
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Please keep in mind that none of us are lawyers and we can't give legal advice. We are simply telling you what we would do in a similar situation. It is to your advantage to get a lawyer.

"Evil flourishes when good men do nothing." - Edmund Burke ... so try to do something to change the system ...

Momoffor
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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby Momoffor » Tue Jan 04, 2011 10:32 pm

I wish I could post an update and more info! But all I will say is the Judge is seemingly a good one.

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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby Dazeemay » Wed Jan 05, 2011 4:01 am

So sorry for the children and family members. And I know how much you helped Momoffor and your concerns for her and the children. :(
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To put it in simple terms…when the authorities ARE the perpetrators and the perpetrators ARE the authorities, there is no earthly justice or recourse, at the end of the day (unless the American people wake up).

Therefore, those who have achieved the highest levels of power seek to ‘enjoy’ the most grievous and extreme injustices. For many of those in the highest circles of power, the greatest statement of power is to perpetrate the greatest possible injustice…the savage, brutal traumatization and abuse of an innocent child.
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MaggieC

Re: Couldnt cope

Postby MaggieC » Wed Jan 05, 2011 9:05 pm

Daze, you're back! Happy to see you back and posting again.

Momoffor
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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby Momoffor » Tue Jan 18, 2011 11:20 pm

Hi daz! Welcome back. Just wanted to post an update. The aunt just got back word from CPS. The home study was not approved. They said her marriage is too new. I found out the aunt gave my cousin 1,000 and retained an attorney for my cousin, and now she needs money to get the same lawyer to fight for her to get the kids. Apparently, that was all the money she had. My cousin had exhausted all of the reatiner previously. The lawyer is telling the aunt for 500 more he will call the gal and try to get them to reconsider.

They have already used the line that only the oldest boy is blood related so she only has rights to him. The judge called them on it and told them there is no reason why she couldnt have all of them. CPS asked for more time to do home study and find the babies father. He granted it. Now they came back with home study no approved. ><. This is just getting worse and worse. If my cousin were still around I would frigging kill her for what she has done to those kids!!!!!!

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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby Frustrated » Wed Jan 19, 2011 10:22 am

I am so sorry for the loss and I hope things gets ironed out and soon, and maybe the Judge can fix it all. CPS say her marriage was too new??? that's not good enough of an excuse. We got married before and got a baby right after, it's all new normally. It's called a Family! that's just an excuse to give time to adopt these kids out to other people. I hope you will find some answers for these children that deserved a real family that loves them. Can you find more relatives willing to take them??? I wish you best of luck with the Judge and he will decide in the best interests of the children, not CPS.
It is easy to steal from poor people. But don't do it. And don't take advantage of those poor people in court. The Lord is on their side. He supports them and he will take things away from any person that takes from them.~ Proverbs 22:22

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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby Cheryl » Wed Jan 19, 2011 3:36 pm

CPS is attempting to drag the time frame out so that they can FORCE placement and or adoption before a Judge can award the children to family. I have seen this before. If CPS finds a home and places the children BEFORE the Judge hears the final case befoe family, the Judge will rarely overturn the placement citing "the kids have begun to bond with the foster-adopts" so I'll leave well enough alone".

Likely they will all be split up, even the twins if no new pretend mom wants to adopt 2 babies. I am a twin, and we were split up at adoption in 1957, per adoption policy. Before anyone asks,,,,NO I have never found my twin. It sucks knowing there is another me out there somewhere. I still think about it after 53 years.

Momoffor
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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby Momoffor » Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:52 am

The good news is my brother and sister in law are paying the lawyers fees! YAY...I hope! Supposedly this guy is good and goes against CPS and always wins. We are ALL planning on being there for court next week to show our support, love and care for these kids. We are all writing letters to the judge as well for the lawyer to present in the case that we are not allowed in the court room we will still have a voice stating how much we are ALL family and we ALL support this 100% and we ALL want these kids in our lives. I am going to attach pics of the kids playing with mine, to my letter so the judge sees faces, and names and those kids arent just a case number and he can see how happy EVERYONE is.

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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby Frustrated » Fri Jan 21, 2011 7:13 am

that's good to hear, hopefully things will have a happy ending. Good Luck with your Court case.
It is easy to steal from poor people. But don't do it. And don't take advantage of those poor people in court. The Lord is on their side. He supports them and he will take things away from any person that takes from them.~ Proverbs 22:22

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LindaJM
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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby LindaJM » Fri Jan 21, 2011 7:39 pm

Let us know what the court decides!
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Please keep in mind that none of us are lawyers and we can't give legal advice. We are simply telling you what we would do in a similar situation. It is to your advantage to get a lawyer.

"Evil flourishes when good men do nothing." - Edmund Burke ... so try to do something to change the system ...

Momoffor
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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby Momoffor » Thu Jan 27, 2011 10:39 pm

The home study was done and the aunt did not pass the home study due to a previous arrest in which all charges were dismissed yet that is what is being used against her. I knew the trial today was going to be a biatch when I saw this on this on the front page of the paper.

http://www.santafenewmexican.com/Local% ... abuse-case

We of course were asked to leave the court room. The twins bio father was finally determined and he just wanted to sign over his rights. He said that social services had called him once, he asked for a DNA test and they hung up on him and never called back. The oldest boys dad was granted custody of his son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a win lose situation because yes the oldest boy will remain with family, but the other 3 are still yet undetermined. The aunt is going to appeal the home study findings, a judge cannot over rule those findings only an admin hearing made of supervisors from CPS can. At least her brother got custody of his son so that it keeps one in the family. The father asked CPS if he could see the oldest girl for visitation also since she calls him dad and he was the only father figure she knew. They denied it. (go figure) They were in the court room for at least 3 hours that I know of, and the oldest sons father must have made some major arguments and outstanding points. That is really not what we were expecting.

The foster mother is a very sweet woman. We talked to her in the hall while we were waiting for the judge. She said that the kids are always talking about the family members and asking her when they can see us all again. I slipped her some pics of the kids with my son the last time we saw them at the service and asked her to tell them we love and miss them. The second she saw the pics she looked at me and said this must be cousin <insert my sons name here>. She said they are ALWAYS talking about him and they miss him terribly.

Today was bitter sweet. but the fat lady has yet to sing .....

The visitation that was at one time opened for extended family members has now been denied by the CPS supervisor. Same person who denied letting the older boys father see the older girl as well. We could hear them talking in the hall how they refuse to re-look into the home study because of this case in the news. The lawyer told us that when he came out as well, and also mentioned that there is yet another similar case in the county this trial was taking place in. Seems like CPS here is doing an outstanding job!!!!!!!!!

My aunt and her other daughter didnt even bother showing up.

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LindaJM
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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby LindaJM » Sun Jan 30, 2011 2:08 pm

When will there be another court hearing? Is the next step the administrative hearing?

The newspaper article is shocking. They refused to help a child with bruises when there was evidence of abuse, and then think they are competent to keep children from their families who love them?

I hope you can think of something to overrule this decision. So sorry the children are suffering.
Sample Document Library

Please keep in mind that none of us are lawyers and we can't give legal advice. We are simply telling you what we would do in a similar situation. It is to your advantage to get a lawyer.

"Evil flourishes when good men do nothing." - Edmund Burke ... so try to do something to change the system ...

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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby Momoffor » Sun Feb 27, 2011 1:22 am

Sorry its been so long since I posted. My brother and sister in law stepped in and expressed their desire to not only take the kids in, but legally adopt them once the twins bio fathers rights are terminated. It was semi whirlwind. A few years ago, they were looking to adopt through social services so had already had home studies, background checks ect done, plus because of their business practices and community involvement, they are well respected and well known members of the community. So they have already been approved for foster care in the recent past. A few weeks ago the determination was made that the goal was to place the three remaining kids with them. Yesterday the kids went to their forever home.

They are in kinship until the adoptions can be finalized. Its exciting!

The foster mother was a wonderful, kind, caring woman who wanted nothing more than for those kids to stay with the family. The social worker didnt like my aunt, or my cousins. For that matter anyone that stood up for those 3. (Understandably I might add). The judge was all around awesome. He didnt put up with CPS BS. Its not over, but we are all resting better now that the kids are with family ....to stay.

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LindaJM
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Re: Couldnt cope

Postby LindaJM » Tue Mar 08, 2011 2:36 pm

This is a wonderful outcome!! I'm so glad the children will be with loving family members. Sounds like they've been through enough already!
Sample Document Library

Please keep in mind that none of us are lawyers and we can't give legal advice. We are simply telling you what we would do in a similar situation. It is to your advantage to get a lawyer.

"Evil flourishes when good men do nothing." - Edmund Burke ... so try to do something to change the system ...


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