Just some observations....

Newcomers, please post something to let us know who you are and if you have an open case, you can post about it here.

Moderators: family_man, LindaJM

Starryskye
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Jun 05, 2008 3:19 pm

Just some observations....

Postby Starryskye » Thu Jun 19, 2008 11:07 am

First of all, I agree that CPS (or whatever it is called in various states) have overstepped their bounds, however, there are occurances in which they have not done enough.

One example which happened where I live is the case of a woman who I tried to help.

She had three kids: a daughter (her rights were terminated to her) and 2 sons. One of her sons was in my son's class, and I tried to have my son hang out (at our house) with them. My son never liked their mother (I'll call her "X" to make this easier) and never really liked the sons either after they totally trashed his room.

When school started this year, my husband and I always walked our son into his class room (no offense, but in this society I don't trust ANYONE- there are too many pedophiles around). We noticed that for a week straight, X's kids were missing from school. So After dropping our son off, I went to her apartment. The two boys were destroying the house, while she sat on the couch, bundled up in a blanket. I asked if she needed help getting the kids to school on time, and offered to bring them to the school in the morning with our son, which she declined.

The boys missed more time, and she still rejected my offers for help. So I figured that the school would say something to her.

In the beginning of October, I was at home after dropping my son off, and my husband called (he was visiting his mother) and said that there was a seven year old kid that was playing "superhero" running back and forth in traffic on the main strip of our city, and was hit by a truck. So I turned on the news and it said that they could not locate the mother.

I knew it was one of X's sons. In fact, the boys had been removed before at least two other times for the SAME thing. She had just regained custody of them, I think, in June.

Now, fast forward to April 08.

We have a message on our voicemail. I start listening to it, and it is X. She says that I am her only hope to get her kids back, and she would pay me $20 to go to court and tell the judge that I walked to the school with her and the kids that day. I pretty much told her that I wasn't going to lie, especially in court.

On the first day of court, she calls 10 mins before she is supposed to be there, begging for a ride. So we agree to drive her to court (for gas money, otherwise it wouldn't have happened). I knock on her door, and she tells me to come in. My husband was like, if you want to get there, we've got to go.

So we turn around to walk down the stairs, and when I look back to make sure that she was coming, she was crushing up a pill and snorting it. I'm sorry, but if she really wanted her kids back, she wouldn't do things like that.

We drop her off at court, and think that was it.

Nope.

She called several more times, begging me to go to court for her and lie. Over and over I refuse. I tried to be nice at first, however, after a while, it got to be too much.

You see, she got married in December to a guy that she barely knew, and is trying to hide that fact from the state because, I guess, he has a criminal background. She never reported the change to the Welfare dept. so they are both collecting over 150 per month in food stamps and cash as well.

It just makes me so fricking mad.

Plus, she sells opiate pills... I think they are called bupernorphine (not sure if I spelled it right) because she wanted me to cash a check for her once that someone had given her for them.

Again, I said no way in hell.

So, I believe in this case that CPS was correct in removing the boys.

I guess that I feel sympathy for some of the people on this board, but others that do cocaine, etc and feel that it's ok should realize that it is not.

I am not slamming anyone for addiction, because I did some drugs when I was a teenager. When I turned 19, I realized that it was time to grow up and quit. And I was doing heroin. But I have been clean for almost ten years, cold turkey.

It makes me angry when people put their own personal "enjoyment" ahead of children. If you have a problem, just quit! Go to rehab, to NA, whatever. Because if you don't, I feel that you are possibly some of the most selfish people around.

Relapsing does happen. It took me a few trys, but I did it. But the key here is to get well for your children.

eyeq181
Posts: 178
Joined: Thu May 24, 2007 5:22 am

Postby eyeq181 » Sun Jun 22, 2008 2:30 am

I would say that that mom doesn't need to be a mom. And that is sad for that little boy.

In most cases I have seen on this bored it's like mine just a onetime mishap. I have nightmares about my kids stepping off of my front porch after all of this mess. Even though it is most unlikely for my kids to get hit by a car that far away from the street I still see it every night.
Parents spend so much time teaching our kids not to go with strangers or talk to strangers, and no to show your body to strangers. And this is what CPS-DHS is all about.

justamom32
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 9:09 pm

Postby justamom32 » Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:18 am

It is easy for some of us to be judgmental of others...especially of drug addicts. I have worked with addicts extensively and I can tell you first hand that they are seemingly the most selfish individuals in the world. However, this does not mean that they do not love their children and want the best for them.

Having a drug addiction is no different than having any other type of illness. These people also usually have an underlying mental illness. Which contributes the the addiction...they are actually "self-medicating."......I am not saying that this woman did not deserve to have her children taken away from her. It sounds like there was a lot of "lack of supervision" going on ....but the act of taking her children away is not the help that this woman needed. People like this need a support system, and they need medical attention. Removing the womans children could very possibly make her worse. Yes addicts do seem very selfish....but it is not intentional...they are slaves to their DOC (drug of choice) ...it is great that you were able to stop "cold turkey" ...But it is not that easy for everyone. No one enjoys being an addict....no one actually "likes" having to self-medicate....They lack the proper coping skills needed to deal with life....And just because she is an addict does not mean that she does not want, or need her children. There are plenty of rehab facilities that allow mothers to bring their small children into inpatient with them. Where they are taught parenting skills along with getting the attention that they need for their addiction. ...CPS is not interested in helping these mothers... they are only interested in removing the children...sure they may require the mother to attend some sort of rehab....(more kick back funds for CPS)....but not in the interest or the health of the mother or the interest of the children involved.

What you should have done is went to court and asked for this woman to receive the help that she needed...(if you really wanted to help).....Would you take away a womans children if she had cancer? ...it's no different...that is just my opinion. I do not mean to offend

cambreenellie
Posts: 126
Joined: Mon May 12, 2008 12:42 pm

Postby cambreenellie » Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:29 am

Starryskye has an opinion about CPS and she's going to stick to it. Remember she is a social worker in training. She thinks every kid stolen deserves to be.

momomma
Posts: 54
Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2006 10:41 pm
Location: Missouri

Postby momomma » Thu Jul 03, 2008 5:35 pm

That doesn't sound at all like what she said in my opinion.

cambreenellie
Posts: 126
Joined: Mon May 12, 2008 12:42 pm

Postby cambreenellie » Thu Jul 03, 2008 6:01 pm

Read her posts on the websites main home page.

debbiescalese
Posts: 460
Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2007 4:55 am
Location: WV

Postby debbiescalese » Mon Jul 07, 2008 2:58 pm

I don't think she was say all kids deserve to be stolen but I see her point. Clearly something needed to be done to help this woman and her children. She should have been put in treatment in house treatment where they could treat her for the drugs and to find out what was really wrong with her. Then she should have been given a support system and her kids back.


See here too I see too many cases that cps should be involved in and isn't or they come out and refuse to open a case when there should be one. Then on the other hand I see too many normal adverage parents doing a pretty good job raising their kids having their kids pulled. It really makes no sense to me. the cases they do try to offer services too are usually not the ones that need it. In my case they took normal parents and normal kids and left a mess behind and we can't figure out how to heal from what they did to us. When they leave things should be BETTER than before not worse and they made things so much worse.

debbiescalese
Posts: 460
Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2007 4:55 am
Location: WV

Postby debbiescalese » Mon Jul 07, 2008 2:58 pm

I don't think she was say all kids deserve to be stolen but I see her point. Clearly something needed to be done to help this woman and her children. She should have been put in treatment in house treatment where they could treat her for the drugs and to find out what was really wrong with her. Then she should have been given a support system and her kids back.


See here too I see too many cases that cps should be involved in and isn't or they come out and refuse to open a case when there should be one. Then on the other hand I see too many normal adverage parents doing a pretty good job raising their kids having their kids pulled. It really makes no sense to me. the cases they do try to offer services too are usually not the ones that need it. In my case they took normal parents and normal kids and left a mess behind and we can't figure out how to heal from what they did to us. When they leave things should be BETTER than before not worse and they made things so much worse.

User avatar
katgotsteve
Posts: 219
Joined: Thu Dec 21, 2006 10:47 am
Location: Georgia

Postby katgotsteve » Mon Jul 07, 2008 5:55 pm

well said debbie. some people never know how it feels to have your life turned upside down and forced into things by holding a carrot in front of your nose. they have never know the loss of waking up and not being able to hold your child becuase there is a possiblity you could harm then when all you have ever done is love them.
it is our job as survivors to educate these people and hope that no one has to repeat our mistakes.

User avatar
Momof31995
Posts: 154
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2005 8:58 pm

Postby Momof31995 » Wed Jul 09, 2008 9:36 am

OK I am in no way advocating CPS.I fought for 2 years to get my kids back after bogus claims but I do know I was headed down a bad path and would have eventually deserved to have them taken.CPS was my wake up call and now I have completely turned my life around and I knw my kids are safe and happy now and I don't worry about CPS anymore because I give them no reason to take my kids again.
"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny, when the government fears the people, there is liberty." Thomas Jefferson

debbiescalese
Posts: 460
Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2007 4:55 am
Location: WV

Postby debbiescalese » Wed Jul 09, 2008 1:11 pm

Momof31995 wrote:OK I am in no way advocating CPS.I fought for 2 years to get my kids back after bogus claims but I do know I was headed down a bad path and would have eventually deserved to have them taken.CPS was my wake up call and now I have completely turned my life around and I knw my kids are safe and happy now and I don't worry about CPS anymore because I give them no reason to take my kids again.



See this is the difference between offenders and non offenders who went through the system. You were heading in a bad direction cps came in and changed things for the better. You needed the help and allthough some of it was good keeping your kids away for 2 years was probably over kill. With a non offender who did nothing wrong and goes through this the trauma to the family is sometimes not repairable. They cps abuse the family in such a way that it is hard to recover from it. the faith in justice, the system, your country is rocked a little and everything you once believed has just been proven wrong to you. You know those mdt's I went to were in the back of the court house. While waiting you sat in the court room. the court room was covered in pictures of the scales of justice. Justice my kids, my family never saw. You start to believe it doesn't exist.

MaggieC

Postby MaggieC » Wed Jul 09, 2008 6:29 pm

Justice does not exist, not in the purest form that many of us, particularly the older ones among us, were taught so many years ago. Years ago, just after WWII when we as children proudly stood at attention with our hands over our hearts reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.

It was not difficult to do this then as some of us had fathers and uncles killed in far off places called Normandy and Belguim.

When some of us had mothers who lived under the Nazi regime, married now to our American fathers. Children of the war brides and the GIs.

Justice in its purest form existed in France and England and Belguim and the Netherlands and then, seemingly in moments, it was lost.

Justice in its purest form, the justice we take for granted does not exist.

Justice must be fought for. Through intelligence, through union, through strength and perserverance, JUSTICE is won.

For all those falsely accused -fight as long as you can. Fight with your intelligence, fight with your persererance. Fight by joining together with others who will assist you.

"Never, never, never give up!"
~ Winston Churchill

User avatar
Momof31995
Posts: 154
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2005 8:58 pm

Postby Momof31995 » Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:13 am

Oh don't get me wrong we went through hell.It was supposed to be a temporary issue and we were put through the ringer I was a non offender but I could have ended up an offender..IE my house was messy but my kids were never abused or in any danger.CPS abused their power and tried to terminate my rights over a messy house! But in the end it made us stronger as a family and more willing to stand upto those who abuse that power now.I do know that unless I know for certain someone is out to intentionally harm their child I will not call CPS and its also unlikely I would call the cops unless I witnessed the abuse because here instead of investigating the cops call CPS to investigate.
"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny, when the government fears the people, there is liberty." Thomas Jefferson

justamom32
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 9:09 pm

Postby justamom32 » Sat Jul 12, 2008 12:52 pm

I agree with debbie on this one.....CPS wastes too much time and money on those who do not need them in their lives......in the case of this woman ...services were needed..they could have actually HELPED this lady....but instead they just take the kids away, and that is that...meanwhile they screw with normal families making them accept services that are not needed.....it's a sad thing

katiefields
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri Jun 20, 2008 9:24 am

Postby katiefields » Thu Jul 24, 2008 9:02 pm

Yeah I'm a victim of that one too. Making me have services that are not neccassary fo doing. I've not been smoking pot for 4 months now, have not got any intentions of smoking again. It's just not worth it. Well now they are saying I need drug counseling which I could have been doing 3 months ago after they took my two little ones. That they could have ordered in April when I went to see about gettting them back. Also the supervisor over my social worker who never comes to court when she is supposed to July 9th makes the second time she was not their. but her supervisor was. She literally provoked anger on me inside of a little room calling me a liar basically because the day they finally came to look at my house. They were supposed to call back and let me know something well they didn't and I have telephone records to prove it. She said in front of my lawyer that she did call and I told her she didn't and she made me very angry til the point that I was crying because my lawyer wouldn't believe me when I said she did call. and now I have to go to Anger Management because she provoked anger on me. They say every parent deserves a second chance but they are making it very hard for me to do this.


Return to “Newcomers - Welcome to the site - please sign in here”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 10 guests