New Here

[Mom2Jasper]

here and in need of advice/referrals/information... anything!

I live in Illinois. In April, a DCFS investigator came to my home while I was at work, and informed my significant other that she wanted to speak with the children regarding a reported incident of my 14 year old son performing physical exercises as a form of discipline from the night before. My significant other would not allow her into the house without identification. She handed him a paper with DCGS letterhead that had her office contact information on it and stated THAT was her identification. He called the police because she would not leave and he called her supervisor and was told that the "investigation" could take place on the porch if he didn't mind the neighbors hearing our business. The police then arrived and insisted that he HAD to let the DCFS investigator in, or DCFS could take the kids (Ages 16, 14, 11, and 1. The 3 older children are mine, but the 1 year old is both mine and my significant other's child). So he begrudgingly let the investigator into our home to interview the kids and called me to let me know DCFS was there.

When I arrived at home, shocked and confused, the investigator was speaking with my 14 year old and I was asked to leave the room upon entering. I complied. About 15 minutes later, the investigator asked to speak with me alone. I went into my boys' bedroom with her and closed the door. Her VERY FIRST STATEMENT to me was "Ma'am, do you know what "failure to protect" is and what it can mean for your job as a nurse if you are found indicated for it?" Completely taken aback, I didn't know how to answer her, and said no. I didn't know! She then listed allegations that my significant other had been abusing my "beautiful" children and I had known about it for long time and did nothing. I informed her that I had called the police the night prior when my significant other had made my 14 year old son do exercises as a form of discipline. (I did call because I felt it was too much and he wouldn't listen to me to stop. The police responded and said it was NOT considered domestic violence and they said it would be filed as "juvenile counseling" because my son admitted to being disrespectful, resulting in the calisthenic discipline). The DCFS investigator said they "thanked" me for calling the police, but that "this" had been going on for a while and I knew about it and DO NOT play dumb with her.

She alleged that my significant other has been abusive to my "beautiful" children, had pushed me and the baby onto the bed, had choked me, and swears at me all the time calling me names. I informed her that was INCORRECT. YES, he DID try to push past me during an argument, Yes, he did ONE TIME in five years refer to me as the "b" word during an argument, but I DID NOT see abuse or suffer abuse like choking or being pushed! She WOULD NOT have it, period, and insisted again I was "playing dumb" and was a "beautiful person" and why would I let him do those things? I said well, he "yells" sometimes. She said, incredulously, "well THAT'S not domestic violence?!" She informed me that I could be indicated for "failure to protect" and that would affect my job, and that they could take away the kids if they were around my significant other, so what did I want to do? I said the only thing I felt like I could, I wanted him to leave. She stated that my 1 year old would be placed in "state protected daycare" while I was working, that my significant other would have supervised visits, and that DCFS would have a case open on me for six months. She ordered me to go to the courthouse in the morning and get an order of protection (restraining order) against him and that I COULD NOT tell the court that it was just because DCFS told me to. The investigator then told me that following my visit to the courthouse, I would have to bring the order of protection to the DCFS office to show them that I had done it. She then told my significant other that they would "get him some anger management" and that had to leave or she was taking the kids, and that he better hurry up because she had somewhere to be in 20 minutes. He voluntarily left.

The following day, I contacted her supervisor to find out why I needed the order of protection, and what it meant for my significant other seeing our daughter. The supervisor informed me that I did not NEED to file the order of protection, but that by bringing it to them it would demonstrate that I was "protecting" my kids. She stated that it would not cause any problems for me if I did not file the order of protection when I informed her I did not feel it was necessary and asked if that would be a problem. When the investigator called me later that day to find out why I hadn't yet filed the order of protection, I told her that I had spoken with her supervisor and was told it was not necessary. The investigator put me and speaker and called her supervisor into the room. The supervisor did a complete 180 reversal on me, demanding that I get the order of protection as proof I was protecting the kids! When I inquired about the length of the order of protection, I was informed it would be temporary for 2 weeks, and the Judge would decide to make it permanent for 2 YEARS following that, which was good because my kids "didn't like" my significant other and she didn't blame them. She informed me that DCFS would "get me help" and that they would put me into "intact services."

I was a nervous wreck, but did not file the order of protection. I did not want to perjure myself to a Judge and was afraid that anything I wrote would be insufficient as "proof" for DCFS. The investigator was HEATED that I did not file the order of protection, and insisted that if I filed it, "it would look good in the file." I again told her I did not feel it was necessary, that we were safe, and that he had agreed not to come to the home. The investigator said she was putting in the file that I wanted to "pick and choose" my services and guidance.

My case was then turned over to an intact services worker, a counselor with an agency that DCFS contracts out with. The investigator came to my house with the intact services caseworker and reported to her that my significant other "threatened to shoot her with his gun" (in reality, he stated to the POLICE OFFICER that he "could have shot" her if she barged into the house and he didn't know who she was), that he had over the course of five years repeatedly shoved my older children down onto the floor, hit them on the back of the neck, that my 11 year old had to perform the exercises (NOPE, it was the 14 year old), and that he slammed my 14 year old son's face into the floor so hard it made his nose bleed (NONE of these true!), that he drinks 2-3 beers every day (in reality, 2 or 3 A MONTH), and that I had been allowing these things to happen. She told the caseworker that I did not go get the order of protection like they wanted, and that she was going to indicate my significant other and that she wanted to indicate me to but her supervisor didn't want to do that due to me being a "domestic violence victim" and due to the nature of my job as a school nurse. The caseworker said it was a "bad call"on the supervisor's part for not indicating me and that she would not feel comfortable handling the case without an order of protection in place because she didn't want her name "in the news" if something happened.

In the middle of May, my significant other received notification that he was indicated for substantial risk of harm/injurious environment, and on the letter of indication, it states that he committed domestic violence against the mother. I received notification that I was unfounded. This was all despite the fact that DCFS informed my significant other's attorney (it is solely his attorney, she would not work with me because DCFS alleged domestic violence against me, so the attorney considered it conflict of interest) that there were no charges pending and they would get him anger management and then work toward reunification.

The caseworker has been coming by once a week since April 24th, so that makes today day #50 of my "voluntary" intact services. Per DCFS policy here in Illinois, I am supposed to have a service plan in place by day 45. I still have not seen my service plan, but keep hearing different things that will be considered a requirement as part of it. They are requiring for me to undergo -

One-on-one counseling for domestic violence - not a "class," actual counseling every week.
One-on-one parenting counseling - again not a "class," actual counseling every week - through the counseling agency where the caseworker works.

The caseworker had originally stated that my significant other could NEVER return to our home, and that even when they "close" the case, they will put it as a recommendation that he cannot be in the home around my three older children. She also stated that any visits for our 1 year old daughter would have to be supervised and not in the home, because even though he was the father of the youngest, the older kids should not be subject to him JUST for her. She also informed his lawyer that they COULD NOT offer him services because he was not a part of the home when they took the case. With some push back from his lawyer and the caseworker talking with her supervisor, it has been determined that he CAN receive services (anger management and drug and alcohol assessment), and that he can return home when THEY see fit. If he is here before that, that I WILL be indicated and "there goes my job and everything." But oh, they're not threatening me, just telling me what will happen. She said she "probably shouldn't say this" but that I have 2 DCFS workers right in my neighborhood and they know her and that she is the one working the case, so she feels she has to be extra careful.

The caseworker frequently makes accusations, and WILL NOT listen to myself or my children about information in the report being incorrect - like how it was my 11 year Autistic child that was made to do the exercises when it was in fact my 14 year old - which should be in the police report from the night before DCFS came to my home. She just states, "well, that's what's in the report." She has also stated that it's in the report that my dog had undergone serious abuse. I informed her that was incorrect as well.

This week, I had to cancel my parenting counseling due to illness, and it was reported to her that I cancelled, so she did not show up for our scheduled visit yesterday, only calling me after the scheduled time to "reschedule since she heard I was sick." I did not call her back to reschedule as I am still not feeling well. She stopped by this morning while I was out with my youngest (getting coughdrops), and when she spoke with my children that were here (ages 17 and 11), she informed my 17 year old daughter that "we all need counseling" and that there are not 2 but 3-5 DCFS workers in my neighborhood who "all" KNEW that my dog had undergone physical abuse and had been "locked outside." Once again, NOT TRUE. YES, my dog goes outside, but she is NEVER, EVER "locked" out there, and has NEVER been hit.

I am trying to contact attorneys for the way my case is being handled, but most will only take the case if there is a current investigation (it sure FEELS like there is!!!) or an upcoming hearing. I had found one attorney who wanted a $5,000 retainer in full before he would start working the case (which I would GLADLY fork over if I had the extra), but that the only thing I could really do right now was to "comply" with DCFS as they can take the kids and make life a living hell.

I am NOT being treated fairly. I have been threatened from day one, and continue to be threatened with an indication. I have not seen my "service plan" that requires counseling through the caseworker's agency, and I feel like I am under investigation despite being unfounded, as well as being accused of animal abuse (and if everyone "knew" about it before, why was a report never filed, or it even mentioned until now?!), AND being held accountable to DCFS workers in my neighborhood who aren't even involved in my case.

I know this was long, and I sincerely appreciate any insight, help, advice, tips, resources, anything!

[monkette31]

Why does the attorney want $5,000 only to tell you to comply and go along with what DCFS says? It sounds like they are going to force you into services under threat of removing any/all of your children. It's either that or just do whatever they say for the next few years, alienate the father from the children, etc. I have met couples forced to divorce each other, sitting in the halls of children's courts completely dumbfounded as to what was happening...but these people bully families and parents into waiving their rights. You've been swindled. http://fightcps.com/2010/04/09/what-to-do-if-child-protective-services-social-workers-are-investigating-you/