CPS (in Texas) took my son and I am so scared.

[brooklynRocks]

I had been with my ex for 5 years. The first 3 years were terrific. Soon after our son was born she started acting extremely strange. She became obsessed with our house. She was convinced there were all these things wrong with it and start trying to fix them. It turned into craziness and I tried to get her family to help. They wouldn't lift a finger. I took her to therapists and they weren't much help either. When I say tear up the house I mean it was terrible. She would decide there was mold and would tear 10' by 7' of sheetrock off the wall. She would cut molding from around the door. I would fix it and she would tear it up and start over. She started staying up all night.

I now look back on those times as the golden years. That behavior was nothing compared to what was to come. After about 9 months of tearing up the house she developed this "illness". At first, she claimed she had somehow gotten some shards of glass in her face. She then became obsessed that she had hairs growing into her skin. She would wake me up at 4 in the morning wanting to know if I could see the hairs that would pulling in her skin causing her pain and psychosis (in my mind). I woke up one night to her screaming downstairs and she was on the ground choking and asked me to use the dog shears to shave the back of her neck so she would stop choking because the "hairs" were pulling so tight. She would spend virtually every waking hour pulling on her tongue because of the "hairs" Again, took her to psychiatrists. Took her to a world class skin research at Baylor Hospital and he told her she was crazy. At this point, she hardly ever came to bed and would stay up all night.

She had quit her job when she found out she was pregnant and wouldn't work. She claimed to be looking for a job, but she really wasn't. When I would get home from work she would hand off my son to me and I would take care of him until he was ready for bed. She would essentially disappear.

I must have kicked her out at least 20 times, but each time she would take my son to her mom's and I was desperately afraid I would lose my son, so I would let her come back. Eventually, her beahvior became so erratic that she was turned into CPS by two different people. The first report claimed she was seen slapping my son 3 times and this person knew about the "hair" craziness, as well. Eventually, she became obsessed with her children. She was convinced they had lice and whatever was wrong with her. She bought about 10 bottles of bleach and bleached down the house. I came home one day from lunch and received a phone call from a doctor in the neighborhood. My girlfriend was there with my son and they called to ask if I thought she was schizophrenic. They asked me to come to the office and when I arrived there 4 policeman and 4 or 5 workers from CPS. They put us in separate rooms and started interrogating me. The caseworker essentially asked me why I was letting my girlfriend behave this way. Why I had never done anything about it? She said I had to be complicit in this behavior. They had us both take saliva drug tests.

It turns our my ex was smoking meth. She took two saliva tests, but she did them in a way they both came back invalid. The next day she fessed up to CPS and me about the meth use. As soon as I took the saliva thing out of my mouth I told the caseworker that I smoked weed on occassion and it would come back positive. They went into another room and came back and said they didn't care about the weed and gave me my son to raise and told my ex she was not allowed to see my son unsupervised and had to move out.

I got my son into daycare and I was so proud of the job I was doing raising him. I eventually called my ex and told her we were done. I received a phone call from CPS that said I had to go take a hair test. No problem. I went that day and didn't even think that much about it. On Dec 21st I received a call from CPS that I needed to get my son and bring him to the CPS office. When I got there they didn' tell me what was going on. They took my ex and her mom into a room and left us in the lobby. They came back about 15 minutes later and asked me to come back by myself. The caseworker was on the other side of a big conference table and slid a piece of paper not even far enough across the table for me to see it. She said your hair test came back positive for meth. I had compiled a list of my prescription drugs and tried to give it to her. She said she didn't need it. Her boss was an expert on drugs and that she said the only way it could have come back positive is for me to have smoked meth. The cutoff is 500ppm and mine came back a little over 1000. My exes hair had fallen out so bad over the last year that her hair was only about a half inch long. Her test came back over 10,000.

Even though my ex and her mom were furious at me for kicking her out for good they told the caseworker immediately that I had never seen meth, never used it. I wouldn't even know what to do with it. I went to bed at the same time every night and I was a responsible guy. CPS didn't care. They took my son and gave him to my exes mom, where he is still today.

My finances had been wiped out at this point. I couldn't sell my house so I walked away from it. I had drained my 401k trying to deal with all the problems caused by my ex. I also found out she had been making cash withdrawals of 700 or 800 dollars each month. I borrowed against my last remaining 401k and hired a lawyer. He had me take two independent hair drug tests and they both came back clean (for weed and meth). He sent those to CPS and they said we don't even care about the drug allegations anymore because now we have testimony from my ex and her mom and I had been physically abusing my ex and that was their main concern now.

They never once even asked me my version of events. They never went to court even though their own website indicates we should have gone to court twice based on their actions. I get to see my son once a week for one hour. I have to pay $55/hour to see him, A person sits maybe 3 feet from us and writes down everything I do.

We have a court date for April 5th to try and get my son back. My life feels ruined. I cry everyday. I miss my son more than anything I could have imagined. I am scared beyond belief. I don't know what is going to happen and half the time I can't get my lawyer to call me back and tell me whar our plan is.

I guess I am just looking for a pep talk or just want to get my story out there to the community. I have hardly even told my friends what has happened. Its so crazy I don't think anyone will be believe. Most people think if you end up in the system you belong there.

Thanks for reading.

[brooklynRocks]

Followup:

My son hair test came back positive for meth (600ppm, cut off of 500ppm) and this triggered a family team meeting. This was where my attorney declared himself to represent me to CPS. He told me to keep my mouth shut during this meeting. He said this was not the forum to get anything rectified.

My ex was bubbly and told them she only did meth a few times and she was on the right track, blah, blah, blah. My ex and her mom reiterated again without my asking that there is no way I had ever done meth.

They transfer our case to services. I meet with the new caseworker. She wants to hear my side and she clucks, clucks at all the right moments. Says she can't believe what she's hearing... Doesn't matter. Give me the family services plan. I'm to take drug counselling, parenting, domestic violence class at a battered women's shelter and see a therapist. The investigative phase was in one country where they would pay for the service and the new country said I was to pay for it all myself. And by the way, we don't have facilities for supervised visits so you are going to have to pay $55/hour to see your son.

My lawyer and I agreed not to sign the family services agreement. He says that any good judge would ask if we tried to work with CPS so he initiated contact with the new caseworker. Like all good CPS stormtroopers she refused to engage with him on any substance. Even though he had already declared himself to CPS as my lawyer this caseworker wouldn't even talk to him until he resent another letter with his letterhead stating again that he was my lawyer. Then the caseworker just said I am not going to talk to you, go back to the investigative case worker. He did. Asked her to reopen the investigation. She refused. He asked her why she never even asked for my side of what happened. She said she thinks she interviewed me a couple of times. He asked why there was never a finding report issued. She claims she created it. He then asked her to send me a copy of the findings report. He made me wait a week and of course she never sent it.

He then filed for a court date in District Court. He said the good news is we got the judge we wanted.

He emailed me a letter he received from the regional attorney for the Texas Dept of Family Protective Services. They essentially just rehashed what the family services caseworker stated I was required to do and that would be it with no court involvement.

I just never would have thought this could have happened in America. I'm 53, never in trouble with the law. I'm a good man. I'm a good father. My ex was the one that was ruining everyone's life. She was the one turned into CPS. She was actually involved in a CPS case with her first child, as well. I have not dealt with one guy during this whole process. The system is rigged. They just decided that a guy had to be complicit, had to be violent because that is their bias. They have no evidence.

I will never be the same. They have almost destroyed me.

[Eljay]

If your lawyer isn't VERY experienced w/CPS, then you may want to consider switching to a different lawyer...there are a few in Texas who are very experienced at dealing w/CPS. http://fightcps.com/2007/08/10/lawyers-who-take-cps-defense-cases/

Paul Stuckle is one: http://www.paulstuckle.com/

If you can't afford that, then make your lawyer work with you... you need to prepare a Declaration of Facts declaring your innocence. State only the truth, but things like: State that you believe that the false allegations of domestic violence were waged in order to prevent you from having custody. State that because there was never any DV, there were never any calls made to the police, shelter, etc. and, furthermore, since there was no DV, your son was never "abused" by witnessing DV (they will call a child witnessing DV "abused"). State that you did repeatedly seek help for baby mama. State that you were repeatedly led to believe that she was mentally ill and that you sought care for her. You need to state that you never saw her do anything that would jeopardize that health of your child. State that you never saw her taking/using drugs and it was confirmed by them in interview/statements made to whomever on whatever date. State that you are glad that you now know about her drug usage so that she can get help and become the type of mother that your child deserves, but that he should not be deprived of the excellent father that you have ALWAYS been. Plead your case and tell the judge what is going on. DO submit your own drug tests to the court! State that you believe the CPS claim of a positive drug test was a bluff or ploy to get me to confess to something that wasn't true, that you never got a copy of the alleged test, and that your two tests done on [dates] prove that you've never done meth. *** IF YOU DON'T SPEAK UP, THE JUDGE WILL TAKE EVERYTHING THEY SAY AS FACT!!!! ***

If this is your FIRST court date, please be aware that you are NOT going to get the chance to speak up. They don't want to hear anything from you at this point. This is a chance for CPS to make their case to take legal custody. There will be more hearings to follow and even then, the only time you're really going to get the chance to speak is if you go to trial. If that's the way it's going to go, know that your attorney's fees will go in to the $20k-$30k range at a minimum. So... you may want to consider firing your atty now if you can't afford that/don't want to take on the expense. You can get an education as to what your rights are, get empowered, and learn how to make your court-appointed attorney fight for YOU! You could also consider hiring an atty for your son... if that's where you want your fighting dollars to go. He will be assigned an attorney/guardian ad litem and you definitely want THAT person fighting for your son to be with you.

You will want all of these documents filed well in advance of your court date. Three days before would be good. You need to have an official, stamped submission PLUS copies that will go to all of the other attorneys (ex's, childs, cps) at the hearing. You keep the original.

I'm thinking out of turn here.... you *MAY* want to consider having an attorney help you prepare all of these forms, maybe even a paralegal at an office that fights CPS (atty $500/hr, paralegal, $150/hr). That may not be a possibility.... they kinda call the shots, but then you are the customer so tell them it's all you want. Tell them you do NOT want them representing you in court. Stick with your court-appointed attorney, but use the "real" atty on the outside for consultation, advice, help w/legal forms, etc. Yes, you CAN have more than one attorney!

Don't get down about this! You can do it! There are also some great father's rights groups out there and they may be able to help you... don't sit back and expect anyone to go to battle for you. You can get the weapons & hire a general to direct you, but YOU have to fight the battle!

Look at the fightcps.com home page and read up on what to do. Check out http://familyrights.us/ for some great advice. Read this too: http://www.fathersmanifesto.net/armin.htm

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Just read your "followup" and now a bit flummoxed...
Yes, you DO want to go to court. I wonder why they they are saying 'no court' because usually you can either go with their services plan or go to court. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that you two aren't married, and she therefore has full legal custody, and you have virtually none unless you've gone to court to secure it. If she volunteered custody, knowing she would miserably fail in court, then maybe that's why. I don't know.... do you?

[Eljay]

My son hair test came back positive for meth (600ppm, cut off of 500ppm) and this triggered a family team meeting. This was where my attorney declared himself to represent me to CPS. He told me to keep my mouth shut during this meeting. He said this was not the forum to get anything rectified.

Well, the drug thing is important... either people in the same household as a user will show trace amounts, OR, she was putting in your food or something, since you BOTH came back with a similar amount. Don't necessarily want to throw her under the bus, but what the heck????

As for your atty, that is not uncommon advice, although he's smart enough to know that you're not going to prevail with CPS... really, nothing you can say is going to make them go, "awwww... we were SO wrong about you! Here ya go, take the kid!"

[Daruma]

He asked her why she never even asked for my side of what happened. She said she thinks she interviewed me a couple of times. He asked why there was never a finding report issued. She claims she created it. He then asked her to send me a copy of the findings report. He made me wait a week and of course she never sent it.

Can your attorney subpoena all the caseworker's notes and reports? Maybe even subpoena all internal department emails related to your case? ASAP. Before she has time to write up those interviews that never happened.

They essentially just rehashed what the family services caseworker stated I was required to do and that would be it with no court involvement.

They think they're intimidating you when they talk about court. "Let's keep this out of court," like they're doing you some huge favor. The truth is that court is the only place where you'll have a chance to get your side of the story on the record. Given the choice between going to court or signing an involuntary case plan, I personally would choose court.

Remember this because it is CRITICAL: Any and every statement they make on record that goes unchallenged automatically becomes "the truth".

I'm sorry this is happening to you and your boy. I hope it's some comfort, in a sad sort of way, to know that you're not alone. We hear way too many stories like yours where good parents get accused and railroaded. Take some time to read in this forum & elsewhere on the website, as well as other websites set up to help parents like you. Learn as much as you can about the system so you can help your lawyer help you.

[brooklynRocks]

Well, the drug thing is important... either people in the same household as a user will show trace amounts, OR, she was putting in your food or something, since you BOTH came back with a similar amount. Don't necessarily want to throw her under the bus, but what the heck????

One quibble with the above. My test results for 3 months worth of hair test came back only slightly above the minimun cutoff. Even though her hair had fallen out to the point of only being about a half inch long, her test results came back over 10,000.

CPS said even if it was incidental contact then I must have been sitting there watching her smoke meth.

CPS actually seems to believe the nonsense she told about her drug use. Her story is that she hang on to a small amount of meth from her previous drug using days for 5 years. Through two moves and having a child. Then in August she started using that meth and only did it "a handful of time" and never spent my money on it.

Everytime I type this stuff I think everyone is going to think I just sit here and make this stuff up it is so ludicrous.

[Eljay]

Everytime I type this stuff I think everyone is going to think I just sit here and make this stuff up it is so ludicrous.

No, not at all. When you first started talking about her tearing the house apart, I was thinking "OCD" ... then when you started talking about the hair, yes, still OCD. Then the staying up all night and the 4a.m. incident with the 'choking hairs' made me think meth, for sure. Only because I watch the TV show Intervention do I know what the symptoms are.

Don't let the CPS people bully you... they are hanging their case on your "failure to protect" and you already have mom's multiple affirmations that you were unaware of her usage. Make sure you transcribe that and submit it as part of your Declaration of Facts. Also, make sure that you state that when ever you were home, you provided 100% of the care and that she would "disappear" ... the point being that you never witnessed her neglect nor abuse your child, therefore you couldn't have "failed to protect" *and* she was hiding her behavior from you to a great extent, therefore, how would you know? As long as your son was never harmed, and I'm sure you would have noticed in your care of him, then you were unaware of an RISK of abuse or neglect.

[fatherofthree]

Well, the drug thing is important... either people in the same household as a user will show trace amounts, OR, she was putting in your food or something, since you BOTH came back with a similar amount. Don't necessarily want to throw her under the bus, but what the heck????

One quibble with the above. My test results for 3 months worth of hair test came back only slightly above the minimun cutoff. Even though her hair had fallen out to the point of only being about a half inch long, her test results came back over 10,000.

CPS said even if it was incidental contact then I must have been sitting there watching her smoke meth.

CPS actually seems to believe the nonsense she told about her drug use. Her story is that she hang on to a small amount of meth from her previous drug using days for 5 years. Through two moves and having a child. Then in August she started using that meth and only did it "a handful of time" and never spent my money on it.

Everytime I type this stuff I think everyone is going to think I just sit here and make this stuff up it is so ludicrous.

If I read this right, you took a hair follicle drug test, and it came back positive for meth, above the minimum amount? I too would question that as a hair follicle is a very accurate test. A jury most likely would believe that you would have had to been around it substantially or used it to test positive. Honestly, it is very bad when a child tests positive for meth. That means significant exposure. I have heard all the excuses during my career why somebody is positive. Eventually 99.99.99 percent eventually come clean and admit it. I don't know you, but I do recommend that you think to yourself what happened in your home and ask if you think the court is going to believe you. IMO, if you need a treatment program, then take them up on it or have your attorney get you into one. Do whatever it takes to get your child back.