When does it end?

General chat area for anything that doesn't fit in elsewhere.

Moderators: family_man, LindaJM

Posts: 27
Joined: Wed Apr 16, 2008 7:15 pm

When does it end?

Postby searcher » Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:53 am

We're still waiting for reports that were due in late September. They won't consider starting re-unification until all the reports are in. We are eight months into our case and they just postponed our next hearing until the case will 10 months gone. We have been nothing but complient and they have been nothing but non-complient. I can't take it anymore.

I am very close to not being able to take anymore. My children were my life. My babies were the reason I lived and breathed. I have one hour of supervised contact with them a week. Now, I'm trusting people who are strangers. People who don't care anything about us or our children. (I'm talking our attorneys, here, I know better than to trust CPS.)

Our youngest is learning to walk. Our older child is being potty trained. Huge monumental milestones in their lives and we get to share in them for an hour a week. They are in kinship care and according to CPS with our relative supervising we can see them as often as we like. Really, we could put them to bed every night. Unfortunately, I didn't know when we chose the caregiver that this person has a serious grudge against me and is basically holding my relationship with my children hostage over it. My husband is being lumped in with me in the punishments coming from the family member because they say that they won't allow one of us to have contact with the children without the other. We don't know anything about our children except what we can figure out in one hour a week.

DH keeps saying that I need to be strong. I need to be strong and believe that our babies are coming home. I want to be, but I don't have it in me anymore. I'm starting to forget what it is to be a mom. I'm starting to forget what they feel like as they are drifting off to sleep in my arms. I'm starting to forget what they sound like when they're dreaming. I keep walking into their bedrooms in the middle of the night and checking on empty beds.

I can't take it anymore. How do you hold on when it feels like it's all gone? I'm tired of beating my head against a brick wall. I'm broken.

All I wanted to be in life as a mom. I was a good mom. I don't understand why this is happening. I don't think I can take much more.

User avatar
good dad
Site Admin
Posts: 1589
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:11 am
Location: Minnesota

Postby good dad » Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:20 pm

I think everyone whose case is long, goes through what your feeling..

You need to document everything that has happened and show how CPS isn't being compliant and how you are doing everything asked, if the services are court ordered ask the judge to hold them in contempt at the next hearing for not meeting the goals set by the court.

Instead of sitting back being compliant, begin bringing the fight to them. Your caseworker probably has dozens of cases to prepare for, you only have 1 and you can spend your time picking apart everything in their paperwork or things they have done or haven't done , be it in law or CPS policy and file it as a "Statement to the Court"

One thing I found is when the caseworker begins to see your learning the laws and pointing out the policys he's violated (always with a smile I might add) they begin to get their chit together and your case ends sooner with a happier ending than if you simply wait for them to do their thing.

Caseworkers love parents who are passive and compliant, it makes their job easier and it gives them the ability to dictate that you do whatever they wish.

Caseworkers hate parents who have learned enough to legallypoint out each mistake they make and aren't afraid to point it out in court to the judge.

Good luck and keep your chin up
My advice is my opinion and not legal advice
A bad lawyer is worse then no lawyer and bad advice is worse then no advice....


Postby MaggieC » Thu Nov 13, 2008 4:39 am

Searcher-please be sure to document EVERYTHING. Put everything in writing. Call your attorney, follow that up writing. Write to the caseworkers and copy in your attorney and the caseworker's supervisor.
Although many lose at trial court, they do go on to win on appeal owing to good documentation.

Above all, stand with your spouse. Do not allow this to tear the two of you apart. Present a united front.

Posts: 178
Joined: Thu May 24, 2007 5:22 am

Postby eyeq181 » Fri Dec 05, 2008 10:45 am

My kids got to be in Kinship for only 4 months and it was a lot better. Your lucky for them to be there. Our kids got removed from there when my daughter made up a story cause she was mad at her older brother. Not good for a child with no remorse. And as DHS see's it kids never lie.

Trust me it never ends. We are still in it a year later. And the only thing left is ( is she lying or not). That is it. It's taken a year and it has nothing to do with us. She said her brother had sex with his girlfriend that has never been to our house.

Hard to prove since she was beaten badly by her ex DHS caseworker dad. She won't say anything. They won't prove that there is no way which they could. But are afraid they will get there kids taken.

So it never ends. When there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel. It turns out to be a freight train.

Our daughter told the caseworker that my husband uses needle drugs. Although that was proven to be false with a hair folical test. They insist she is telling the truth.

Just be careful. Be prepared for you kids to come home at anytime but be prepare for them not too.
Parents spend so much time teaching our kids not to go with strangers or talk to strangers, and no to show your body to strangers. And this is what CPS-DHS is all about.

Return to “Round Table”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests