Loss in Family

[eyeq181]

SO far since my kids have been taken my kids have lost

There grandfather
There bio-logical father
and there great grandma on the 2nd of this month.

There were never given the oppertunity to go to any funeral or even to be told about the deaths.

Is this right?

These were people that saw are kids a least once a month since birth. Our kids are going to come home and these people are not going to be around anymore.

I can't go to the funerals because most of my family don't know about our situation. And with all of the child support taken I can't get a plane ticket.

Is there away around this all. Or is this just the way things happen.

[LindaJM]

I'm so sorry for all your recent losses. I'm sure the caseworkers don't want to upset your children more right now - they are probably already severely traumatized from being away from you. The caseworkers may think the children will act out more and be harder to handle if they know what happened. They'd rather wait and let you tell them when they go home. That way if they act out it will be your problem to deal with and not theirs.

[Momoffor]

You know...

My oldest son is autistic and every time we go to an IEP meeting or the school gets a hair up their butt, they decide they want to try to offer services. Every time I have always been assured it would be from a professional who is specialized with autistic children. Every time, they are not 'specialized' in any such thing. They end up taking my child who has progressed in leaps in abounds after much hard work and dedication based off things that WE have done and discovered works for him, and they give me back this shattered shell of a child that their guinea pig tactics didnt work on and had an opposite effect. I am expected to fix him.

I have learned not to accept anything from any of their 'specialists' and have even told the school that I feel like we are caught in a never ending nursery rhyme where he is humpty dumpty and the school is the kings horses and kings men that couldnt put him back together again. So they turn to me to wave a magic wand and fix what they broke so they can wash their hands of the breaking part, but take glory in the putting back together part that he and I have to do with no help from them.

CPS does the same humpty dumpty routine. They 'break' the kids, then hand them back for the parents to put back together, and then they revel in all the glory about how they 'fixed' the family.

I am very sorry for your losses. It is never easy to lose a loved one, and one of the things that usually makes those emotional feelings better to deal with is the fact that I have my children and family surrounding me.

I agree with Linda as to why they are choosing to not allow your kids to know, plus I believe they dont want them told right now, because then the kids will blame them and hate them for making them be away from their family, and lashing out at them in care. You win at getting to be the bad guy, and they win at getting to be the good guy who lives in the magical world of make believe where nothing bad every happens once the kids are removed from the parents home, and kids dont lie. (Look at the story of the 16 year old kid who was being held captive and beat by the person CPS placed him with and, the 8 year old who shot and killed his father and fathers roommate in premeditated murders and then lied about it).

My heart goes out to you and your family.

[Trisha G]

They forbid us to tell our daughter why our son wasn't in school or at visits. (we told her anyway, do the morons really think we don't have ways) They don't ever want to be the bad guys, but luckily our kids don't fall for it. They hate them as much as we do, and know not to believe a word they say. Our son learned that the hard way, when that bitch visitation supervisor lied to him, and he got the phone ripped out of his hands by his foster mother, when he called to ask me what was going on. The only way they'd ever break us up again is over my dead body. The older kids have made plans and will run with the baby if CPS ever tries anything again, and I'll go to prison before I let them know where my kids are.