The KKK took our babies away

[jackiew75]

I will tell you this...... If you thought you and your husband had a lot of stress before, think again.....

As our attorneys have put it to us, all departments involved (police, DCYF, schools, etc) will be watching over you in your "fish bowl".... These people know that being put through this is an enormous stressor and love to receive more complaints about DV..... Put all of your other troubles aside (money and such) and focus on the kids being returned..... If you dont and end up in more screaming matches and arguments, trust me.... they will use this against you.

One last thing.... Get yourself a folder and get copies of EVERYTHING! Since you will be appointed attorney's, make COPIES for them and keep a set for yourself. We had a wicked loser of an attorney the first time around and I made the mistake of handing over files that I did not have copies of.... Please dont make this mistake! Better yet, invest in a scanner if you dont have one and put everything on disk and tuck them away....

Good luck to you...

[Stitchwitch D]

We've been keeping copies of all paperwork, but I'll get a folder tomorrow to put it all it.

Since the last time I posted:
-I got a second job, almost full-time, and I've kept my part time job
-My husband got admitted to community college, for a program that has really great prospects of getting him steady, good-paying work.
-My husband has been applying for jobs all over the place, and has been doing some work for cash, like mowing lawns.
-We've made regular visits to the intake person for the mental health center where we'll be getting our psych evals done, and have had him write, sign and date letters explaining that the psych evals couldn't be scheduled because DHS still hadn't turned in the paperwork.
-We've been going to marriage counseling, working on solving problems in our marriage and figuring out how to get along with each other.
-I've been going to therapy, and my husband has agreed to start individual therapy as well.
-I've set up a budget so I will have money for a new place to live by August 1st.

In the same period of time, DHS has:
-Repeatedly sent the wrong paperwork or incomplete paperwork to the mental health center.
-Transfered my daughter to a different foster home (which is good- her new caregiver sends notes, pictures, and- weird coincidence- one of my close friends knows this caregiver and says she'd trust her to take care of her own children.)
-Insisted that both kids actually be taken to daycare everyday so that they get to see each other every day.
-Dragged their feet about when/if we'll be allowed to see them more often or at a better location.
-Told me that the foster "parents" didn't want direct contact for reasons of "privacy" (as if anyone who has anything to do with DHS can claim they have any privacy at all.)
-Not given any response to questions about a timeline for reunification.
-Vaguely suggested that at some point either my son might be transfered to the home my daughter is in, or that both might be transfered to our daycare provider's home, since she's a licensed foster parent.

So, in summary, we've been working our butts off to get everything done, and DHS has been twiddling their thumbs and not doing anything useful at all.

[Frustrated]

That's a real good start and you should keep everything documented and all the document evidence should go into affavidits for Court hearings. The Judge will see how much improvements you both had done. CPS did nothing because they count on that, just prolong the case intentionally.
Just stay on top of them, keep everything in writing. Including conversations.

Do you have a court hearing coming up? If so, be sure to be ready to put all of these documents into affavidits to back up proof that you both had done something and CPS had done nothing jack. Also be sure to get documents proof of completion of Services so CPS can't tell the Judge "your honor, the parents did not complete the services or refuse the services, bla bla bla....."

Be ready for anything and stay on top of things. Keep pushing for renufication plan to bring your children back home where they belong with loving parents who are willing to work things out in a positive manner. Also remember do not listen to CPS's LIES....they are known to lie about things. They are known to throw a monkey wench into a wheel which is to try to screw up your case. Don't let it happen. Keep things up to date weekly and monthly.

[Stitchwitch D]

Today, our kids were moved to a new home, where they are together. However, it's in a different county.

When my MIL asked for the kids, they told her no, citing the distance and her relationship with me. While there have been times that I've been upset with her, I still would rather they be with her than some random stranger. Obviously, CPS couldn't give a rat's behind about my feelings, so why does it matter to them if I like her or if she likes me?

So, that leaves the distance. She lives 80 miles away, but was willing to take them to see us or have us to come to see them twice a week. They said that visits would be too difficult, and that visits will increase as we move towards reunification. Instead, after 7 weeks of doing everything right, we get 2 hours once a week in a little room with a guy who listens to every word we say and watches when the kids pee.

They said it was important for our son to stay in school and getting services without disruption. We found out he has not seen his speech therapist since being put in foster care, and since he's living in a different county, if he's still there when school starts, he'll have to be transfered to a different school when we're reunified. Since we'll have everything (except the psych evals) done in a few weeks, it seems reasonable to expect reunification to happen within a couple months, which would mean he'd start school, and just as he started to get used to a new school, he'll get moved and switched around and he'll have to get used to a different new school. The only way it wouldn't matter is if they were going to let the kids come home before school starts, but I doubt that.

So, what game are they playing?

[Frustrated]

That's old tactic, which is to postpone the case more further and much harder for you to get your kids back by saying, that it is disrupting their lives, they had a "bond" with foster families or whatever, they will say anything to put things off. But many kids move with their parents alot of times and it does not disrupt their lives, it is just part of life. I moved 15 times and I did just fine with my parents. no disruptions. Just friends change and making new friends are the only difficult way to go. But these kids are smaller so they don't know about that yet.

Just stick to the reunification plan and don't let them throw a monkey wrench into the plan. Stick to it. Demand a speech therapist for your child. It just to prove they do nothing for their care. That just to show that they only care about making money off these children is their top priority not their needs. They won't get their needs met, just making money off your case.
Don't give up.

[Stitchwitch D]

Our social worker finally got a hold of us (she'd been on vacation, and then another vacation) and said the kids will only be down there until school starts, at which point they'll come to stay with their daycare provider (who is also a foster mom and has been very helpful and sympathetic).

I'm okay with having them with her, but meanwhile, I'd very much prefer they spend the summer with their grandma. I have told my lawyer that I want them to spend time at their grandma's, and my MIL has petitioned for custody and had a home study that went well. Despite this, my lawyer keeps trying to convince me that I shouldn't want them to be with my MIL, and reminding me that back in April I was upset with my MIL. In court, my lawyer has insisted that I am against my MIL getting custody, or even unsupervised visitations, and ambushed my husband on the witness stand and asked him about something mean I'd said about his mother months before, and since he was under oath, he had to repeat it with his mother listening.

The reasons given for not placing the kids with their grandma were the distance involved (disruption of services, difficulty of visits, etc) and her "unstable" relationship with us. Since they've been moved to another county, that proves the "distance" argument was a big stinky load of cow dung, which leaves the "unstable" relationship argument, as if my feelings matter one tiny little bit in this case.
Oh, wait, my feelings don't matter- what matters is what my lawyer claims I feel, since I'm not allowed to speak for myself, and she doesn't seem to listen to me.

It's frustrating. My son spent the 4th of July in the care of some brand-new strangers, because the strangers who were taking care of him had plans that they didn't want to be stuck dragging him around for. I spent the 4th of July at a party out in the country, with no flags or fireworks, which was good- I didn't feel like pretending that I lived in a free country.

I desperately want to just know where my babies are and who is taking care of them, and this desire seems to be interpretted as criminal- no, I'm a MOMMY, I can't feel okay if I don't know my babies are safe, and I don't trust the word of the government agency that has told too many mommies their babies were safe, only to later send them home in a box.