Home improvement projects offered and paid forby CPS

[survivorsofcps]

I think social service should be required by law to offer home improvements and pay for them if the accused parent lives in a rundown house.
Some law would have to be in place so landlords wouldn't abuse this rule but anyway what do you guys think? Is this reasonable/realistic?

[Eljay]

No.

To a huge extent, I really think that people need to be completely ready, able and willing to support a family, including secure housing, insurance, emergency fund in the bank and a back-up plan or two. We don't need more government intervention and help, we need more self-reliance. The gov't is intrusive enough.

[survivorsofcps]

I think your being unrealistic in your expectation of people being able to be ready. those coming out of foster care do not have the resources, stability, and financial backing to do what you are saying. plus having to deal with the abuse they suffered, if they were abused.No education most of the time. No family to rely on yet there supposed to prepare for a family and children with no ssupport living off minimum wage and foodstamps. plz give me a break.

[noroses4u2c]

Being previously in foster care can sometimes red flag you to CPS intrusion. I have known young mothers who never even took their children home from the hospital. CPS swooped in and took the newborns from the mothers and they jumped through the hoops but CPS terminated their rights anyway.

I do agree with Eljay though. There needs to be an out of the box thinking approach to this.

Read the book Rich Dad, Poor Dad. There is a simple version for teens too. I found it a good read.

I feel that you have damaged self esteem and have had much of your hope smashed out of you. I also feel much hidden talent there.

Years ago poor families had children and learned to make do with what they had without the stigma of being a child abuser. Now, if you're not living a middle class lifestyle, they act like you are scum.

I think CPS should just be disbanded altogether. And it should take more than the word of a social worker that you are a child abuser. There should be hardcore proof. CPS does more harm than good in so many cases.

And there needs to be real therapy to help people who have been victimized by the government to help them recover at least somewhat. Society leaves us on our own. We struggle to just survive while being seen as trash by others for our ordeal. Our friends and family abandon us. Our children are drugged and brainwashed to hate us. We have the very foundation of our existance ripped from us. We need to develop support group meetings where we can at least have each other for a support system.

[Eljay]

I think your being unrealistic in your expectation of people being able to be ready. those coming out of foster care do not have the resources, stability, and financial backing to do what you are saying. plus having to deal with the abuse they suffered, if they were abused.No education most of the time. No family to rely on yet there supposed to prepare for a family and children with no ssupport living off minimum wage and foodstamps. plz give me a break.

So the solution is to move forward and breed when you CAN'T support a family???????

[Eljay]

I do agree with Eljay though. There needs to be an out of the box thinking approach to this.

Or, a "back into the box" approach". Our society has obviously experienced a rapid moral degradation that has resulted in the most embarrassing rates of teen pregnancy, career welfare families, HIV/AIDS, STIs, shack-ups, divorce, etc. It used to be that a man wouldn't even DREAM of courting a girl until he had established a career, income and a home to be able to support his family. Fathers wouldn't allow their daughters to be courted unless the prospective husband was worthy of his daughter. Dignity and respect were foundations of interpersonal relationships. Nowadays, the foundation is a cute smile and the back seat of a car.

You bet that I'm raising my kids to have the highest standards when it comes to dating (which they won't be doing until 16, and even then they'll be closely guarded) ... I can't restrict them too much for fear that society's influence will cause them to rebel completely, plus I don't want them have zero relationship skills once they really start dating. I've told my daughter more than once that she can't date until she's married, but that's a family joke. She's got 11 & 12 year old friends who have already gotten boyfriends/girlfriends, broken up, experienced betrayal, drama, tears and "heartbreak" and it's a completely ridiculous. She's watching it all from the sidelines, or more like the audience at a melodrama. My son is sitting back watching so many of his friends go through the same drama... he's got other interests (sports, scouts, etc.) and knows that adding a girl to the mix would only complicate things.

Yes, I'm "old-fashioned" and setting the bar high for my children. I'd rather set it high and have them fall just short of ideal than lower the bar to what the rest of the world is doing. There is a consensus among my friends and family that our parent's generation didn't do such a great job of setting expectations and communicating the risks/consequences of our sexual/relationship actions... I think that's what parents are supposed to do so that is what we are doing. In many respects, "old-fashioned" is superior to the new ways.

How did we get here? I thought this was about home improvement??? LOL

[survivorsofcps]

I have spoken to my kids about my ordeal and warned them about the dangers of getting too adult too soon.

That being said i'm speaking of people who do not have anyone to support them. Also i'm speaking of replacing the current services to accurately reflect the needs.
Then limiting the use of the noneffective services.

For example right now if a child was injured due to a small hole in the floor made by rats or water damage:

social services would say you need counseling your child needs counseling and foster care.

The parent would say No i need money to fix the hole and an exterminator.

Which in your opinion would be your approach for this family?

[Eljay]

I have spoken to my kids about my ordeal and warned them about the dangers of getting too adult too soon.

That being said i'm speaking of people who do not have anyone to support them. Also i'm speaking of replacing the current services to accurately reflect the needs.
Then limiting the use of the noneffective services.

For example right now if a child was injured due to a small hole in the floor made by rats or water damage:

social services would say you need counseling your child needs counseling and foster care.

The parent would say No i need money to fix the hole and an exterminator.

Which in your opinion would be your approach for this family?

I would say that CPS has no jurisdiction. CPS could tell the parents that leaving child in a place where he/she could be injured AGAIN would be neglectful and the parents need to address it before he/she is injured again. CPS would only have jurisdiction if there was known, conscious neglect, but the parent needs to manage the situation, not CPS.

Generally speaking, CPS needs to take a FAR less adversarial approach to their "clients" as they like to call them. Instead of threatening to take the kids right off the bat, they need to say, "Hey, this isn't ideal... we need to you clean up the house/enroll them in school/stop spanking with a spatula/stop flinging poop at the neighbors ... what you're doing has not yet reached criminal levels, but it does violate the Welfare Code. We want better for you and your children. This is what we think you need to do.... We'll be back to check on you in 2 weeks to see how you're doing." Period. No need to threaten or give ultimatums. Educate them. Give them the chance to improve. The problem is that CPS wields the sword of authority far too often, even when they DON'T have the authority (they just fabricate/twist the facts to make it appear that they do).

[survivorsofcps]

oh i definitely agree with that except

i do not think spanking with a spatula is abuse
and not enrolling in a traditional school is not abuse they could be homeschooling

I'm just saying they are going to have some power anyway. there are too many save the children people out there for them to not have ANY power. i think they should focus there efforts only on effective services like

shared care program with a host family especially for the homeless/drug addicts/teen pregnancies
home repairs for those who are renting and the landlords refuse to fix anything
a stipend for housekeepers for the PHYSICALLY disabled
help paying for school for those who are poor but don't have other problems
of course these programs would not be automatic but only for those facing losing their children, or already lost their children

[survivorsofcps]

did you hear about the case where the roof fell in on a lady that was a quadriplegic? they tried to take her kids at first.

[Eljay]

oh i definitely agree with that except

i do not think spanking with a spatula is abuse
and not enrolling in a traditional school is not abuse they could be homeschooling

Those are just random examples and we're not debating random examples. The point was the approach of CPS, that unless they're breaking the law, the need to work with parents to improve their situations. If there are no laws broken, they can only offer them services. If they break a law, then LE needs to be involved.

shared care program with a host family especially for the homeless/drug addicts/teen pregnancies
home repairs for those who are renting and the landlords refuse to fix anything
a stipend for housekeepers for the PHYSICALLY disabled
help paying for school for those who are poor but don't have other problems
of course these programs would not be automatic but only for those facing losing their children, or already lost their children

Shared care program sounds great, seems to be long-term successful, but is price (probably not as pricey as the long-run consequences of foster children who flounder in life and end up in jail anyhow). Otherwise, these are big-people, adult responsibilities that the gov't should NOT be paying for, in my opinion. There are so many other social services, subsidies and/or legal remedies (what would the incentive be for a landlord to make repairs if the state is going to pay for it????) and I really don't think that giving CPS even more money to manage is the solution. We need to reduce the financial incentives for CPS so that they will stop taking children and charging the gov't for their care, in my opinion.

[survivorsofcps]

i'm saying take away anger management, counseling services, and parenting classes and replace them with these services.
As far as landlords they could be sued/jailed if they falsely call to get repairs.

[whosechildrenarethey]

Hi all ~ I have been a member of this forum for over a month and have read and re-read lots of wonderful and insightful information on this site while never sharing my own nightmare story or commenting on anything.

But this, I am so in this and happen to agree with survivorsofcps. When I reflect on the way in which DCF inserts themselves into our lives and pushes services on us that are not helpful or meaningful to anyone but their subcontracted service providers and on the tremendous costs of Foster Care etc.. I get angry because while they have all the money in the world to steal our children they have absolutely none to help us help ourselves. Services without resources are ridiculous. The only services DCF has money for are those services for their shrinks, Labs for UA's, Psych Evals and the like. If you are homeless or jobless, your SOL. In my neck of the woods they call themselves Community Based Care Lead Agency and I just want to know where is the Care and Community?

Does the Court or DCF actually think a struggling parent without a job or adequate housing doesn't already understand they need both? Just saying or adding the verbiage to the Case Plan that you need a job and housing isn't helpful without some type of Resouces made available to the client to assist them to obtain both above and beyond what is available to John Q Public.

Thanks for letting me rant...

[noroses4u2c]

Hi all ~ I have been a member of this forum for over a month and have read and re-read lots of wonderful and insightful information on this site while never sharing my own nightmare story or commenting on anything.

But this, I am so in this and happen to agree with survivorsofcps. When I reflect on the way in which DCF inserts themselves into our lives and pushes services on us that are not helpful or meaningful to anyone but their subcontracted service providers and on the tremendous costs of Foster Care etc.. I get angry because while they have all the money in the world to steal our children they have absolutely none to help us help ourselves. Services without resources are ridiculous. The only services DCF has money for are those services for their shrinks, Labs for UA's, Psych Evals and the like. If you are homeless or jobless, your SOL. In my neck of the woods they call themselves Community Based Care Lead Agency and I just want to know where is the Care and Community?

Does the Court or DCF actually think a struggling parent without a job or adequate housing doesn't already understand they need both? Just saying or adding the verbiage to the Case Plan that you need a job and housing isn't helpful without some type of Resouces made available to the client to assist them to obtain both above and beyond what is available to John Q Public.

Thanks for letting me rant...

The thing is that they want to take the children of low income families. The state governments make big bucks off the poor children. They are not here to help anyone. That is a facade.

Out of one side of their mouths they claim that they don't take children because of poverty. Out of the other side of their mouths they claim child neglect when the parents cannot afford to provide something for their children.

Years ago they did a study on fifty cases where the children were taken. The ombudsman agreed that only five of those cases were justified. None of those mothers received their children back. They jumped through the hoops and followed the case plans. All were staying in a DV shelter at the time the children were taken. Based upon that one sample, 90% of those children taken shouldn't have been. Why are they allowed to continue in operation like that?

[survivorsofcps]

Oh I definitely agree. I'm not sure exactly what the percentage is across the board b/c some states are worse than others. I'm just trying to think of alternatives to suggest when a family really is poor and needing help. REAL services that would actually benefit the family instead of ripping it apart. Like the shared care plan but even more than what they offer.

[noroses4u2c]

Oh I definitely agree. I'm not sure exactly what the percentage is across the board b/c some states are worse than others. I'm just trying to think of alternatives to suggest when a family really is poor and needing help. REAL services that would actually benefit the family instead of ripping it apart. Like the shared care plan but even more than what they offer.

It would be better for the family to not receive help than for these types to 'help' them.

[survivorsofcps]

i am attempting to change laws and services to protect parents like my mother. i intend to make the system better even if it is the same type of people certain programs are better and certain laws in some states should be offered in all 50.

for example the shared care plan
and being able overturn tpr at 12. I intend on expanding that to all 50 states and that social workers be required by law to tell foster children that they can overturn tpr if they want to.