Hi ..new here..NOT new to CPS fighting

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cgbr
Posts: 17
Joined: Thu Sep 14, 2006 6:05 am

Hi ..new here..NOT new to CPS fighting

Postby cgbr » Thu Sep 14, 2006 6:50 am

We're now in NC, and are waiting for the paperwork to prove yet another false allegation against us. We're a military family, and have lived in MA, NYC and here.

We seem to attract problem neighbors who think they know better than us how to raise our children (we have four, now 10; 6; 5 and 4).

It started with someone saying we were punishing our daughter by spraying her with the hose - but the reality was that we were all outside PLAYING with the hose and washing the cars in the summertime. Then someone called because same child is a screamer when she's punished. I'd send her to her room and she'd scream bloody murder. That MUST mean I'm beating her they said. Then I missed picking her up from the bus stop one day. I was sitting in traffic in a construction area, and had been told "if you're late, pick your child up at school" so I went to the school. They didn't have her, we ALLL panicked, bus driver said "Oh, some lady who looked like you was at the bus stop so I let her off!" A 5 year old child let off the bus WITH A STRANGER against SCHOOL POLICY! Raced home, she was at playground being watched by neighbor's mother as she played with neighbor.

I said sorry, explained situation, thanked her for watching Sarah. Next thing I knew CPS was knocking on my door! WTF?! Easily proved again that I'd had the appointment, when I'd left, there was construction, and that I'd gone to the school per instructions and it was the bus driver's fault.

We moved to a new town. DD had been through two siblings' births in 18 months, two moves in less than 12 months, was trying to adjust to full day K after a half-day program AND she was on Adderall, which kept her from being able to eat or sleep.

Next thing I knew school says (just six weeks after we'd moved there) Oh your daughter has Asperger's Syndrome, ODD, and OCD and we want her tested and in special ed. We said no, she needs to be off these meds and to feel secure in her life again. They cried educational and mental health neglect to DSS.

Then we began homeschooling and headed that crap off quickly. School was unhappy and called DSS again to force us to continue "speech" therapy.

Neighbor decides she doesn't like me and starts making calls because she heard me and DH fighting. She actually said we only fed the baby and not the other kids! WTF?! My son sneaks outside without me and she calls. I swear the witch stood on her porch taking notes about anything she saw us do. That investigation was still open when I nearly died after having my last child, and the hospital called DSS because "It's policy if a mother of a newborn is in intensive care." Ended up with DSS in my life for a year, forced to put my oldest back in school and my husband and I nearly divorced. That's been the only time that we REALLY stood up to DSS though, and it was HARD.

We moved, case was closed. Thought we could breathe again. NOPE. The day after we move in, my son (then 4) got lost as we walked around the neighborhood. CGPD told military social worker. Our old state's military social worker calls new state's and tells them to keep an eye on us! So then new worker calls DSS asking them to check on us and telling them we had an old case in previous state.

DSS was like of course he got lost, you just got here! So DSS goes away only to come back two weeks later because some neighbor called saying we weren't homeschooling properly because my oldest was riding her bike during the day. WTF?! Homeschooled children get to have PE too! BUT the funny thing was, we WEREN'T HOMESCHOOLING - she wasn't in school yet because NYC wanted a new evaluation of her academic abilities and they hadn't placed her yet. (I should tell ya'll the horror of what said child went through the six weeks she went to school there before we pulled her out, but that doesn't involve DSS)

So they go away and we had a few months rest, til the day I found out my now 5 year old is autistic. I'd gone from a neurologist's visit to shopping at the commissary. Sent kids to playground while I took cold stuff up to the apartment (playground right outside apartment) and changed baby. Came down within ten minutes, had been watching from window and saw ALL children on the playground while I was in kitchen. Got to downstairs to find she had wandered off. Found her just across the street within 2 minutes, but was upset. CGPD didn't like it that I was upset - it had JUST hit me that I have a special needs child - so they called DSS. "There must be something going on, because mom was freaking out!" WTF of course I was!!!

That time I ended up taking a stupid parenting class which I didn't need and I was actually asked to teach the section on special needs children since I have practical experience and caseworker teacher didn't! WHAT A JOKE!!

So we move again. FINALLY, it's been nearly a year now, we can relax. Neighborhood is quiet, full of kids...then next thing I know last month here comes DSS. Guess what? Someone doesn't like the fact that my kids go barefoot. HELLO IT'S SUMMERTIME! They have like six pairs of flipflops each, three pairs of sneakers, a couple pairs of church shoes. They said my house is messy. No duh, I have four children of my own and half the neighborhood visiting right now so of course there are TOYS out and being played with. No dishes in the sink, counters clear, floor is swept and mopped...no laundry piled up waiting to be washed, bathrooms nice and fresh because I CLEAN MY HOUSE but TOYS are "mess." My kids wander around half-naked. No, my son just doesn't want to wear a shirt because it's TOO HOT and he's a boy so it doesn't matter.

The worker said she'd be sending me a letter saying they were closing out the case unfounded (she actually asked if I had any clue which neighbor I'd ticked off because it was obvious someone was being malicious - but I have NO recourse against their false accusations) but that was two weeks ago. If it's not here by Friday I'll be knocking on THEIR door.

OH...interestingly, the worker handed me a paper saying they are using NC FIRE LAWS to state that children under 8 can't be alone at any time for any reason even in their own fenced in backyard. Yet if I didn't let those 5 to 8 year old children walk to the bus stop on their own I'd be hindering their independence and keeping them from "naturallly" separating from their parents and stifling their growth don'tcha know?! (an you feel my eyes rolling?!)

So CPS worker goes to leave, and at the door was neighbor's 4 year old child, shirtless & barefoot - it was GREAT! (See, nobody else wears shoes or clothing in my neighborhood LOL!).

That's pretty much our story in a nutshell.
Last edited by cgbr on Fri Sep 22, 2006 10:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

cgbr
Posts: 17
Joined: Thu Sep 14, 2006 6:05 am

Postby cgbr » Thu Sep 14, 2006 7:34 am

Never mind. I just called and left a message on worker's phone about written verification of them closing the case, because it's been two weeks already. We'll see what happens. While she seems nice, I don't trust anyone in DSS.

I just realized though that I don't have anything from the initial visit saying they were investigating us or anything, just copies of the "safety assessment" she did that day (but she only sat in the living room, didn't go through the house or anything).

pamom2crew
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Location: pennsylvania
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Postby pamom2crew » Sat Sep 16, 2006 8:07 pm

Came down within ten minutes, had been watching from window and saw ALL children on the playground while I was in kitchen. Got to downstairs to find she had wandered off. Found her just across the street within 2 minutes, but was upset. CGPD didn't like it that I was upset - it had JUST hit me that I have a special needs child - so they called DSS. "There must be something going on, because mom was freaking out!" WTF of course I was!!!



That part soundfs like my case, except I only ran inside for literally..1 minute.
And I didn't yell, or anything.
Yet, I have an indicated case against me.
So, good luck with that.
wrongly accused mom of 7 great kids

"never give up"

ummali
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 6:26 pm
Location: Maryland
Contact:

Hi I am new

Postby ummali » Sun Sep 17, 2006 8:18 pm

Hi
I am new and thank God I have never been investigated by CPS. I have come extremely close though and have several friends who had children investigated or taken. I am writing in response to the military lady whose kids kept wandering away and were reported everywhere she moved. Forgive me if I sound judgemental because I dont intend to but there must have been some reason why you were reported repeatedly. I hope we can all be honest here because that is the only way to help ourselves and one another. The families who are my friends who had their homes investigated were using illicit drugs and/or physically and verbally abusive. I witnessed it and even though I never called, I was very disturbed by some of the behaviors. I know there are lots of things I need to improve and change, but calling your kid a MF@#$er is over the top to me.

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Dazeemay
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Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2005 1:07 pm

Postby Dazeemay » Sun Sep 17, 2006 9:56 pm

Once you are reported to cps you are theirs for life no matter where you move. Your name and your children's names go on the central registry of each state and if a current bill being proposed is passed to place all names on the federal registry it will make us all felons.

Welcome to the board ummali.
**********************************
This is not legal advice;hopefully wisdom

To put it in simple terms…when the authorities ARE the perpetrators and the perpetrators ARE the authorities, there is no earthly justice or recourse, at the end of the day (unless the American people wake up).

Therefore, those who have achieved the highest levels of power seek to ‘enjoy’ the most grievous and extreme injustices. For many of those in the highest circles of power, the greatest statement of power is to perpetrate the greatest possible injustice…the savage, brutal traumatization and abuse of an innocent child.
http://themurkynews.blogspot.com/ MattTwoFour

"Ultimately, the law is only as good as the judge" --- D.X. Yue, 2005, in "law, reason and judicial fraud"
http://www.parentalrightsandjustice.com/index.cgi?ctype=Page;site_id=1;objid=45;curloc=Site:1

Momoffor
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Postby Momoffor » Sun Sep 17, 2006 11:41 pm

Military housing is worse than grammer school for the drama involved. Everyone is in everyones business and it is totally and completely a keeping up with the jones's atmostphere, or playing the "my husband is a higher rank than you so therefore I am better than you and I will do any and everything to prove it". I hated Military housing with a passion!! When I lived there, I minded my business and didnt talk to anyone else who lived there other than they typical hi bye conversations. Never tried to make friends with any of them, and NEVER socialized with them.

In your military housing handbook, it states the rules and regulations in housing. I promise you that 5 years old is not an ok age to be left out and about, weather you can see them through the window or not. The Mp's would have notified CPS or FAP either way, as they are required to do, not because how you put it, you were hysterical so they thought something was going on. (When I moved into base housing that was part of the speech I got upon walkthrough and I found it printed numerous times in the handbook as well).

You say your daughter is autistic, but dont mention which end of the spectrum. If she is low functioning or non functioning, she shouldnt be left in situations like that at all. Aspergers ...eh ....is like a little quirk that makes kids a little more individual than others thats all.

Ummali, Im sorry that you associate with people like that. Be careful that you dont start getting looked at for guilty by association, or that your friends dont start playing the blame game on you for them getting turned in or called on. Its very real when people make false accusations. "It never happens to you, it only happens to people who really are doing bad things to their kids"......I think I can speak for the majority of us here, thats what WE used to think too, until it happened to us.

cgbr
Posts: 17
Joined: Thu Sep 14, 2006 6:05 am

Postby cgbr » Mon Sep 18, 2006 9:55 am

She is high functioning., undiagnosed right now as she is needing more genetic testing and an evaluation by the Duke Pediatric Genetics clinic.

Remember, this was only a couple hours after I was told that she was autistic, and it hadn't quite hit me yet. The complaint specifically said that they were calling not because she'd wandered off, BUT BECAUSE OF MY REACTION TO IT!

The complaint read: "Child wandered away from playground. Child was found within a couple minutes of wandering off. Supervision IS NOT a concern, but rather mother's hysteria and child acting AFRAID OF MOTHER. Child is newly diagnosed with autism and mother seems to be denying her child's condition and may need assistance parenting a special needs child." Denying my ass, it had only been a couple damn hours since I'd first heard the word in connection with my daughter!

What happened was that I had told Megan to get in the van, and she stood there looking at me crying and didn't do anything. When I reached to pick her up, she sat down where she was and cried harder because she didn't want to get in the van, she wanted to go back to the playground. They decided that because I was reaching for her and she drew away, and because I was blubbering like an idiot, that Megan was scared.

And yes, military housing is notorious for drama and busybodies who have nothing better to do than mind everyone else's business. The ONLY times we've had problems have been when in housing and around other military people. Which have been for the last three places we've lived in.

Was I wrong to let the kids go to the playground while I took the baby and the cold groceries upstairs? I could debate it with you but there's no point. I can see where it was, even if I don't agree with it. How about the mom whose 3 year old plays for hours every day at the same playground, and you can't even see his building from the playground? Think anyone called on her? No, her husband is a Chief and that makes it all ok.

That doesn't make it any less an issue with people calling DSS for frivolous crap like kids playing barefoot in their own FENCED backyard, and the way DSS has way too much unchecked power.

It doesn't take away the pain of an investigation or the worry over my kids being taken away because someone doesn't like that they play barefoot in their own fenced in backyard or because someone might decide that a special needs child shouldn't be homeschooled or because of some other silly stupid reason someone who doesn't know us might think of because they think that they're better than me because their husband's of a higher rank and I don't play spouse club games.

I didn't even mention when someone called because I'd left the two younger kids in the car on a rainy morning while I walked my daughter in to school (this being in K, before we began homeschooling) because, hey, know what...I shouldn't have done it and DSS was just doing their job. Stupid me should have planned better to have an umbrella or whatever. Asked another mom to watch them while I walked Sarah in instead of thinking "I'll only be a minute, they'll be fine."

But most of the calls have been TOTAL BS calls. I've seen firsthand how devious DSS can be.

My marriage nearly didn't survive the machinations of DSS who thought that because my husband liked to play a German character on Call of Duty meant that he has violent tendencies and I really should take the kids and leave before he hits me, when he has no history of violence whatsoever. Or that just because I'd nearly died and was recovering from it and having to go to the doctor once a week for Coumadin checks meant my daughter shouldn't be homeschooled and if I didn't enroll her in school they would take ALL the kids from me for it.

The more I fought that one the more "issues" they came out with saying I needed help with. In my PJs at 0900 when worker comes by unannounced, feeding the kids breakfast and they're still in their PJs? Whoa, mom is depressed and not coping well with her recover and adding another child to the family!

Stupid shit like that is why I'm here. If you don't think I should be, then too damn bad. Don't read my posts.


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