CPS nightmare of the past year

[DanZ]

I'm new here. Let me introduce myself and tell my CPS (actually JFCS, a Canadian equivalent) story.

First, the background.
My wife and I, with our 3 year-old son, came to Canada because I got a job here. We arrived when my wife was 32 weeks pregnant. The doctors from where we had come from classified it as a "high risk pregnancy" because of what their scans told them, but nobody here would let us see an obstetrician. We didn't have insurance, everyone's booked up, they don't recognise anyone else's scans... anyway, it turned out to be impossible for her to see an obstetrician.
My wife got rather upset and depressed- we tried everything and nothing was working, and a high risk pregnancy is a life threatening situation for mother and baby. She got seriously depressed, which was a bad idea as she was going to give birth in a month, so I advised that we at least get an anti-depressant for her. That's how it started.

So we went to a doctor to get an antidepressant. They sent us to a psychiatrist and a social worker (why?). The psychiatrist asked for symptoms, and my wife said she had been irritable, and had slapped our son on one occasion. This turns into a CPS report.

Next thing we know, the CPS have opened a case, and are demanding access. WHAT? We only asked for an antidepressent! So I said no, and they threatened court action. I still said no, and they threatened to confiscate our child. Now, we were only in the country about a month, my wife's about to give birth any minute, and this is the last thing I need. So I started calling lawyers like crazy. The advice was to let them in, so I did.

Then, a whole saga began. Highlights are quotes like, "your child has been injured once, and we want to make sure he isn't injured again." What??? He was never injured! I wasn't particularly cooperative, and they classified us as something bad, and latched on.

I know the risks, and I wasn't going to give my son to these bozos. So, despite the fact we are not well-off, I decided to pay whatever it takes to force the case shut before my wife gives birth (I wasn't successful). So I hired the best, most expensive family lawyer in the city, and managed to track down the CPS's own former chief psychiatrist, and demanded that he give a second opinion (he agreed, which was super-lucky)- I figured they couldn't ignore their own expert, and that the case is extremely clear-cut so I was taking no risk. It didn't quite work out like that (not right away). So, when they threatened to take our son again, I got the embassy involved, because he is a foreign national. And I got somebody from the embassy to call them (thanks!).

In the middle of all this, while we couldn't sleep at night from the stress and terror, my wife gives birth (thank goodness, mother and baby were healthy). It turns out they can threaten us inside the hospital, and we need their permission for my wife to be able to go home. But a few phonecalls to lawyers and so on, and we got released.

They let off for about a month, and then demanded weekly access again. I flatly refused. Again, the threats. I gave them the telephone number of their own former chief psychiatrist. Then, I called him and had him phone them first. And I called the lawyer. And the embassy. And I started searching for journalists I could contact. Everything to close this damned file and end the nightmare.

They forced two more visits... and then they backed down. "It's all a misunderstanding," they said. "We only wanted to help- if you want our help of course."

It cost me about half of our total savings (I'm lucky it was just that!), and was one of the most nerve-racking affairs of my life. And my wife moved away from Canada because we'd had enough, and I visit them every few months, because I'm still stuck here for work.

So that's the story- months of harassment, showing up at our door, threats to take our children... because my wife told the psychiatrist that she had once slapped our son, as a symptom of her depression, which had come because we couldn't see an obstetrician.

I want to make sure that none of this happens to anyone else. They had no grounds to harass us. I felt likeI was dealing with an organized crime group. And they didn't even have the decency to apologise when it was all over.

[LindaJM]

I'm so glad you were able to get a good attorney and help from the embassy and an honest psychiatrist! CPS cases happen on both sides of the border, though with a slightly different MO. You could be a lot of help to people who are going through this in Canada because you know their system. We do get people from Canada on this message board from time to time.

So sorry they got what they wanted in a way, which is to break up a family. They may not know that is what their agency is for, but it is designed that way by the scoundrels who created the child welfare program. The entire purpose is to weaken the fabric of family life, which is the basic building block of civilization, and thereby to weaken the entire country and civilization.

[DanZ]

Thanks! They didn't completely break the family- we aren't divorced or anything- but they definitely damaged the fabric of our family life, which is embarassing because it is indeed their goal. It hurts. The reasons are entirely external (my work situation, and the fact my family don't feel safe in Canada anymore), but it still hurts. But the most important thing is that they didn't get our son.
I think the lesson (for me at least) is to throw everything you have at a clear and present danger, not to worry about time or money, and just to use every resource possible to make "child protection" back off. Not to listen to all those people who say it's hopeless, and who tell you to give in. And the more public and open it is, the more people know, the safer you are; however embarassing it may be.
About psychiatrists, I think any high-level professional would have said the same thing- it seemed fairly obvious. But it was still frightening, because if we'd have gotten another "unfit to be a parent" (because he is their former chief psychiatrist?), we'd have been in a rather tight spot; so we had to believe in the power of the truth.
I hope we can put this whole story properly behind us for some day- maybe when I too leave this country. That would not be an option, though, for most families who suffer through the CPS hell.

[family_man]

Yes, you have to be very careful what you say to a therapist, or else you'll get reported to the authorities. It's too bad that horror stories like this will make people who need help reluctant to seek it.

Would you mind disclosing which province you moved to? At one point I was thinking of taking a job up north to escape the CPS madness down here. Also the single-payer health care, while having its advantages, also has its set of problems as well.

[DanZ]

This took place in Ontario, but probably it's the same everywhere.

We were shocked at the embelished psychiatrist's report. Misdiagnosis and awful lies, with the potentially life-changing verdict of "not suitable as a parent" based on 20 minutes of superficial interviewing- for an antidepressant. She was a junior person obviously, but it's still no excuse. I see it as a violation of the Hippocratic oath ("first, do no harm"), which they take when they become doctors; when I discussed this with another doctor, they told me that the Hippocratic oath isn't legally binding. That's no excuse either.

I'd say, if you go to a psychiatrist, make sure it's a very good one. There are a lot of incompetent and dangerous people practicing that profession.