Would you do the same thing?

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Trisha G
Posts: 124
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2007 7:30 pm

Would you do the same thing?

Postby Trisha G » Mon Jul 28, 2008 9:31 pm

My nephew had sex with an underage girl and is now a registered sex offender. My sister called me tonight practically begging me to let him come live with us. She moved in with an ex-boyfriend and he doesn't want a 21 year old who should be taking care of himself and is always getting in trouble around. I don't blame him at all.
I told her there was no way he could live with us because CPS would find out and I'm sure a 3rd CHINS case would be the end of our family. Sorry I'm not willing to risk it with my older 2 let alone our baby. She actually tried to lie and tell me CPS couldn't find out unless somebody told them. Somehow I don't think it'd take a full week before they found out.
Would you have told her no too?

Socialworker
Posts: 50
Joined: Fri Jul 25, 2008 2:50 pm

Postby Socialworker » Mon Jul 28, 2008 10:00 pm

You're right. Don't feel bad. You can't always save everyone in your family, at 21 I assume he's able bodied, he can figure it out.

Momoffor
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Posts: 1307
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 11:17 pm

Postby Momoffor » Fri Aug 01, 2008 11:01 pm

Dont feel bad, but to protect your family you cannot let him come live with you. If her boyfriend doesnt like the fact htat her 21 year old b/f is living with her, she needs to make him grow up and cut the cord, not pass along her troubles to other family members to ensure her own happiness.

Michael
Posts: 331
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2004 6:11 pm
Location: East Central District

I feel that you have made the best decfision

Postby Michael » Sat Aug 02, 2008 7:37 pm

for yourself and your family. Is he on probation? If so his probation officer would have reported his living with you to CPS.

Momoffor
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Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 11:17 pm

Postby Momoffor » Sat Aug 02, 2008 8:44 pm

Even if CPS werent a factor, you dont want someone who does nothing but get into trouble living with your family.

Trisha G
Posts: 124
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2007 7:30 pm

Re: I feel that you have made the best decfision

Postby Trisha G » Sat Aug 02, 2008 11:18 pm

Michael wrote:for yourself and your family. Is he on probation? If so his probation officer would have reported his living with you to CPS.

No, he was unsuccessfully released. He failed quite a few drug tests when he was on probation and is still a useless drunk/pothead as far as I know. He would be the worst possible influence on our two teenagers.
It's his mother's fault he's the way he is. No matter what he did when he was younger she didn't care, and she expected everybody else to give in to him. She lost three boys in the 70's because another sister called CPS on her back then. Those boys grew up healthy and happy and got the good, loving homes they deserved. I know because they went to a church some of my dad's family went to and I saw them for myself w/o letting them know who I was to them.
I've played the CPS game and know better than to ever take another chance. Our family is lucky, we were reunited, we now have the baby, and we're still close. There's nothing any of us will ever do to risk being broken up again.

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katgotsteve
Posts: 219
Joined: Thu Dec 21, 2006 10:47 am
Location: Georgia

Postby katgotsteve » Mon Aug 04, 2008 4:18 am

i learned a long time ago that you protect your own. you can not fix the world and the only one you have control over is the one you live in.
hang in there. you were right, protect your children no matter what.

kat

debbiescalese
Posts: 460
Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2007 4:55 am
Location: WV

Postby debbiescalese » Wed Aug 06, 2008 6:38 am

At 21 he is more than able to get his crap together and live on his own. this is NOT your problem. I would not have taken him in either.


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