want to make something bad into a positive

[kali]

<i> hello everyone - first of all i just want to say that i truly APPRECIATE this website. i am continually impressed with how many intelligent and sensitive parents and members there are here. i find myself crying reading about the injustice that has been done to SO MANY of us though - i often have to log off for a couple days because i get emotionally drained reading all the stories similar to mine.

i am new to posting to this site --- i first discovered this website in 2004 while actively going through my family re-unification plan trying to get my daughter back into my arms. at the time of beng heavily involved with CPS and trying to work 2 jobs as a single parent i didn't have the time to post on this site. i have written a few different variations on exactly what led up to me losing custody of my daughter if anyone wants to read them by the way...the only thing that varies is how much detail i put into each very very long paper.

my point in this posting is this --- losing my daughter (failure to thrive for weighing 18 pounds at 13 months old - which was unfounded) for the lies and ASSUMPTIONS that CPS reported as the truth has absolutely devastated me. it has been 4.5 years since i lost sole custody of my daughter and it has brought me more pain than i thought i could survive. and i am not saying that lightly. i have also survived a parent's suicide and losing my soulmate to a drug overdose as well as having lost my virginity to my rapist at 18 years old so not to have a pity party but I HAVE BEEN THOUGH SOME SHIT!!! LOSING MY DAUGHTER MAKES those other tragedies seem like a walk in the park.

I desperately want to "dedicate" my life to taking this painful experience and trying to make it positive...i know i will see my daughter again when she is old enough to emancipate herself and come live with me (she is only 5 but already tells my mother she wants to do this) but in the meantime - i want to HELP OTHERS. i am 33 and fairly intelligent and i will be receiving some $$ from my dad's estate (he committed suicide last year) soon and i am thinking of going back to school.

my question is this --- what should or COULD i do to help others that have been victimized by CPS?!? other than becoming a lawyer and i mean a lawyer that will actually TAKE ON CASES AGAINST THE GOVERNMENT - CPS IS OUR GOVERNMENT FOLKS!!! (trust me i am truly thinking of this but i just don't believe there are enough cases i could win AND dedicating my life to going against our government could be very dangerous. i am not afraid of danger but i DO want to have another child someday and wouldn't want to orphan that child. and only another child ONCE i have a stable partner in my life because being a single parent with no "family support" is a MAJOR FACTOR in CPS taking kids - TRUST ME ON THAT!!!

any suggestions?

i am trying to write a book on my experience as i am a writer but that is not enough. i have too much passion to really want to do anything but make myself a soldier for this cause.

god bless

[Marina]

Call Child Welfare and ask them if there are any mothers who have a case against them, who need things for their baby, such as a crib, diapers, etc. Give them your phone number and see if you get a response.

The 2 women that I have helped really know how to work the system. I have taken them to court, to counseling, to the food bank distribution churches, to visitation with their children, to the grocery store, to apply for jobs, to the doctor, to the emergency room, to jail to visit a loved one. I have ridden the bus with them so they will know how to get places. I have given them bus fare, even after they sold their bus tickets from mental health to buy cigarettes. We have let them stay in our upstairs apartment, even when they could no longer pay rent. I even sat in on a childbirth.

Go to juvenile court. There are plenty of people there who need help.

[MaggieC]

Join an advocacy group for fit parents and volunteer at same. Your personal experience means a great deal in reaching out to help other parents. Become a paralegal. Become an attorney.

Speak out at city council meetings, state senate and assembly meetings, Congressional hearings.

The options are endless.

You, having been through this nightmare, can shed much more light on the situation than those who are only "academically" involved.

Reach out to local legal advocacy organizations and offer to speak at their CLE (continuing legal education) classes.

Good for you for looking to ways to help others.

[Socialworker]

You can do lobby work. You can do this in a couple of ways, 1 would be to sign up with an advocacy group that you believe in, you could work up to levels of government and basically meet your states representatives about your advocacy group's concerns.

You can also do it on your own. You pay your representatives. Start calling them, sending mail, start with the ones in your county and work your way out to the others. It's pretty easy to talk with them, easier than you would think. If you go to your state's website, you can actually get a lot of information on how to contact them. Many have email set up. If/when you do call them, make sure you tell them you're in their county, they'll be more likely to listen to you, they'll be even more likely to listen if it's an election year.

You can also work in the legal system as an advocate. Volunteer at a firm or organization that you believe in. You might start out making copies, but places who need volunteers will always put them to use, and it wouldn't be long till you were more involved.

[kali]

<i> thanks you guys - i was thinking of becoming a paralegal anyway because i am highly organized and have worked as an admin. assistant for years and i actually do like office work...

you guys have some good ideas i will research - it is hard for me as i am an idealist at heart and don't want to lose all hope in our government but i know i will feel better actually DOING someone to help bring about reform.

i wish i had the money (it would cost ALOT) to open a daycare for poor single WORKING parents as that was the REASON i lost my mikayla...there is SUCH a need for affordable yet QUALITY childcare. even the dirty, overcrowded, rinky-dink daycares i looked at were hundreds per week!!! (san fran area where rent alone is $1200 per month for 1 bedroom apartments)