Wife Swap

General chat area for anything that doesn't fit in elsewhere.

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nickerdew
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Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2008 11:42 am
Location: Washington state

Wife Swap

Postby nickerdew » Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:39 pm

As I sit here and watch the Lifetime series "Wife Swap" I am amazed that most of these people still have their children!

Do socail workers, judges, attorneys etc... not watch this program?
I am not of the opinion that the parents are unfit ( in most cases) but I see these people doing or admitting to doing things that are sso much closer to abuse and or neglect than the excuses socail workers/family (civil) court are using to tear other families apart!

Am I to believe that no court mandated reporter ever watches this program or the others like it?

I am sure that if I announced on T.V. that my 6 7 & 8 year old children didn't go to bed until midnight, missed school, casualy threatening to" kill my kids" admitting to " bustin their asses" spending until 4 or 5 a.m. at the casino "as much as possible", feces on the floor ( both human and animal) and just plain living in filth that my child would be stolen away one day and I would labeled a monster.

So why is it different for them? Because it's entertaining?
I thought it was all about no child being left behind and zero tolerance?
God has a very specail place set aside for those who harm children...this includes social workers!

nippper
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Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 12:02 pm
Location: mt

Postby nippper » Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:22 pm

i watch this show and trading spouse's as well. I have wondered the same thing. Like the family with the "whacker". While corporal punishment is legal in some states, it isn't if you use a tool. Nor is it legal to wash mouths out with soap.

MaggieC

Postby MaggieC » Fri Jan 09, 2009 11:27 pm

I believe that a CPS investigation may only be triggered by an actual report.

If people watching these shows don't report then no investigation.

They CAN'T come to you. They can only act upon a report.

Marina
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Postby Marina » Sat Jan 10, 2009 7:03 am

Social workers themselves can make the reports.

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LindaJM
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Postby LindaJM » Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:47 pm

There's no doubt that the people on these shows are risking their children's futures (with CPS) if that's what's going on.

I don't have a TV connection so I'm spared from all that. My TV is used only for movies. (Netflix!)
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Please keep in mind that none of us are lawyers and we can't give legal advice. We are simply telling you what we would do in a similar situation. It is to your advantage to get a lawyer.

"Evil flourishes when good men do nothing." - Edmund Burke ... so try to do something to change the system ...

momomma
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Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2006 10:41 pm
Location: Missouri

Postby momomma » Sat Jan 31, 2009 10:41 pm

I think those shows are extremely exaggerated for "entertainment" and shock purposes of showing two extremes.

nickerdew
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2008 11:42 am
Location: Washington state

Postby nickerdew » Sun Feb 01, 2009 12:54 pm

I don't know... it's possible that the reality t.v. program is exagerated for entertainment purposes; much like Jerry Springer but regardless I don't think it's exagerrated that much.
Let me use an example of one of the programs I saw of Wife Swap: A strict rebulican mom was trading places with a carnival mom.
The carny mom raises her three little girls in a travel trailer and her and her husband are employed with the carnival... a lot of traveling, in fact weekly traveling so they homeschool their children.
The oldest child had trouble with simple reading, math skills and writing.
The two younger didn't do any school at all.
All three of the girls were without guidance and support during the carnival, which means all day and most of the night (at least all carnivals I've been to run late into the night) so the girls run around the carnival only expectted to check in with the parents.
Meals consist of whatever they can store and cook in a travel trailer and the girls recieve free 'perks' from the carnival such as food and rides.

Now while some of this may be exagerated I have to believe that basically this is what's happening.
How could it not?
The older child was extrememly over weight ( poor diet and no excersize) the younger children were not old enough to understand the difference between crying and being disrespectful and rude for the camera versus just being that way.

A lot of the tears I have seen from these kids are very real which leads me to believe that some of the story is reality.
God has a very specail place set aside for those who harm children...this includes social workers!

momomma
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Location: Missouri

Postby momomma » Mon Feb 02, 2009 5:09 pm

You make good points nickerdew.

I have actually watched some of those shows that disturbed me somewhat. One that comes to mind is the mom who made her kids make dance practically their life..they even had to punch time cards everyday. On the other hand some of them who have let their kids just run wild with no kind of supervision can be just as dangerous. You can see all kinds of dysfunction watching those shows for sure and you're probably right that alot of it is real...I only think that they tend to "play it up" for the ratings. KWIM?

HappyMommyx4
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Postby HappyMommyx4 » Tue Feb 03, 2009 12:26 am

I very rarely watch television but I have friends who tell me about shows that bring a Nanny in to teach the parents how to handle the kids. Apparently some of the stuff happening in the homes is pretty horrible. Years ago I watched a show called How Clean is Your House where the house was so filthy that no one slept on beds, maggots were on plates, and the filth was incredible. Whee is CPS is in that situation? Where are those nosey neighbors? Can't the smell the rotten stench when the door opens? And what aobut the people living like this? They get to go on a television show and haved someone make over their home while I am spending every penny I have on lawyers to get my case dismissed because I refuse to as much as agree to a diversion program.

Momoffor
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Postby Momoffor » Tue Feb 03, 2009 5:12 pm

I used to do the bookkeeping for a friends cleaning business. She was telling me about a customer who just signed on with them. (Their previous cleaning service let them go, so you know at that point its got to be bad).

The house was horrible. BEYOND deplorable!!!! This family would cook dinner and just leave all the dishes where they lay, leave the leftovers on the stove, or sometimes throw it in the sink. (I was told that day there was a half a roast, among other things, still in the pan was in the sink just packed full of maggots and a lovely green color) Once dishes ran out, or they didnt want to cook anymore, they just got take out or drive through and that all laid exactly where it landed. ALL OVER! Laundry just lay wherever it fell and cat litter boxes never got emptied by the family. They were THAT lazy! They hired the cleaning service to come once every other week to do it all for them. The stench was horrible and I was at the office one day when they got back from the bi monthly cleaning and the smell just stuck to them. Part of the contract was to do the laundry as well. The crew had 10 bags of garbage and 5 bags of laundry in garbage bags. Even the laundry smell was horrid as the cats and dogs messed all over the floor and everything on the floor plus the bedding!

It was determined the cleaning company didnt want to risk jacking up their washers and dryers over the 'ick'. so took everything to the laundry mat. The laundry part of the contract was to clean the articles of clothing that could be 'saved' and discard what couldnt. Roughly 1 trash bag of clean clothing went back to the family, the rest was so nasty it got tossed!

This was not from a medical condition or anything of the like that kept them from being unable to, this was unwillingness to. The family members actually would sit on the couch and watch TV while the cleaning crew was there cleaning their filth!!! PURE laziness! The parents also felt that the cleaning expense was too high, so thats why they only wanted the crew to come every other week instead of more often (which actually would have been the same price since more filth means higher charge for cleaning!, AND the amount they paid was just astronomical!)

I know they got dropped after a few months because it was just too disgusting and the crew refused to go there anymore! (EVERY person on the crew 'lost lunch' when they went there! UGH!). Where was CPS?? Kids were still in the house, preteen and teens, and I believe one adult child as well!

Maybe it was the upscale neighborhood where they lived, or the fact that they had plenty of money that kept 'agencies' away. (I dont know for a fact that CPS was not involved, but its hard to imagine they were with the condition of the house and kids still living there.
Last edited by Momoffor on Fri Feb 06, 2009 8:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

Trisha G
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Postby Trisha G » Tue Feb 03, 2009 11:30 pm

Momoffor wrote:I used to do the bookkeeping for a friends cleaning business. She was telling me about a customer who just signed on with them. (Their previous cleaning service let them go, so you know at that point its got to be bad).

The house was horrible. BEYOND deplorable!!!! This family would cook dinner and just leave all the dishes where they lay, leave the leftovers on the stove, or sometimes throw it in the sink. (I was told that day there was a half a roast, among other things, still in the pan was in the sink just packed full of maggots and a lovely green color) Once dishes ran out, or they didnt want to cook anymore, they just got take out or drive through and that all laid exactly where it landed. ALL OVER! Laundry just lay wherever it fell and cat litter boxes never got emptied by the family. They were THAT lazy! They hired the cleaning service to come once every other week to do it all for them. The stench was horrible and I was at the office one day when they got back from the bi monthly cleaning and the smell just stuck to them. Part of the contract was to do the laundry as well. The crew had 10 bags of garbage and 5 bags of laundry in garbage bags. Even the laundry smell was horrid as the cats and dogs messed all over the floor and everything on the floor plus the bedding!

It was determined the cleaning company didnt want to risk jacking up their washers and dryers over the 'ick'. so took everything to the laundry mat. The laundry part of the contract was to clean the articles of clothing that could be 'saved' and discard what couldnt. Roughly 1 trash bag of clean clothing went back to the family, the rest was so nasty it got tossed!

This was not from a medical condition or anything of the like! The family members actually would sit on the couch and watch TV while the cleaning crew was there cleaning their filth!!! PURE laziness! The parents also felt that the cleaning expense was too high, so thats why they only wanted the crew to come every other week instead of more often (which actually would have been the same price since more filth means higher charge for cleaning!, AND the amount they paid was just astronomical!)

I know they got dropped after a few months because it was just too disgusting and the crew refused to go there anymore! (EVERY person on the crew 'lost lunch' when they went there! UGH!). Where was CPS?? Kids were still in the house, preteen and teens, and I believe one adult child as well!

Maybe it was the upscale neighborhood where they lived, or the fact that they had plenty of money that kept 'agencies' away. (I dont know for a fact that CPS was not involved, but its hard to imagine they were with the condition of the house and kids still living there.
That's ridiculous. They got onto us, during both cases for having clean clothes stacked in laundry baskets, and during the first case for our shelves being "cluttered" with food. Mind you, they were canned goods and being in a trailer we had no cabinet space so it was stored on plastic shelves by the refridgerator. I guess the shelves in our pantry are cluttered with food too, since we still have plenty of food, but since nobody sees it, it doesn't matter.

nickerdew
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Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2008 11:42 am
Location: Washington state

Postby nickerdew » Sun Feb 08, 2009 6:29 pm

I was accused of neglecting my children due to lack of food.
NOBODY in my family can be accused of being skinny!~ if ya know what I mean.

A 'worker' from cps came to my house because my 5 yr. old went to the neighbors house and asked if she could eat dinner with them ( she was friends with their 5 yr. old) when the alcoholic, perverted father who hit on me constantly asked her why she wanted to eat over she explained to him that someone broke into our house and stole all our food while we slept the night before!
He took full advantage of that since the week prior as I was exiting my bathroom after a shower I had once again found him standing outside the bathroom door. I had screamed at him to leave and after dressing marched over to his house and told his wife to keep her husband home. ( she didn't ask what I was talking about or why, just shut the door in my face)

I explained that we had plenty of food, my daughter had been throwing a fit about not wanting to eat her dinner before she was allowed ANOTHER popsicle so she made the ridiculous story up.
When the drunken pervert asked when we were robbed of our food my daughter and his son were standing there munching on Goldfish crackers. I asked them what they were eating and my little girl pulled handfulls of the crackers out of her pocket as did his son.
I thought I'd made it clear we did indeed have plenty of food.

The social worker arrived looked through my cupboards (packed with enough food that the pantry door wouldn't close completely) and my fridge consisted of milk, eggs, butter, condiments, a tupperware dish of left over tuna casserole and a 5 pound roll of hamburger.
She made a note that I had no food in the fridge, I explained it was 2 days before I was to be paid and last pay check was spent on rent, then I brought her to the stand up freezer in the garage that was packed full of things like Hot Pockets, Marie Calandars dinners, popscicles... she made a note saying I fed them only junk food.
I explained to her that the freezer was after school snacks and dinner when I worked late and that I don't buy a lot of meat since we don't eat much meat, she then asked why no veggies and fruits.
I referred her back to the point I made regarding pay day and bills and the frozen veggies in the freezer inside the house.
I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't.
A single mom, no state assistance, making it work, wasn't good enough.
She made no notes about the cleanliness of my home though, oddly enough, my days off and time between jobs was spent cleaning, cooking, helping with homework, putting puzzles together as a family and playing Monopoly and Trouble etc...

After she stole my children, traumatizing them, destroying our lives and forcing me to become unemployed and a patient at a drug and alcohol clinic I discovered her husband had recently left her and was running around with the father of my children bedding as many available women as possible at the time she removed my kids from my care.

How did I discover this?
Her hubby was a patient at the same drug and alcohol clinic as I and after he over heard me ( I had no idea who he was or even that she was married!) voicing my opinion regarding his wifes character he put the word out that I was to feel threatend and when I made it clear that street mentality has no effect on me he made another point to show me the gun he had sitting on his lap as he sat in his car that he parked next to mine.

I reported it to the administrator of the clinic and she assured me she would handle it...

So! if you are seperated or divorced warn your ex to make sure their pals are not married to a vindictive and kniving socail worker!
No matter how clean your home or OBVIOUSLY well fed and healthy your children, they are in danger of their lives being ripped apart as well as being exposed to abuses of all sorts if some jealous cow decides it's pay back time!

I don't mean for this message to sound as if the home I provided my kids was without fault or that I was equal to June Cleaver.
I was not, I am not anything close to any sort of perfection, I do have problems and I did then too but in comparison to the families I see flaunting their "dirty laundry" on national television I should have been nominated as mayor of momsville!
Instead I am familar with sites such as this that helps keep me from succumbing to the weight of...
My children have been damaged due to exposure to things that no child should ever be forced to endure while their parent's, their protector's are forced to watch it and allow it.

God has a very special place set aside for people who destroy children and families! THIS I KNOW and this I am not ashamed to admitt I look forward to.

Just a thought but wouldn't it be wonderful to sit and watch as the people who hurt our children were forced to sit and watch a replay of ALL the events and actions they caused while a judge reviewed the sentencing guidlines and available charges!
God has a very specail place set aside for those who harm children...this includes social workers!

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Greegor
Posts: 746
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Location: Cedar Rapids Iowa

Postby Greegor » Sun Feb 22, 2009 4:25 pm

My SO discovered that a friend of her friends
was a social worker.

At one point she made a comment that every family
CPS investigates should just sign over their kids!

That was an eye opener but the icing came later.

She was so extremely promiscuous that even
in these times we live in she stood out.

She had shared the rental on a house with two
other women for years, each paying a third, even
though her own parents owned the house.

Then she hooked up with a guy who
was a complete slug, bad rap sheet, no work,
complete party animal and worse.

She moved him into the house and they
had sex and alcohol binges which caused
considerable problems for the other renters
who eventually moved out.

Ijust thought it was funny that a woman who
had been so very critical of choices others
made in their life made such outrageously
bad choices in her own life.

Another person, a caseworker in our case
saw that I had 2 very old misdemeanor
Domestic Violence convictions on my record.
My ex-wife 1994 was a rather extreme bipolar.

But the caseworker basically wrote up a
fairy tale of DV between my SO and I.

We researched her and found that her
Bachelors was from UNI in Criminology.

Her fiance was a non custodial Dad and
among other things a burglary felon.
One day he beat her so badly she had
bad bruises all over, from top to bottom.

She ran to the court right away and got
a Judge to lift the No Contact Order.

Then only a few months later she was
yacking in the courthouse hallway with
the other cluck clucks on the case, and
showing off her engagement ring.

My SO did that subliminal cough thing
where the cough said wife beater!

The part I couldn't forget is that this woman
ran back to her abuser and and that if
one of her client parents did this she
would be right there taking their kids
away for going back to the abuser.

Don't forget, there were kids involved
although only on non-custodial visits.

It seems most of these people can't live
the way they expect others to.

When I cross examined her in court I asked
her if her Criminology degree helped her
to understand her husband the burglary felon.

She complained that I was stalking her.
I pointed out that my comments were based
on public records, and that she had asserted
DV between by SO and I without any evidence.

I moved on to other questions. LOL

nickerdew
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2008 11:42 am
Location: Washington state

Postby nickerdew » Sun Feb 22, 2009 5:24 pm

It really is a shame that not all parents have information regarding the S.W. that is involved in the destruction of their lives.
If I would have known what was going on at the first hearing I would had my kids home that afternoon.
I would suggest that anyone who can does an internet search on the case worker and then if you can find te name of their spouse do a search on him or her.
I know in Washington you can find charges and court dates for people by name if you go to the Washington State Court website and go to the "find my courtdate" section which also includes other links to find out case numbers of new and old histories.
You can then use those case numbers by going to the court house and looking up the case.
You can find up coming court dates and attend court to find out whats going on currently.
Start by doing the above and also google their name and look for free marriage records.
All the online pay detective scources I've used are untrustworthy, I did a felony search on someone I knew had multiple felonies and 3 of the services came back as a clear?
Anyway, I agree! The case workers lay out demands that theey themselves couldn't even dream of fullfilling.
But so long as they are getting that big fat bonus they will keep it up.
It's like giving a thief the combo to your safe.
All about the money and nothing to do with the safety and welfare of children.
It's criminal, it's baby/child brokering and they should be locked up!
God has a very specail place set aside for those who harm children...this includes social workers!


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