holidays.....

[clara2002]

i was never allowed to spend any holidays with any of my kids cuz the caseworkers dont want our family to get close to them, and let them spend christmas with us, cuz my kids foster parents wanted to spend every occasion with them all because they really want them. and that time, i was trying to get them back, when they caseworkers were screwing us all over. i have never spend any holidays with them. and its not right, cuz every parent i know has spent every holiday with thier own kids while they were in states custody. is there justice in that? what should i do? they would never let us all be together on their birthdays either.

[LindaJM]

These caseworkers are self-serving and heartless. I don't think many parents get to spend holidays or birthdays with children in foster care. Caseworkers don't care about ruining our holidays. All they care about is getting their paychecks and time off.

[clara2002]

thanks gals. i thought i was alone in the world going through this. its hard getting throught the holidays without them. and when dec. comes, its like i cant get away from all that, mothers day, fathers day, same with thier birthdays, so, i just leave all the halloween decorations up through out dec. i dont mind the other holidays. i try hard to see the positives no matter what happens, theres always a will to every way in everything. its never too late. i learn never ever take no for an answer. thank you for the support, and im pulling for ya!!!!

[treytrey1]

My kids were taken 5 days before Christmas. We didnt get to see them that year. We were able to talk to the girls on
the phone but our son was in a different home and not allowed to call us.
By the time birthdays rolled around in March the kids had beem moved with family so we got to have birthdays with them.
2009 as a good year. We had all birthdays, Easter and Mothers day. Somehow we didnt get Fathers day , Halloween or Thanksgiving.
We did get Christmas but all were supervised. Very uncomfortable. Then the start of 2010. Got Birthdays with 2 younger kids, Easter
and husbands birhday. Husbands birthday was on Easter this year. Got mothers day. Thats the last time I saw my two oldest children.
My oldested daughters therapist put a report in to the court that the kids needed a break for us, so all contact is canceled until further
notice. The kids are now in the permanent guardianship of my mom and moving to Alabama Dec. 22nd. I may not see them again until
they are 18. We have all really had ups and down. During the time they were in CPS custody they werent allowed to have holidays
with the entire family just us and the grandparents who were keeping them. Our caseworker thought to much family would be two
hard on them.

[LindaJM]

TreyTrey1, that is so terribly sad. I'm so sorry you can't see your children now. I had a similar situation, being unable to see my two oldest daughters for years due to their father's hostility toward me and my lack-of-money situation. It is painful... but I want you to know, you are not alone!

[treytrey1]

Thanks Linda that means a lot. We haven't given up
and we do know they want to see us. They send
messages through my mom every chance they get. My
oldest will be 18 in 3 and a half years. I hope I don't have
to wait that long.

[TDD84]

I'm not sure if this would be emotionally beneficial or detrimental to you (I'm slightly ignorant sometimes, so forgive me), but perhaps buy some Christmas presents you think they'll enjoy later on and have them wrapped up in an out-of-sight spot to throw a grand belated Christmas party later. Probably not a very original idea, but you might have to play mental tricks on yourself. "Nope, we're not missing Christmas at all. We're just having it later. No biggie." That sort of thing.

Or maybe I'm just crazy. Wait, I guess I better not say that, or I may trigger an investigation by a lurking SW who will enjoy telling a judge,"She's mentally unstable! I've seen it myself!"

[treytrey1]

At least in our case we are allowed to send gifts and them to us. We just cant see them. This is hard on my mom because she has to have to
have a seperate Christmas with us without the rest of the family. When we first started the no contact Fathers day was the first special day
to come up. The kids sent cards to their daddy and my oldest daughters therapist got upset over it. You can tell she is an uncaring bitch who
obviously doesnt have family.

[clara2002]

I'm not sure if this would be emotionally beneficial or detrimental to you (I'm slightly ignorant sometimes, so forgive me), but perhaps buy some Christmas presents you think they'll enjoy later on and have them wrapped up in an out-of-sight spot to throw a grand belated Christmas party later. Probably not a very original idea, but you might have to play mental tricks on yourself. "Nope, we're not missing Christmas at all. We're just having it later. No biggie." That sort of thing.

Or maybe I'm just crazy. Wait, I guess I better not say that, or I may trigger an investigation by a lurking SW who will enjoy telling a judge,"She's mentally unstable! I've seen it myself!"

a mental image dosent work for me. i choose reality. i love my children that much. my goals make me strong.