Head Meet Desk

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lostintranslation
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Head Meet Desk

Postby lostintranslation » Fri May 26, 2006 3:47 am

We have been going through parenting classes via Casey Family Services. We actually love these classes and look forward to going to them. Everyone in the class is great...except one couple that came very close to driving me up the wall.

The couple were the first in our group to get their kids back. One has ADD, the other is autistic. Each and every skill that is presented, the mother jumps up and down and says, 'We can't do that because of the kids and their disabilities.' She labels those poor kids at every chance she gets.

We all know that often-times, you need to approach things differently with different conditions but to constantly label someone as disabled or different, is wrong IMHO. I really feel bad for these kids due to the negative labels their own parents place on them.

I'm presenting this case so we can maybe get a discussion going on different labels and how they can affect a person/people negatively or positively.

Thoughts?
Hell hath no fury like a parent scorn

Dan Sullivan
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Re: Head Meet Desk

Postby Dan Sullivan » Fri May 26, 2006 4:02 am

lostintranslation wrote: Each and every skill that is presented, the mother jumps up and down and says, 'We can't do that because of the kids and their disabilities.' She labels those poor kids at every chance she gets.


What can't these people do because of their kids?

If anything they have to be TEN times more skillful and patient with their children.

Someone needs to politely explain to the mother that she doesn't have disabled children... she has children with special needs.

Best, Dan

lostintranslation
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Postby lostintranslation » Fri May 26, 2006 7:43 am

She uses the special needs as an excuse not to use the skills taught to us in the class. "We can never do that with X because he's autistic. And with Y, forget it. He has ADD and he would never be able to accept that type of discipline". She uses the special needs labels so she doesn't have to apply the skills that we are being urged to at least try.

I am almost certain that their kids will be being removed again due to their constant neglectful ways with those boys. They don't provide structure because, guess what....Their kids are autistic and ADD. It's a constant run around circus with them.
Hell hath no fury like a parent scorn

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Greegor
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Postby Greegor » Sun May 28, 2006 4:37 am

These parents aren't spanking their
special needs kids I hope!

Preventing spanking seems to be
the true primary goal of any instructor
teaching Parent Skills.

lostintranslation
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Postby lostintranslation » Sun May 28, 2006 5:04 am

I belive they may be...again. When we went over the spanking issue, they kept saying time and time again, "But spanking is the only thing that works to get their attention".
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Dan Sullivan
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Postby Dan Sullivan » Sun May 28, 2006 5:13 am

lostintranslation wrote:I belive they may be...again. When we went over the spanking issue, they kept saying time and time again, "But spanking is the only thing that works to get their attention".


They're spanking the autistic child?

TERRIBLE!

And the child with ADD isn't going to learn anything faster by being spanked.

If spanking those children really worked the parents wouldn't have to keep "getting their attention."

Best, Dan

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Dazeemay
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Postby Dazeemay » Sun May 28, 2006 5:30 am

I have a "special needs" daughter who is 36 years old now.

Her needs are special and these parents should not be in this group. I can't imagine sitting in a parent class where all of the other parents children are normal. They need to talk to other parents so they can compare notes and laugh and cry with each other.

Just another abuse in the system as far as I am concerned. This families needs are totally different from the "normal" family.

You do not know how frustrating it can be to live 24/7 365 days a year with the demands of a "special needs" child and to have two at the same time!!

As a parent you are worn out and exhausted all of the time and you want people to notice life can't be lived like other lives.

It came to a place where we could no longer care for her and the hardest thing, and still is the hardest thing, we had to do was at the age of 29 we had to place her in a home for the disabled.
**********************************
This is not legal advice;hopefully wisdom

To put it in simple terms…when the authorities ARE the perpetrators and the perpetrators ARE the authorities, there is no earthly justice or recourse, at the end of the day (unless the American people wake up).

Therefore, those who have achieved the highest levels of power seek to ‘enjoy’ the most grievous and extreme injustices. For many of those in the highest circles of power, the greatest statement of power is to perpetrate the greatest possible injustice…the savage, brutal traumatization and abuse of an innocent child.
http://themurkynews.blogspot.com/ MattTwoFour

"Ultimately, the law is only as good as the judge" --- D.X. Yue, 2005, in "law, reason and judicial fraud"
http://www.parentalrightsandjustice.com/index.cgi?ctype=Page;site_id=1;objid=45;curloc=Site:1

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Postby gideonmacleish » Sun May 28, 2006 11:34 am

Dan Sullivan wrote:
lostintranslation wrote:I belive they may be...again. When we went over the spanking issue, they kept saying time and time again, "But spanking is the only thing that works to get their attention".


They're spanking the autistic child?

TERRIBLE!

And the child with ADD isn't going to learn anything faster by being spanked.

If spanking those children really worked the parents wouldn't have to keep "getting their attention."

Best, Dan


While I hesitate to make judgements, based on what I know about autism and ADD (fairly extensive knowledge in both areas, having worked as a group home live in manager for four autistic adults and having a lifeting with ADD), I have to say that I agree with Dan for the most part. These parents have a poor understanding of their children's condition and would be well served to discover strategies that would work better with their children's unique needs. In my personal experience, even lovingly administered spanking only works on some kids; to keep using it on a child with whom it is ineffective is not only wasting your time, it is building resentment in the child that will hinder further teaching. The same Bible tht says that 'he who spares the rod hates his son" ALSO says "fathers, provoke not your children unto wrath".

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Postby Frustrated » Sun May 28, 2006 12:32 pm

I have a Son who has at least 7 Disorders as CPS claims and I am also living with Deafness disability. There is constant supervision 24/7, and frustration are high, and Parents with Special Needs Children has high Stress than normal Families do.

My Son has ADD< ADHD< ODD, and among other stuff. It is even hard to control him and he wants everything his way, he is the boss. (always) This is the Son who constantly would fight with his Siblings, who would constantly scream and yell in your ears, who would have meltdowns...having fits, throws stuff around the house....always constantly walking on his hands like Monkey, would hang himself on bars, using Tables as Jungle Gym, constantly breaking things in the house and he just broke one of my Family Heirloom that were at least 50 yrs old. :( He constantly swears, throws stuff at you, would jump and scream...it would drive you bonkers.

With my Deafness Disability, the communication is somewhat difficult. But we also have another Step son who has also ADD Disability. He just comitted 6 Crimes so far and has to go to Court.

On top of that, we deal with his Seizures daily. And we have a Father who is also Sick with Crohn's and Colitis, who is contantly crapping in the Toilet- A Bowel Disease.

So here we are a "Special Needs Family" -- a whole bunch and proud of it. We deal with everyday frustration and high stress daily...

You don't know what it feels like to handle Special Needs Children, because you don't have one so it makes it easier for Parents to deal with "Normal" Children. But MUCH HARDER on Special Needs Family...

I agree with Dazzemay, these Parents are at the wrong group, they should be in other specialized parenting class with Special Needs so they can compare notes.

Almost NO DISCIPLINE WORKS with my son....so far. Just constant supervision, and staying on top of it and constant reminders, and being there 24/7 at all times, often works.

Special Needs Children needs specialized training, and constant supervision. They are the most hard to handle with, and it is not easy to handle Special Needs Children.

I have one Baby sitter baby sit my Son and she SWORE, and said she would NEVER< NEVER baby sit ever again, and she just gave him back to me, within 2 hours. She would say that he is like a Devil, just can't handle him.

And my Son is only 12 and the other is 18. I have went through Hell and back again. I have two other Girls who are perfect, and they are easy to handle with no problems.

Oh yeah, I probably have ADD as well, who knows? I was never diagnosed. My Son must have gotten it somewhere, either from me or his Father.

It is not the Labels we put on the Children, it is the Facts and that is what they are. There is no denying the facts, that they are in fact "Special Needs Children" or Disabled Children...because that is what exactly they are. You can't just claim them as "normal" Children, because they aren't because they need constant supervision, and different discipline than the rest of the "normal" Families.

We can't lie about the facts, and say....they are normal? But they are not. They are just "different" and we have to deal with it on an every day basis. Nothing can apply the same on Special Needs Children, as Normal. They don't act the same as Normal Children.

What I am saying is that if you have been there, you would have felt the same way.

I do relate with these Parents, because of daily frustrations, and being in high stressful situations. It just stresses you out and wears you out and your nerves would be shot.
It is easy to steal from poor people. But don't do it. And don't take advantage of those poor people in court. The Lord is on their side. He supports them and he will take things away from any person that takes from them.~ Proverbs 22:22

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Postby dasuberding » Sun May 28, 2006 1:51 pm

All this ADD, ADHD, ODD talk makes me wonder. What did parents do before all the medications, all the talk, all the pyscho-babble, all the lack of discipline at public schools? I'll tell you what mine did. I was part of the first generation to be diagnosed with ADD. It didn't really hit hard until my teen years and I was a hellraiser. I would lie, steal, argue, you name it. Once I was caught shoplifting and the police told my parents. My father took the belt to me and I hated it but I learned my lesson and since then I have become a productive adult with a great sense of values and morals. I'm glad my parents came down hard on me at a young age and I often wonder if I would have landed in jail before long. I believe that parents have a right to set the standards of discipline in their households without government interference. With ADD,ADHD,ODD children, they are often pushing the envelope to see where the line will be drawn and you, as the parent, have to set that line. The public schools won't do it. In CA, there is zero discipline inforced in the schools anymore.
My son was misdiagnosed with ADHD. After some study, I found he has ODD. We had him on meds for a few months but they didn't work, in fact, he became more argumentive. We put him on meds because the public school was pushing us to. Well, because of the meds, he didn't act like a little kid anymore, so we took him off. I am know of the belief that all this ADD,ADHD,ODD crap is just that, a load of crap, designed by the pharmecutical and pyschological industry to make money. All children are different, all are individuals, and all react to discipline in different ways. My son is the type that constantly pushes the boundries, trying to see what he can get away with and if you don't put your foot down, he will escalate. Spankings are not common but some of the criminal acts had to be stopped immedietley by spanking or else he would spin out of control. I'm talking shoplifting, fights, making death threats, etc.
So, it goes back to the question, what worked for your parents before all the garbage was thrown at us through the public school system?

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Postby Frustrated » Sun May 28, 2006 2:53 pm

Dauserbing: Yes I agree with you 100%, that is what's happening in our Society. It has gotten out of control, and about 85% of Diagnosed Children are Medicated with Ritalin, Concerta, and so forth... MEDICATED!

My Son also would push over the boundaries, and would tell you he is BOSS and would tell you NO! He would refuse to go to his Room, he would refuse to do the Dishes, he would refuse to go anywhere if you tell him to (he even refused to get butter for you from a Convienence Store, and he is 12!) He won't help with you, and all he does was Lie, Swear, steal...and play Games all day long...and lazying around...doing nothing much.

I agree with you, with these Diagnosed Children, they do push your envelope so far, they drew a line and not your line, and they try to keep it there until you give it up. Parents like us, try to keep it there, and NOT TO GIVE UP, but they keep on pushing harder, and harder. I even had to call the Police once just to scare him and the Police told him, that Mother is the Boss and he must listen to Mother...and he says Okay....

Then few hours later, he would just stand up and stomp all over you....

you see? It is CONSTANT, EVERY DAY to deal like this. Sometimes I feel like giving up....

My Son is not medicated as my Family Doctor thinks it won't work on him as he is too powerful and stronger. I fear for my Life sometimes I think he would push me down so hard that he would beat me up. He is getting bigger and stronger...and taller. I fear when he gets older, he would hurt his Mother. I thought about this, and think he would be better off somewhere where my Family can be protected. He hurts the Girls...constantly. I had to tell him to stop...and ground him, and give him natural consquences, then few minutes later, he does it all over again, and again...and again...and again....and again...until he goes to bed. :roll: I even tried to take his Priviledges away, his Playstation 2 and he threw remote control at my face because I was taking his stuff away as a Consquence. :roll: :roll: He is 12! I even thought, and sometimes fear for my Life, and would rather have him somewhere before he hurts somebody. I constantly watching him at all times, I get so stressed out, and gets frustrated. I have no Support System anymore...What I am now, is a Single Mother to 4 Children, two of them with severe Behavioral Problems. And CPS does not want to help me....so yet I get my own Counselling at another Private Agency. HOPE THIS ONE WILL HELP!! If this one won't, then what will?!
It is easy to steal from poor people. But don't do it. And don't take advantage of those poor people in court. The Lord is on their side. He supports them and he will take things away from any person that takes from them.~ Proverbs 22:22

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Postby Dazeemay » Sun May 28, 2006 3:06 pm

All this ADD, ADHD, ODD talk makes me wonder. What did parents do before all the medications, all the talk, all the pyscho-babble, all the lack of discipline at public schools? I'll tell you what mine did.

So, it goes back to the question, what worked for your parents before all the garbage was thrown at us through the public school system?


Our family has discussed this at length many times over the past few years.

Some of the things we came up with was the fact that even if you were ADD or whatever we lived more structured lives. That is why the spanking was effective for you and perhaps you had Add, etc. Schools backed parents up, however not with my children in the 80's, society backed parents up in general, police grabbed you by the scuff of your shirt collar and brought you home and told you to shape up, neighbors most generally backed neighbors up.

So if you had any of these disorders structure is one of the key factors of keeping it at bay.

The next factor has to do with food. You basically ate mom's cooking and no preservatives or dyes. Then coke, pepsi, etc was limited to one a week because that is all we could afford. No sugar highs. Gluten is a big culprit besides sugar in the diet of people today.

The next factor is the pharmie companies and their drugs.

High stressed living conditions today.

I use to believe all of this was a load of crap too. The human body is not perfect as we all know. But, you add all of these things to the body internally and externally then something is going to break down.

For instance in our family we have a rare disease. A little tumor called carcinoid can have a deadly effect on the organs of your body and your brain. You don't die from the cancer because it is slow growing, but it can hammer at the vital organs of your body till the stupid thing either beats those organs to death or affects the mood swings so bad that the partners of these victims leave them because of the changes chemically in their bodies.

When I was a child I had a terrible temper. Granted the razor strap kept it in control and that helped me manage it, but it is awful to live with such a demon. Now there is much to be said about modern medicine today. It has it's good side and bad side. The good side for me was I often wondered what happened to my mood swings when all of a sudden I did not have them anymore and that was about the age of 21. So I figured I grew up.

Not so, I had my appendix taken out at age 21 and also I had peptic ulcer disease. The drs. discovered this disease stopped by looking at the rings on my stomach, at age 21. It began in my infancy. They were puzzled by it. I felt great. No anger, no stomach problems.

Years later they discovered my veterinarian daughter has carcinoid. She almost died along with her premie daughter and this is when they discovered it. Our granddaughter has carcinoid, but this granddaughter's mother is not the same daughter.

They suspect my husband and I have this disease. Would be a genetic breakthrough for the drs. Thus the possible reason for my temper and peptic ulcer.

However, as the tumor keeps hammering away and it can only be cured by removing it, ones temper gets very volatile as the years go on.

We also believe the drug companies play a major role in this. I believe my special needs daughter was affected by a drug a dr. had me on when I was pregnant with her. I took myself off of the drug after a week because I did not like what it did to me. This drug was to keep my morning sickness at bay because of having a partial stomach I would often have to go into the hospital for IV's. Looking back they found it cheaper to give me a drug. Later that drug was discovered to have been a culprit in many pregnancies going awry and causing harm to the babies and they removed it off of the market.

I was too young to know I could have come after them with a lawsuit.

So what is working for our family is watching our diet, try to keep the stress level down, no loud music or tv blaring.
**********************************
This is not legal advice;hopefully wisdom

To put it in simple terms…when the authorities ARE the perpetrators and the perpetrators ARE the authorities, there is no earthly justice or recourse, at the end of the day (unless the American people wake up).

Therefore, those who have achieved the highest levels of power seek to ‘enjoy’ the most grievous and extreme injustices. For many of those in the highest circles of power, the greatest statement of power is to perpetrate the greatest possible injustice…the savage, brutal traumatization and abuse of an innocent child.
http://themurkynews.blogspot.com/ MattTwoFour

"Ultimately, the law is only as good as the judge" --- D.X. Yue, 2005, in "law, reason and judicial fraud"
http://www.parentalrightsandjustice.com/index.cgi?ctype=Page;site_id=1;objid=45;curloc=Site:1

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Postby Frustrated » Sun May 28, 2006 3:32 pm

Yes Dazzemay you are right, that's exactly what's going on...

I agree that Food Additives and Preservatives is one cause for Children "acting up", etc...

I controlled his Food Diet, and it lessens some what. He is not to eat any Candy, no Chocolates, and no POP, and no dyes but it is hard to avoid as he goes out to his Friends and get something else. Same at School, God knows what he is eating there. The most makes him act out is Food Juice with Preservatives in it, Hot Dogs, MSG, Pop, Candies, and Chocolates.

What calms him down is Pasta, Spagetthei, and Fish Foods. Someting with Omega 3 and Fish calms him down.

What I am infuriated is that the Government is not doing anything about this Food Research related to ADHD< ADD, etc...etc....they think no way...it is something else...

I think Food Additives is ONE FACTOR to the cause. There are other contributing factors, such as violence on TV, Peer Pressure with other Children....Advertising, Commericals, and guess what else? Speakers and Motivators at School does sometimes send a wrong message.

For example: A Policeman speaks at School not to do Drugs and No Smoking....and made my Son do all the educational No's No's....right?

and what do you think he did?>

HE SMOKED!

You see, he just did the opposite! I had the Police woman who did the Speaking at the School to COME HERE! I am SERIOUS! I asked her why you give Speeches to encourage Students not to smoke? and yet my Son is Smoking??? Uh? and he is not the only one, some Students were caught smoking?

I said What is GOING ON?! Even the Policewoman was embarrased, and was shocked...and she said she would have a talk with him...I said go ahead...try anything to make him stop...

He did not stop...what stopped when Grandpa came and took him to join to smoke God Awful Cigars that stinks really bad...just the smell of it, made him sick...

That day, he quit. No more. Done!

I think O.D.D. Children, you got to be careful what you say to them, they will do complete opposite of what you say. I think in fact if there are other Speeches in School, he is not needed there, as he could get the wrong message.

You tell something 100 times to him, he still won't get it. That's how hard most Parents out there had to deal with ADHD< ADD< ODD Children.
It is easy to steal from poor people. But don't do it. And don't take advantage of those poor people in court. The Lord is on their side. He supports them and he will take things away from any person that takes from them.~ Proverbs 22:22

dasuberding
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Postby dasuberding » Sun May 28, 2006 6:56 pm

I agree with both of you. Times have changed and food intake does effect the behavior but the point I was trying to make is that sometimes, you have to say "enough is enough". My son sounds pretty similiar to yours, Frustrated. Won't lift a finger to help anyone, thinks video games and tv are granted to him by God, takes everything for granted and you know what? The system is not set up to deal with him and other children like him. The public school system gave up on him. We haven't. All it's going to take is "tough love".
The reason I jumped into this conversation was because of the topic of parenting classes and the proof of why they are BS. What works for one parent does not work for all. Every child is different and will act differently. Only the parents of the child knows what works the best. Most of the state contracted parenting courses don't and can't deal with teaching parents how to deal with an ADD, ODD kid. So you know what I've fallen back on. What worked for my parents and what worked for their parents and so on. My whole point is this ADD/ODD thing has been around since the dawn of man and has only become a problem in the past 15 years because the public school system/ drug companies/ psycholigists made it a problem. They took away the discipline in the schools and now want the parents to medicate.
So now, my son has a structured life at home but as soon as he gets off the bus at school, it's GO TIME! NO DISCIPLINE ENFORCED =NO SELF DISCIPLINE LEARNED=ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE! The problems for us started as early as kindergarten and I fully lay blame on the public school system. Before public school, my son never lied continuesly, my son didn't have violent outbursts, didn't talk about wanting to be in a gang (2nd grade). After our son was freed from the CPS shackles, we enrolled him in a Christian private school and told the staff on what to expect and how to deal with it. Exactly what I told the staff at the public school but they chose to ignore all my advice because they are the so-called experts on how to handle my son. Like clockwork, three weeks into the school year, my son starts mouthing off to his teacher and she enforced respect and discipline right then and there and made him write and apology letter to her after school. Shook my son up. This was the first adult besides my wife and myself to ever stand up to him and tell him waht he's doing is wrong. Problem was solved.
Onto corporeal punishment and why it should be used (sparingly). About a decade ago, Sweden outlawed all spanking, making it a jailable offense. Didn't matter how big the child's offense was, if you spanked you went to jail. Rush ahead to now and see what has become of this. Sweden is now rethinking that law due to the rise of juvenile crime and the rise of actual, real child abuse. A whole generation of kids were let off the leash and now the this generation is out of control and the Swedes are kicking themselves in the behinds because of it.

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Postby kdddav'swife » Mon May 29, 2006 5:16 am

These parents should definatley be in a parenting class for special needs families. In our family our two girls are special needs and if I were ever forced to take parenting classes of any type I would definatley seek ones that were focused on addressing the needs of these special children. You cannot disclepline an autistic child the same way that you can a normal- the method must be taylored to fit the developemental stage of the child. For example: I would disclpline my daughter,who is nine, the same way I would for a preschooler since that is where she is at developementally.
"They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys. It has worked well for over two hundred years and we're not using it anymore." George Carlin.

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Postby dasuberding » Mon May 29, 2006 8:09 am

But what do you do when you are forced to take parenting classes and there aren't any special needs classes available? Do you just take the basic parenting classes and waste your time? What I'm saying is that the system is not set up with these "special needs" classes. CPS recommended to us to take classes for "special needs" and we called their contracted agency and were told they don't have classes for parents of "special needs" children. Told this to the idiot caseworker who told us that the agency providing the services was wrong and that they do indeed have the classes we need. We told him that we have the exact courses he's looking for through our HMO and the caseworker told us that we couldn't take our HMO's classes because it wasn't through their contracters. What a load of bs! Long story short, we weren't allowed to take real classes that would actually benefit us because it was opening up the funding stream for the county agencies and the real classes were already paid for by ME! Bottom line-state run and sanctioned classes are bull.

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Postby Frustrated » Mon May 29, 2006 10:24 am

Dausberbing: I agree with you totally, that's what happening.

You see, my Son had started his behavior at 2, when he started Day Care at the School. He started acting out like crazy, biting other Children, pushing Children down...then...when he went into Kingergarten, it started getting worse, and it goes all the way to Grade 7. Then he finally calmed down. I guess when he ages older, it does diminish some what. It is the Constant reminders and constant Supervision that did it.

You are right, the same for my Son, he thinks Video, Computer, Playstatin 2 are given to him by God, he does not lift a finger, he won't take garbage out, he won't do dishes, he talks back at you constantly, no respect, and so forth. I give Constant reminders to show respect, and order on an every day basis, and I would get swore at. He would throw stuff at me. He does not put forward an "effort" for himself. I even registered him to Army Cadets because his Friend joined, then all of a Sudden, he does not want to go, and wanted to quit. Just like that. All he likes to do is playing Soccer for the Summer Time, because being active, helps him. He has major anger problems and has been in Anger Management Program for Years and he repeats it about 5 or 10 times? I cannot seem to remember. He would hurt little Kids, and he thinks he is the Boss of the World.

I agree, there is no Parenting Class that can deal with ADD< ADHD< ODD Kids, it has to be specialized training for specific Parents to take. I agree with the Parents that stood up saying that it does not apply to her Children because of Autism and ADHD. She should have went to different Special Needs Parenting Classes. She would have gotten wonderful new ideas from there where the normal Parenting Classes could not do?
It is easy to steal from poor people. But don't do it. And don't take advantage of those poor people in court. The Lord is on their side. He supports them and he will take things away from any person that takes from them.~ Proverbs 22:22

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Postby Dazeemay » Mon May 29, 2006 12:42 pm

Frustrated,

It sounds like your son might have SID (Sensory Intregration Disorder). Our granddaughter acted like this and they finally decided that it was this this past year.

Her therapist believe it all has to do with our lifestyles today. Too much activity, stress, demands and their senses cannot handle the overload.

The reason for video it drowns out all of the other noises in their heads. They cannot take change of any kind. Going from one classroom to another. Fights at bedtime. She is having physical therapy in regards to this. We have noticed a difference. The physical therapy helps rewire the nerve processes. I would not have believed it if I had not seen it with my own eyes that it is actually helping.

She was exactly like your son was in day care. She got kicked out of two day cares. When she was a baby she cried and and cried when she was in a store of any kind. We thought it was the lights bothering her and in actuality she could not filter out all of the noises and confusion she felt with being in there.

If she sat in ISS (in school suspension) room she was happy as a lark and could do all of her work. There is alot to this issue of SID's.

We all just go along easily with all of this. No two people are made alike as are no two snowflakes are alike.

I will post something about it on the Medical forum sometime tonight when I find the info that was sent in an email to me.
**********************************
This is not legal advice;hopefully wisdom

To put it in simple terms…when the authorities ARE the perpetrators and the perpetrators ARE the authorities, there is no earthly justice or recourse, at the end of the day (unless the American people wake up).

Therefore, those who have achieved the highest levels of power seek to ‘enjoy’ the most grievous and extreme injustices. For many of those in the highest circles of power, the greatest statement of power is to perpetrate the greatest possible injustice…the savage, brutal traumatization and abuse of an innocent child.
http://themurkynews.blogspot.com/ MattTwoFour

"Ultimately, the law is only as good as the judge" --- D.X. Yue, 2005, in "law, reason and judicial fraud"
http://www.parentalrightsandjustice.com/index.cgi?ctype=Page;site_id=1;objid=45;curloc=Site:1

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Frustrated
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Postby Frustrated » Tue May 30, 2006 7:37 am

That is what I thought. He somewhat portray the symptoms and he got tested for everything...they did not find that, because he was able to play Video Games all day, and can be able to sit there for a long period of time? That does not portray ADHD< but yet the CPS claims he has ADHD? I asked CPS how can he be able to sit down for a long period of time like 5 hours? They had no idea.

I took him to an Audiologoist and they found no problems regarding noises, and he passed with flying colours. They don't sense SID from these tests.

The other Doctor claims he portrays more on the side of O.D.D. because he wants his own way, and no body else.

I know it is difficult and not easy to raise such Special Needs Child, it is not something you can do instaneously and over night, it takes about 10 years for me to deal with this. I noticed that as he ages older, it minimizes the symptoms. I guess sometimes they say that they will "outgrow" the Symptoms. It might be the case. Because he seems to be dramatically lessening his Behavior as he ages and now he is 12. I just hope he does not dramatically change more rebellious as he turns 14 or 15? I can only pray and hope that he will make it.

The only thing he does not like rules and does not like to follow them, and he wants his own way. I try to enforce rules for him to follow and made it really simple for him to follow. I am afraid that he won't set himself further, and his Self Confidence is low, and I try to encourage him into things, but he just so lazy and does not want to do anything. He does not even like to clean up. All he does is to sit there. It sounds something like Dasuberbing has? We only can try our best as a Parent to encourage Children with Special Needs to achieve their Goals and to try to make their Lives better.

I do believe when you say it has something to do with Lifestyle, Society, and Programming out there...it changed so much and it was not like this 20 to 30 years ago where it was easier living, but now it is harder to live with all the stress on money lifestyle and makes it harder on Children to achieve their goals. They are registering Children earlier than expected, as young as age 2 to 3. Back then, it was age 5. We would push everything farther and back, and put alot of stress on Children younger and younger than it used to be. More Programs, more Homework, more Activities, more stuff out there. It even stresses me out. Everybody is on the Go-Go all the time and never got the time for their Families at home.

I really think we need to shut off TV, Video Games, and go out for Walks, and to enjoy and spend time with Family, will dramatically decrease the stress in every Family Lifestyle. :wink:
It is easy to steal from poor people. But don't do it. And don't take advantage of those poor people in court. The Lord is on their side. He supports them and he will take things away from any person that takes from them.~ Proverbs 22:22

dasuberding
Posts: 378
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2005 3:26 pm

Postby dasuberding » Tue May 30, 2006 9:02 am

He will probably outgrow it. I did and I'm hoping my son will too. You just have to keep him on the straight and narrow, by force if it comes to that. No meds. All meds do is mask the symptoms. They are not the cure and will probably do more psychological and pyhsical damage in the long run. It comes down to this...if you have to put your foot up your son's third point of contact, do it. It's for his own good. The schools won't do it, CPS surely won't do it. In fact, after reading the risk assessment manual, they would probably incourage this behavior. The cops will do it but do you want your child to end up back in the juvenile system? So, that leaves it to the parents to correct the child's behavioral problem and you have to do it early or it's going to get out of hand by high school.
Symptoms of ODD...
1. Excessive lying.
2. Frequent temper tantrums.
3. Excessive arguing with adults.
4. Active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules.
5. Deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people.
6. Blaming others for his or her mistakes or behavior.
7. Often being touchy or easily annoyed by others.
8. Frequent anger and resentment.
9. Mean and hateful talking when upset.
10. Seeking revenge.

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Frustrated
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Postby Frustrated » Tue May 30, 2006 9:16 am

Dausbering:

Yes I agree with you totally. Something has to be done, or the Government would have to deal with it. Now I look at the Adoption Website, most of them are ADHD< ADD< ODD and other Special Needs. Now why is that?

My Son has all those Symptoms. all of it. Now I think back on it, I just realized something what Dazzemay said about her Daughter taking Medications while being pregnant. I did the same thing, I took something for the Nausea, then I got bad reactions to it and ended in the Hospital and they said it was the Wrong Medications for Nausea and Vomiting? (Morning Sickness)? They rushed me in ER to counteract the Medications in me, and flushed me out but the damage is done on my Son. He is the only one with Special Needs and my other Two Daughters were fine.

Dazzemay's daughter took some...? Dausbering, did you take any Nausea Medications while Pregnant?

One never cease me to wonder that the Nausea Medications would be the cause for this? :shock:

Also, My Son got hit with a Forcept Tool while being born, and his head had a mark on it with Forceps. Another "possible" cause for his brain not interacting? Who knows? The Doctor apologized, but then again, I think back, I should have sued his arse off for hitting my Son with a Forceps tool in the head.

Also, my Son climbed over the Crib and bumped his head on the Floor, another "possible" cause. He was about 1 or 2 when that happened. Many Children climbs over the Cribs as I have seen many Kids do that, while I babysat, and frequently put them back into their Cribs. My Nephew did that as well.

Just so many "possibles" what would have happened to the Head like other Children? But the Children with ADHD< ADD< ODD, are growing in the numbers, in fact about 85% in the USA.

WHAT IS GOING ON?!

I even thought those Children were genetically altered, but that is probably my parnonia? Who knows? They drank Chemically altered Cow Milk with those Chemical Growth thingy... Most Babies drank that...Food Additives has some Chemical stuff in it, another one....

What about Immunizations??? I even thought that could be it. As he got shots before that, then he reacted afterwards while he was in Day care????

Who knows?

I just happen to think that all of these should be heavily researched and find the source and to find the cure to it? I think it is VERY IMPORTANT< because our Children in Society are growing, growing in the numbers of being diagnosed with ADHD< ADD< ODD.....

Then I just remembered what my Grandmother used to say "Oh, they are just children, they are allowed to jump up and down, they are just Children." She said that Children has the right to be hyper because they are MAINLY just that, Children who has a right to play. We can't just sit them down all the time making them act like Adults?

Schools want them to sit still. Then there are a whole bunch of things we could think of? Candy, Food Additives, Chemicals, Accidents...etc...etc...

All we can do is just to be Parents and give our Children the Guidance about Life and hope for the best that they turn out O.K.
It is easy to steal from poor people. But don't do it. And don't take advantage of those poor people in court. The Lord is on their side. He supports them and he will take things away from any person that takes from them.~ Proverbs 22:22

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Dazeemay
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Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2005 1:07 pm

Postby Dazeemay » Tue May 30, 2006 9:36 am

Frustrated said,
Now I think back on it, I just realized something what Dazzemay said about her Daughter taking Medications while being pregnant.


My daughter did not take the medicine, I did.

I now have a 36 year old special needs daughter and I should clairfy that the damage was done to her brain. She also is the only one I took meds with for morning sickness.
**********************************
This is not legal advice;hopefully wisdom

To put it in simple terms…when the authorities ARE the perpetrators and the perpetrators ARE the authorities, there is no earthly justice or recourse, at the end of the day (unless the American people wake up).

Therefore, those who have achieved the highest levels of power seek to ‘enjoy’ the most grievous and extreme injustices. For many of those in the highest circles of power, the greatest statement of power is to perpetrate the greatest possible injustice…the savage, brutal traumatization and abuse of an innocent child.
http://themurkynews.blogspot.com/ MattTwoFour

"Ultimately, the law is only as good as the judge" --- D.X. Yue, 2005, in "law, reason and judicial fraud"
http://www.parentalrightsandjustice.com/index.cgi?ctype=Page;site_id=1;objid=45;curloc=Site:1

User avatar
Frustrated
Posts: 3916
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 11:15 am
Location: Canada
Contact:

Postby Frustrated » Tue May 30, 2006 10:40 am

mmmm Interesting.

Same here, My son is the only one that I took Medication for Morning Sickness.

I did not take any while I had my two daughters, I had Morning Sickness the natural way, but the first one was the worst.

I wondered if that was the case?
It is easy to steal from poor people. But don't do it. And don't take advantage of those poor people in court. The Lord is on their side. He supports them and he will take things away from any person that takes from them.~ Proverbs 22:22

dasuberding
Posts: 378
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2005 3:26 pm

Postby dasuberding » Tue May 30, 2006 1:34 pm

"Dausbering, did you take any Nausea Medications while Pregnant?"

LOL...I'm the father so no, and my wife didn't take any medications at all. I am not his natural father though (I adopted him)and I think a lot of his problems come from growing up the first 5 years of his life without a male role model. When gets around women he thinks he can walk all over them. Doesn't matter if it's a teacher or a police officer. This is due to my wife not laying down the law and setting boundries for him at an early age and she deeply regrets it now. She had a very stupid pediatrician who told her that any form of discipline was bad. I asked her how old this idiot doctor was and she said she looked like she was just out of med. school, not married, no kids. Bad, bad advice.

"ADHD< ADD< ODD, are growing in the numbers, in fact about 85% in the USA" This is due to the schools and the social services cooking the books. In public school, any child who doesn't fit the subserviant role is deemed "special needs". It's automatic now. The teachers do not want to deal with the problem kids. If you look closely at the numbers and dates you will see that in the late '80's and early '90's the majority of special needs children with ADD/ADHD were boys. (I'm taking this from the CA public school system). That was phase one of removing the problem children. Now, the growing numbers are all girls and they are considered worse than the boys. Phase two. "Please medicate your out of control kids?" "There is no place in public school for discipline". Waa-waa. The school districts put all these kids into special ed. and bammo! They get paid 5x the amount they would get for a "normal" student. It's just another scam like CPS.

The teacher wanted my son in special education yet he's GATE qualified. He's was at a 5th grade level in 2nd grade. Highly intelligent and a manipulator. How could HE benefit by "dumbing down" and being put in special ed or was it the teacher who was going to benefit by getting him out of her classroom? Well, we had numerous meetings and even the special ed. instructor said our son doesn't belong in special ed. He belongs in the GATE program and the damn school won't release him because they get paid for him.

Back to what I said before, it's up to you to fix your son's problem so he becomes a responsible citizen. Trying to figure out what started the ODD, etc. is like worrying about dying today and everyday in a car accident. He's got it, he needs to learn to deal with it, and he just might outgrow it. I did...no medication.

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Greegor
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Postby Greegor » Tue May 30, 2006 4:30 pm

The child I was concerned with when
I took Parent Skills classes is definately
not a "special needs" kid.

What I DO have to add to this discussion
is that I did notice that one of the other
families in the class WAS definately a
"special needs" family.

In their case, both parents were partly
disabled and their child is disabled.

Apparently the CPS agency was not
going easy on them in consideration
of their status under ADA.

Instead of accommodating disabled parents
they were slowly headed toward termination.

I researched a little bit and found that
if a parent is disabled which impairs their
ability AND the child is "special needs"
there is a point where the disabilities
combine to make an impossible situation.

So Americans with Disabilities Act has
this giant catch if both the parents and
the child are disabled.

AND as many of you were saying, these
people with special needs probably should
NOT have been in the regular Parent
Skills classes.


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