fightcps.com

I didn't know where to put this, but this seemed like an ok place. I'm sorry if it's wrong. Most everything I do these days is wrong.

Our children have been gone for months. It's to the point where I'm starting to completely give up on them ever coming home. Every time we turn around there's something else that goes wrong. Now it seems that even the family member who has them has started to act more like their parents and cut us out of what little parenting we had left.

I don't know how to hold on anymore. It feels like no one is on my side except for me and my children (I don't even know if I can count on my husband anymore). I feel so lost and tired. Like I'm fighting a battle that I can't help but lose.

How do you hold onwhen it feels like you're the only one fighting for your family?

I understand everyone is having bad days. I'm having one of those today as well. Just keep on fighting for your kids. Prove those bastards wrong!

I don't know if this would be possible for you, but perhaps it is time for a spiritual retreat, meaning... take a day or two to be by yourself in a beautiful place out in nature, and clear your mind of all your worries. Then when you start thinking about them again, you may find new ways of thinking about them. New insights. New peace.

The weakest of us, give in. The strongest stay the course. You will stay strong and you will protect your family.

Keep your sight on the goal.

If it is any consolation, I have seen this happen before. One parent just can't handle the stress and the other parent is left to the task.

You do have people here, however, who understand. You are not alone.

MaggieC wrote:You do have people here, however, who understand. You are not alone.

This! This is why I love coming here. Just those four words, "You are not alone" are so powerful. Thank you so much!

Linda, I spoke with Dh about what you said about a getaway. We're making plans to go soon. I have thought about going away for a day or two, but felt like I was being selfish and a bad mom for even thinking about it. Now I'm remembering something I've always said... if you're going to be a good parent, you need to take care of yourself too! I think it will do our hearts good and help us find the strength in each other that we'll need to continue this fight.

Miasmom, to be honest, I don't care what those bastards think of me as long as my babies are home with us! I will never stop fighting until we get them home. It's tough, though, and there are days when it feels like there's nothing going right. Since I posted this, though, I've gotten word that two of the three reports we're waiting for are going to beglowingly positive in our favor! Between that news and seeing my babies again, I feel so refreshed! I'm still living for visiting day, but I know it won't be forever now.

I almost feel like I can breathe right now. I don't know how long the feeling will last, but I'll take advantage of it while I can.

Thanks all!

searcher wrote: I feel so lost and tired. Like I'm fighting a battle that I can't help but lose.

You find the inner strength that you never knew you had and you let that take over. (Its like being stuck in a corner feeling hopeless, and all of a sudden, you just come out with gloves on fighting).

I didnt lose my kids, so I cant pretend to know what you are going through there. BUT....I dont know if anyone else tried this, but when all that crap was going on, I started doing a sort of meditation. It helped me clear my mind so that I could focus on what I needed to, and not let the 1 million and 1 thoughts that were making me mentally exhausted get in the way. It was relaxing, refreshing, and allowed me to focus to draw on the inner strength I needed.

A clear and focused mind is a powerful mind.

Good luck searcher. My heart goes out to you.