Chat log between me and my friend about me being in cps

[NicoletteF]

merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: hey
firefighterchef: hi
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: ready for a really really long story
firefighterchef: if you want to tell me
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I dont mind
firefighterchef: ok
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: when I was born...(yes I have to go back 18 years lol)
firefighterchef: lol
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: my mom and her b/f John was there. My dad was in another state and he called the hospital and they told him I was being born. Well a couple months later my mom begs my dad to take me...
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: So my dad picked me up and I lived with him for 3 and 1/2 years.
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: Well, my moms bf had "better" plans for me so he made my mom file that I was kidnapped
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: So my dad was arrested when I was 3 1/2 the police made me sit in the drunk tank with him (a jail cell with drunks even though my dad wasnt drunk)
firefighterchef: ok
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: When they took me from him I bit and clawed at the cop and broke her nose
firefighterchef: nice
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: They made me take a plane with my mom back to cali. from ill.
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I asked her for a piece of gum and she hit me and told me not to ask stupid questions
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: so we got back to cali. and John locked me in my room with no change of cloths or a bed
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: just a blanket
firefighterchef: what a jerk
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: my mom used to beat me all the time. and when her and John split that gave her a reason to have me stay somewhere else
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: well when I stayed with him he'd put my brother to bed and I'd have to sleep by him on the couch
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: except he wouldnt let me sleep
firefighterchef: really
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I was 5 at the time
firefighterchef: not cool
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I went back to my moms and she wouldnt let me eat anything but carrots and she knew I hated carrots and wouldnt eat them
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: she'd let my brothers beat me after she did
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: when I was turning 7 CPS took me from my mom because they found blood in my hair
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: when they asked my mom why she beat me she said I was a vicious child
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: http://lakesheriff.com/bookingdetail.asp?booknum=14677 <------John he's in jail for what he did to me
firefighterchef: yeah i saw that
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: the first foster home I was in she the woman was about 65
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: she had another girl there
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: well when I got there the woman told the little girl not to talk to trash or children whos mother is a whore
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: the woman threw me down the stairs and beat me
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I told CPS but no one listened because they believed my mom that I was vicious
firefighterchef: omg
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: the lady finally got tired of me and sent me off the a rich family whos daughter just died
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: everything was fine for a year
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: then another child came in and was jealous of me
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: and she began to fight me
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: she dragged me outta my bed and threw me in the pool while i was asleep
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I ran to the closet and locked it (only locked from the inside) and I told them that if they didnt call CPS that theyd have to explain a dead child in their closet
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I left that home and CPS thought it'd be smart to bring me back to the first family
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I went through the same thing
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: that man who I showed you. he fallowed me from place to place
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: he called the woman and asked to speak to me saying he was my dad
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: she threw the phone at me
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: and then I called CPS from school and said I wanted to be moved
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I had to sleep at the CPS office because there where no homes for me
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: about 2 weeks later I went to a home where the woman and her 2 children beat me
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: while living there I was thrown down the stairs (spiral stair case leading to a cement floor)
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: the woman dragged me around the house by my hair
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: her daughter pushed me down a hill and I broke my knee
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: her son pushed me outta a tree and I hurt my back
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: John he found me once again and convinced CPS to let me live with him
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I lived with him, his gf, and my little brother
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: things were fine for a week. then he started doing what he wanted with me when he wanted (usually while his gf tawnya was at work)
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: he let my brother hit me and cuss at me
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I was 10 my brother was 7
firefighterchef: good lord
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: If I wouldve hit him I wouldve got worse
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: we lived in that house for 1 year
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: then we got kicked out and had to live in a small pull along trailor for 4 years
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: he continued to do what he wanted with me.
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I didnt say anything because I told his gf and she didnt believe me so i told my friends and they didnt believe me
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: Tawnya hated me
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: one day I was cleaning my small area of the trailor and I was going inside johns step dads house to go to the bathroom and she yelled at me for not finishing I said I was going to the bathroom and she told me I had to finish first
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I told her she wasnt my mother
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: she ran after me and started banging my head on the truck
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: a guy was delivering fenceing to john and the guy asked if he wanted him to call the cops

merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: John said no because I was used to it and he'd handle it when he got up there
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: That day johns dad kicked tawnya off his land
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: John kept sneaking her over after he was done with me
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: we moved into a rv
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: still not much room
firefighterchef: true
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: We .lived in it for 2 more yrs
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: Bert (johns step dad) passed away October 2nd, 2004
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I knew him as grandpa....he was the only one I trusted
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: so I felt alone
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I started going through a goth stage
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I started eating lunch alone at school and I normally ate with 250 people out of the 400 who went to school there
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: my grades started to drop
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: and thats when I got beat by tawnya worse
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: CPS was getting called all the time
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: and CPS did nothing
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: they knew of the abuse
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: but they let it keep going
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I let all of it happen for 7 years because I didnt know what else to do
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I was so used to being hurt that it didnt matter
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: so a couple months before my 18th birthday I told the cops
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I was so afraid
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: because no one believed me before
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: because my mom labled me as a troubled child
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: told people I lyed to get attention
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: so I gave up
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: the Cops kept asking me if I was lieing
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: and they kept making it seem like they didnt believe me
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: luckly a few months before my dad found me
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I stayed in foster care for the age 7 1/2 til 18
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: My birthday I left in a limo
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I arrived at my dads
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I never spoke to him for 15 years
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: but he was my only escape
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: and Im gald I came here
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: and now no one will help me
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: CPS is supposed to pervide certian things for former foster care children
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: but they wont help me
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: thats why on guy wants me on TV
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: and another aired me on his radio station
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: and I can tell a complete stranger my story but anyone I know I couldnt
firefighterchef: thats not cool
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I have horrible social skills
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I cant even keep my job because I cant talk to people
firefighterchef: well with all that going on thats understandalbe.
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: my cousoler from when i was 5 told me I acted 21 and needed to act my age
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: i weighed 65 lb when i was 10
firefighterchef: thats not good
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I was on so many depression pills that now i cry for no reason
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: I cant sleep until 6 am
firefighterchef: i know the feeling on that one
merry_melon_flavored_lipgloss: bright side i published 3 books and got my diploma 1 yr early and I did it al on my own. but i keep getting sick and theres no help for me because CPS doesnt want to take responsiblity

[Dazeemay]

I have just posted on this forum some cases of where children aged out of the system with no help from the state.

http://forum.fightcps.com/viewtopic.php?t=3220

Perhaps contacting this person who wrote the article will help you know what to do in your case.

Wish I could be of more help.

You said you published 3 books. Were these publishers ones you had to pay to get your books published? Are you getting any royalties from these books?

Also I read your post on Medical Issues.

Are you not on Medicaid?

What state are you in?

[NicoletteF]

i cant prove i was in foster care because the state of california denies I ever was. I live in florida now

[Dazeemay]

Sorry to say I am shaking my head on this one. I just don't know what to tell you.

There is a website and perhaps you can contact this person and maybe she can help you prove that you were in foster care and go from there.

www.Hope4KidZ.org

Let me know if she is able to help you.

[RKeyser]

NicoletteF,,, hun my heart just aches for you,,, I know how you feel except my dad got me before anyone could cause more harm on me,, but to be beaten and denied, that I understand all to well and NO child should ever have to go throught that. can I ask how old you are now? it looks like you might be on your way to some kind of recovery but you need people to listen without judgement because you have every right in the world to tell anyone and everyone how you feel,,,, what about the people who had you in foster care? do you know all the names and addresses? it is possible to burn these people with their own fire,,, God bless you hun, you are in our prayers,, if every you want to just unload you can pm me anytime or email me at [email protected].