But what about the kids????????

[mrbeansmom]

Listen, I am not going to give her the benefit of doubt. Why are you here? Why did you start this thread? Once a month we get a posting from some foster parent who thinks they are all that. Great! I notice your in Cali, which has the biggest child protection racket going on in the nation. Yes, I agree that children are abused but I don't agree with the numbers that CPS projects. Have you read the CA CPS manual? Have you read the CA Risk Assessment manual? If you are a parent, you are at risk of abusing your child. Period! Every parent in CA is guilty of this. CA is kidnapping children on the flimsiest of excuses and giving them to foster parents for profit. That's the fact. They do this because of the federal and state funding stream that is opened when they remove a child from their parents. You are a foster parent, not THE parent, and you are part of a billion dollar industry. Do you ever question why the child under your care is there? Or do you just believe what CPS wants you to believe? Yes, I want the system destroyed! Then rebuilt. Saving one abused child at the cost of thousands of innocent families is not even a logical option. The needs of one does not outweigh the needs of the many. I think you need to go to some foster parent site so you can pat yourself on the back for your part of some socialist expirement gone completely wrong.

You are kind of coming across with "the lady doth protest too much" attitude. I don't know what your specific agenda is, but I resent the blanket assumption that foster parents are part of any industry destroying families. I don't know what your connection is to the whole topic, but I'm not going to accept responsibility for it.

I am here because, strangely, there was a link to this forum on another forum I'm on for foster parents. I was lead to believe this was something that would be of interest, but not necessarily in this manner. I posted here before I really knew what it was about (my mistake apparently). There seem to be many here who feel they have been wrongly accused, and if true, that's nothing short of tragic.

My experience of CPS is not what you present. I have met and interacted with the parents of the children in my care. Not one of them ever denied the responsibility of what got them in that position in the first place. Several of them are repeat offenders an likely always will be. Do I question why my youngest is here now? No, I don't. And neither does his/her mother. In fact, she seems to be appreciative both towards CPS and towards us. She feels she is being helped and has wanted help for a long time. She tells me she's glad that her child is where s/he is safe and loved while she goes through this process. Is it always like this? Heck no! Usually I'm the "bad guy". Nevermind the literal hell we go through with each and every drug effected infant that got dumped. All mom has to do is show up and she's suddenly the hero and I'm the villian.

The thing about it is I really don't care. I love these kids with all my heart and I'd do it again with each one of them. If I have to be the bad guy, so be it. As long as the child's safe, that's all that matters. And as far as patting myself on the back, well, it just doesn't happen. If I ever were patted on he back it would have to be by myself, however, as CPS never does, nor do the parents typically. We are nothing more than glorified babysitters.

I started this thread to advocate for siblings. It's kind of taken on a different life of it's own though. I've mostly just taken a lot of heat regarding the foster care system. While you complain and toss allegations out you have yet to provide any sound solutions. I am honestly interested in what you think needs to be changed and how. So, what do we do when a baby is born addicted? When a child is brought into a hospital with severe inflicted injuries? When children are found living in cars, surrounded by rotting food and filthy clothing? I'm very curious as to what your response is. You say you want to destory the system. I'll admit it has big problems, but unless you have any legitimate answers, simply posting here and complaining is nothing more than spitting in the wind.

And while I didn't give birth to the foster child I have now, if we were to all die tomorrow, I would be the only parent s/he's ever known. I am the only parent the children I've adopted have ever had and, yes, I AM their parent. The act of simply giving birth does not earn one the title of parent...................

[mrbeansmom]

"First of all, in my opinion, that IS a bare minimum when it comes to cases of severe abuse, such as a few of mine. Second, NO child we have ever sent back to the birth parent had a birth parent that completed most of that. The little one I have now will be returning to their parents very soon. This mom will only be 3-4 month into her program when the child is returned. "

You realize that as a foster parent in CA, you already know more about this woman's case than you are legally entitled to know.

ALL that I know of this child's case is what this child's parent has chosen to share with me during visits. I obviously know when the child came to me, and they do tell us when to expect that they will leave. For health reasons, I am aware of what drugs this child was exposed to in utero and frequency. Are you suggesting I something illegal has been done in informing me of these things? If so, you are being just plain silly. What's the alternative? They show up one day out of the blue, drop a child on your doorstep, say they'll come get them someday when you don't expect it, and leave no explanation as for why the child screams and tenses 24 hours a day? Just what do you think I'm l"egally entitled to know"?

[Frustrated]

Beware of the ones that pulls the Wool over your eyes, they would lie, fabricate and cheat...I even caught on their lies, and the rest of the people here has went through similar events leading up to their fabrication to the truth.

I think you ought to see for yourself and don't allow the CPS to pull the wool over your eyes. Talk to the parents and see it for yourself.

I believe the majority of Children removed are not even abused/neglected at all, and a small number of really abused children are indeed abused. I am guessing the CPS are placing the REAL abused Children with you and the others that are not even abused/neglected some where else so no one will catch on their fabrication to the truth.

I don't believe anything that CPS tells, and their numbers are projected are exgerrated. I remember TV Media in Texas, not a long ago, during the Katrina Hurricane ASKED CPS to make up the Children that were placed with CPS, and CPS couldn't make some up, because they never existed. They claimed that there were so and so number of Children placed in Foster Care, I believe 500 Children, not sure and CPS could not tell the Media the truth. The Media had caught them on. They got Funds flowing back to them for those 500 Children that never existed?

Really, really corrupt system if you may say so. I don't believe anything CPS tells me. The Media are right to ask CPS to talk to the Children directly and the Families affected, but CPS refused entry? What ABOUT THESE Children? They were not even abused, but they were affected by Katrina Hurricane and CPS won't allow conversations between Media with the Kids. These Poor Parents were looking for their Children. CPS could not fetch those Children.
I would not believe anything from these Frauds/Con Artists. They ABUSE the System conjuring up money off THESE Children. They are a Production Money for CPS.

[Frustrated]

Question to Foster Parents:

"How many Children are you allowed to bring in?"

Some one told me they are allowed the limit of 6 Children in the home.

True?

I can't imagine there are 520,000 or MORE Foster Children out there, and if there are only limit of 6 Children per Foster Parent.

That's alot of money to be made. ....... for CPS.

[dasuberding]

"There seem to be many here who feel they have been wrongly accused, and if true, that's nothing short of tragic."

We had our son kidnapped by CPS, no investigation, no warrant, verbal abuse thrown at us, threats made at us, constant lies from CPS and the foster parent, our son was abused by the foster parent, they tried to bribe and turn our son against us, and we have fought these scumbags every step of the way and have won every step of the way. Just recently, a federal judge threw out their non-existent case against us and we are in the process of setting up the trial of these incompetent, corrupt individuals. I am in no way blaming you for this. I just want you to realize that the system is broken and massively flawed. My son and wife were traumatized by this expierence and I am still in the process of de-programming him and hopefully I will succeed. The CPS agents have had their immunities stripped from them, opening them up to personal prosecution. The rubber-stamping idiot of a judge is going to be referred to the CA Judical review board for incomptence, bias, illegal communications, ethics violations, and if I have my way, is going to be thrown off the bench and hopefully barred from ever practicing law again. The fake attorney GAL will be investigated by the CA Bar for misrepresenting our son's best interests. In truth, GAL's work for CPS. As for the foster mom, we are going to try our damnedest to get her licensed revoked. So, you can say I have a legitimate gripe with anybody who works in and with the system.

"but I resent the blanket assumption that foster parents are part of any industry destroying families."

Then refuse to work with the system. I'm not saying your a bad person. I don't know you. After a year and half of studying the corruption of CPS in California, there is a very good chance that you fostered a child who was not supposed to be in the system.

"The thing about it is I really don't care"

You better start caring! Things are changing in CA. CA, as well as every other state, has failed every federal inquiry into the CPS system, including the foster care part of it. All CA CPS is good at, according to the 2004 report, is supplying of bodies for the CPS system. Technically, CA shouldn't be getting any federal funding because the are failing to comply with federal regulations. Now, CA has been forced to change their CPS tactics and are, supposedly, trying to keep the allegedly abused children home instead of the usual take the kids without any questions asked routine.

"We are nothing more than glorified babysitters."

You are not the first foster poster to say those exact words.

[mrbeansmom]

Question to Foster Parents:

"How many Children are you allowed to bring in?"

Some one told me they are allowed the limit of 6 Children in the home.

True?

I can't imagine there are 520,000 or MORE Foster Children out there, and if there are only limit of 6 Children per Foster Parent.

That's alot of money to be made. ....... for CPS.

This varies from state to state and county to county. Where I am you are limited by the amount of space you have. You are allowed no more than two children per bedroom and that includes your own children. Most I know of are licensed for 2-4 children, in addition to their own, if they have any. There are waivers for special circumstances, such as attempts to keep sibs together. Also, I have a friend who takes nothing but children with Down syndrome. They are more like a group home, really, but she is a foster parent. They have somethin like 18 kids right now, at various ages. They are a phenominal family and to be in their home you would never guess they had so many children as they are all so well cared for and their home runs so well.

Someone here mentioned something to the effect that foster parents don't have to meet the criteria birth parents do. I've always wondered why some think so. How many times have all of you had to take classes ~before~ bringing children into your home? And how many have had to have their home completely inspected (including what's in your drawers that might be unsafe)? How many have had to prove that everything is child safe? How many have had to ask permission for everything from cutting a child's hair to taking them to a doctor? How many have had every move you made scrutinized? How many have had to purchase furniture and items that meet code? How many have had to sink literally thousands of dollars into their homes to meet requirements fo space? I have to account for every scratch and bruise a child gets in my care. Everything has to be recorded. Do you write down and document with photos every scratch your child gets? For goodness sake, you birth parents don't even have to call (ever) and show that you care. I have to let them know every time I leave the county or anything happens with the child in my care. I have to call my foster child's mother to let her know when we have doctor appointments, but she doesn't have to call me to ask how they went.

Perhaps it's more a case of each person thinking their situation is worse than the other's. The diofference is I could always quit, walk away from the whole microscope. YOU aren't the only ones who live in a fish bowl. Don't forget, we have a minimum of 2 workers per month coming to our home too. I can't walk away either though. This is my life.........

[donita]

I've had my children taken from me in three different states over a 17 year period. cps is cps no matter where you are, don't ever think anything different.

cps is very subjective, meaning your life could depend on whether the judge had time to eat breakfast or not. Whether the caseworker likes the color of your hair or not. If the DA can use your case to futher their career or not. If the guardian at litem wants to keep your daughter from testifying in one of her other cases or not. And everybody watches everybody elses back, especially the foster parents.

The foster parents whose oppinion carries more weight than the birth parents and gets to even have a say in the court room.

I don't cuse, drink, smoke, do drugs, sleep around, I own my own home, my car, I am a full time college student, nurse, photographer, preachers wife involved with inner city missions work. Yet when I am in the court room the alcoholic foster mom who smokes and is on anabuse, a drug she has to take to help keep her from drinking, who has men sleep in her house in front of the kids gets to actually speak to the judge to give her oppinion on whether I should visit my daughter.

I get my kids taken but she get a pink slip in her file and remains a foster parent.

I'll tell you another thing that irks me and that is the superiority complex that I have to endure from foster parents. I understand in some of their minds they think they are saving children and I believe that that is what they are trying to do. BUT YOU WILL NEVER HELP A KID BY DESTROYING HIS FAMILY. NOT EVEN THE DRUG ADDICTED ONES.

Drug addicts are controled by a drug. They are not the people they would be or would have been had they not been controled by drugs. Drugs own people as if they were slaves, no even worse, it turns a person into the walking dead.

Children should be taught to hate the drugs not the parents. Yet how many of our kids are forced to take mind altering drugs to help manage their lives.

I hate foster parents smug superiority. Parents who walk away from their children are brainwashed into believing that thier children are better off without them. The parents are making the supreme sacrifice when they walk away from thier children. Very very few don't really care.

Kids have to survive in foster homes away from thier families, they have no choice. All of us have to figure out a way to somehow breath and keep on living because no matter how much we may want to die because of our helplessness we seem to wake up alive anyway.

We don't want this for our kids and when we see that they have somehow miraculously found a way to smile or find some peace in life we love them enough to let them have it. So don't you look down your smug nose at us as though your love is somehow superior to ours.

IM SPEAKING FOR THE SO CALLED BOTTOM OF THE BARREL PARENTS TOO!!!!!!!!!

And what about the kids? Everyone of them LIVE!!! with the secret HOPE!!! that thier OWN!!!! birth parents will fix whatever is wrong and come get them. Even after they have given up hope there will be moments when sadness fills the space that no foster parent or adoptive parent can.

Just because YOU say biology doesn't really matter doesn't make it so.

And I really really take offense to people who presume to tell children that their natural longing for biological realtionships is wrong or not important.

I hope you will never be a foster parent to any of my children, as if cps would ever give me a choice.

[mrbeansmom]

I've had my children taken from me in three different states over a 17 year period. cps is cps no matter where you are, don't ever think anything different.

You are either walking around with a huge target on your back or there's much more to this story than you're willing to admit/share. Three times in as many states? How do you account for that?

And everybody watches everybody elses back, especially the foster parents.

And what, exactly, does that mean?! I don't cover for anyone and no one has ever covered fo me. I've never had anything to cover for. I have turned other foster homes in that have been really bad homes. I hav covered for no one and never would. I have a lot more integrity than that.

The foster parents whose oppinion carries more weight than the birth parents and gets to even have a say in the court room.

That is simply not true. My opinion has carried no weight what-so-ever. Most foster parents don't even attend court, much less have a say. We hav a little form we can (you aren't forced to) fill out that just updates the judge on behaviors, school performance and medical issues. I don't even know who he judges are for my area except the one who split up the sibs we had.

I don't cuse, drink, smoke, do drugs, sleep around, I own my own home, my car, I am a full time college student, nurse, photographer, preachers wife involved with inner city missions work.
I get my kids taken but she get a pink slip in her file and remains a foster parent.

So am I to believe that they just took your child(ren) for no reason what-so-ever? Three different times in three different states? Please forgive my skepticism.

I'll tell you another thing that irks me and that is the superiority complex that I have to endure from foster parents. I understand in some of their minds they think they are saving children and I believe that that is what they are trying to do. BUT YOU WILL NEVER HELP A KID BY DESTROYING HIS FAMILY. NOT EVEN THE DRUG ADDICTED ONES.

I suspect your impression is jaded by the fact that these parents have your child(ren). Is there any way for a foster parent to foster your child in any manner that wouldn't come across as "superior" to you? I doubt it. You have set that up, not them. No foster parent I know would "destroy" a child's family. I can certainly understand being angry that another parent is raising your child for the moment, but blaming them for that is ridiculous. Would you rather they do a really crummy job so your anger is justified? Does it make you feel better/superior to know (if it's true) that the foster parens that have your daughter are bums? How does that benefit your daughter?

Drug addicts are controled by a drug. They are not the people they would be or would have been had they not been controled by drugs. Drugs own people as if they were slaves, no even worse, it turns a person into the walking dead.

No disagreement here. My position in this matter is that the person you've just described has no business raising a child while controlled by an illegal substance. So, how about they get themselves off drugs and then move heaven an earth to get their kids back?

Children should be taught to hate the drugs not the parents. Yet how many of our kids are forced to take mind altering drugs to help manage their lives.

Well, you've lost me here. I have never taught a child to hate their parents. And I'd never force mind altering drugs into a child. Who are these foster parents you are talking about???!!!

I hate foster parents smug superiority. Parents who walk away from their children are brainwashed into believing that thier children are better off without them. The parents are making the supreme sacrifice when they walk away from thier children. Very very few don't really care.

Well, lucky m, I guess we just happened to come across those few who don't care. Give me a break! How hard is it to pick up a phone and say hello to your child? I would bring down the very gates of hell if my child were taken from me illegally. I would be on that phone every waking minute with the foster parent, the caseworker and all the attorneys involved. I would contact the media and I wouldn't let up. I would be such a pest that they'd pay me to take my own kids back just to get rid of me.

We don't want this for our kids and when we see that they have somehow miraculously found a way to smile or find some peace in life we love them enough to let them have it. So don't you look down your smug nose at us as though your love is somehow superior to ours.

If taking good care of someone's kids while they are recovering is being "smug" then I think your perception of people is distorted. No one is looking down their nose in this scenario, but YOU!

And what about the kids? Everyone of them LIVE!!! with the secret HOPE!!! that thier OWN!!!! birth parents will fix whatever is wrong and come get them. Even after they have given up hope there will be moments when sadness fills the space that no foster parent or adoptive parent can.

Talk to my kids sometime. And my friend's kids. And my friends, for that matter. I have several adopted friends who are very candid about their adoptions, as are my children.

Just because YOU say biology doesn't really matter doesn't make it so.

Nope it doesn't. Historically people have been adopted and not had the struggles you'd like for them to have though.

And I really really take offense to people who presume to tell children that their natural longing for biological realtionships is wrong or not important.

I don't know who told you this, but obviously they are wrong. ALL feelings children experience are both valid and extremely important.

I hope you will never be a foster parent to any of my children, as if cps would ever give me a choice.

No offense, but I would not hope for your children to be placed with us either. First, because that would mean that your children would be taken from you yet again which I would not hope for your children and second, you don't seem like you'd be really pleasant to work with, and would likely set up an atmosphere of anger and distrust which is never good for children.

[donita]

Well, mrbeansmom, I hope you have a nice day.

[mrbeansmom]

Well, mrbeansmom, I hope you have a nice day.

And with that, I rest my case. You aren't truly interested in kids. You are only interested in being right.

Be sure and have a good day yourself.

[mrbeansmom]

"There seem to be many here who feel they have been wrongly accused, and if true, that's nothing short of tragic."

We had our son kidnapped by CPS, no investigation, no warrant, verbal abuse thrown at us, threats made at us, constant lies from CPS and the foster parent, our son was abused by the foster parent, they tried to bribe and turn our son against us, and we have fought these scumbags every step of the way and have won every step of the way. Just recently, a federal judge threw out their non-existent case against us and we are in the process of setting up the trial of these incompetent, corrupt individuals. I am in no way blaming you for this. I just want you to realize that the system is broken and massively flawed. My son and wife were traumatized by this expierence and I am still in the process of de-programming him and hopefully I will succeed. The CPS agents have had their immunities stripped from them, opening them up to personal prosecution. The rubber-stamping idiot of a judge is going to be referred to the CA Judical review board for incomptence, bias, illegal communications, ethics violations, and if I have my way, is going to be thrown off the bench and hopefully barred from ever practicing law again. The fake attorney GAL will be investigated by the CA Bar for misrepresenting our son's best interests. In truth, GAL's work for CPS. As for the foster mom, we are going to try our damnedest to get her licensed revoked. So, you can say I have a legitimate gripe with anybody who works in and with the system.

"but I resent the blanket assumption that foster parents are part of any industry destroying families."

Then refuse to work with the system. I'm not saying your a bad person. I don't know you. After a year and half of studying the corruption of CPS in California, there is a very good chance that you fostered a child who was not supposed to be in the system.

"The thing about it is I really don't care"

You better start caring! Things are changing in CA. CA, as well as every other state, has failed every federal inquiry into the CPS system, including the foster care part of it. All CA CPS is good at, according to the 2004 report, is supplying of bodies for the CPS system. Technically, CA shouldn't be getting any federal funding because the are failing to comply with federal regulations. Now, CA has been forced to change their CPS tactics and are, supposedly, trying to keep the allegedly abused children home instead of the usual take the kids without any questions asked routine.

"We are nothing more than glorified babysitters."

You are not the first foster poster to say those exact words.

You seem like a civil person with a nobel cause. I want to understand what you are saying. Can you post links to some stats that support what you are saying because I've done Google searches and come up with very little. Thank you.

[donita]

I don't know how to do that cut and paste thing you do to move everybodies quotes around, I wish I did.

But here's the deal.

You don't know me and you don't know what I care about. Just because you question the validity of my story doesn't make it not true. Yea, there is more to it and if you look around the sites here you will find it.

If you feel I am sensitive, maybe it's because my kids never got a good foster home. NOT ONE out of 7, NOT ONE.

And your insensitive upityness doesn't lead me to believe that you are any different. If I felt you were different I would I try to help you understand.

And by God's Grace I will not respond to your taunts again.

[mrbeansmom]

I don't know how to do that cut and paste thing you do to move everybodies quotes around, I wish I did.

But here's the deal.

You don't know me and you don't know what I care about. Just because you question the validity of my story doesn't make it not true. Yea, there is more to it and if you look around the sites here you will find it.

If you feel I am sensitive, maybe it's because my kids never got a good foster home. NOT ONE out of 7, NOT ONE.

And your insensitive upityness doesn't lead me to believe that you are any different. If I felt you were different I would I try to help you understand.

And by God's Grace I will not respond to your taunts again.

"Taunts"? I have "taunted" you somehow? Go back and read your first post to me. Does that sound like the friendly neighbor type to you? Exactly how woul you expect someone to respond to that post? You jumped right in and accused me of "covering other's backs", "teaching my foster children to hate their parents", indicating that I have more power in court than the birth parents (which isn't true) and acting as though that some power I yield unresponsibly (which I don't because I don't have it). You go on to accuse me of being smug and, worst of all, "forcing mind altering drugs into kids". Now I'm insensitive and upity because I don't accept your accusations. Okay. Keep seeking God's grace. He will light the way.............

[Shirley]

Three to four months is a long time in the life of a child.

Let me ask something, and it was brought up elsewhere, but I can't find it now:

A parent uses drugs or alcohol. I'm not talking about while pregnant, but after child is in the home. They don't abuse the child. The child has all his/her needs taken care of, including love.

Is the above a reason to remove the child? The child has sufferred no harm. No beatings, no neglect.

But, here comes CPS and says "Oh, you had two drinks last night? You MUST be an alcoholic, go to these treatment classes and we maybe we won't take your child." "Oh, you don't want to go? Well, then we are taking the child because you are a drunk!"

Last I heard, alcohol was legal in this country, yet it DOES happen.

One other thing. Every person that I have ever met that has gone through the foster system, has come out damaged! They don't have a good life as adults, never really feeling as though they belonged anywhere.

[Frustrated]

Mr Bean's Mom:

I think you need to get the Facts also that the Parents are NOT ALLOWED to call Foster Parents to talk to the Children, maybe some so called "special conditions" from the Court that allows that but MOST CHILDREN CANNOT BE CONTACTED WHATSOVER BY PHONE OR MAIL OR WHAT NOTS!!!!!

Very few would allow contacts between birth parents/children, but MOST ARE denied. They can't just pick up the phone and call you, because they are told not to. They are told not to contact the Children at all...NEVER!

You will see these parents on the Board probably had no contact with their Children by Phone. If that was true, that would be nice to hear the Children's voices, but by the sounds of the posters around here, they don't get any of that. They said "kidnapped" illegally, and with no reasons.

[Shirley]

Well, lucky m, I guess we just happened to come across those few who don't care. Give me a break! How hard is it to pick up a phone and say hello to your child? I would bring down the very gates of hell if my child were taken from me illegally. I would be on that phone every waking minute with the foster parent, the caseworker and all the attorneys involved. I would contact the media and I wouldn't let up. I would be such a pest that they'd pay me to take my own kids back just to get rid of me.

I have to address this. My granddaughter is NOT in foster, but with other family. No court order, just the "safety plan". However, when we call, myself or my daughter, either the phone is not answered, or we are told "she doesn't want to talk on the phone." all the while we hear the other grandfather screaming at her "HERE! Talk on the PHONE!!" terrifying her!

Don't say "report it." That's crap, and they don't believe us.

My daughter finally got her first unsupervised visit this past weekend.
We got in the car, headed down the road...and this 2 yo baby says "Bitch". In shock, we asked her what she said, hoping we heard wrong. Nope, she said it again! We have that on tape. Sad thing is, they'll blame my daughter for THAT!

I KNOW where it came from. We had words with them the day before on our regular visit. When he got home, I know he was angry and used that term to refer to my daughter and myself.

See, I also have him on tape using that language. He doesn't know it..but I will continue to tape all visits.

My friend's son's daughter was placed in foster care. He was not allowed to know where, who or phone numbers. He could not "call" her at all! So, that's not always an option.

Its a system that is set up to make failure of parents.

And once in the system, regardless if its false, you are always in their mind, a lowlife. Even when its unfounded!

[mrbeansmom]

Mr Bean's Mom:

I think you need to get the Facts also that the Parents are NOT ALLOWED to call Foster Parents to talk to the Children, maybe some so called "special conditions" from the Court that allows that but MOST CHILDREN CANNOT BE CONTACTED WHATSOVER BY PHONE OR MAIL OR WHAT NOTS!!!!!

Very few would allow contacts between birth parents/children, but MOST ARE denied. They can't just pick up the phone and call you, because they are told not to. They are told not to contact the Children at all...NEVER!

You will see these parents on the Board probably had no contact with their Children by Phone. If that was true, that would be nice to hear the Children's voices, but by the sounds of the posters around here, they don't get any of that. They said "kidnapped" illegally, and with no reasons.

The parents of literally every single child I have ever fostered were given my phone number, whether we were in agreement with it or not, and had the freedom to contact me daily, weekly, whatever they wanted. In fact, it is clearly written in the foster parent handbook that we are in no way to hinder reunification by denying phone calls or obstructing visits. I've gotten one call from all of them, some a few more, but never more than one call per month, if that. I have always welcomed their calls. I have even taken the initiative to update them on what's been happening with their child through letters and photos sent along on visits. In all my time doing this, only one parent has ever said thank you.

So, you see, there are always two sides to every story. I love my foster children with all my heart. Do you have any idea what it's like to love someone so much it hurts only to see them virtually ignored by the person who should be loving them even more than me?

So please don't talk to me about parents hurting too much to show an interest in their child. I am an advocate for that child and they are my highest priority. Maybe things will start to change when they become some of these parent's highest priorities. Don't put your discomfort ahead of your children. Pester the heck out of everyone involved. I would welcome a parent who made a pest of themself. At least I could see that they care, and I could advocate for them as well as their child, as I'm doing with this mom now.

[Momoffor]

There seem to be many here who feel they have been wrongly accused, and if true, that's nothing short of tragic.

I started this thread to advocate for siblings.

I'll admit it has big problems, but unless you have any legitimate answers, simply posting here and complaining is nothing more than spitting in the wind.

And while I didn't give birth to the foster child I have now, if we were to all die tomorrow, I would be the only parent s/he's ever known. I am the only parent the children I've adopted have ever had and, yes, I AM their parent. The act of simply giving birth does not earn one the title of parent...................

A large percentage of the parents on this board, including myself, were FALSELY accused. Also, a large percentage of us dont just moan and complain about it, but at the same time, there are many of us that live in the constant fear of retaliation if we make too much of a stink publicly while our children are still minors.

A large percentage of us have spent countless hours writing to politicans to take notice in our caes, only to be told by 99.9999% of them that they dont get involved. It took the govenor of my state taking special interest in my case and ordering an investigation to be completed for my case to be closed. This was after so many allegations and lies that were not standing up and getting shot down so what else was there to do? MAKE IT UP! ......

As far as advocating for siblings. What I dont understand is if you were fighting for the sibling so much why did you go 15k in debt trying to fight for the mother to have the second child? Or was that for YOU to get custody of the second child?

I believe in keeping the children together as well, and it is extremly unfair for that older child to even think for a second that the baby was wanted more than him/her, or that the baby was good enough but they were not. I cant imagine the trama that child is going to have to endure. Honestly, I dont know why they even think for a second that the baby is ok to return, or how they can judge that she is ok to take care of 1 child but not the other, unless she herself wanted it that way, or that was all that CPS and the courts would bait her for. In that case it is very sad. Once again, there are too many holes left out in this story for people not to get defensive and the foster parents and CPS do look like the bad guys. Without hearing the mothers version (Not CPS's version) we will never really know weather she was lied to or just didnt give a rats behind.

I dont want to know the details that got left out in your version, its not my bees wax. Starting a thread to promote keeping foster children and children adopted through foster care together on a FIGHTCPS forum doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out what reaction you were going to get.

In my eyes, you are here to just stir up the pot.

Good luck to you and just hope and pray that you will not be here in the future as one of the foster parents that was good and CPS turned on seeking advice. Because we do see those too.

Most of all, my heart goes out to the older sibling for what he/she has to go through for the rest of his/her life because of what has happened.

[Dazeemay]

mrbeansmom,

The reason many parents are attacked again and again by cps is not because there is more to their story, it is because they are now on cps central registry hit list. No matter where you go you will be sure to be found and attacked again by them.

Our own daughter's case was dismissed by the judge, but her name and our granddaughters name will be on their hit list for ten years even though her case was thrown out of court and it was proven that the cps investigator lied. We had phone records to prove that she did not call our daughter. That was one of our proofs. We then had boxes, I mean literally boxes of medical records to prove how medicaid kept chasing our daughter and granddaughter from one dr to another who knew nothing about our granddaughters rare illness. The cps investigator made one false petition after another to try and take our granddaughter. The judge told cps they could no longer make any more petitions.

A federal bill is being introduced to make all parents investigated by cps felons. This will include the names of those parents whose cases like my daughters and others on here who were found not guilty, but were never, ever guilty to begin with, felons.

Substantiated and non substantiated will be felons if it is passed.

In your post you stated that the mother never asks about the other child. In TPR cases the parents and relatives are not allowed to have anything to do with the child/ren cps took by a TPR.

You are probably not aware of this and now that you are please do not put her under that emotional strain. CPS is just waiting for you to tell them she visited or talked to the other child.

[lostintranslation]

Ok, mrbeansmom? I have a couple things for you to ponder and to hopefully reply to. This is not an attack so I hope you can rationally answer these questions.

1) Major one here: What about the money you get every month for the children you care for? You can not honestly say that every penny sent to you every month is spent on only the children. The money you get as an agent for CPS is UNALLOCATED which means you can spend it however you see fit. I bet you have a nice house (with a nice mortgage to go along with it), a couple cars, top notch stuff in your house and money to play with, so to speak.

One of the biggest gripes is that the foster parents get paid big time money (please don't deny this, ok?) yet that money could have been given to the birth parents to help them financially so their children can stay at home ...WHERE THEY BELONG. Money isn't offered to the birth parents once the kids are sent home to help them get clothing, toys and other things for their children. Yet you foster parents get several hundred dollars a month PER CHILD. Doesn't make sense.

2.) Also, statistically only impoverished parents or parents slightly above poverty levels get targeted by CPS. I suppose in their eyes, people who don't have a bunch of money are automatically neglecting or abusing their children. Why do you think that is?

3.) You say you fully support reunification. Good for you. You say you truely care for and love the children in your care. Great! But you know what, there is no greater love than the love shared between parent and child. Have you stopped to think that maybe these parents that have detached themselves from their children do it because they have no other recourse? It caused by the trauma of having your children literally ripped away from you. Some people can recover from that trauma, others can't. Yet you fault them. Why?

4.) Would you agree with a child or children being removed from a loving home where the family was in the middle of a move to a better and more safe enviorment? Would you deem that as a need to pull the children? Hmm?

5.) Back to the money. How do you support yourselves when you don't have children in your care? What do you do with the clothing and toys you have bought for the children when they go back to their parents? How bad financially are you affected when children are removed and placed back where they belong?

6.) You, by being a foster parent, are allowing children to be removed from homes when it's not needed. You say you aren't an agent to their wrong doings. You are though. I will give you a nice little analogy. You see this adorable little puppy at a puppy mill. You figure that there will be no adorable puppy at a rescue/shelter so you go and buy a puppy mill puppy. These animals are kept in horrid conditions beyond imagination and are abused every second they are with the mill owner. So, you buy this one cute little puppy figuring just buying one won't hurt anyone. Ok, so now the cute little puppy at the shelter is getting the big sleep because you decided to buy one at a breeders. You are probably asking yourself, what does this have to do with anything. I will break it down for you.
1. You know there are children waiting placement in a foster home whether they are in a safe house or something, there are still children out there waiting for a foster home placement. Do you request one of those children?

2. You stated that you are very interested in adopting some of the kids that come into your care. If you want to adopt a child that needs a home, why not adopt one of the kids that have been in the system most of their lives and all they want is a place to call home forever?

When you take in kids from CPS, you are allowing their evil and illegal actions to continue. Same as when you bought that hypothetical puppy. You just freed up one more space for the breeder to fill with another litter. If you truely did this just for the love of the children, you would find a child that really needs you and adopt that child. Not be a hostage keeper.

[dasuberding]

"The reason many parents are attacked again and again by cps is not because there is more to their story, it is because they are now on cps central registry hit list."

And they put you on this registry when you are accused, not convicted, of whatever abuse they want to accuse you of. This is where all the child abuse statistics come from. It's not the epidimic porportions that the social services would have everybody believe. They are cooking the books and the feds are wising up. Check out the $400 million lawsuit in Santa Clara County. It's guilty until proven innocent in the CPS/Child Welfare world. This is done so CPS can get the federal funds flowing without any regards of how it effects the family they are supposedly serving. Also, all CPS/Social workers have what's called "qualified immunity" meaning they cannot be held accountable for their actions. They believe that they are untouchable and can get away with anything, short of murder. Well, just like everything involved with CPS, even the immunity clause is lip service. When you break the law, you have broken the law and seven incompetent, corrupt morons who thought they new better have just found this out the hard way.

As for facts and numbers, you can start by going through all the postings on this site. I have left links to quite a few federal and state studies on CPS corruption. Another way to get information is to join other groups, like [email protected]. You can get your daily dose of the peverted child welfare world as soon as it hits the news but I guarantee you will not like what you see. The AFRA website is a great source of daily news and constitutional violations and has links.

CPS is unconstitutional, therefore, an illegal organization. Did you know that the first CPS group was created to police foster parents? Not created to attack innocent families so they could pump up their already bloated machine. When the Mondale Act went into effect back in the '70's, that's when CPS realized that they could turn a profit by charging the governments for the kids they take in. Fast foward to 1996, I believe, and Clinton signs the ASFA Act, giving CPS even more funding for their state sponsered child abductions. Everything spun out of control from there on. It's just within the past year and half that the Feds are starting to wise up and take action.

[good dad]

This is another case of a fostermom coming here, stating she knows CPS has problems and instead of building off of that, she's dragged through the mud for being a fostermom.

Mrbeansmom, I'm a member of the fosterparent site you were talking about and left this website as a link.

I joined after looking through that forum at the number of fosterparents that CPS falsely accuses and then pulls children from their care. My reason was to try and bring some dialogue and try to pull together and support each other against CPS.

My work has been crazy and I have been neither here or there as much as I would like.

This isn't a "Parent vs. Fosterparents problem", it IS a "Everyone with a Interest in children/family vs. CPS" problem..

Welcome to the site (alittle late, sorry)

I just wish more people would realize, chasing away people who may want to read/learn about our side of a CPS case only because they are a fosterparent is crazy........They came to this site acknowledging a problem with CPS, build off of that, not destroy any support they will give back

[Frustrated]

Beware of CPS offering you "bare minimum" to complete. They did this to other Foster Parents that has Children of their own.

They will tell you to complete Parenting Classes, take Counselling, God forbid must take Psch. Eval., even Drug Testing..and more Homestudies and more inspections because of the Media Attention to a Messy House once in other Province of B.C., that is above your State. These Foster Parents are caught with a Messy house and this house was NEVER INSPECTED!

I have had heard two or three Foster Parents telling me that they had to do "Bare minimum" like you mentioned just because CPS don't like what Foster Parents are doing to the Children.

Watch CPS! They are very tricky, sleuthing, sneaky snakes, always lying, covering up and fabricate reports. They are notoroius Con Artists with all the Power to impose FEAR on ALL Families.

Have you seen the CPS Worker jumping up and down, stomping her Feet, acting like a 5 years old? Because she was mad that I took her Power away. They are THAT crazy! I have had one CW Call the Cops on me, for refusing an Interpreter? I told her to get an Interpreter 3 times and she kept on talking, I told her I am DEAF! She got really mad and went into her Car, and called the Cops to make me Talk! I told the Cop another 3 times to get an Interpreter. They said "I can't do anything about that right now!"

Again, a Civil Rights Violations right there. All they have to do is to set up an appointment and get an Interpreter and set up a Meeting with me and MAKE IT EASIER to COMMUNICATE. But guess what? They REFUSED TO GET AN INTERPRETER for me for the past SIX YEARS! Yes, I have Six Years, Six Cases with them, all of that Harrassement! And yes, I still have my Children.

"I don't think Deaf Mothers should have any Children." says the CPS Worker! They CHANGE ALLEGATIONS from time to time, it is never the same allegations. They are always looking and trying to pin on something kinda small to pin on Families, something so ridiculous beside the Children never having to brush their Hair! They even said Recycyling is an Environmental Hazard, or Neglect or whatever. They don't even like the Babysitter I had, wanted her name and phone number or something.

Once our name are in the Abuse Registry, even though some of our Cases are UNFOUNDED and WAS DISMISSED IN CRIMINAL COURT! THROWN OUT BY A JUDGE! and yet the CPS came back for some more. I had 2 Service Plans, and completed "bare minimum" but they WANTED MORE! They wanted to know so much about you, down to what kind of brand of toilet paper you use! They are very nosy. They did not even know I am Religious yet, but that is none of their beeswax! Would they take that in account if I am a Religious freak?

CPS MANUAL says: ALL Workers must respect of a Family's traditions, morals, values, as whole, including their Religion Right!

There ya go. But I don't get it, when they remove Children and PUT THEM IN TOTALLY DIFFERENT RELIGION!

I have a question: Is it right to shove something down people's throats that goes against their wishes?

How would you feel if the Children were Muslim and they come to your house and you feed them Pork! and don't practice Muslim? Do you think The Children's RIGHTS should be held in highest regard? Do you encourage their Beliefs?

I guess not. Probably waste of time because CPS wants their own Programming anyways. Most Parents who had their Children returned back to them HAD TO DO DE-PROGRAMMING! It is THAT BAD! They mess with these Children's heads, and does not respect Family's up bringing...I am sure the Children has confusion, mental and psch. well being in the long term are going to be harmful by CPS. I have had met a Foster Child who is 21, he has grew up in Group Foster Home all of his LIFE since he was 3 yrs old and he got back to his Mother after all of these Years. He is so confused, he is on Drugs, he committed a Crime already when he was told he has to leave at age 21 and no one there to help him! I had to feed him, tell him to get some Job, or go to College, or something...he just went back on Drugs...depressed, told me all kinds of stories that he was abused in Foster Homes. He was changed 6 times and he never had any Love. He went back home to his Mother after 19 years....reunited. He has Siblings there too, and they stayed with his Mom. Only him stayed in Foster Home. He is our Cousin. Right now he has to go to Court to answer to Break and Entering, theft of possession of Money over $1,000. He is that Broke and needed money. Foster Care or other CPS never told him where to go to get Assistance.

[dasuberding]

Gooddad, first, she must be educated. This isn't a fostercare support group, it's fightcps.com.
Family Rights v. Child Welfare

[lostintranslation]

You know what? The more and more I re-read your posts, mrbeansmom, I don't think you quite understand what the parents really go through once CPS comes knocking at the door.

Let's outline some of the process and feelings from a BIRTH parent's point of view, shall we?

1. A strange car pulls up. There is a knock on the door. The parent is presented with the line, 'Hi Mr/Mrs John/Jane Q. Public. My name is so and so and I need to talk to you about a report made to our hotline about the care of your children. May I come in to discuss this?

More often than not, the parent automatically goes into some sort of panic mode. They allow the investigator into their home because they don't know their rights. The investigator immediately notes whether there is a pile of clean folded or unfolded laundry sitting there waiting to be tended to. She/he has no idea whether you were in the process of taking care of the laundry nor does she ask. It is assumed you weren't and you were busy ignoring your kids and the house and being a lazy bum.

The investigator will ask you to sign releases for your doctor, the pediatrician, schools and any other person or place they can think of. Again, without knowing their rights, the parent will sign this release form. At this point, the parent is still probably thinking that the allegations are bullshit and that the investigator will see that the children are safe and cared for properly. This is also where the investigator will look around the house and depending on what she sees, will automatically determine whether or not the family is in the target area of low income victims.

The worker will then leave with a smile and a bunch of promises of assistance.

The next day, the worker shows up at your door again. This time, she has several cops with her. She is holding a piece of paper with a signature on it saying she is removing your kids on a 72 hour hold. Your children are ripped away from you while they are screaming in horror that these strangers are taking them away. You are left there, alone, scared, confused and pissed at the world.

Several days later, you go to court and listen to the charges against you. You sit there thinking that they made a mistake because the person or people they are describing are monsters. But that moster is definitely not you. You are coerced into signing a service plan by the court. Now the fun starts.

Visitations are few and far between. Everyday you have to go to one of the services outlined. You are exhausted because you are working, going to services and missing your children everyday. And the anger grows.

Visitations are finally getting steady but, you have a cps agent there constantly supervising how you act with your children and how the children act with you. Are they excited to see you? Are you excited to see them? Are they upset when they leave the visit? Are you?

Down the road, there is a case review. They will check to see if you are in compliance. If you are in compliance, they will add more services for you to start and complete. If you are not in compliance, you will be given yet more services and be shown as a monster that doesn't care about the case or the children involved. Now, your job and home life is suffering because of all the services and the psychological toll all this is having on you.

Even further down the road, one of your chldren says that they are being abused by the foster parent or parents. You speak up about it but everything you say falls on deaf ears. The children's behavior starts to decline after the visits and CPS will blame you for it. They won't even consider that the child is acting out because they are back to the place that has abusers there.

Now, several months or years later, your children come home. You are not afforded the same benefits of the foster parents like that wonderful monthly check from the state to help with the costs of the children. Every week, your worker is at your home asking you why they don't have all the toys they had in foster care. Or why there isn't as many snacks available. Or why you are buying clothes in consignment shops rather than new. If you say you can't afford it, they will take that as not being able to financially care for your family. If you tell them anything else, it will be used against you and you will be accused of neglect. It's neverending.

Now even more time has passed and the case is closed. You are happy and you start to relax. Then one day, you see a CPS agent. Your kids start freaking out, you have a panic attack only to discover they are going to your neighbor's house. Then the dreadful day happens and they do a post case check on you. If one thing is out of place...................Well, start at the beginning of my post because that is exactly what will happen again.