The after fall of Having your right terminated

[Netty3245]

My name is netty : Ilost my son who is 5 now to CPS, my story is the same as everones except in our case it was my mother and sister who made false reports to CPS. They told us if we went through the Family first program they would not take our boys, My oldest son is 20. So they never terminated our rights with him. The grounds they said we were charged with was because we supposly emotionally abuse our children. We asked how only to have them ignore our questions. They said I had biopolar, but I've been to 4 shrinks and not one of them say I am biopolar. Se they attacked us when we were having financail problems and we couldn't pay for proffessionals. Now we just found out my sister who reported us has adopted our son Xander. We have proof to prove were innocent because once my husband got a job at GM we finally had the money to do what we needed to do in the beginning. My question is can a adoption be overturned? Can parental right terminated be overturned? Does anyone know a lawyer in Michigan who isn't afraid of CPS. It has been 17 months since the day we said good bye to our son. and the pain in our hearts never goes away. Christmas and then his birthday being on 01-01-09 has made us want he back more and more. This child was my gift from god. Six days after he was born I went into congestive heart failure and was put on life support for 2 days. but as you can see I survived. It took me one and a half years to heal and just as I got to spend quality time with him for a year CPS comes and takes him away from me. My sister could let us see him if she wanted to, but she says she doesn't want us in his life and now that he's adopted her and my mom are trying to make him call my sister MOM instead of Aunt Chelle. So far he hasn't called her anything but aunt chelle. Everyday we wonder where he thinks we went to, we are afraid he might think we didn't want or love him. And we wonder what they are saying to him about us. I'm sure they haven't told him they won't let us see him. And everyday we wonder if he is waiting for us to come back. I have begged and begged my sister to at least let us talk to by phone but so far she hasn't responed. She does let us send him cards every three weeks and have his birthday and christmas presents (we Think) She hasn't sent them back. We know she is putting the cards we send to him in a box for him to read when he gets older. But I 'm afraid when he is older and has grown more attached that box will never reach my son. Not a day goes by that I don't cry for my lost children. My oldest son has changed and suddenly hates us for reasons unknown to us as a matter fact he lied several times thoughtout: the trial. He even went as far as to say I burnt him with a cigarette on the back of the neck. I had to prove I was innocent by having the doctor who cut the mole off his neck prove it was a scar from having the mole removed not from me burning him. I ask myself why would he ever say that? He says he was just joking, some kind of joke. All he wants from us is us to support him, when he was the one who didn't want to come home after being spoiled by his foster parents. We were not good enough for him. He lied about several other things and has even admitted he didn't want us to have his brother back. See my son was an only child for 15 years and wasn't about to share me with his little brother. The last time I talked to him he told me he was glad I wasn't raising Xander. It felt like he punched me in the gut. His counsler Jan Cilla has really screwed with his head. I no longer trust him or anybody else for that matter. I only trust my husband. CPS even tried to make my husband choose between me or our son. Then after us taking about it we asked for it in writing and guess what they never were going to let him have Xander either. They wanted to destroy our marriage. These people have to be stopped and maybe have there children ripped from them. I could never have a job like their's, how can they even look at theirselves in the mirror is beyond me. Netty

[Momoffor]

I am sorry for what has happened to you and your family.

To answer the question at the bottom of your post, the last name can change, the social will NOT change.

[HappyMommyx4]

I believe you can appeal a TPR. The problem is you may need a very substantial retainer to pay a lawyer, I know that is a big obstacle for many families. In the Tampa, Florida area there are only 10 lawyers who take dependency cases. Four of them want $8,000.00 retainers to even begin a dependency case. If your son is doing well with your sister, feels stable, and has no sings of stress they will probably argue that he does not need his life disrupted anymore. Someone with more experience in this will be able to give you more information, but I believe you can appeal a TPR but you are going to need an attorney and have a whole lot of evidence on your side to prove you're wonderful and loving mother who has always and will always provide a warm, loving, and nurturing home. It is an uphill battle and takes a lot of strength to fight. Good luck to you and to your children!

[debbiescalese]

If the adoption is final meaning all papers signed and judge gave approval then it is as if your sister gave birth to him and you can no longer appeal. You only have the time from when the TPR goes through to the adoption goes through to do the appeal. Sorry your going through this though it has to be awful.

[Marina]

I thought they did change the social security number.

They change the birth date and place of birth for infants.

[Momoffor]

WAY back in the day the used to change ssn but not anymore from what I understand. The same as when you get married you still keep the same SSN, they just change the name. (When my mother got married, the whole SSN changed with the name change)

[Momoffor]

I stand corrected. I have looked it up, and it appears that it can go either way when there is an adoption.

I suppose you can call your local SS office and give a hypothetical story about adopting a child to see what they say.

[good dad]

If the adoption is final meaning all papers signed and judge gave approval then it is as if your sister gave birth to him and you can no longer appeal.

You would have to check Michigan adoption laws, most states have a timeframe to Appeal after an adoption.

In Texas a parent has 6 months after the adoption is finalized to appeal. After the 6 month date, the adoption is cast in stone and can't be reversed or nullified.

Did you Appeal the termination of parental rights?

[Netty3245]

Yes, Right after the termination of parental rights we asked the two lawyers (one for each of us, because they lead my husband to believe if we broke up he might get our little boy back-It was a scam to try to get us to turn on one another, they would not put it in writing as requested) Our lawyers at the time told us the only thing we could do at that point is file an appeal.
Which in reality we could have called for a mistrial and ask for another trial or for misrepresentation. Out of 15 people we were told to hurry up and were only allowed to use 3 of our witnesses. The caseworker in the case also lied to the judge and said my brother (the only other family member alive who also had seperated himself from my mom and sister several years before I got smart.) threatened my sister in the waiting room which according to 3 different people out there said he never threaten her and that the caseworker was no where around when the interaction took place. My brother is the oldest of us 3 kids, I'm the baby. So the judge would not let him testify because he was badgering a witness. They simply did not want him or my mother on the stand, they knew if they put my brother on the stand the real truth of our sick family might come out, like the fact our parents used to beat with a belt. I got whipped on the bare butt by my mom's boyfriend 15 times for eating a cupcake without asking, we all except my sister were very abused and neglected. I wonder, where the heck were they when we were growing up, we told teachers, our couselors, our probation officer and not one of them did anything to protect me and my brother. And they knew my mom is a hot head and would totally screw up their case if their let her open her mouth. We then filed an appealed and our court appointed lawyer said we were denied an oral argument. Which meant we were never going beable to provide our side of the story. Like the fact I was able to care for my son when he first came home because I unfortunately had congestive heart failure 6 days after our little angel was born. Everyone failed to tell the judge that part. So we lost our appeal. We didn't have time to prepare and our lawyer treated us like dirt. They were really pushing for the adoption to go through asap. As a matter of fact, before we had our rights terminated they said we would lose. It was like they were all working together. Lastly I must tell you our judge was having chemo treatments because he had cancer in parts of his body, he was in no condition to even sit on the bench. He was unable to follow the guidelines stated in REASONABLE EFFORTS GUIDELINES, that he be active through out the whole case. He was spaced out, not even paying attention to anything our party had to say. He figured that since my sister was a parole officer her word was golden. Which her ex-husband could have stated the truth about my sister physcially hitting my niece several times and one time he had to actually pull my sister off my niece. See she had turned out just like our mother. Both my brother and I stay far away. They started the adoption process before we even went to trial and then they (mom and sister) went head to head about which one woud get custody of him.I can't even begin to tell you what it feels like to never beable to hear my child call me mommy again. Tell how do you just forget about your baby who grew inside you for 7.5 months and held the first three years of his life. I miss his voice, his smile, his hugs and kisses, naptime, and our bedtime rituals which was reading a story, brushing our teeth and saying our prayers together this ritual start the minute we brought him home from the hospital. Where and how do you go on living when you feel so empty and dead inside I loved being a mom, my children always kept me smiling. It is like the day they took them 2-23-06 there went my future, my everything, my life. How am I suppose to just say goodbye. I t killed us the last vistit with him because he had no idea he would see us again. He has to think we didn't love him or want him. And I wonder how many times he wonders when we are going to come back to get him. January 10, 2009 we have not seen Xander Matthew for 17 months.