Hello, new here with kinship placement questions

[MichelleC]

Hello, I am new here and found this site to be very informative thus far. I have a question concering kinship placement and any help is greatly appreciated. I have a 13 y/o son who was adopted by my husband at the age of 2. His biological father also fathered a girl 9 month prior to our son being born. The bio father died last year. My son and his half sister didnt know that they were related due to the fact that myself and the mother of the girl never told them about their bio father. Well about 30 days ago the half sister to my son found out that my son was her half brother. She has since been taken into custody of DFS. Her mother has had her rights terminated when the girl was 8 y/o. This child has been in and out of foster care since she was 8 weeks old. Since being removed from her home she is now in her 4th foster home in 30 days. We would like to take kinship guardianship if there is such a thing. I have talked to her caseworker 2 different times and she keeps putting me off. I know this is long and confusing but any help would be appreciated. If there is anything your confused about please feel free to ask me to clarify.
Thanks

[Dazeemay]

I do find this part of your post confusing.

Well about 30 days ago the half sister to my son found out that my son was her half brother. She has since been taken into custody of DFS. Her mother has had her rights terminated when the girl was 8 y/o. This child has been in and out of foster care since she was 8 weeks old. Since being removed from her home she is now in her 4th foster home in 30 days.

Well about 30 days ago the half sister to my son found out that my son was her half brother

I understand this part.

Her mother has had her rights terminated when the girl was 8 y/o. This child has been in and out of foster care since she was 8 weeks old.

So, in otherwords she was never adopted.

Since being removed from her home she is now in her 4th foster home in 30 days

Whose home was she removed from, the foster home?

As far as kinship care it is a federal law called ASFA (Adoptions Safe Families Act) which cps nor the states follow without a huge court battle.

You can battle it by writing an Ombudsman if you have one in your state. Write to a State Representative, etc.

[Dazeemay]

Here is a news article naming who the Ombudsman is for your state

http://www.gov.mo.gov/press/Morrow010606.htm

[MichelleC]

Ok, I was worried that this didnt come across as very clear. I will attempt to explain it again. In 1991 I met a man, married and conceived a child. During my 3rd month of pregnancy this man ran away. I then met my current husband and married him. In 1996 my husband legally adopted my son. We had never told him that he was adopted. Due to the fact that this man was never in the pic and we wanted to wait till my son was older to understand better. This man also had a Daughter, she was born in 1991. Same story as mine, he was never around. The mother to this girl lost custody of the girl to DFS and the girl has been in and out of Foster care the majority of her 14 years. This girl has never been adopted by anyone that we know of. She has lived in a girls home called Delmina Woods and other family placement. The last home she was in was her mothers x-husband. I thought that was crazy. Anyway, she was taken back to DFS by this man and said that they didnt want her any longer.
I hope this makes more sense to you all. I am going to try to contact the Ombudsman tomorrow. Thanks for the reply! I appreciate it. If anyone else has any other ideas please let us know.

[good dad]

I think you should be able to file a "Motion of Intervention" with the courts for a courtdate. Usually it is used by grandparents or sibling to show the court you want to be a party in this matter.

You may need an attorney to file it, if you don't understand the process..

[MichelleC]

Ok, I have contacted the Ombudsman 5 times, 3 times by phone and 2 times by email. No response whatsoever. I have contacted the court to file a Motion of intervention and they keep telling me I have to contact the Caseworker for the girl. I am still very confused about who to talk to.
I have spoken with her caseworker numerous times and the Director of Social Services for our county called me Sat evening to speak with me about this telling me to leave it alone. She said the girl is a bad seed and that I am putting my 2 children at home at risk.. I asked what that meant and she wouldnt go into detail. She did ask me if "I knew that it took 1 year for ever year a child is in foster care to straighten them out". What the hell does that mean! I thought that was horrible! I told her that I am not an idiot! I have raised 3 children so far that have left the house and went on to college. I realize that I am not an expert on foster children but trust me my children were not angels. They act like they are the only ones who know how to raise a child. Sorry, I am just very angry at this and am having a hard time understanding this system that they say is in place to protect children.

[Dazeemay]

Director of Social Services for our county called me Sat evening to speak with me about this telling me to leave it alone. She said the girl is a bad seed and that I am putting my 2 children at home at risk.. I asked what that meant and she wouldnt go into detail.

It could be cps has something to hide and the older the girl gets the more threatening it is to them that she will tell. I would suspect having been in foster care that long that she was sexually abused and physically abused. They might want to keep her so that they can age her out of the system knowing that she probably would never do anything about the abuse she received.

She did ask me if "I knew that it took 1 year for ever year a child is in foster care to straighten them out".

Many of us here when we get our children back have to deal with many emotional and behavioral problems in our children. Yes, you have dealt with teen problems, but you add what a child's incarceration does to him/her on top of the teen problems it takes away from the rest of the family because the issues are so intense. Your family must be prepared for this.

And then again the young girl may be so greatful to know that she is wanted and may not cause a problem.

You may need to get a lawyer as Good Dad suggested to file the motion to intervene.

I would suggest writing the Ombudsman. Do CC's on your letter letting him know who all you have sent a letter to. One would be your state representative. I always suggest the state rep because a couple of people I know got results from contacting theirs.

Also someone suggested the county commissioner. You can send it to the head of cps in your county, etc. Anyone you can think of send it to them. CC's are very intimidating to the party reading the letter.

Be sure to get a receipt this way you know and they know they cannot deny receiving it.

[Greegor]

A motion to intervene because your child is a half sibling
of the child in foster care will likely be resisted by
the system. They'd rather keep propagandizing that there
is a shortage of foster homes.

That being said, TRY HARD!

I'd emphasize the foster shortage and the risks
of foster care, as well as the fact the child has already
been moved from foster to foster so many times
in only so many days!

SHAME them into letting you kinship care the child!

Got an attorney worth beans?

Put right in the motion to intervene
- Foster shortage irony
- Kid's been moved 4 times in a month!
- Your kid is that kid's sibling!

Are you sure the child isn't already screwed up
enough that she might endanger the child you have now?
R.A.D. or psych issues like sexual acting out or firestarting?

Even if you shame them enough to let you
care for the child, you might eventually regret
getting what you wish for, unless you take
great pains to make sure the kid isn't
a huge risk for your family.

They might want you to hurry up and get
qualified as a foster home to take the kid.
Normally a kinship home doesn't have to do this,
but you aren't blood kin, though your child is.

For your next trick you'll wrestle bears or
tease pit bulls, right?

Best Wishes!
Greg in Iowa

[MichelleC]

Well we finally have a court date! It is on the 21st of this month. The attorney we have is good. His speciality is family law. But he is slow as heck! We dont have alot of time since there is a court hearing on the 21st of this month. We do plan on trying hard as heck.

No we are not sure about anything in her past. I realize that this is a huge issue but well worth it in our opinion. We have been around this girl for the last year from a distance and have no reason to believe that she is violent. If counseling is needed then that is what we will do. I really believe that this girl would probably like for someone not to give up on her or return her to DFS just like some terrible people do who drop dogs off at the pound when they are done with them!

It is our understanding that we would not be required to be a foster home according to the Dir of Social Services. She may be just telling me that and then at the last minute pull that as a trump card. I am going to speak with the Judge in her case on Wed of next week. He is the one who handled my sons(her half brother) adoption by my present husband. We will see how that goes!!

I am thinking for my next trick I will wrestle bears! I have already teased the pit bulls and that wasnt very much fun.

Thanks for all the help and suggestions. You all are great!

[Dazeemay]

Keep us posted and good luck!!

[Dan Sullivan]

Well we finally have a court date! It is on the 21st of this month. The attorney we have is good. His speciality is family law. But he is slow as heck! We dont have alot of time

GOOD FOR YOU!!!

Keep on that attny.

They all seem to wait till the last minute for everything.

Best, Dan

[Frustrated]

Usually the ones who put it off and put it off are the ones usually good ones. Because it can wear out of their patience. It wears out the patience in the Judge and certainly CPS.

I hear lots of cases being put off for long time up to 6 months, to a Year. They got impatient, and Judge finally sees their true colors and said enough is enough. Good Lawyers usually gather hard proof and evidence of your innocence which is good. Sometimes a Lawyer that does do nothing, can not be good Lawyer either.
No Lawyer is ever good, but it is better than having nothing at all or just represent yourself, that really piss off a Judge certainly, because it goes on a Court Record for later on for Lawsuit, for failure to let the Client know of their certain Legal Rights. If the Judge fails to notify the Client/Defense know about the legal Rights, he or she has good grounds of lawsuit or mistrial of this case.

But this was mostly in Criminal Court, but just as the same. If you wear out the patience of the Judge, it wears thin. They will most likely just give it up. CPS wants rubber stamps approval from the Judge immediately but if the Defense were to put it off, then the time is imperative, and important to WIN the case.

[MichelleC]

Good Grief I never saw this one coming! I have been trying for the last 3 says to speak with the Caseworker and have not been able to. After numerous attempts to reach her with messages left I finally reached her this evening. I wanted to try to touch base with her since the lawyer has not been able to speak with her either. Both him and I tried yesterday and today. According to the C/W the girl has been placed in Residental care. I don't know what this means but the C/W said that she was gone and that she could have no contact with anyone for 90 days. Does anyone know what this means or any ideas about where they are going with this? I am just so lost and confused. Any ideas????
Michelle

[Dazeemay]

http://www.southampton.gov.uk/socialcar ... efault.asp

This link will show what is involved in residential care. I suspect your niece is probably in this breakdown. This is just one type of residential care home. I still think that they harmed her so much that they are hiding what has happened to her through all of those years.

They don't want a law suit on their hands nor do they want it to come out in the open about who they really are.

4. The BRS Residential Unit

The BRS Residential Unit provides a service for young people aged between 13-18 years whose deteriorating mental health, extreme behaviour difficulties or risk of harm to self or others requires a reassessment of their therapeutic and care needs in a multi-agency setting, which cannot be managed within the community.

[MichelleC]

Thanks for the link. I am still at it although very slow. I wanted to share and get input from you all about this. I received a call Friday afternoon from the Juvenile Judge. I thought that this was very interesting. I started explaining my opinion about this girl and he informed me he was already aware of the situation. Hmmmm, this leads me to believe that someone has made him aware of us and our requests. I asked him about her going into residential care and he said he was not aware of that. I find that interesting and told him so. How can he not be aware? He is the only one who could have signed her into the residential care facility. He said he signs alot of things and didnt know the details of this girl. He also told me to keep on her C/W and to continue to make our wishes known. I just thought all this was very interesting. Thoughts Please!!!
Michelle

[Momoffor]

He said he signs alot of things

They are hiding her for whatever reason.

Ironic that they would put her in this home just before the court date ....dont you think?

Lastly, one of the first lessons in life that I was taught (learned the hard way) was read everything before you sign it. Scary that judges admit to signing documents without knowing details just because its in front of them. Especially, when it is life altering.

Glad he shows so much concern and upholding his responsibility to uphold the law.

[Greegor]

The part about nobody having contact for 90 days
is a little game where they claim they need the
90 days for an investigation.

They pretend this 90 days is some sort of
professional requirement like "good practice".

In reality it's 90 days for them to "work the child over"
and get the child to dish out all of the dirt they
can talk her into.

If the child is in kinship care or foster care they
sometimes drag their feet like this so that after
the kid's there 6 months they can say:
She's been settled in there for 6 months
let's not uproot her and move her!

I don't think there is any 90 day requirement in the law.

In my families' case the agency didn't really have
anything good enough to open a case but they
WANTED to, and they told us about a 21 day
evaluation period where we had no visits.
They did this WITHOUT even having a court
removal order, which means they didn't have
the right to dictate anything.

The investigative caseworker even "set me up",
said it was OK for me to deliver stuff to the
kid at school in the morning. The school people
acted like I was a mass murderer and the very
same caseworker tried to write me up for
violating a court no-contact order, thinking
they had one! They quietly shut up when they
realized they did NOT have any such orders!

As far as I can tell, even if they DO have a
court removal order the court orders visits
to be set up right away.

If somebody can show where these
"evaluation periods" are coded into law
I would like to see it.

Otherwise I think it's just a ruse used
to put off family and a pretense at a
social worker nicety.

As a social work nicety it is a fraud
because we all know that child removal
is harmful to a child and this is only deepened
when the child has no visits.