RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) resulting from removal...

[CPSptsd]

Anyone else dealing with this?

We believe our daughter has Reactive Attachment Disorder. Milder case than some I have read about, thank goodness... but it's directly related to her removal and how CPS aided her father in kidnapping her and then allowed her to be abused and neglected for a year.

We will never be able to clean up the "mess" that was left, psychologically, with this child.

[LindaJM]

Hi there,

I don't have any experience dealing with this (not sure if my daughter had it) but I know it is common with foster children, and so must also be common for children returned from CPS ordeals. She may need trauma therapy. How are you dealing with it so far, and how did you get her diagnosed? I'd love to know more.

[CPSptsd]

Hi there,

I don't have any experience dealing with this (not sure if my daughter had it) but I know it is common with foster children, and so must also be common for children returned from CPS ordeals. She may need trauma therapy. How are you dealing with it so far, and how did you get her diagnosed? I'd love to know more.

No formal diagnosis. I just read a LOT and research a ton. I am also about 2 classes away from an Associate's in Psychology so it's a personal interest of mine. I did a few research papers on RAD based on our experiences with her.

We are afraid of therapy for her though. It is very common for RAD children to make stuff up and say ridiculous things.. people who know her know to blow it off but we are so afraid of getting help and having it backfire with a CPS call. But we know she needs it. So it's very screwed up. For example, this a minor thing that happened but it could have been anything, you never know what she's going to TELL people. She had head lice, and we took care of it, but when I was washing her hair one evening a few weeks later I noticed she still had old (dead) nits and I mentioned it, and I got out the lice comb and used it on her. She asked me "Are there bugs in my hair?" and I told her no, just the dead eggs from before. She went to school the next day telling everyone she had lice and they'd better stay away! The school nurse (who, thankfully, is a personal friend) called me and asked me what was up. Started a whole "panic" in the elementary groups and teachers wanting everyone's heads checked. Ugh.

She will say she didn't get to eat, when in fact she didn't get to eat what she REQUESTED. She'll do this with teachers as well, giving us half the story and if you didn't know to take it with a grain of salt you'd think she was just being abused and neglected left and right by everyone.

She has zero stranger awareness. She can't play outside on her own, in our fenced yard, because she will wave at/call out to ANYONE walking by. No matter how many times she's told not to and that it's not safe. Once I left her out there for five minutes, came back out and she was engaging an elderly man (who was outside the fence) in conversation, he didn't even speak English! LOL. But she drug a chair over to stand up and shake his hand. I mean, he was a nice guy but what if he hadn't been!

It just takes an enormous effort for us to get her to understand rules and why they are in place and get her to follow through. It's exhausting. And she is so "charming" to people that are new that no one understands what they see as us being strict with her.

Thankfully, if she does have it, it's milder than the usual. Probably because she WAS with us for the first 2.5 years and usually it is less of a problem with kids over age 3. Not that they don't suffer in other ways; trauma always has effects on the brain and development... just thankful that we are not dealing with a severe "case" here. Because she DID bond with us both before being abducted, that's a good thing, but her father telling her horrible things (that her mom didn't want her, that her mom was dead) did immeasurable damage.

Mostly we see a lot of superficial charm, tendency to try and schmooze with ANY adult outside the family, lying, hoarding stuff, sneaking food despite being very very well fed, and hygiene issues. She doesn't seem to lack empathy for others though, and that's a biggie.

She's also developmentally behind, whereas before her father and CPS absconded with her she was advanced.