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pebbles04
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Location: Virginia
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Postby pebbles04 » Fri Jan 27, 2012 2:08 am

Here is a big question I am dying to know the answer to. As I am sure most of you know there is never one moment when we do not think of our children. I constantly find myself wondering what life would have been had they still been with me. I still try to imagine how life would currently be with two teenagers. All the same I also sit here and fight myself on contacting them. My oldest daughters stepmother says that at anytime I can contact her (as if that is reasonable with their schedule) and the time zone is awful, but my other ones I have no contact with. My son does have a facebook account. Yes I have viewed it at times but it is 100% private so all I can see is the default photo. That alone makes things harder. Up until a year ago I had come to terms with the situation even if I was unhappy and did not agree to it, but now that I have this constant reminder he has an account it has begun to nag at me constantly. What would you do? Obviously contacting him at this point is unreasonable especially if the adoptive parent/parents want to start problems. I hate this!!
*whoever said that there is a honest social worker.?...they are not all totally honest and just because they are workers does not make them invinceable nor 100% honest...**
(that is my quote)

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monkette31
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Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:12 am
Location: Los Angeles, California
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Re: Contact

Postby monkette31 » Sat Jan 28, 2012 2:19 pm

I understand what you're saying. I got to a certain point in the case this last year 2011, where I thought to myself, they've already took my children, what else can they do to me? take my children? they've already done that. I'm glad you can contact your sons and they will be able to find you. It may be your sons' fosters have contact information on the girls, for the boys, at some point. Kids are very social. My daughter has like over 700 friends and they add friends alot more than I think adults do.

I think of these boards a lot and hope the data always stays up and available. I'm confident that someone will find someone through these forums at some point and one day I will direct my children to look at these forums and look at my postings.
I'm not a lawyer but will try and help you any way i can. My postings may seem harsh but they all stem from personal experience with DCFS. I am not a victim and take responsibility for my part in my life, but I will always help ANYONE learn about the corrupt sick system.

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pebbles04
Posts: 235
Joined: Tue Dec 14, 2004 4:54 pm
Location: Virginia
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Re: Contact

Postby pebbles04 » Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:38 pm

My daughters are with their fathers. Even though my rights were terminated my daughter's stepmother said that I was able to call and talk to her or see if I was up that way. We have not been out there. I moved to the other side of the country and they have such limited times I can call that I am unable to do so. It is not that I do not want to but just time is not on my side. As for my other daughter..her father still contacts me from time to time as friends and it is his wife that has done the damage that has happened. I think that if he ever decides to leave her (which I am sure will eventually happen) then things will change and I will have contact with her as well. My oldest son is 18 in April of 2014 so I have a little over two years until he does. As long as he keeps in contact with the younger one then I will also have some contact with my younger son somewhere down the road. I just hope that he does not have a whole lot of anger towards me but I am sure by the way things happened he very well may. I have no idea what was told to him either once he knew that he was not coming home.
*whoever said that there is a honest social worker.?...they are not all totally honest and just because they are workers does not make them invinceable nor 100% honest...**

(that is my quote)

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monkette31
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Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:12 am
Location: Los Angeles, California
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Re: Contact

Postby monkette31 » Mon Jan 30, 2012 3:45 pm

They will come home one day, I heard they always do. I'm glad your son is almost old enough. 26 months will go by fast....maybe i can ask a trusted one I know to friend him?...then you can see more pics?...what do you think? I just know these kids add friends like they're collecting candy!
I'm not a lawyer but will try and help you any way i can. My postings may seem harsh but they all stem from personal experience with DCFS. I am not a victim and take responsibility for my part in my life, but I will always help ANYONE learn about the corrupt sick system.

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Eljay
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Joined: Thu Jan 20, 2011 10:01 am

Re: Contact

Postby Eljay » Tue Jan 31, 2012 9:38 pm

Do your daughters have FB accounts? If so, friend them, then friend him.

As for the time not working in your favor... lose a little sleep... it will be worth it.
Advice & opinions provided are no substitute for genuine legal assistance. Laws & rules vary by state/jurisdiction so do your homework and get
an education in CPS laws, rules & practices so that you can FIGHT for your children's rights. I am not a lawyer. Your mileage may vary.

----<>----<>----<>---- BREED WITH CAUTION ----<>----<>----<>----

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monkette31
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Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:12 am
Location: Los Angeles, California
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Re: Contact

Postby monkette31 » Wed Feb 01, 2012 10:31 pm

I mean they've already terminated your rights? What can they do, terminate them again?

When/if you do contact them, they will always contact you when they turn of age anyways. I am also adopted and there are so many kids out there looking, that's a whole world of itself. It's great that she said that about your girls, so you do have an open door there. I didn't know my family for about 23 years because of this system, but I think things will come full circle for your children and you as well considering you have these leads on them.

It's so bizarre, I believe I'm going through the same crap as my mother did with cps and gosh, that is some spiritual wake-up call in so many ways.
I'm not a lawyer but will try and help you any way i can. My postings may seem harsh but they all stem from personal experience with DCFS. I am not a victim and take responsibility for my part in my life, but I will always help ANYONE learn about the corrupt sick system.


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