Newcomer from Texas

[RWilliams1969]

This is maddening and frightening. We all know that there are people out there who hurt children intentionally, but then there are people, like me, who honestly don't know how a 10-month-old's (now 11 months old) femur was broken. I'm 39, and I have a 14-year-old (she'll be 15 in February) and a now 11-month-old. December 19, 2008, I took my son to his doctor because he was not bearing weight on his left leg, and was very irritable. X-rays were taken and a "spiral fracture" was found. I took him to the ER, and the nightmare began. A spica cast was placed, and he should have been discharged Saturday morning, but CPS came instead. I told CPS as I had told everyone "I don't know how this happened". Wednesday night, me, my son and my daughter were playing in the hall. My son was crawling all over me and my daughter and he was standing up next to us and falling back down to crawl over us some more; he would crawl over to the door and pull himself up and then turn and plop down. That night, I put him in his crib because I figured it would be a good time to get him back in the habit of sleeping in his crib (he was exhausted). He didn't like that and cried most of the night, while I sat in a chair in his room and reassured him that he would be okay and that I was right there. Thursday morning, he woke up not very happy, but I thought it was because he was traumatized from me making him stay in his crib all night. He wanted to be held all day Thursday. Thankfully, my mom lives with me and we both work from home, so we took turns playing with him and holding him. Thursday night, I noticed that he was not bearing weight. I called his doctor the next morning to ask for an appointment, we got in and the rest is as stated above. Everyone kept saying that CPS would be on me like a swarm of bees, but I ignorantly believed that they would see this was not abuse, that it was an accident. He stayed in the hospital until Monday evening, when the court ordered that he be placed in therapeutic foster care. Even though I had at least 2 people he could be placed with; the CPS investigator's supervisors didn't want to place him with family because of "the nature of the injury". I didn't have legal representation on December 22, 2008, I represented myself and believe I did a great job except for the fact that my son ended up in foster care. Me, my mom and my daughter went to the sheriff's department on December 23, 2008 to give our statements about what happened. The detectives found, from my daughter's statement that while we were playing Wednesday night that she grabbed his foot to tickle it and that he twisted off of her belly and on to the floor, and the detectives (both of them) believe this was the cause and that it was an accident. One of the detectives told me that he had passed this information on to the CPS investigator and that she accepted it; however, she has not. We went to our family group conference (to talk about what has happened, what will happen, and to determine 2 family members to care for my son to get him out of foster care). There the CPS investigator was talking about the lists that I had provided for the foster family which included my son's likes/dislikes and what his gestures and noises mean, and things that would comfort him; she stated "not everyone is that observant" then stated that I lacked supervisory skills...it's one or the other, not both! We decided that my son would go to his great aunt (his father's aunt) first, and if for some reason her home did not pass the evaluation, he would go to his great cousin (his father's cousin). My family (what there is) is out of state. My son's father and I were not really "together" He had come over to see his son almost every day since he was born, and had stayed the night on occasion. So his father was very involved in his life, but because my son's father is a registered sex offender...please don't stop reading here...my son cannot be placed with him. The story here is this...he was 24, was at a family reunion, with family all around, a girl showed up, and by all accounts (from all of the family members as well) she was of legal age. My son's father and this girl went down to the river with other people, and sat on the rocks, he put his arm around her, her father saw this, and accused him of "touching" his daughter inappropriately. We live in a very country county, and he was convicted of sexual misconduct and sent to prison for 10 years, got out in 7 with 3 years probation. This is something that he will be fighting toward the end of this year...but on to my case. A home study was performed at my son's great aunt's home on January 6, 2009; we were told it would be 10-14 days for approval. Today is the 12th business day, and the only thing I know is that the evaluation is sitting on my case worker's supervisor's desk. I was told by the CPS investigator that it has to go through different people to get approval, but haven't heard anything else. I get to see my son for 1 hour every week, I take him diapers, toys from home, clothes, formula, finger foods, and anything else I can think of. I wrote a letter to the foster family asking that they let him know that we all love him, and that we think of him every day, all day. I also stated that I hoped that they got to see what a bright baby, with a bubbly personality, he is. Even though the CPS investigator said she would review it and give it to the family, I saw it in her "folder" last Tuesday, so it still has not been received by them. Last Friday, I got a call from the CPS investigator stating that she wanted me to come in Saturday to talk to her about some new information she had found, stating something about me being truthful with her. Of course, I was a mess all evening. Got there, and the information she had was that two people who had no vested interest in this case had called to tell her that my son's father and I had been living together since August and that his entire family knew about it. This is not true at all, and I explained to her that he was there every day, that he would stay on occasion but when my daughter was not home, and that he did have some clothes at my house but did not live there (he brought his clothes over to do laundry and some times they were not all taken home by him). The one thing I did do wrong was not tell her or anyone else that he was there the night that we think my son was injured. Though my son's father was in the house that Wednesday evening, he was sitting in my office watching us play. She does not believe me, and says that she is going to have to call the sheriff's department and hold an interview with him, and that when I lie or keep things from her it makes her wonder what else I'm lying about or hiding from her (ya know what?! I understand that...and I explained that I was scared to death of everything at this point). No one can figure out who made this call to her; maybe a girl my son's father had dated before all of this happened? Who knows, but now we're kind of at a standstill. I have my service plan (parenting classes, psychological evaluation, individual and family counseling, and the drug test which isn't even an issue), and my son's father is going to parenting classes with me (we have to drive about 35 miles for these). I have one prior CPS case in that someone found out that my daughter (then 13) was "dating" a 17-year-old, I thought I had put a stop to that, but apparently not, and that case was "thrown out". My daughter has ADHD and has been diagnosed with depression. She has had a lot of grief in her life (her great grandmother passed away, then almost a year-to -the-date, her papa passed away, her biological father couldn't stay out of trouble long enough to be a dad, etc.) but there is no way she would ever hurt her brother or anyone else intentionally. So, at first, CPS was trying to say that my daughter was a danger to my son...I finally got to speak with my court-appointed attorney the morning of our court date, January 5, 2009, very briefly, and I explained to her what was going on, I explained that I felt the CPS investigator was taking this to a very personal level, and gave prime examples of such...she told my mom and my son's paternal grandmother that I had made bad choices in men, she told me point blank that she honestly believed that I did not harm my child but she wouldn't let me see my son in the hospital without a chaperone, she told the judge that my son is in emanate danger in my home, etc. My attorney said basically nothing in court, even when I told her that the CPS investigator was lying about the perpetrator being unknown, and that my son was still in danger in my home, she also stated that she had tried to get in touch with the detectives who took our statements but had not heard from them (I confirmed with the detectives that she had not contacted them at all). My attorney says that once it goes this far, that there is really nothing else to do to speed up the process. I have an appointment with my attorney and my son's attorney this Thursday, and I have letters of support to take, and I will make sure that they both understand that my son is not in danger in my home. I've been told that it is ultimately the judge's decision but if all he hears is negative information, then that's all he has to base his decision on, so I will tell my attorney that she needs to speak up for me, and if not, then I'll take care of it myself. At the first hearing, as I read my statement to the judge, begging him to not send my son to foster care, I was told that my son's attorney got tears in his eyes, and that the judge was touched by what I had said. The judge and my son's attorney told the CPS investigator that I would be allowed to see my son in the hospital before they took them; the CPS investigator tried to keep me from going up to the hospital one last time. I have been told that CPS has one year to complete this investigation, but what happens after that one year. They seem to do everything on their own time. So this is my story. I cannot believe how many times CPS takes things too far. My fear is that they prey on the innocent because they have let the true criminals hurt their children terribly. I completely forgot about this.. during the whole-body scan to find other fractures or signs of abuse, there was a tibial fracture of the same leg that the doctors say was 2-3 weeks healing (December 19). On November 6, 2008, I had taken my son to the local ER because he was not bearing weight on his left leg, and the only thing we could think of was that he got his foot/leg caught in the slats of the crib. He is very robust, he weighed 21 pounds at 9 months and was very big for his age. At 10 months of age, everyone who saw him thought that he was at least 18 months old. On November 6, 2008, the doctors did not see a break and told us it was probably a sprain and to just treat it gingerly. If he was not bearing weight after 3 days call his doctor. He was bearing weight the evening of the 2nd day, and since he had a doctor's appointment already for his 9 month check-up, I mentioned it to his doctor who said that all appeared well and that it probably was a sprain of some sort. When asked what could've caused the femur break, I said I didn't know (which is true), but I also explained the incident in November and how my son was always "wild" in his crib; sticking his feet and legs through it and then trying to sit up; of course..."this would not have caused a femur break". Our next court date is February 19, 2009. My hope right now is that my son will be placed with his great aunt soon, and I'll continue to take one day at a time. Now, this is the end of my story for now. I read a post where someone had mentioned a list of people to contact via email every day, and I will go back to look that information up.

[HappyMommyx4]

Oh, dear. It sounds like you have a lot stacked against you that has nothing to do with your sons leg. I have a feeling the fact that you have a registered sex offender in your home having contact with your children is going to play an enormous part in this, whether he was guilty or not he was convicted and I am sure CPS is loving ever single minute of that.

The femur is the most dense and strong bone in the body, I am afraid it may be hard to prove it could have happened while playing. Femur breaks are not often seen outside of automobile accidents, skiing, or other serious traumas. (My pre-Mom years were spent in sports medicine). A spiral fracture is even stranger. Femoral spiral fractures in children are almost always red flags to abuse. I know the last clinic I worked with always reported femoral spiral fractures in children to DCFS regardless of a good parental history.

From another site:

"The fact that the baby is only nine months old raises concerns. Studies have shown that the majority of femur shaft fractures in children less than one year old were attributed to abuse.
"

This mother's question might help. http://www.netwellness.org/question.cfm/21970.htm

I am sharing that information because if your investigator is speaking with a physican he/she already knows that the liklihood of this happening while playing with a sibling is very low. You should be prepared for that. A police officer is not a physician and cannot diagnose cause of injury and your investigator knows that.

Read this article, you will find it very informative on possible etiology of non-abuse fractures of the femur. This information might help you a bit. I think it is a good read anyway.

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/c ... 108/4/1009



I believe you said you have retained a lawyer, that is good. Keep records of everything. Write down every time your investigator calls, take notes of every single appointment. The top 3 worst DCFS are Utah, Florida, and Texas (per my attorney and counselor). We all saw what Texas DCFS did to the FLDS families with no probable cause.

Stay focused, make sure your home is always perfect, present yourself well (don't go to court in jeans...etc.) and in an intelligent and informed manner. Do what you can and that is all you can do.

Stay strong and determind and never lose sight of your goal. My children were not removed and won't be but I spent weeks imagining what it would be like if they were to remove them. I cannot imagine your pain and anxiety, or his.

[HappyMommyx4]

I forgot to add, those letters of support that you have need to be notorized. If they weren't signed in front of a notory the judge and lawyer probably won't even look at them. I took nearly 10 of them to court with me. I am very grateful to have so many of my children's former teachers, peds, and long-time friends willing to go to so much trouble for me. Just be sure to have those letters signed and notorized.

[debbiescalese]

Just to let you know my sd from my first marriage got into a fight with her boyfriend. Basically they played tug of war with the infant who was 4 mos old at the time. The child had bruised ribs and a spiral fracture of the leg. The child was back home right around her first birthday. She just followed the case plan got rid of the boyfriend went through the court stuff and did what she was suppose to and hasn't been bothered by cps again. She now has another child who is about 2 now and there has been no problems. CPS took her child as well in the hospital and put her in foster care then to a relative placement. For now you just have to keep the father away from the baby. She never admitted to anybody what happened it was just from what she said and the injury that we all figured out what happened. She probably stipulated in court to something.

[RWilliams1969]

Thank you for the replies. I actually had already gone to the http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/c ... 108/4/1009 website and have that site printed out to take to my attorney, along with other articles I've found on the internet. I did forget to mention that I went to chaperone classes so my son's father could be around our son and my daughter as long as I am here and watching. Though he has been in our home, he is not in our home. I will do whatever CPS wants so that I can get my son back, and if they say that my son's father cannot be around him, that's fine (though, legally they cannot keep him from his son when he is not the victim of his father's crime), but whatever they say. I'm just beside myself at this point. It seems so unreal. One question...I've already received 3 letters (kept the envelopes they came in), so I guess it's too late to get those notarized, right?

As far as keeping my son's father away from him, that's not a problem, since he's in foster care. CPS has already said that once he gets placed with his great aunt, that as long as my son's father has his chaperone (me or his mom), then he can see our son. How it turns out down the road, I guess time will only tell. As I said though, whatever they tell me to do about that situation, I will do because no man will come between my and my children.

Thank you both for the replies. I'll be checking in often.

[beatendownmom]

My thoughts and prayers are with you in this difficult time. I can definately relate to the CPS nightmare. My particular case - I am not even being charged or investigated but they have a death grip on my 17 year old.
Ironically I used to live in Florida and have never had personal experience with ANY CPS/DFS agency, but after having moved here to Casper, Wy......I think it should be added to the list of nightmare states.
In all of the research and all I have done and tried to do, there is VERY LITTLE information out there about this place.
I am not only battling DFS but the judge, the GAL, and the freaking police investigators (who FAILED to investigate).
I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but unfortunately since my case is still somewhat new, I don't.
My story, like yours is very long, so I won't take up more space here since I am unable to shed any light. But if you want to know my story, you can read my blog..... http://parentalinjustice.blogspot.com/2008/12/nightmare-begins.html
Again, I will keep you in my prayers. At least time is on your side because your baby is so young. Mine will age out in October and I think that is what they are waiting for. Get those federal bucks as long as they can.
Good luck.

[HappyMommyx4]

Awwww you poor thing. ((((((HUGS))))) Just don't let your terror push you into signing things or making promises to them without knowing exactly what it all means. I let them bully me a lot during the first meeting because I was absolutely terrified that the CPI was about to walk out with my children. They know how afraid any mother in her right mind is of CPS. They use that fear against us and push us into doing what they want. Keep your head on straight, think with a clear mind and not a frightened heart. I know that is easier said than done, believe me. I drove 90 miles an hour to get my kids out of state before I was issued a court order (I was tipped off that it was coming....long story). I was scared to stop for gas, I was scared to pack a bag. I drove for 4 days and when I arrived I literally collapsed in my mothers arms when I walked in the door.

If you need a friend please e-mail me anytime. [email protected].

[nippper]

Lydia
There was a woman on this board a few years ago from Gurnsy wy. I can't remember her name but she got all of her kids back. Maybe someone on here remembers her name and if she is still a member she might be able to help you.
If nothing else she knows wyo laws and regualations.

[beatendownmom]

It would be nice to be able to talk to someone else from wyoming. I swear this place isn't even part of the united states...lol.
I think the population in this town is like 40k or so and I swear it seems like everyone knows everyone and is linked somehow. And trying to find stuff on the internet is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.