Help very badly needed

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justina78
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Help very badly needed

Postby justina78 » Wed Jun 20, 2007 11:09 am

I have just found out some really really bad news today and am not sure how to deal with it I am really frustrated and of course I am playing the waiting game with phone calls and need more advice on what to do if possible. I just found out that My 13 year old was given the decision on having her foster parents adopt her and her sister and brother or her and her sister having my mom adopt them. She has to make the decision by today and was only found out about it yesterday. Our rights haven't even been terminated yet and they don't know if they are gonna be and they are already doing this. My mother has turned her back on me because of it. My daughter called her up last night crying cause she didn't know what to do.

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katgotsteve
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Postby katgotsteve » Wed Jun 20, 2007 1:20 pm

i dont understand that. how can a child make this decision? how can an agency ask a child to make a life decision like that? how can they ask about adoption, when your rights have not been terminated? this sounds really fishy. i would try to find out what is going on.

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Frustrated
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Postby Frustrated » Wed Jun 20, 2007 1:57 pm

Sometimes the Kids can be forced or coerced into agreeing to Adoptions.
I have a Foster Mom who I talk to, told me that the 13 yrs old (the irony but different case) from last year was told to make a decision for the Foster Mom to adopt her. And she cried, and she talked to the Judge in her Chambers, then the Adoptions were finalized. And yet she still sees her Siblings. But not her Parents. This was a Sexual Abuse Case a while back, and she told me that the CPS were trying to pressure the 13 yrs old girl into Adoptions and she was crying so much, that she could not decide to pick her parents or her Foster Mother. But it WAS NOT THE PARENTS that SEXUALLY ABUSED her, it WAS HER BROTHER!!! So.....why did she lose her parents, and allow the brother to remain with his parents? It does not make sense to me, WHY NOT just TAKE OUT THE BROTHER AND KEEP ALL THE SIBLINGS TOGETHER< AND THE PARENTS< AND JUST TAKE OUT ONE OFFENDER Son? But instead, They pulled 13 yrs old Daughter and put her in Foster Care with her Foster Mom/parents, and the siblings are still with the parents including the offender. They are all boys. take out just the girl. Does not make sense to me.

Foster Mother had adopted her and I don't know the final story or if it had a happy ending. They said she sometimes visits her parents. I think it is called Open adoption where they can contact and visit openly but she lives with her Foster Mother. Just sad story all around.

I do feel for you, it must be hard and probably emotional and psch. Abuse on the 13 yrs old to make a decision like that, that is really disheartening, and she must be heart wrenched and feeling sick in having to make the biggest decision of HER LIFE!!!!!

And yet I still cannot believe the fact that there are other Cases like these....if it happened to last year, 13 yrs old girl coerced to adoptions...and yet they are using your case as well....Sounds like a PATTERN TO ME, as they WANTED ADOPTIONS TO MAKE MONEY!! and they are using kids/teenagers to make that decisions which approves money right down to their pockets.
It is easy to steal from poor people. But don't do it. And don't take advantage of those poor people in court. The Lord is on their side. He supports them and he will take things away from any person that takes from them.~ Proverbs 22:22

Momoffor
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Postby Momoffor » Sat Jun 23, 2007 5:35 pm

Frustrated wrote:Sometimes the Kids can be forced or coerced into agreeing to Adoptions.


That is illegal. Noone can enter into any legal biding agreement until the age of 18 without the permission of the PARENT/LEGAL GUARDIAN signing in agreement. Read that carefully and take it with a grain of salt.

Even if they asked the child this, its still up to the judge no matter what the child states.

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Frustrated
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Postby Frustrated » Sat Jun 23, 2007 6:41 pm

Yes highly illegal but it does HAPPEN.

The same ones that imposed and told them "Mommy ain't coming back", "Mommy don't love you", "Mommy hurt you, so I will take care of you", "Your parents abandoned you", "they are not coming".

If they told the children those same things, so the possibility that they would have SUGGESTED the Children to be adopted out. The brainwashing of children are more easier to tell them that mommy don't love them so they would think Adoption is a better thing for them to do.

These Children are being lied to constantly!! Then when they tell them about Adoptions and tell them to "tell it to the Judge" so the Judge can approve it. Judge will ask the child IF THAT IS THEIR WSHES, then it will be approved.

It did happen rarely but it does happen behind closed doors. I only have HEARD of one case out of Missouri from Foster Mother who told me this story.
It is easy to steal from poor people. But don't do it. And don't take advantage of those poor people in court. The Lord is on their side. He supports them and he will take things away from any person that takes from them.~ Proverbs 22:22

justina78
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Postby justina78 » Sun Jun 24, 2007 1:42 pm

Thanks soo much your comments have been so helpful. I have talked to a good attorney who lives to far away to fight for us but has told us to talk to others in our area and has also said that he could be hired to sue them on a contingency basis after the whole thing is over since he lives near the nearest federal courts.

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tnradmom
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Postby tnradmom » Sun Jun 24, 2007 7:07 pm

Momoffor wrote:
Frustrated wrote:Sometimes the Kids can be forced or coerced into agreeing to Adoptions.


That is illegal. Noone can enter into any legal biding agreement until the age of 18 without the permission of the PARENT/LEGAL GUARDIAN signing in agreement. Read that carefully and take it with a grain of salt.

Even if they asked the child this, its still up to the judge no matter what the child states.


What we have found in Tennessee is that who has custody is the legal guardian. So if the state has custody then they can agree to an adoption, leaving the biological parents in the dark.
What the Lord gives you, man can not take away.

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Frustrated
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Postby Frustrated » Sun Jun 24, 2007 7:45 pm

I think maybe only if the parents are terminated with TPR (termination of parental rights) in order for the Adoption to occur. or maybe not. JMO

I think if the Child becomes Ward of the State, then they can do whatever they want to do with the Child. because the parent does not have legal custody, but if the parent still have physical custody, then the parent must be notified of their intentions and must be approved by a Judge. If the parent has NO Custody of any nature, then the State can do whatever with the child.

The final point, the child cannot have the final say, the Judge does. But the child can address his or her wishes to the Judge in the Judge's Chambers.
It is easy to steal from poor people. But don't do it. And don't take advantage of those poor people in court. The Lord is on their side. He supports them and he will take things away from any person that takes from them.~ Proverbs 22:22


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