My name is Lynn

[LynMCo]

I was a foster from 1/07-1/11. A beautiful little girl was placed w/ us on 4/13/7. She was 3 1/2 months old. A few minor health issues but, we took care of them, she thrived. Bio mom had 1 year to clean up, and she had 5 hr. and a 3 hr. supervised visit every week. She couldn't do it. She got thrown out of 3 programs, skipped visits, and she skipped her 226 hearing! Her rights were terminated when the baby was 15 months old. Anyways, since we had an attachment, they asked if we were interested in adopting. I have a grown son from previous relationship, husband became son's step in 1987 when he was 5 but, no bio kids. To his credit, he did not take the decision lightly, took his time. I loved her, wanted her out of the damn system! Long story short, just when he said,"I love this child w/ all my heart, let's do it. Some issues began coming up in our 21 year marriage and he, thinking it would help, talked to the WORKER!! I'll talk about the flood of crap that started another time. Flash to 8/10, husband moved out, although he would remain a part of the babys life, CA law, must be under one roof if adopting. He was to do a step adoption later. I'm going to skip the rest for now. Jan. hit a temporary bump in the road of life, I lost our home beginning of the year. The baby ended up in Polinsky (county run, kid jail, institution) for 3 weeks while I got things together, we had a Threaten, Demote meeting (TDM) and, when they decided to place her somewhere else. I filed objection papers w/ the court. I'd always thought that the SW was on my side. She said she respected the strong bond I shared with this child. She grew and thrived those 4 yrs. She's bright, loving, kind, curious, helpful, a precious gift. Her scores at the adoption evaluation were off the charts! At 33 months, her verbal skills were at 7 yr. olds level. Her spatial reasoning, problem solving, etc...at 6 yr. old! We'd been in Mommy and me classes for 2 yrs. The instructor wrote a letter for me. I did everything they told me by the time of the 1st hearing on 1/21. Until that day I was sure that everything would be okay. I requested an Attorney and there were strong objections from the 2 Lawyers. As soon as the Judge ruled in their favor saying "I would have to retain my own Atty. before the trial on 1/25, make sure they were up to date wit the case, and ready to go, that the matter would be settled on that day", the fear began. He said "I was a caretaker and not entitled..." Yet,the 1st item he'd ruled on was my prospective adoptive parent status (Affirmed). Caretaker! My home study was a week or 2 from being finished, I'd loved this child for 4 years. Nursed her through surgeries, nurtured, wiped her tears, etc... I was/am her Mom! Well, saw 2 Attys. and talked to many more those 2 days,( 2 of the days were Sat./Sun.) and it was impossible. Went up against 2 veteran Attys. and a lying, back stabbing, bad person (SW), Just like that lost and done! I never even got to say good bye. I've been severely depressed since that day. However, I recently started my blog, lynmco-childpunishingservice.blogspot in order to not only speak out about the crap my daughter and I went through. But, to expose things I saw w/in the agency that are broken, wrong, that need public attention. The blog is my attempt to take back my self esteem, dignity, get the truth out!