It seems as if we have been battling this forever but, now reading other posts, I know we have barely begun. This all started when our pat (parents as teachers) woman noticed behaviors in my three-year old she claimed were not normal. From there, we were referred to the early special education program. From then on, we have just been bamboozled. They told us that if we didn't participate in in-home intensive services, they would hotline us. We did as they asked. Then the counselor from that suggested play therapy for her. The play therapist asked for info from the in-home counselor as to why she referred us and when she got it, she hotlined us. All the behaviors suggest sexual abuse, so they say. And now, because my husband is the only male name they have, he is it!! What they don't realize is that all of these so-called behaviors she had when the pat woman was coming out, she has now GROWN OUT OF!!! The hotline worker came out and said we had to go do a sams exam and we did. The social worker there said I should make my husband leave, for what I asked!!! She said if I didn 't, I would pay for it later! Well the counselor from In-Home was with me and she said that without proof, they couldn't do that. Well a month passed, I thought it was over......yeah right!
A worker called saying "our case" had been assigned to her only until after the holidays when she transferred out of the office. She told me we had been reffered to family court because of the sexual abuse allegations....what allegations?????? Now she called again saying we have been accepted into family court and will now receive a letter saying when we have to appear.
Today, the social worker at the school said they will probably make my husband leave and it would be better if we just cooperated. She even went so far as to say not to try and sneak him home after they ask him to leave because 9 out of 1o times, they know.
Which means after this court date, my husband, because he is the only male name they have and becuase of behaviors my child has now grown out of, will be subjegated to supervised only visits with his kids....which because of his job, will be impossible.
They might as well file divorce papers for us becuase it seems that is what they are after besides our kids
Btw, the SAMS exam (physical exam) was absolutely negative.
We have barely begun
Moderators: family_man, LindaJM
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Dan Sullivan
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Re: We have barely begun
martymay30 wrote: This all started when our pat (parents as teachers) woman noticed behaviors in my three-year old she claimed were not normal.
What were the behaviors?
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martymay30
- Posts: 12
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Sorry the post got so long, I forgot.
She had severe tantrums
she masturbated in front of me( I would tell her that was private and leave)
she grabbed people's privates (mine and her grandma's)
She played really rough with our dog
She was destructive
She hit her baby sister a lot
she rubbed her privates against sister and said "babies can F#@"
Btw, another thing to note is that all of this began when her baby sister was born, after being an only child for two years
As far as my husband is concerned, he never changes the girls or gives them baths or anything because he feel it is inappropriate.
It is now laughable in a way, that it is him that is receiving the brunt of this
Now, besides normal tantrums, I see none of this.
She had severe tantrums
she masturbated in front of me( I would tell her that was private and leave)
she grabbed people's privates (mine and her grandma's)
She played really rough with our dog
She was destructive
She hit her baby sister a lot
she rubbed her privates against sister and said "babies can F#@"
Btw, another thing to note is that all of this began when her baby sister was born, after being an only child for two years
As far as my husband is concerned, he never changes the girls or gives them baths or anything because he feel it is inappropriate.
It is now laughable in a way, that it is him that is receiving the brunt of this
Now, besides normal tantrums, I see none of this.
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Dan Sullivan
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- Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 4:42 am
- Location: Long Island, New York
I can see why the concern.
She could have learned all of these actions in pre school. (I am assuming pre school or day care from what you have said.) Talk to other parents if you can. Ask them if they have seen their kids act out sexually. Tell them your daughter made the claim that babies can. This definitely sounds like something she learned from other children to me.
I would investigate the place where you are taking her.
You need to go to cps investigations forum on this site and read everything you can.
Before you go to court you need to do a declaration of facts filed. Go to this link for help. You need to get your side of the story out in the open before court. In hearings you cannot get all of your side in.
www.geocities.com/whosyurmamma/start.html
Sedwards on this site will help you. You need to get this done right away.
She could have learned all of these actions in pre school. (I am assuming pre school or day care from what you have said.) Talk to other parents if you can. Ask them if they have seen their kids act out sexually. Tell them your daughter made the claim that babies can. This definitely sounds like something she learned from other children to me.
I would investigate the place where you are taking her.
You need to go to cps investigations forum on this site and read everything you can.
Before you go to court you need to do a declaration of facts filed. Go to this link for help. You need to get your side of the story out in the open before court. In hearings you cannot get all of your side in.
www.geocities.com/whosyurmamma/start.html
Sedwards on this site will help you. You need to get this done right away.
**********************************
This is not legal advice;hopefully wisdom
To put it in simple terms…when the authorities ARE the perpetrators and the perpetrators ARE the authorities, there is no earthly justice or recourse, at the end of the day (unless the American people wake up).
Therefore, those who have achieved the highest levels of power seek to ‘enjoy’ the most grievous and extreme injustices. For many of those in the highest circles of power, the greatest statement of power is to perpetrate the greatest possible injustice…the savage, brutal traumatization and abuse of an innocent child.
http://themurkynews.blogspot.com/ MattTwoFour
"Ultimately, the law is only as good as the judge" --- D.X. Yue, 2005, in "law, reason and judicial fraud"
http://www.parentalrightsandjustice.com/index.cgi?ctype=Page;site_id=1;objid=45;curloc=Site:1
This is not legal advice;hopefully wisdom
To put it in simple terms…when the authorities ARE the perpetrators and the perpetrators ARE the authorities, there is no earthly justice or recourse, at the end of the day (unless the American people wake up).
Therefore, those who have achieved the highest levels of power seek to ‘enjoy’ the most grievous and extreme injustices. For many of those in the highest circles of power, the greatest statement of power is to perpetrate the greatest possible injustice…the savage, brutal traumatization and abuse of an innocent child.
http://themurkynews.blogspot.com/ MattTwoFour
"Ultimately, the law is only as good as the judge" --- D.X. Yue, 2005, in "law, reason and judicial fraud"
http://www.parentalrightsandjustice.com/index.cgi?ctype=Page;site_id=1;objid=45;curloc=Site:1
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martymay30
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2006 2:45 pm
just thoughts
Grandpa and longtime family friends....Do you really think I should be worried about her as far as this is concerned? I mean, I really haven't thought about it too deeply because I can not imagine anyone doing those kinds of things to a child. The people we know, I would never ever think of as doing that.
Maybe cps has a point afterall and I should be in their corner in finding out if anything really did happen???
Maybe cps has a point afterall and I should be in their corner in finding out if anything really did happen???
Unless you can totally clear your husband in the eyes of CPS and you know ABSOLUTELY he did nothing, siding with CPS is the last thing you want to do. If he truly didn't do anything, they won't care. I know, I've lived this the last 8 months.
Those are behaviors that could indicate abuse. Whether she learned to rub herself against others, masturbate (that one is sorta normal), and the other sexualized behaviors from the abuser or another child is something you and the doctor you hire will need to find out. I will say from my research that is not normal and not something she will outgrow. It is a huge warning sign.
As I said, I've been living this for the last 8 months. My husband was falsely accused, my son showed none of the sexual behaviors (and honestly, when does a small child having a temper tantrum indicate abuse? Then we've all been abused), and I have absolute proof nothing happened. If you need any information or an ear, please feel free to PM me. I dont know all about the law, but I do know sexual abuse accusations. I'm dealing with a 7yo with PTSS from the abuse CPS did to him, and not his father.
If I can help, let me know.
Those are behaviors that could indicate abuse. Whether she learned to rub herself against others, masturbate (that one is sorta normal), and the other sexualized behaviors from the abuser or another child is something you and the doctor you hire will need to find out. I will say from my research that is not normal and not something she will outgrow. It is a huge warning sign.
As I said, I've been living this for the last 8 months. My husband was falsely accused, my son showed none of the sexual behaviors (and honestly, when does a small child having a temper tantrum indicate abuse? Then we've all been abused), and I have absolute proof nothing happened. If you need any information or an ear, please feel free to PM me. I dont know all about the law, but I do know sexual abuse accusations. I'm dealing with a 7yo with PTSS from the abuse CPS did to him, and not his father.
If I can help, let me know.
martymay30 wrote:she masturbated in front of me( I would tell her that was private and leave)
she grabbed people's privates (mine and her grandma's)
she rubbed her privates against sister and said "babies can F#@"
As far as the masterbating thing ..that doesnt really mean that was what she was doing ...my daughter in her younger days was prone to yeast infections since we lived in Hawaii and spent soooo much time in water play. She often rubbed herself quite a bit ...But I dont know how your daughter was actually doing it.
Grabbing peoples privates ...thats oddish ...
Rubbing her privates on others and the comments made ...wow ...I would be worried on that one ....
On another note concerning that .....in high school my best friends 3 year old sister used to go around humping pillows and kissing them. She called it her exercises....she learned it from watching skinamax not from some pervert. And of course whenever she would grab the pillow and say she had to do her exercises we would laugh hysterically, which would make her laugh and do it more.
Where do YOU think she learned it from? Because I dont want to be the bearer of bad news and all ....but that is NOT normal behavior for a 3 year old.
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Frustrated
- Posts: 3916
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- Location: Canada
- Contact:
This sounds like Disorders, it could easily be ADD< ADHD< and things like that, even bipolar. They do such things as well. My Son was engaged in such acts too, and they say that he has ADD< ADHD< and such, because of violent tantrums, that he hurts other children, he was aggressive, he was like you mentioned, and they say it was the disorder that caused all that.
By the way, the masturbation at the younger age is normal, because he/she is not fearful of it, being fearful of it, is the difference which is Child rape, or Sexual Molestation. The Child would be fearful of the sexual abuser, to which she is not. That is the difference. She wasn't fearful. What we need to be concerned is when it is FORCED upon others.
The Disorders has all kinds of personalities:
1. They would harm their pets
2. They would hurt other Children, being aggressive including biting, pushing, shoving, etc...
3. They would masturbate
4. They would have tantrums, uncontrollable temper, that cannot be controlled
5. They won't listen when they are instructed to do so
6. They don't like authority figures.
7.. They won't follow instructions when told, and would say No to you.
What you NEED is to take the Child to your own Doctor, to have her evaluated. Having your OWN Doctor, a Psch. Doctor to make their own conclusion, would protect your Child. She may have the disorder.
My Son when I took him to my own Psch. Doctor, he concluded that he had Oppositional Defiant Disorder. CPS Doctor evaluated that he has ADHD< ADD< Pschychotic disorder, with PTSD, with Depression, and other disorders attached to it, I cannot seem to remember off my head right now. But the importance is to have your own Doctor to test your Child, so it would differ from the CPS Doctor who evaluated your Child probably privately without your knowledge, or even you know your child was being evaulated by CPS already. You must get a diagnosis, to what Child has, or none at all. It just might protect your Husband, if he has done nothing wrong.
Remember the name introduced by CPS could have came from themselves, they ask leading and very suggestive questions to a Child, they would even put the NAME into the Question as the maltreator, or abuser. So they named him, not the Child. They were supposed to ALLOW the Child to identify the maltreator or Abuser who is doing to her. If she never identified the person, then it was the CPS doing the naming. You must find out if the Child identified the person as this name or such. It is important, because CPS probably already twisted a Child's statement, saying it was your Husband, because they have NO CLUE To who did it to her. It just might be the disorder that is doing to her, it is not her fault. They cannot blame on the Husband, because it is automatic. This is what they see in front of them at the present time, the Husband. Of course they would want him to leave, but they don't have concrete evidence, you need to take this Child to a Psch. Doctor to find out IF she has the disorder or not.
I would find out the School or Daycare where your Child was at, then that could be the place where she learned from. My Child learned it from a Daycare, where he bit and pushed a Child from there, and they were concerned to why my Son was like that, then 10 yrs later, we found out he had the disorder all along.
yup, he masturbated himself, and put it on others. CPS Doctor said it was ADD< ADHD< that is doing to him. If they said that, then your Child must have it too. It has overwhelming circumstances and more to ADD< ADHD< like these episodes, and yes it does happen. There are Children out there that did the same thing, and the Doctors are even more puzzled. They don't know what is causing it, but they are just saying, that the Children has the disorder, and they labelled it ADHD< ADD, but later the Doctor said that since my Son had stopped it, it is not in a Forced manner, it is all solved, and it has stopped for years, then it is just O.D.D.
The Disorders, are very confusing at times, it would be worth it to check the ADD Association and find out what symptoms it has.
By the way, the masturbation at the younger age is normal, because he/she is not fearful of it, being fearful of it, is the difference which is Child rape, or Sexual Molestation. The Child would be fearful of the sexual abuser, to which she is not. That is the difference. She wasn't fearful. What we need to be concerned is when it is FORCED upon others.
The Disorders has all kinds of personalities:
1. They would harm their pets
2. They would hurt other Children, being aggressive including biting, pushing, shoving, etc...
3. They would masturbate
4. They would have tantrums, uncontrollable temper, that cannot be controlled
5. They won't listen when they are instructed to do so
6. They don't like authority figures.
7.. They won't follow instructions when told, and would say No to you.
What you NEED is to take the Child to your own Doctor, to have her evaluated. Having your OWN Doctor, a Psch. Doctor to make their own conclusion, would protect your Child. She may have the disorder.
My Son when I took him to my own Psch. Doctor, he concluded that he had Oppositional Defiant Disorder. CPS Doctor evaluated that he has ADHD< ADD< Pschychotic disorder, with PTSD, with Depression, and other disorders attached to it, I cannot seem to remember off my head right now. But the importance is to have your own Doctor to test your Child, so it would differ from the CPS Doctor who evaluated your Child probably privately without your knowledge, or even you know your child was being evaulated by CPS already. You must get a diagnosis, to what Child has, or none at all. It just might protect your Husband, if he has done nothing wrong.
Remember the name introduced by CPS could have came from themselves, they ask leading and very suggestive questions to a Child, they would even put the NAME into the Question as the maltreator, or abuser. So they named him, not the Child. They were supposed to ALLOW the Child to identify the maltreator or Abuser who is doing to her. If she never identified the person, then it was the CPS doing the naming. You must find out if the Child identified the person as this name or such. It is important, because CPS probably already twisted a Child's statement, saying it was your Husband, because they have NO CLUE To who did it to her. It just might be the disorder that is doing to her, it is not her fault. They cannot blame on the Husband, because it is automatic. This is what they see in front of them at the present time, the Husband. Of course they would want him to leave, but they don't have concrete evidence, you need to take this Child to a Psch. Doctor to find out IF she has the disorder or not.
I would find out the School or Daycare where your Child was at, then that could be the place where she learned from. My Child learned it from a Daycare, where he bit and pushed a Child from there, and they were concerned to why my Son was like that, then 10 yrs later, we found out he had the disorder all along.
yup, he masturbated himself, and put it on others. CPS Doctor said it was ADD< ADHD< that is doing to him. If they said that, then your Child must have it too. It has overwhelming circumstances and more to ADD< ADHD< like these episodes, and yes it does happen. There are Children out there that did the same thing, and the Doctors are even more puzzled. They don't know what is causing it, but they are just saying, that the Children has the disorder, and they labelled it ADHD< ADD, but later the Doctor said that since my Son had stopped it, it is not in a Forced manner, it is all solved, and it has stopped for years, then it is just O.D.D.
The Disorders, are very confusing at times, it would be worth it to check the ADD Association and find out what symptoms it has.
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martymay30
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2006 2:45 pm
There were no statements
There were NO allegations by my child that ANYONE has done anything to her. They are using the behaviors to say that there is evidence of sexual abuse, not actual statements from my child.
Btw, funny you mentioned the disorders, Husband had adhd and I suffer from bipolar...so that is definitly worth a look
Cps has not even talked to my child, and they won't without me or my lawyer present because she is only three years old. I don't even allow therapist to talk to her alone
Btw, funny you mentioned the disorders, Husband had adhd and I suffer from bipolar...so that is definitly worth a look
Cps has not even talked to my child, and they won't without me or my lawyer present because she is only three years old. I don't even allow therapist to talk to her alone
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Dan Sullivan
- Posts: 1538
- Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 4:42 am
- Location: Long Island, New York
Re: just thoughts
martymay30 wrote: Grandpa and longtime family friends....Do you really think I should be worried about her as far as this is concerned? I mean, I really haven't thought about it too deeply because I can not imagine anyone doing those kinds of things to a child.
Did any of them have access to the child?
Like babysitting time where no one was around but them and the little girl.
"Babies can f#@&" she didn't learn in preschool.
Grabbing people's privates is a major flag that a child is being molested.
And the father not changing diapers or giving baths seems odd.
I do think someone was doing something with your daughter based on those behaviors (if your list is accurate).
martymay30 wrote: The people we know, I would never ever think of as doing that.
Don't you think that's what everyone says?
Best, Dan
Re: There were no statements
martymay30 wrote:There were NO allegations by my child that ANYONE has done anything to her. They are using the behaviors to say that there is evidence of sexual abuse, not actual statements from my child.
Btw, funny you mentioned the disorders, Husband had adhd and I suffer from bipolar...so that is definitly worth a look
Cps has not even talked to my child, and they won't without me or my lawyer present because she is only three years old. I don't even allow therapist to talk to her alone
They don't need allegations from your daughter to start the nightmare. Trust me on this. They've already started things going by saying her behavior indicates abuse, now they just have to find someone to blame.
As I said, if you truly know your husband didn't do anything, and believe me this will test your trust, you need to find out where she got the idea that "Babies can F**K." That is a huge, glowing red flag something happened. I would suggest finding a doctor that knows absolutely what he/she is doing when interviewing small children for abuse. Check references and make sure they don't do anything with CPS.
I know this is hard and you're scared. This is going to test your faith, your trust, and your love in so many ways. What you have to do is stop CPS right here and now so you and your specialists can find the reason your daughter is acting like that. Don't even try to pin a disorder on it. Three-year-olds won't be diagnosed with things like bi-polar or ADHD, or at least shouldn't. They're way too young. A disorder isn't the reason she's acting out, though, or rather not the only reason.
Again, I know this is scary, but you have two huge jobs to do: find out why your daughter is behaving like that and keep CPS away. If you aren't proactive with this, then they will start you on another kind of hell. They don't need allegations from the child to start an investigation, and the last thing you want is to have them become involved.
My son never showed any sexual behaviors at all. None. The reason the counselor called into CPS was because he peed his pants at age 6, and to them that meant he was sexually abused by his father. We didn't stand a chance. My son spent 5 1/2 months in foster care, didn't get to see or talk to his father the whole time, saw me once a week for an hour, was abused and molested in one home, and generally put through hell. I tell you this because if CPS thinks he was having 'oral sex orgies with the neighbors' (that was what the counselor said) for peeing his pants, my husband would be rotting in jail and I'd be TPR'd if he showed what your daughter is showing.
Find a lawyer and a good child psychologist immediately. Whether your husband, neighbor, teacher, grandfather, uncle, whomever abused her, or if she learned it from another child in school that is being abused, you have to find out. Do not talk to CPS without a lawyer present. Do not allow CPS anything to do with your child. I hate scaring you, but they will take her away, charge your husband with abuse, and you will have months or years to get things straightened out.
Please, please, please don't think she's 'outgrown' these behaviors. Three-year-olds do not come up with humping things and saying "Babies can f**k" on their own. She learned it from somewhere, and it's up to you to find out where. Somewhere a child is being abused, either your daughter or a playmate, and your family is in danger. You cannot be in denial. You cannot think this will go away. You cannot think none of your friends or family can't do this to a child. Your daughter is what's important. I have lived this for eight months. Sexual abuse is CPS's favorite thing next to neglect to accuse parents of, because it's hard to prove or disprove.
Find a doctor and a lawyer now. Today. Find out why she's doing the things she's doing immediately. Those are not normal and she will not outgrow them. And do not ever say that to CPS, because they will then accuse you of being in denial and take her from you. That is what happened to my family, don't let it happento yours. Take care of your baby, save your family, fight from day 1.
I wish I could hug you. This is so scary, I know. Have faith, use your support from your family, and fight this. Heal your child and dont' forget yourself.
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Momof31995
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Dan Sullivan
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- Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 4:42 am
- Location: Long Island, New York
Momof31995 wrote:What everyone seems to be forgetting here is that the exam came out completely negative........so maybe just maybe she is picking this stuff up from tv or school or even maybe she has seen her parents having relations
Sex abuse exams frequently do come out negative.
In fact when I was accused of SA in 1993 CPS wrote in my case record that the results of the exam (also negative) were consistant with abuse.
What evidence could there be that someone was touching the little girl's privates?
Where on TV or in school would the little girl hear "Babies can f**k?"
There are too many flags indicating SA to believe nothing happened.
And the husband not changing diapers or giving baths because he feels it's inappropriate? Very odd.
Just my HO.
Good luck, Dan Sullivan
Momof31995 wrote:What everyone seems to be forgetting here is that the exam came out completely negative........so maybe just maybe she is picking this stuff up from tv or school or even maybe she has seen her parents having relations
And that is why I said the child needs to be taken to a forensic psychologist that they trust. The thing that has to be done is find out why the child has the behaviors.
My son's physical exam came out negative, too, but that didn't stop CPS. All his interviews came out negative, as well, but they still claim his father did something to him. CPS put my son through at least 11 interviews, and that's just what we know about.
Once CPS has decided a child is abused, they don't care about anything else. The parents are monsters and the child needs to be removed. They will torture a small child just to prove their beliefs, and as parents we have to stop that.
This is why I said get a doctor and a lawyer. Sexual abuse doesn't need physical evidence, and a 3yo needs to be questioned in a certain way to get to the truth. What do you think a 3yo will say when the CPS forensic interviewer lies and says "Tell me the truth about daddy touching you and we'll let you go home."? They said that to my 6yo, and he told them the truth and he went right back to foster care because it wasn't what they wanted to hear. A 3yo will tell them exactly what they want to hear, so the mother has got to be proactive and beat them at their own game.
Find out WHY this child has these behaviors. She obviously learned it somewhere, the questions is where. I'm not accusing anyone, but just because a physical exam came up negative will not be the smoking gun. She's going to have to beat them at their own game, find out why the girl is doing that stuff BEFORE CPS can damage her further. And a 3yo catching her parents having sex once will not cause her to mimic them, especially using foul language.
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Momof31995
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- Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2005 8:58 pm
i totally agree its just beyond me why they would even ask for a physical exam if they are just going to toss it aside when they dont get the expected (positve) results.
I have been dealing with CPS for going on 8 years now off and on and my kids have been in foster care for 2 years they have nothing to go on so they drug my kids with adderoll and then put my poor little boy in a mental hospital for throwing fits....now they have seperated my kids. Im not quite sure what to think of this.........im scared they are trying to divide and conquer.
I turned them into the advocacy office for violation of civil rights and visitation rights and the day after the call to the advocate my visitations were bumped from 1 hour a week to 1 hour on wednesday supervised and 8 hours on saturday unsupervised and now we are being told we should have overnight visits soon..........what scares me is that its always in the back of my mind that they are trying to provide a false sense of security.
im scared to hope that this is actually progress when i know the agency has yet to fulfill the counseling order from the court. and also they are now telling us we need a bonding assessment but no one in our area currently does them.......so where do you go from there?
I have been dealing with CPS for going on 8 years now off and on and my kids have been in foster care for 2 years they have nothing to go on so they drug my kids with adderoll and then put my poor little boy in a mental hospital for throwing fits....now they have seperated my kids. Im not quite sure what to think of this.........im scared they are trying to divide and conquer.
I turned them into the advocacy office for violation of civil rights and visitation rights and the day after the call to the advocate my visitations were bumped from 1 hour a week to 1 hour on wednesday supervised and 8 hours on saturday unsupervised and now we are being told we should have overnight visits soon..........what scares me is that its always in the back of my mind that they are trying to provide a false sense of security.
im scared to hope that this is actually progress when i know the agency has yet to fulfill the counseling order from the court. and also they are now telling us we need a bonding assessment but no one in our area currently does them.......so where do you go from there?
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Dan Sullivan
- Posts: 1538
- Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 4:42 am
- Location: Long Island, New York
Momof31995 wrote: i totally agree its just beyond me why they would even ask for a physical exam if they are just going to toss it aside when they dont get the expected (positve) results.
They get a physical exam to rule out STDs among other things.
And a negative result doesn't mean nothing happened.
Momof31995 wrote: I have been dealing with CPS for going on 8 years now off and on and my kids have been in foster care for 2 years they have nothing to go on so they drug my kids with adderoll and then put my poor little boy in a mental hospital for throwing fits....now they have seperated my kids. Im not quite sure what to think of this.........im scared they are trying to divide and conquer.
I turned them into the advocacy office for violation of civil rights and visitation rights and the day after the call to the advocate my visitations were bumped from 1 hour a week to 1 hour on wednesday supervised and 8 hours on saturday unsupervised and now we are being told we should have overnight visits soon..........what scares me is that its always in the back of my mind that they are trying to provide a false sense of security.
im scared to hope that this is actually progress when i know the agency has yet to fulfill the counseling order from the court. and also they are now telling us we need a bonding assessment but no one in our area currently does them.......so where do you go from there?
I think you've made progress and CPS would probably like to get you out of their hair. The reason for the bump up in visitation is in your case record. You should check it out!
Are you seeing both boys together for eight hours on Saturday?
Ask your worker "Can you tell me when we might start the overnight visits? I'd like to be prepared."
Act like the overnight visits and the eventual return of the boys are inevitable.
And don't be afraid to thank the worker for helping you out (if he/she has and you can bring yourself to do it).
Best, Dan
Where on TV or in school would the little girl hear "Babies can f**k?"
My sister baby sat a family and was constantly finding the younger children watching some of the porn channels that the parents evidently watched and did not put a blocker on those channels.
She told the parents if they did not put a blocker on then she was going to quit her job and report them for child abuse. They put the blocker on, but the kids already had learned too much. Ages of children 3, 5, 7.
Now can you guess if they had gone to pre school what they would have taught the other children.
I believe it was a younger person who taught her to say this.
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This is not legal advice;hopefully wisdom
To put it in simple terms…when the authorities ARE the perpetrators and the perpetrators ARE the authorities, there is no earthly justice or recourse, at the end of the day (unless the American people wake up).
Therefore, those who have achieved the highest levels of power seek to ‘enjoy’ the most grievous and extreme injustices. For many of those in the highest circles of power, the greatest statement of power is to perpetrate the greatest possible injustice…the savage, brutal traumatization and abuse of an innocent child.
http://themurkynews.blogspot.com/ MattTwoFour
"Ultimately, the law is only as good as the judge" --- D.X. Yue, 2005, in "law, reason and judicial fraud"
http://www.parentalrightsandjustice.com/index.cgi?ctype=Page;site_id=1;objid=45;curloc=Site:1
This is not legal advice;hopefully wisdom
To put it in simple terms…when the authorities ARE the perpetrators and the perpetrators ARE the authorities, there is no earthly justice or recourse, at the end of the day (unless the American people wake up).
Therefore, those who have achieved the highest levels of power seek to ‘enjoy’ the most grievous and extreme injustices. For many of those in the highest circles of power, the greatest statement of power is to perpetrate the greatest possible injustice…the savage, brutal traumatization and abuse of an innocent child.
http://themurkynews.blogspot.com/ MattTwoFour
"Ultimately, the law is only as good as the judge" --- D.X. Yue, 2005, in "law, reason and judicial fraud"
http://www.parentalrightsandjustice.com/index.cgi?ctype=Page;site_id=1;objid=45;curloc=Site:1
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Dan Sullivan
- Posts: 1538
- Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 4:42 am
- Location: Long Island, New York
Dazeemay wrote:Where on TV or in school would the little girl hear "Babies can f**k?"
My sister baby sat a family and was constantly finding the younger children watching some of the porn channels that the parents evidently watched and did not put a blocker on those channels.
She told the parents if they did not put a blocker on then she was going to quit her job and report them for child abuse. They put the blocker on, but the kids already had learned too much. Ages of children 3, 5, 7.
Now can you guess if they had gone to pre school what they would have taught the other children.
I believe it was a younger person who taught her to say this.
Have you ever heard someone on a porn channel say "Babies can f**k?"
Maybe it was a younger kid who taught her to say it.
But she'd probably say who it was if someone asked her.
Dan
Have you ever heard someone on a porn channel say "Babies can f**k?"
I wouldn't know I don't watch them.
That is why I made the point of saying "I believe someone younger taught her this."
**********************************
This is not legal advice;hopefully wisdom
To put it in simple terms…when the authorities ARE the perpetrators and the perpetrators ARE the authorities, there is no earthly justice or recourse, at the end of the day (unless the American people wake up).
Therefore, those who have achieved the highest levels of power seek to ‘enjoy’ the most grievous and extreme injustices. For many of those in the highest circles of power, the greatest statement of power is to perpetrate the greatest possible injustice…the savage, brutal traumatization and abuse of an innocent child.
http://themurkynews.blogspot.com/ MattTwoFour
"Ultimately, the law is only as good as the judge" --- D.X. Yue, 2005, in "law, reason and judicial fraud"
http://www.parentalrightsandjustice.com/index.cgi?ctype=Page;site_id=1;objid=45;curloc=Site:1
This is not legal advice;hopefully wisdom
To put it in simple terms…when the authorities ARE the perpetrators and the perpetrators ARE the authorities, there is no earthly justice or recourse, at the end of the day (unless the American people wake up).
Therefore, those who have achieved the highest levels of power seek to ‘enjoy’ the most grievous and extreme injustices. For many of those in the highest circles of power, the greatest statement of power is to perpetrate the greatest possible injustice…the savage, brutal traumatization and abuse of an innocent child.
http://themurkynews.blogspot.com/ MattTwoFour
"Ultimately, the law is only as good as the judge" --- D.X. Yue, 2005, in "law, reason and judicial fraud"
http://www.parentalrightsandjustice.com/index.cgi?ctype=Page;site_id=1;objid=45;curloc=Site:1
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martymay30
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2006 2:45 pm
I feel like I'm on trial here
Right now, there is absolutely no sense in us arguing about where she got this. The thing to do now is let a professional find out the where's and whys. I had already begun therapy before cps intervened, that is one thing they are comending me for. I have taken all of the steps they would have normally recommended in a service plan before they even arrived.
Also, just so you know, I myself was a victim of sexual abuse as a child so I know ALL the signs. However, I also know my own daughter and I belive that most of this is be blown out of porportion. Nevertheless, I am taking the necessary steps to make sure that all my bases are covered and my daughter is safe, just in case.
As far as my husband, the fact that he doesn't want to change or bathe my daughters is not odd. If you knew him, you'd never say that. He is just very proper and believes that males should not have any reason to be around their daughter's privates.
However, with all this in consideration, I will do WHATEVER is necessary to keep the kids with me. The social worker at the physical exam suggested my husband leave the house but, the In-Home socail worker that was with us said not to do this unless they had proof. So I didn't. But, I can tell you right now that at this court if they tell me he has to leave or they take the kids during the investigation....guess which one I'll be choosing, no question !!!
Hubby understand this, he knows we can not let cps get custody no matter what..once that begins, it's 15 months and counting!!!
Also, just so you know, I myself was a victim of sexual abuse as a child so I know ALL the signs. However, I also know my own daughter and I belive that most of this is be blown out of porportion. Nevertheless, I am taking the necessary steps to make sure that all my bases are covered and my daughter is safe, just in case.
As far as my husband, the fact that he doesn't want to change or bathe my daughters is not odd. If you knew him, you'd never say that. He is just very proper and believes that males should not have any reason to be around their daughter's privates.
However, with all this in consideration, I will do WHATEVER is necessary to keep the kids with me. The social worker at the physical exam suggested my husband leave the house but, the In-Home socail worker that was with us said not to do this unless they had proof. So I didn't. But, I can tell you right now that at this court if they tell me he has to leave or they take the kids during the investigation....guess which one I'll be choosing, no question !!!
Hubby understand this, he knows we can not let cps get custody no matter what..once that begins, it's 15 months and counting!!!
Good luck to you and your family. I will certainly be sending good thoughts your way.
All of us here know the dirty way CPS will do things in every state in the country. My son was removed for almost six months because a mandated reporter thought she would be a child saver and call the hotline because she thought peeing in his pants was a major symptom of sexual abuse.
No evidence we gave that this was an ongoing problem we'd been seeking help for mattered. It didn't matter we'd worked with his pediatrician for over two years on that and his behavior. It didn't matter he'd been to two different mental health doctors for his problems. It didn't matter the county school system was working with him twice a week in the classroom for two years.
CPS decided the counselor was right, and that my husband was having orgies with the neighbors while I sat outside eating chocolate.
I put my child first, too, but then in their eyes unless I 'admitted' my husband was abusing my son, I was in denial. I was also coaching him because he never said anything else about sex to anyone else. Although how I coached the school interview they did is beyond me, but that's why they took him.
If you truly believe your husband did nothing, do not under any circumstances ever give CPS the idea you think he did. They will try to make you choose your husband or your child. I can guarantee that. I chose to fight them, all the while maintaining my husband's innocence, and they've done nothing but abuse my son.
CPS truly does not care about the kids. They care about winning and getting their federal funds. Never, ever trust a thing they say to you. Get their manual now and memorize it. Find the site for your state's statutes. Everything you say to them in person, write it down and send it certified (meetings and such). Get a digital recorder, check the recording laws in your state, and if you can record every meeting with them. Get credible doctors on your side, get a lawyer, and start fighting now.
I didn't know a thing when this started and I almost lost my family. My baby was in four different foster homes and three different schools since June 30th. He's been beaten with a belt and molested by another boy. He's been subjected to 11+ interviews where strangers asked him if Daddy did bad things to him. He's home now, but he still cannot see his father or talk to him on the phone. My 7yo has post-traumatic stress syndrome, depression, and an amazing amount of anger. This is what CPS does.
I hope things don't turn out for you like they did my family, but I always think one should be prepared for anything. You must stay one step ahead of them and neve trust them. They honestly do not care about you or your daughter. Sad but very true. It's not fun being a single mother fighting the government. Trust me.
All of us here know the dirty way CPS will do things in every state in the country. My son was removed for almost six months because a mandated reporter thought she would be a child saver and call the hotline because she thought peeing in his pants was a major symptom of sexual abuse.
No evidence we gave that this was an ongoing problem we'd been seeking help for mattered. It didn't matter we'd worked with his pediatrician for over two years on that and his behavior. It didn't matter he'd been to two different mental health doctors for his problems. It didn't matter the county school system was working with him twice a week in the classroom for two years.
CPS decided the counselor was right, and that my husband was having orgies with the neighbors while I sat outside eating chocolate.
I put my child first, too, but then in their eyes unless I 'admitted' my husband was abusing my son, I was in denial. I was also coaching him because he never said anything else about sex to anyone else. Although how I coached the school interview they did is beyond me, but that's why they took him.
If you truly believe your husband did nothing, do not under any circumstances ever give CPS the idea you think he did. They will try to make you choose your husband or your child. I can guarantee that. I chose to fight them, all the while maintaining my husband's innocence, and they've done nothing but abuse my son.
CPS truly does not care about the kids. They care about winning and getting their federal funds. Never, ever trust a thing they say to you. Get their manual now and memorize it. Find the site for your state's statutes. Everything you say to them in person, write it down and send it certified (meetings and such). Get a digital recorder, check the recording laws in your state, and if you can record every meeting with them. Get credible doctors on your side, get a lawyer, and start fighting now.
I didn't know a thing when this started and I almost lost my family. My baby was in four different foster homes and three different schools since June 30th. He's been beaten with a belt and molested by another boy. He's been subjected to 11+ interviews where strangers asked him if Daddy did bad things to him. He's home now, but he still cannot see his father or talk to him on the phone. My 7yo has post-traumatic stress syndrome, depression, and an amazing amount of anger. This is what CPS does.
I hope things don't turn out for you like they did my family, but I always think one should be prepared for anything. You must stay one step ahead of them and neve trust them. They honestly do not care about you or your daughter. Sad but very true. It's not fun being a single mother fighting the government. Trust me.
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Dan Sullivan
- Posts: 1538
- Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 4:42 am
- Location: Long Island, New York
Re: I feel like I'm on trial here
martymay30 wrote: The social worker at the physical exam suggested my husband leave the house but, the In-Home socail worker that was with us said not to do this unless they had proof. So I didn't.
So your husband is still in the home?
Good for you guys.
I was under the impression that he was forced to leave.
CPS can't believe too strongly that he actually did it.
Was the child left alone with other kids while in dayschool?
I'm just trying to help figure out where she might have learned all those things
Best, Dan
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martymay30
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2006 2:45 pm
She has had contact with other males besides my husband but never alone...as far as kids, there was one I babysitted that we all believed was being sexually abused. We tried to report it, but were turned away. I stopped babysitting her. However, believe it or not, two years later my child still talks about her.
Cps said the only reason my husband is suspect right now is because he is the only name they have...However, my husband is in for a long haul because we had three other hotlines against him but, not for sexual abuse. They were dismissed as unfounded but, you know they will use everything they have.
The calls were for dropping my infant on accident, shaking my child when she was a baby, and not letting our child leave her bedroom after bedtime except for bathroom...All were completely unfounded except the last one..and I do NOT believe that is abuse.
Everytime they have had contact with us our home has been proven to be a great and stable home for our kids. I am hopeful this will be one of those times too but it is getting deeper than it ever has.
Cps said the only reason my husband is suspect right now is because he is the only name they have...However, my husband is in for a long haul because we had three other hotlines against him but, not for sexual abuse. They were dismissed as unfounded but, you know they will use everything they have.
The calls were for dropping my infant on accident, shaking my child when she was a baby, and not letting our child leave her bedroom after bedtime except for bathroom...All were completely unfounded except the last one..and I do NOT believe that is abuse.
Everytime they have had contact with us our home has been proven to be a great and stable home for our kids. I am hopeful this will be one of those times too but it is getting deeper than it ever has.
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