How Do I Get On With Life?!?!?!

[Enchanted*Forester]

My son was removed from our home for 8 months. He's been back now for a year and a half. I still have an enormous amount of hate and anger toward the people who did this to us. My biggest problem, though, is I feel distant with my son. He came back acting different, looking different (they cut his long hair into a buzz cut!) sounding different. I feel like I've become a step-parent in a way. I'm close to him and love him, but there is a rift between us that is invisible to everyone but me. How do I get over this? I'm so frustrated! I thought that time would heal us, but a year and a half later and I'm still not well. We have a 10 month old now as well and I became a stay-at-home mom for fear that he'd go to daycare with a bump on his head and I'd never see him again! I have this fear with my other son, too. Will I ever be whole again?

[glass]

it takes a long time..for me, i still feel my chest tighten up if anyone knocks on my door.. i am always afraid of them coming back. just try to do the best that you can. i homeschooled my kids up until this year just to make sure they wouldnt find us. i hated to do it but their safety meant more to me than anything. maybe you could spend time alone with your son and talk about things, that may help. thats what i did with mine.