seeking advice...

[Praying4Redemption]

Well, where do I begin??

On March 17, 2013, my almost (at the time) 2 year old daughter was taken to the hospital by her baby-sitter because she had stopped breathing. The sitter performed CPR and resuscitated her.... at which time, some how or another, she hit her head on something... I had left for work at approx. 6 am. I got the phone call around 9 am that she was about to be life-lighted to Houston because Crockett hospital lacked the equipment to treat her. I rushed to Crockett hospital to life-light with her. After speaking with the doctors about her condition, they informed me that she had a "subdural hematoma" which was in English, a bump on her head.... that she had stopped breathing because the mucus from her head-cold had drained into her air-way, choking off her air supply, but they had gotten it all out and that she would be fine.... About 3 days later, CPS showed up claiming that "it was a standard visit for the nature of her injury" I had no problem with it at first... then they started talking about how the doctor had lied to me, saying that she had "Shaken baby Syndrome" (now, i'm no doctor... but if a child has SBS, wouldn't that child have a neck injury, or a pulled muscle... or something besides a knot on her head?) Anyway, I listened to them... and heard them out.... apparently they believed that one of my roommates, (I had 2: my boyfriend at the time, and our dear friend who was going through a rough financial patch... they were the ones watching my daughter) had assaulted my daughter.... At first I was in shock and denial... I mean, they had watched her SEVERAL times and she NEVER got hurt with them... they loved her to death.... then after speaking with them more and trying to ask questions about what my options were.... (I mean, I had nowhere to go... I couldn't just up and leave... I didn't have the money...) The representative got perturbed.... she started being snappy and saying things like: "I loved my bf more than my daughter" and things like that... I said "No! My daughter comes FIRST... I just need to know what you want me to do" She told me that she would come pick me up upon discharge and take my daughter and I to a safe house until I got my next check, and left.... On March 26th (I'll never forget this day as long as I breathe) The same caseworker came at 11 pm with a court order saying she was removing my daughter from my custody, on the grounds of NEGLIGENCE. A nurse walked in and took my daughter OUT OF MY ARMS, while she SCREAMED and CRIED "NO, MY MAMA!!" then I was escorted out of the hospital with no car, no money, and no one to call. (I dumped my bf upon hearing about the SBS) Well, about a month later, I was summoned to court... where I did my best to represent myself.... I was given a "Permanency Plan" and told to complete this list by March 1st, 2014. Since then, I have COMPLETED the list, with the exception of the "Parenting Classes" I did, however have to live with a friend until I could save up the money to get an apartment... but on Oct. 1st I faxed a copy of my lease to my caseworker... on Oct. 7, we had a status hearing, and I was informed that they were making a move to have her ADOPTED. Now, I have a lawyer... and he told me that I had 2 options: fight it, or let it slide. I chose to fight it. My daughter belongs with ME. So, CPS countered with: since you're going to fight it, here are your options...: Trial by JURY, if you lose, you lose parental rights to your child.... but if you do trial by JUDGE: if you lose, you only lose conservatorship. On Nov 26-27 we're going to trial by JUDGE... (I couldn't risk losing my daughter forever... it's just too much) and i'm terrified.... It'll be me vs her father vs cps vs my parents (who want to take her from me...) I'm so scared that i'm losing sleep and sanity..... any advice is welcomed... and prayer too.... this is all taking place in HOUSTON COUNTY... In Crockett... so if anyone has ever dealt with this particular county... plz respond asap... I feel torn apart without my little angel.... she's all I have left.

[LindaJM]

Just read this... very tragic...... and your daughter has been in foster care only a little over six months. They are moving on this TPR hearing way too fast. I'm sure your lawyer will address this in court.

What evidence will you be taking to court regarding your compliance with the service plan and your cooperation in separating from your boyfriend?

[Praying4Redemption]

I have taken the advice that I've read online... and I've documented EVERYTHING! I have the paper form of everything I've acquired... and I would be happy to give it to the caseworker... if she'd ever answer her phone...

[Praying4Redemption]

i'm not sure exactly how to prove I separated from my bf at the time... except that if they were to go to his house and see that I no longer live there... that he now has a new gf.... otherwise... I can't figure out how to prove it... I live alone now. I've invited them to come and see my new home... see that it's suitable for my daughter... that I have a daycare picked out.. that I am going to school and I have acquired employment.... that I have a car... that in 6 short months I have done ALL of these things and then some... I've basically completed the service plan.... but they're ignoring that fact... and i'm soo scared..

[LindaJM]

You don't need to give it to the caseworker. Caseworkers almost always work against you no matter how much you've done to remedy the situation.

The person you need to impress is the JUDGE.

You could write a declaration of facts ... include that you have separated from your bf, that he has a new gf and there are no plans to reconcile, that you've completed parenting classes (see Exhibit A) (and attach your certificate as exhibit A), you completed ... etc etc... attaching all your documentation as exhibits.

Give this to your attorney, not to the caseworker.

The attorney should review your declaration and approve it or ask for changes.

Do not include any self-incriminatory types of statements.

If the attorney won't see you then leave a letter for him in his office with this paperwork attached. Request a response within ten days, in your cover letter.

Of course, keep original copies of everything for yourself.

About your housing... I've known people who take photos of everything in and around the house to show to the judge. One woman took her photos in on a CD and the judge took time to look at it, then gave her ten children back to her. I thought that was fairly miraculous for a single mom to get that many children returned! I think judges might be more inclined to view the photos if they are used as exhibits attached to the declaration of facts.

I hope some of this helps. I find it so mind-boggling that they are moving toward adoption this early in the case. I hope you can get this to turn around in your favor and I'll keep you in my prayers.

[Praying4Redemption]

Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to reply to me.... I've been so scared through all of this... because on the phone or face to face my caseworker is sweet as pie... then when we get to court.... she's rude and curt.... i'll take time to do all of this... and thank you for the prayers... and just like you... i'm shocked that they're moving to adoption this quickly... especially since I've done everything they've asked of me.... I had a visit with her yesterday... and I got to see her in her in her Halloween costume... she looked so beautiful... I couldn't stop crying... I try to keep a straight smiling face when I see her... but the fear is too much... i'm 22 years old... she's my only daughter... I don't do drugs... I don't drink... I go to school, I work, and I come home... I have no felonies or even misdemeanors..... I don't even have any traffic tickets... (knock on wood)..... but i'm being treated as if I raped and assaulted my little angel.... i'm not a criminal... and i'm a very soft-spoken kind-natured person... I tend to get walked on a lot because of this... but this is one time I REFUSE to be used and tossed aside! I refuse to be their puppet!! I want desperately to press charges when this is all over... on the grounds of unlawfully removing my daughter... ESPECIALLY since I was at work at the time of the supposed "attack" on my daughter.... but first things first.... I want her home, safe with me. That's all i'm asking for.... if you think of ANYTHING else.... and I mean it.... A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!!!!!! please don't hesitate to post... i'm soaking everything up as quickly as I can... because I don't have long to act.... I have no room for mistakes or failure...

[fatherofthree]

A "subdural hematoma" found on an infant that stopped breathing is certainly more then a bump on her head. The dr's are not going to inform you of SBS because it is not their place to do this. They will call in a CPS referral. This will then become a joint police/cps investigation. The hospital child abuse expert(s) will then do a full work up on the victim. Has anybody been charged with a crime? You can be sure the police will do all they can do try and identity the suspect as their goal is prosecution. I have worked many SBS investigations and almost every time the family doesn't believe the suspect did it. It is normal for CPS to remove a child during this type of investigation as they do not know who harmed the child. It is also normal to not do this right away if the child is in a hospital.

As far as CPS here is my opinion based on what you wrote. You didn't complete your parenting classes that were required in your "Permanency Plan". As a result they are moving forward because they have one year to complete the case. There are a series of classes so this isn't something you can take over night and you have had over 1/2 a year. The state will have written documentation in their case file documenting attempts to contact your and/or excuses you made as to why you didn't complete the services and whatever else they may have learned during their investigation. I saw you leased a place Oct 1, which was a week before the hearing. Your side will need to convince the judge that you need to continue with CVS or have the children returned to you. They do seem to be moving very fast with adoption and courts should want reunification which benefits you. With parents - boyfriends also trying for custody you can be sure they will be spewing the dirt on you so be ready for that.

You will receive a copy of the report CPS files with the court. That would be an interesting read. Don't post it here but it should be fact based. When you go to court be polite and respectful of the judge.

[Praying4Redemption]

@fatherofthree: thank you for the imput.... however... i can see the standpoint you are trying to make... so thank you. i fully understand that cps believes that they are doing what is in the best interest of my daughter.... however.. as of last Thursday, we have completed our parenting classes.... i have taken the advice given and have further documented our strengths and our home. i realize that our home was acquired a little late... regretfully i have been working with what i'm being given.... without complaint, and without malice. As far as being kind and courteous to the judge... that's going to happen even if they rule against me. As a former TDCJ Correctional Officer.... i understand that it's their place to do their job, no matter how cruel.... however... i will not just roll over and play dead.... i will continue to fight to bring home my daughter until my last breath.... she's all i have. she's everything to me. period. Yes, i was unsure about my ex hurting her, because the idea seems preposterous... but irregardless of whether he did or not, i still left him as they requested... the promise that was made to me by a case-worker before she was taken was BROKEN and according to my lawyer, my rights as a mother have been violated... and that is my stand point. I can only hope i can make this judge see where i stand as far as my daughter is concerned... Everything i've ever done for my daughter, or ever will do, is not only because i wanted to do these things, nor because her father doesn't want her, it's because that is my DUTY as her mother... to give her nothing but the best..... so that her future is bright and her possibilities are endless.