Open Case - San Diego (grrr)

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GoodParents
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Joined: Tue Dec 20, 2016 5:37 pm

Open Case - San Diego (grrr)

Postby GoodParents » Sun Jan 01, 2017 12:45 am

After my (9yo) son was suspended from the school bus for standing up to bullies, he mentioned that he has a temper like his dad (at school). Well, I guess that "mandated" reporting, and after interviewing all 4 of our children at school (obviously w/o our approval)--with the pretense of being a "school counselor", we got a surprise visit from CPS. Hubby and I had been going through a rough patch at that point, and we were arguing too loudly and too often--but we had already been in therapy for a month, and had gotten past the anger for the most part (1st contact was early November).

Having never dealt with CPS, and also initially believing she was a counselor (because my son had said he would like to speak with one & I asked the school who they might recommend...), we were pretty forthcoming initially. We did get very uncomfortable when it was revealed that no, she wasn't a counselor, and she really started the pressure to enroll in "voluntary" services (and she could show us a copy of a letter proving she could go into school and talk to our kids whenever she wanted, but we couldn't keep it or even take a photo to look up statutes, etc. later). We sent her on her way.

Well, we were informed around 3pm on the 20th (of Dec) that we were to be in court at 8am the next morning. No summons or paperwork of any kind, just SW "orally giving notice." Juvenile court, so you can't check that kind of thing online or even over the phone. Stupid me thinks, "it's probably just a scare tactic, but I'll check it out." Cancelled our family trip to the science museum so I could hang out at the courthouse (husband stayed home w/ the kids).

Saw a copy of the 2-sentence petition recommending my husband go away (domestic violence--apparently walls are people too, and it's just as bad to see a parent direct his anger at an inanimate object as it is to be the recipient). Then got a copy of the "report" with pages of my kids' "accounts" of the horror they deal with. "Sometimes it's scary when Daddy's mad." "I cover my ears when it's too loud." "My parents argue every day/haven't argued in a couple of months" - both of those attributed to the same child, but SW managed to glean that we were definitely violently arguing on the 12th of December (my kid must've known the future back in November). So stupid & ridiculous; no way the judge doesn't just dismiss it right there, right?

Well judge was annoyed that I wasn't taking this seriously enough, and really mad that my husband wasn't there. My kids even had their own lawyer present, who argued they should be removed from BOTH of us based on never meeting them or speaking to me. Yup--there they go. Luckily they only spent one night in the hellish "group center," and are with my parents now, but we are currently on "seperate, supervised" visitation. Jurisdiction hearing is set for mid-January. WTF???? How is it easier to take away my kids than it is to win $100 in small claims court?

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KDus
Posts: 161
Joined: Sun Nov 21, 2010 8:00 pm
Location: Kansas City

Re: Open Case - San Diego (grrr)

Postby KDus » Mon Jan 02, 2017 1:12 pm

It doesn't seem like it, but you have been lucky so far.

To answer your questions, you must understand the people you are dealing with. CPS has a job to do: find kids that need "help" and take them away. If they don't find kids to take away, they don't get paid.
With few exceptions, all the other people involved are narcissist ego maniacs that truly, literally, know that they are better equipped to run your life and raise your kids. They have decided the narrative. They know what goes on in your home and they have set out to prove it.
Some social work textbooks actually state that an ideal society would have kids raised by experts in government institutions. (like 1984)
It is no coincidence that the court officers and social workers found their way to a job giving them god like powers to dispense justice with virtually no boundaries. They are the judge Dredd of parenting, perceiving a mandate because they aren't being stopped. They go to court and the office daily while their kids are in daycare. They have lost touch with the realities of parenting. They forget that someone has to actually wash dishes and pick up kids from school.

It sounds like your kids were put in protective custody. You are now at war and there are several fronts to worry about. There are several possible approaches to each front. You have one goal now. End the case.
If that means your husband moves in with a friend, do it: now. If it means you have to spend your 401k on legal help, do it: now. If it means starting parenting classes, do it this week. If it means letting social workers believe they helped you, start lying.(wait a few weeks so they believe you.)

This will cost more, take longer, and damage your family more than you can imagine. The truth isn't relevant. The allegations can change during the case.

They have endless resources, you don't. They have power, you don't. You have to follow the law and rules, they don't. They know the system, you don't.

PS, your long term goal is to leave the state. I was in Ventura. Now in Missouri.


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