Update from 2-3 Months ago Re: Reunification With My Kids

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Update from 2-3 Months ago Re: Reunification With My Kids

Postby [email protected] » Fri May 05, 2006 7:53 am

Hi.



I just wanted to update you on what has been happening in my journey regarding reunification efforts with my kids. Sorry if I'm sending all of this information at one time. Anyway, I'm going to type what I was writing last night along with some new stuff.

As an overview, I'll say that I've been trying to reunite with the kids for over a year and a half but DSS keeps playing games and making excuses. When I last wrote to this forum awhile back, the plan had still been for reunification but unfortunately DSS petitioned the court on the last court date to relieve the Department of Social Services from any reunification efforts with me. They want the courts to grant legal guardianship to my parents who live way across the United States in California. I'm currently in the state of North Carolina. In about a week the court is going to have the permanency planning meeting. My 10 year old doesn't want to go to California to live in a permanent basis. She only wants a summer vacation. The three year old wants to come with me and my 15 year old said that she's coming back to North Carolina as soon as she turns 18. The seven year old really didn't say where he wanted to go although he had seemed very content at my house on some of the unsupervised visits which I had in the past.

DSS has never offered any comprehensive services to address any of their previous concerns but continue to use the same excuses to try and keep the kids and I apart.

The Guardian Ad Litem has been doing some homework and has found a number of errors regarding certain areas including DSS's failure to grant me the visitation that was ordered by the court.

They continue to use my new husband as an excuse but never bother to offer services. They are lying so much that they can't even remember their own stories.

Has anybody here ever started out with a court-appointed attorney because of financial issues or other issues but then decided to change to private attorney? Has anybody with this experience or anybody that has known another person with this experience seen a difference regarding court-appointed attorneys and those hired privately? Although I'm not trying to stereotype court appointed attorneys, I've heard it mentioned that some court appointed attorneys just ride out the court process and don't do much to help their clients. My neighbor said that she had a court appointed attorney once and that as soon as she got a private attorney, things really started to improve. I was wondering if anybody has ever seen a court change a permanency plan back to reunification after another judge decided to terminate reunification efforts?

___________________________

May 4th, Thursday

Judy Fitzpatrick Gurdian ad Litem for the children called today and left a message. I returned her call a little while later. We only had time to talk for a few minutes but Judy seemed very interested in how many visits I'd had with the kids. Judy seemed to be implying that she thought DSS had screwed up on their visits and had made up excuses etc. and that told me that part of her job was to make sure that DSS was doing their job.

Judy actually showed up later on after the phone call for part of my weekely visit with the children today.

The visit went well. Millie kept telling me at different points during the visit "I want to go with you, Mama. I want to go home to your house with you, Mama." I told Millie that I would take her with me if there was any way I could possibly do that.

At the end of the visit, Amelia (Millie) got very upset and started crying while she continued to say "I want to go with my Mama.: At the end of the visit, when we were out in the parking lot getting the other kids into Wendy Hall's vehicle, Millie became practically hysterical as she continued to tell Wendy "I don't want to go with you. I want to go with my Mama." I t was quite a task to get Millie buckled into the child safety seat. I told Wendy to tell the group home to please let Millie call me later and Wendy said she would tell the group home.

I still want my kids back. I firmly believe that they need to be with me and that TPR, guardianship of the kids to my parents or even adoption of the kids would not be in the kids best interests.

I believe that DSs has violated my rights and also the rights of my children on various occasions.

One of the judges named April Woods had even told DSS in court that it appeared as if DSS never thought I would get to the kids back so they really didn't put much into helping me by providing necessary resources.

I feel that many people in DSS just sat back and rode out the clock. They knew about the time frames and deadlines that courts tend to follow regarding juvenile court and they kept dishing out excuses and accusations but didn't offter me services to address many of the issues which they had seemed concerned with.

One of the huge excuses DSS always held over my head was Saidel Hernandez who is now my husband. We were married on December 1, 2006 out in Raleigh, North Carolina.

DSS stated that Saidel had inappropriately disciplined David in the past by spanking him with a belt and that he had also hit me with a belt.

Saidel has been to parenting classes through SCAN and he has also been going to private counseling sessions with me over at Donlin Counseling Center with Ryan Ward. Among the issues we've been dealing with have been anger management. Saidel has not hit me in over a year and he is remorseful about his inappropriate discipline techniques with David. Saidel and I actually took it upon ourselves to attend counseling with our own free will since we thought it would be beneficial and useful.

DSS has been using Saidel as an excuse but never refered us to services which would address these issues regarding his alleged problems with domestic violence.

Failing to make referrals to domestic violence seems odd to me since one of the other mothers at the home told me that DSS had told her to attend counseling for domestic violence. I can't understand why they didn't provide referrals for Saidel's past issues with domestic violence.

I've had two people tell me that they thought there was a lot of discrimination over at the Department of Social Services.

I totally disagree with DSS's most recent decision to terminate reunification efforts with me and want to appeal this decision and put "Reunification with Mom" back on the table as the permanency plan.

I also believe that DSS has engaged in racial discrimination against my husband and myself.

I just want my kids back. They are my flesh and blood.

I want Saidel to be added to the current reunification plan with me since he is now married to me.

I request that unsupervised visits between myself and the kids be restored along with some sleepovers and that Saidel be allowed at at least some of the visits at the beginning and then later on at any of the visits he chooses to be present at.

I would request that the children be returned to me within a reasonable amount of time and that myself and my family be reconnected a case worker from family reunification services.

I feel that many of the previous struggles could have been avoided if DSS had just done their job and treated people equally according to the services they needed and not according to personal biases, discrimination or other issues.

______________________

During our discussion today, Judy seemed very interested in the number of visits that I had been granted with the kids. She did tell me that she had spoken with the director of the group who had told Judy what I was supposed to have said but it turns out it was a lie anyway. It was the situation where one of the works had tried to get my address so that she could drive by to see where I lived. Her story to DSS to try and cover up the lie was that I had invited her over to my house to try and help me with my case which wasn't true. She isn't somebody that I trusted very much anyway.

Judy thinks that I should definitely seek out the services of this other attorney and get rid of the other attorney.

Judy had wanted to know what kind of services that DSS had offered me throughout this whole time and I told her that they hadn't really offered anything at all except mental stress.

If this attorney turns out to be good then I think we might actually have a chance in court.

It's kind of going to be awkward later on when my Mom comes out. My Mom thinks that I'm going to try and encourage the court to give her legal guardianship of the kids which I'm not planning to do. That would only be after all the other options had been exhausted and I'm not done fighting for my kids and I'll never be done.

Judy said that Amelia's (Millie's) tears yesterday should alone be enough to give me the drive to want them back.

I called the new attorney's office to see if there had been any cancellations to hopefully get in to see her to today but there weren't any cancellations so I might have to just wait until my appointment next week.

I'll send this letter now.


Thank you for your patience.

Angela
Hi Dan.

I just wanted to update you on what happened since yesterday. Sorry if I'm sending all of this information at one time. Anyway, I'm going to t ype what I was writing last night along with some new stuff.

___________________________

May 4th, Thursday

Judy Fitzpatrick Gurdian ad Litem for the children called today and left a message. I returned her call a little while later. We only had time to talk for a few minutes but Judy seemed very interested in how many visits I'd had with the kids. Judy seemed to be implying that she thought DSS had screwed up on their visits and had made up excuses etc. and that told me that part of her job was to make sure that DSS was doing their job.

Judy actually showed up later on after the phone call for part of my weekely visit with the children today.

The visit went well. Millie kept telling me at different points during the visit "I want to go with you, Mama. I want to go home to your house with you, Mama." I told Millie that I would take her with me if there was any way I could possibly do that.

At the end of the visit, Amelia (Millie) got very upset and started crying while she continued to say "I want to go with my Mama.: At the end of the visit, when we were out in the parking lot getting the other kids into Wendy Hall's vehicle, Millie became practically hysterical as she continued to tell Wendy "I don't want to go with you. I want to go with my Mama." I t was quite a task to get Millie buckled into the child safety seat. I told Wendy to tell the group home to please let Millie call me later and Wendy said she would tell the group home.

I still want my kids back. I firmly believe that they need to be with me and that TPR, guardianship of the kids to my parents or even adoption of the kids would not be in the kids best interests.

I believe that DSs has violated my rights and also the rights of my children on various occasions.

One of the judges named April Woods had even told DSS in court that it appeared as if DSS never thought I would get to the kids back so they really didn't put much into helping me by providing necessary resources.

I feel that many people in DSs just sat back and rode out eh clock. they knew about the time frames and deadlines that courts tend to follow regarding juvenile court and they kept dishing out excuses and accusations but didn't offter me services to address many of the issues which they had seemed concerned with.

One of the huge excuses DSS always held over my head was Saidel Hernandez who is now my husband. We were married on Dcember 1, 2006 out in Raleigh, North Carolina.

DSs stated that Saidel had inappropriately disciplined David in the past by spanking him with a belt and that he had also hit me with a belt.

Saidel has been to parenting classes through SCAN and he has also been going to private counseling sessions with me over at Donlin Counseling Ceneter with Ryan Ward. Among the issues we've been dealign with have been anger management. Saidel has not hit me in over a year and he is remorseful about his inappropriate discipline techniques with David. Saidel and I actually took it upon ourselves to attend counseling with our own free will since we thought it would be beneficial and useful.

DSShas been using Saidel as an excuse but never refered us to services which would address therese issues regarding his alleged problems with domestic violence.

Failing to make referrals to domestic violence seems odd to me since one of the other mothers at the home told me that DSS had told her to attend counseling for domestic violence. I can't understand why they didn't provide referrals to Saidel's past issues with domestic violence.

I've had two people tell me that they thought there was a lot of descrimination over at the Department of Social Services.

I totally disagree with DSS's most recent decision to terminate reunification efforts with me and want to appeal this decision and put "Reunification with Mom" back on the table as the permanency plan.

I also believe that DSS has engaged in racial discriminatin against my husband and myself.

I just want my kids back. They are my flesh and blood.

I want Saidel to be added to the current reunification plan with me since he is now married to me.

I request that unsupervised visits between myself and the kids be restored along with some sleepovers and that Saidel be allowed at the visits.

I would request that the children be returned to me within a reasonable amount of time and that myself and my family be reconnected a case worker from family reunification services.

______________________

During our discussion today, Judy seemed very interested in the number of visits that I had been granted with the kids. She did tell me that she had spoken with the director of the group who had told Judy what I was supposed to have said but it turns out it was a lie anyway. It was the situation where one of the works had tried to get my address so that she could drive by to see where I lived. Her story to DSS to try and cover up the lie was that I had invited her over to my house to try and help me with my case which wasn't true. She isn't somebody that I trusted very much anyway.

Judy thinks that I should definitely seek out the services of this other person and get rid of the other attorney.

Judy had wanted to know what kind of services that DSS had offered me throughout this whole time and I told her that they hadn't really offered anything at all except mental stress.

If this attorney turns out to be good then I think we might actually have a chance in court.

It's kind of going to be awkward later on when my Mom comes out. My Mom thinks that I'm going to try and encourage the court to give her legal guardianship of the kids which I'm not planning to do. That would only be after all the other options had been exhausted and I'm not done fighting for my kids and I'll never be done.

Judy said that Amelia's (Millie's) tears yesterday should alone be enough to give me the drive to want them back.

I called the new attorney's office to see if there had been any cancellations to hopefully get in to see her to today but there weren't any cancellations so I might have to just wait until my appointment next week.

I'll send this letter now.


Thank you for your patience.

Angela

Sick of Um
Posts: 18
Joined: Sun Apr 30, 2006 8:04 am

All I can offer is...

Postby Sick of Um » Fri May 05, 2006 8:43 am

A court appointed attorney is nothing but a road block. I would be very careful about any attorney! Check them out, get referalls Don't just let them tell you how good they are. Our case plan was also reunification. First of all there was no case. Second of all they never plan on giving children back. They always have to have there hooks in somehow. They are parasites! We refused "services". They could give no reason for services, but they weren't going to release our children ,(so they say) until we did! If CPS has petitioned that your children are go to your parents, then thats where they will more than likely end up! You need to understand that everyone in the courtroom,(minus yourself), are on the same team! They are playing with you. The GAL may appear at times to be concerned, but its all an act! If you can't understand why your kids have been gone for so long, it's because they planned it that way. The reason why the kids will more than likely end up in CA is because CPS/DSS will set it up where they will have their hooks in your kids. There is no guarauntee that they won't take them from your parents down the road. I'm hopefull that the others can help you on just what you need to do. Whatever you choose, trydesperatly to make sure there are no strings attached with the relative placement! Hope I wasn't to blunt. These are some of the most difficult posts to reply to. I hope some of info will be helpful.

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Postby [email protected] » Fri May 05, 2006 8:51 am

Hi.

Thank you for your letter.

I had seen an attorney last week who gave me the referral to see the attorney which I'm going to be speaking with this next week.

I plan to be very careful and I really don't trust DSS or many other people for that matter. I'll be glad when this whole thing is over.

Angela

thiasmommy
Posts: 105
Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2005 1:58 pm

Postby thiasmommy » Sat May 06, 2006 5:53 am

Dear Ash,

Dcf played the reunification game with me. They held a secret staffing to change the goal from reunification to permanancy 3 day's before my court hearing.

They never notified me of their little meeting.

When we went to court 3 days later it was trial by ambush, the judge closed my case and left my children seperated. I was crushed.

and listen to sickofum they are in each others pockets, they do call each other and plan on how they are going to stick it to you. they did this in my case.

and YES a hired attorney is much better than a court appointed one.My court appointed lawyer didn't read up on my case and couldn't keep up with all the B.S.

It has been now 8 months since they closed my case. I hired dcf's ex- attorney, who knows all their rotten tricks. we went to court on 4/27/06 and he plumitted them in court. The judge re-opened my case and now dcf has already messed up. I am just sitting back and watching them mess up now.

The judge also realized that dcf was full of crap the first time. I don't have a case plan this time.

HIRED ATTORNEYS MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE, but you need to collect all the information so he can use it against them in court

best
Dennise

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Postby Bob_Lynn » Sat May 06, 2006 6:30 am

thiasmommy wrote:HIRED ATTORNEYS MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE,


Be careful when you say that, sometimes the biggest (and only) difference between a court appointed attorney and a hired attorney is the amount of money you will have to pay.

When you hire an attorney, interview him/her thoroughly.

Just some of my opinion:

Any attorney who tells you to just go along with CPS or they always win but you need someone to represent you, say "thanks but no thanks". Any attorney who wants to charge you an exhorbitant fee (unless you actually did commit a crime against your child), skip and go on to the next one. Any attorney who doesn't talk about your constitutional rights is not going to help your case.

Bottom line, there are many, many bad or good-old-boys attorneys out there. You have to remember they're all part of the system even when they are private attorneys and very few will take on CPS the right way (or even know how) and these attorneys will then play the game and fake it. It's a payday for them, win or lose.

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pebbles04
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Postby pebbles04 » Wed May 17, 2006 10:55 pm

First and Foremost I would like to establish something with the permanancy placement. I dont know what your relationship with your family is in California or if it is even good. But my mom had spoke on occasion of trying to gain custody of my kids and then my moving out of state and when the things died down actually give me custody back. Now as you have seen from my post in the past that didnt work out. But regardless of the matter I think that if you have a good relationship with them that is what you should do. Otherwise if you dont then you might lose them altogether. As in no one in your family ever seeing them again. That is what my family is facing right now although my family put in a great effort for my kids. I am living with that nightmare everyday even though I didnt have that choice. So from one parent to another that is living this I would go ahead and let them have them temporarily...move out of the state and gain custody back. That is depending on the situation with these specific family members. In the long run what is more important? Having the kids with your parents where they dont like where they are or losing them for the rest of their lives? Not to be harsh..but that is an option. I know what you are going through though. My plan was do this and that and the whole goal was "return home to the mother/reunification"...but guess what happened? The same thing that they did to you..one day it was "oh well we think that you are making great efforts in proving that you can and will provide for these kids" and then they all of sudden changed it to "we dont believe these kids should be there" and changed the goal to adoption and did an involuntary TPR (Termination of Parental Rights).

In pertains to Court Appointed Attorney's. The good majority of them are a crock. What you have been told is true..they do enough to show they are making an effort but otherwise could give two shi*s about your case. Hell why should they? They are getting paid regardless. I know that I had a Court Appointed for some time and she was rude to me when not in front of the judge and told me that she believed I was guilty cuz hell why would social services say I was if I wasnt. I dont know maybe cuz it is a conspiracy! You at least have some things on your side when it comes to the situation. You at least have a guardian that is on your case and on your side. Mine was totally against and made the decision that my kids SHOULDNT be with me way before he EVER met with me. They had already terminated my rights before I EVER met with him for the first time. But I know from experience they are not what they ARE SUPPOSED to be. I know I received a private attorney...and well by the time that happened they would have fought the case appropriately and it would have helped whereas by that time it was too far and they were all afraid to get involved too far into it knowing that it was possible that they would lose their case and all I can assume is that they didnt want bad rates/publicity. Who knows. I hope that this helps you in some way.

In addition the final thing to say is to keep the strength and keep fighting. DO NOT give up unless you relinquish your rights and let your family in California have them. And also God Bless you and I hope that things turn out for the better and those babies are returned to you. Sorry this was a little long.
*whoever said that there is a honest social worker.?...they are not all totally honest and just because they are workers does not make them invinceable nor 100% honest...**
(that is my quote)


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