Urgent Advice needed.

[waltercross]

Hello all, It's been awhile.

I Need some Urgent advice, and this is pretty much
between life and death, and chance and risk.

This is pretty long, but please read it entirely, It's very
Important.

As most of you know we've been going through this CPS case for
over a year now, we have three kids, 2 are with there paternal
grandmother on there fathers side(there not blood related to me), one is my child and is in fostercare still.

Anyways, We've pushed and pushed to get my child back, things are very well, when this all started I wasn't even allowed to see
any of the kids, then after a couple months I got to see my child(Ben aka Benny) once a week for 2 hours supervised.

It went like that for awhile, I went through criminal court etc.
after the Criminal court was done I challenged CPS by issuing a few motions, one was to see my son more and for a reunification plan.

so eventually I got to see him twice a week for 2 hours supervised.
it went like this for a bit longer and really began to piss me off because it was stuck(was not moving forward, CPS was delaying).
I Set up another motion and demanded CPS to follow through.

The Court ordered CPS to follow through this time, at same time we got a new CPS social worker(She is actually much better then last one), she wrote in detail the Reunification plan, I agreed to it.

I'm gonna forward this a bit to get to the BIG Question/Advice needed part.

I Now see my son mon through wen at our home unsupervised, been like this for a month now(everything is going well to!), Also Our Financial situation is looking better to, I go to retail class Mon through thursday from 9 AM to 4 PM, I get paid for it to $30 a day, we get paid every two weeks, class lasts 12 weeks after that they place us in a real perm full time job with benifits, So I'm very happy about this!.

Me and my wife have both completed and passed Parenting classes and the Phyc evaluation, My wife could not get birth control because she did not qualify for Medical at DSHS, they told her that she needed to be prego for her to get Medical, she found this out just a few days ago, Anyways we knew there was a chance of her getting prego(if we did adult activities).

She started having pregnant symptoms, and just yesterday found out that she is Pregnant!, we are Excited but with CPS in our life very nervouse on what could happen.

So the Big Question is, do we Go through the Pregnancy?, or get an abortion?.

We really really don't want an Abortion, we asked other family members to, a couple was undecided, a few said go through pregnancy and fight CPS if needed, and a couple said get an abortion if it risks your other children.

So the Advice that we need is, Abortion or no?, could CPS really take all of our kids?

Thank you, and this is very appreciated.

P.S oh yeah, forgot to add this tidbit, My Son should be back with us for good in about 2 months, also his fosterparents are currently being investigated by CPS after we called the CPS hotline and about a childs bite mark on his back, we took picture and everything so our CPS social worker told us to call CPS and make a referral, so we did.

[Marina]

.

I am so sorry you have to ask total strangers for input into such a very personal decision. This is abominal. This is an evil situation for child welfare to put you into. I feel bad for your desperation. For something like this, ask for Divine help.

Many years ago one of my neighbors told me that she had an abortion in the '70's . She said she didn't know who the child's father was. When she got pregnant again, she felt like, "This child wants to be born." So she had the baby, even though the child's father was never involved in her life.

God Bless - - For the trauma you are made to go through.

.

[debbiescalese]

Since your son will be back in two months I suspect that by time this child will be born the cps thing will be over. Mine has lasted 2 1/2 years but that is highly unusuall. I wouldn't tell the social worker for a while yet. She might find out if she actually looks to see if your wife has a medical card.

[waltercross]

Ok Thank you for the advice, we'll let you guys know what happens.

[eyeq181]

I would say that your pretty safe if she just found out. I just wouldn't bring it up at all and play it off as stress til they are out of your life. But I doubt they will. They don't look for current good. Only 20 years ago. Good Luck....

[yellernboyz]

I am so sorry that in this what is supposed to be a joyous time for you and your wife, that you are having to ask complete strangers for advice on that of your unborn baby. Think hard about this it will be on both of your shoulders the rest of your life if you decide to abort. Don't let anyone control your life especially CPS.....

[Momoffor]

That decision is between you and your wife.

Personally, I would keep the pregnancy a secret until after I had my son back and then wouldnt flaunt it, but thats when I would start going to the dr ect.

I am going to go out on a limb and assume that since you dont already have benefits from work that your wife will have to get medicaid for the pregnancy? Once she does do this, just make sure not to miss prenatal appts ect. BIG BROTHER WILL BE WATCHING.

For my first pregnancy, I went to the dr. the day I found out I was pregnant ect. It ended in miscarriage at 12 weeks gestation. My other pregnancies, I tried my hardest not to go to the doc. unless I had to because I couldnt bear to see it, and hear the babys heart and then be told my pregnancy was no longer viable again. THIS WAS MY CHOICE for my own peace of mind and I wouldnt recommend it to anyone else. But if it were me, and I knew there were no health risks, I would hide it until after I got my child back.

In the future, for you or anyone else reading this even without medicaid, there are other alternatives. Planned parenthood and the such will sell Birth control pills for something like 20-25 dollars a month, will do depo shots for like 70 bucks or something like that which last several months ect. They also give out free condoms as well as hypo allergenic ones to prevent pregnancy and STD (Not saying this applies to you and your wife, its for future readers)

My sister in law used to go donate blood to get her BC every month while my brother was in college because they couldnt afford medical or the pills, and sure as heck couldnt afford an unplanned pregnancy. (College was done and over with long ago, and they have since decided kids are just not something either of them want and have taken perm. measures to make sure that doesnt happen).

Medicaid wants everyone to think they are the end all answer out there, but they arent. There are alternatives to prevent pregnancy.

Again, the choice is for you and your wife to make. What decision you guys make will be yours to face just like every situation. I bet you never thought in your adult life that you would have to linger over the decision like teenage kids trying to hide it from parents, and society did you?

The decision that you reach should be one in determining if you are ready willing and able to bring another child into this world. NOT just because CPS is hounding you. But again, I wouldnt go around announcing jack to CPS either way I decide. You are on the homestretch, if you both want this baby, dont let CPS be the determining factor in ripping a child from you and causing you even more heartache for a lifetime.

You are already beating them at their own game, even though they are dragging it out. If you and your wife terminate this pregnancy JUST because of them, it would have been a bittersweet victory in getting your son back. They still will have won.



** This applies only to Walters case and Walters case only!!! Guilty parties need not apply!!!!

[litllady25]

I cried reading this... what has this country come to when two people that are excited to be pregnant consider abortion in fear of government?

Protect your baby! - if it were me, i wouldn't say a thing to them. I don't know your circumstances. Its just so sad. I wish you the best whatever you decide.

[Trisha G]

I'd go through with the pregnancy. Just don't tell the CPS worker or anybody you don't fully trust. I have a 16y/o a 14y/o and a 6 month old. We not only kept the pregnancy secret we didn't let anyone but my dad, mother in law and best friend know. Once the baby was born we laid as low as possible and then finally got out of the hellhole trailer park we lived in. It feels good to be able to take the baby out in public and not worry about runnning into old neighbors who don't know where we live and can't mess with us anymore.
My son is sitting out here waiting to get on the computer. I told him about this thread and he said "that's awful mom, once CPS gets in your life, it feels like it's over". I wish you and your wife the best of luck and hope once the case is closed they never knock on your door again.

[Socialworker]

I don't know the circumstances for the original removal. It's pretty irregular that a newborn is taken unless there is drug use or no progress. You say they see your progress since they are allowing you unsupervised visits.

Unless they have told you that you have to notify them if you're having another child there is no reason you should have to tell them. I also agree that it sounds like your case will be over by the time the baby is born, so I don't think I'd base such an important decision on that.

Also, just for future reference, you can try planned parenthood, I think they have a program there for free birth control, I also think the health department does to, if not for free, for very cheap.

[Momoffor]

Even though this originial posting is no longer being viewed, I want to point out that the deparment of Health IS who runs the Department of Social Services which is who we all know as CPS of DHS ect.

If you dont want a government agency to know about something, dont go though another government agency to try to hide it and not expect them to find out.